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Rascal Flatts

post #1 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:09pm
Thread Starter 
Has there ever been a group less deserving of survival?
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post #2 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:13pm
You know how nature does shit like makes a bug look like a leaf or a twig, to keep it alive? I believe the music industry names artists with a series of phonetic sounds warning me to stay the fuck away. Sounds that make you sound retarded when you pronounce them in sequence. Thus, I have never heard a song by Rascall Flatts or Kenny Chesney. Nature is warning me with their names.

(This doesn't always work; Conway Twitty is fucking awesome.)
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post #3 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:13pm
The Backstreet Boys as filtered through Deliverance with an extra few dashes of hillbilly rape and enough moonshine to taint the embryo and make it come out as an Epsilon Minus. Uniformly terrible.
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post #4 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:14pm
Fuck me with a polar bear, but I like Rascal Flatts. There are many, many groups more deserving of your ire. You could be forced to listen to Little Big Town, Gloriana, or Big n Rich.
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post #5 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:17pm
Yes!
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post #6 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:20pm
The first comment really seals the deal

Quote:
this is my all time favorite brokencyde song
Compared to fucking WHAT?
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post #7 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
The Backstreet Boys as filtered through Deliverance with an extra few dashes of hillbilly rape and enough moonshine to taint the embryo and make it come out as an Epsilon Minus. Uniformly terrible.
You make them sound a lot better than they are. The problem is there's nothing hillbilly about them, they're just terrible pop with a Shania Twain production. If they weren't a country band, they'd be a Christian rock band.
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post #8 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:27pm
Any "Country" group that has been around less than 20 years and isn't the Zach Brown Band should die, painfully. I have to listen to people drone on about Rascal Flatts and Sugarland and shit. It makes me want to die, or kill.
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post #9 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:39pm
Every once in awhile some dumb cunt will come up and tell me that I look like the lead singer(if you want to call what he does singing) of Rascal Flatts. It pretty much makes me want to stick my head in an oven. Other than the fact we both have blonde hair I bear zero resemblance. Their music is fucking terrible, but agreeing with an earlier comment they are Mozart compared to Big n Rich. That shit literally makes me want to beat people to death.

If any of you want to check out a newer country singer that is decent, give Jamey Johnson a listen. He has a Waylon Jennings classic country sound if you can dig it.
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post #10 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swearengen View Post
Every once in awhile some dumb cunt will come up and tell me that I look like the lead singer(if you want to call what he does singing) of Rascal Flatts.
Lead singer? I thought Rascal Flatts was some dudes name. I've been "By the way, which one's Pink"ed.
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post #11 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:49pm
I like them. I like them a lot. I think they are infinitely more talented than a lot of hack bands out there.
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post #12 of 38
7/24/09 at 6:57pm
My wife picked one of their songs as our wedding song. So...... Yeah there is that.
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post #13 of 38
7/24/09 at 7:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swearengen View Post
If any of you want to check out a newer country singer that is decent, give Jamey Johnson a listen. He has a Waylon Jennings classic country sound if you can dig it.
This is actually the first newly released country album I have purchased since I was in Jr. High. I love this album.

Edit to add: I should probably mention I'm talking about his most recent album.
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post #14 of 38
7/24/09 at 9:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
Has there ever been a group less deserving of survival?
Anakin's Dad hits on two of the country groups who are probably bigger offenders than Rascal Flatts (Little Big Town and Big and Rich). The third horseman in that triumvirate would be Lady Antebellum.

If you want to step outside country, the worst offender ever is Nickelback, but we've had that discussion on the boards before.
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post #15 of 38
7/24/09 at 9:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBaseNick View Post
My wife picked one of their songs as our wedding song. So...... Yeah there is that.
Was it the one about God blessing a broken road? If so, it's pretty much state law this song be played at all weddings here.
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post #16 of 38
7/25/09 at 1:34am
Their name makes me think of mud flaps for trucks. Do they sell Rascal Flatts mud flaps? They should. I also think they're an alias for a Stephen King villain.

They're pretty awful.
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post #17 of 38
7/25/09 at 3:24am
The tone and pitch of the lead singers voice remind me of the first(and last) time a girl tried to stick her finger in my asshole.
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post #18 of 38
7/25/09 at 6:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swearengen View Post
The tone and pitch of the lead singers voice remind me of the first(and last) time a girl tried to stick her finger in my asshole.
That's not necessarily a bad thing.
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post #19 of 38
7/26/09 at 2:06am
They're chubby Christian fluff.

They're a group for underdeveloped "real American" folk who support Sarah Palin, watch the O' Reily Factor, and talk about the latest Christian fiction over barbeques.
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post #20 of 38
7/26/09 at 4:06am
I think the official description of Rascal Flatts in the Encyclopedia of Everything reads "Mostly Harmless." They're completely worthless but not aggressively bad. It's not like they dominate the charts or anything. I can't muster up any hate for them because they're so barely there I'm not entirely sure they actually exist.
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post #21 of 38
7/26/09 at 11:17am
Ehh, they're no Scallywag Foothills. Even Mischievous Loafers is better.

I'd say they're about as terrible as Malcontent Fish Farmer Joe.
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post #22 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:16pm
I don't get the hate for this band at all when it could be directed to godawful shit like Fall Out Boy, Nickelback, Good Charlotte, etc. etc.

It almost comes off as "John Mayer hate"; hate for a particular artist because of one song without listening to the majority of their catalog.
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post #23 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyeball Kid View Post
Ehh, they're no Scallywag Foothills. Even Mischievous Loafers is better.

I'd say they're about as terrible as Malcontent Fish Farmer Joe.
I think I love you.
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post #24 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by C.S. Lewis Jr. View Post
They're chubby Christian fluff.

They're a group for underdeveloped "real American" folk who support Sarah Palin, watch the O' Reily Factor, and talk about the latest Christian fiction over barbeques.
As an American who finds Sarah Palin pretty awful, has seen an entire episode of The O'Reilly Factor maybe once, whose only exposure to "Christian" literature is the Narnia series, and enjoys some of Rascal Flatts' work, get bent.

And say what you will about their music, their lead singer is fucking talented. I despise all that John Tesh stands for, but I could never say he was a shitty pianist.
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post #25 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:32pm
I love when the boards go all North Vs. South.
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post #26 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pompoussory Estoppel View Post
I don't get the hate for this band at all when it could be directed to godawful shit like Fall Out Boy, Nickelback, Good Charlotte, etc. etc.

It almost comes off as "John Mayer hate"; hate for a particular artist because of one song without listening to the majority of their catalog.
There isn't a limited amount of hate sent towards this group, you know. There's plenty to go around.
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post #27 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
I love when the boards go all North Vs. South.
...just sayin'...
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post #28 of 38
7/27/09 at 1:49pm
The second "t" in Flatts pisses me off almost as much as their shitty songs.

I learned from the internet that Rascal Flattts' current single, "Here Comes Goodbye," was co-written by Chris Sligh. Sligh, a former American Idol finalist, was expelled from Bob Jones University for attending a 4Him concert.
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post #29 of 38
7/27/09 at 2:08pm
Gotta say, I like a handful of Rascal Flatts songs. But this coming from someone who likes a handful of Creed songs too. I'm going to the special hell. I just know it.
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post #30 of 38
7/27/09 at 2:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by C.S. Lewis Jr. View Post
They're chubby Christian fluff.

They're a group for underdeveloped "real American" folk who support Sarah Palin, watch the O' Reily Factor, and talk about the latest Christian fiction over barbeques.
Gotta second that this is an oversimplified generalization. The lead guitarist married the 2005 Playmate of the Year and has done photo shoots of her for Playboy. He took his success and ran with it! Not something that the people you're mentioning generally approve of.

They may be bland crap, but they're not Christian bland crap.

EDIT to add: I have to stop this before I'm labeled a Rascal Flatts apologist.
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post #31 of 38
7/27/09 at 3:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post

They may be bland crap, but they're not Christian bland crap.
In an effort to temper my support of some of their work, I will say that I am deeply disturbed by the amount of hair care product at work on the scalps of these three alleged heterosexuals. It's like the Fortress of Solitude was dyed blond and brown...
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post #32 of 38
7/27/09 at 3:22pm
Egads, this thread!!!

Remember when geeks had the best taste?

Anakin, you're like a walking, breathing southern stereotype.

Pompouss, you proudly declared Hootie & the Blowfish as your favorite band of all time. So maybe music isn't your thing. Stick to arguing tired libertarian positions in the political forum.

Grouchy!
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post #33 of 38
7/27/09 at 5:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis View Post
Egads, this thread!!!

Remember when geeks had the best taste?

Anakin, you're like a walking, breathing southern stereotype.

Pompouss, you proudly declared Hootie & the Blowfish as your favorite band of all time. So maybe music isn't your thing. Stick to arguing tired libertarian positions in the political forum.

Grouchy!

Oh, get a life.
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post #34 of 38
7/27/09 at 8:00pm
Actually, I'm pretty sure one or two of the guys started out in a Christian pop group, so....

And this is not North vs. South. I live in Nashville and I hate everything they spew out of their fat heads. These douches are from Ohio, by the way.
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post #35 of 38
7/28/09 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis View Post
Anakin, you're like a walking, breathing southern stereotype.
Listening to country music makes you a southern stereotype? It's that simple?
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post #36 of 38
7/29/09 at 12:34am
The lead singer of this band has a great voice? In which parallel dimension?

And this is coming from a guy who likes Dave Matthews' voice.
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post #37 of 38
7/29/09 at 4:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post
Listening to country music makes you a southern stereotype? It's that simple?
We're busy people. Chop chop.
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post #38 of 38
8/10/09 at 12:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
The second "t" in Flatts pisses me off almost as much as their shitty songs.
Could be worse...

they could have spelled it 'flattz'.
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