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| This morning I received an email with a link to an article about a new comic book that comes out on August 5th. The article goes on to state that this comic has “shattered” a sales record and has already sold over 10,000 copies. No, the book doesn’t feature Batman or Spider-Man and it wasn’t written by Neil Gaimen, Grant Morrison or Brian Michael Bendis. Instead it was written by Tyrese Gibson and the book is titled Mayhem. As an aspiring comic book writer myself, I became intrigued with the success of this book and I wanted to know “How did he do it?” Luckily for you, I have compiled a list of 5 key elements all aspiring comic writers must follow if they want to emulate this success and break into the comic book biz. Hopefully this list can help others who have spent years and years writing comic books, only to find little or no success. Without further ado, I present to you, in no particular order and at no charge, 5 steps to follow if you want to become a successful comic book writer in 2009: 1. Land a Role in a Summer Blockbuster I think this is a key element that any wannabe comic writer must accomplish. It doesn’t matter if the film is good or not, but it must be a blockbuster. If it’s a blockbuster, you’ll be asked to go on various television shows to give interviews about the film. While giving these interviews, make sure to mention you have a comic book coming out soon. If you can, bring a couple of sequential pages with you so you can show them to the audience. Bingo, you have just been seen by hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions, plugging your comic book. Super Cool Bonus Tip: Time the release of your comic book to coincide with the summer blockbuster you’ll be starring in. This will only help in generating sales and interest. 2. Be Good Looking (Prior Modeling Work is a Plus) By good looking, I mean really, really good looking. In fact, prior modeling experience should be somewhere on your resume if you want to go straight to the comic big leagues. Let’s face it. This is the age of the internet and gone are the days where your readers don’t see what you look like. Shave the beard, loose some weight and cut your hair. Dress well and when you can, show off your abs! Super Cool Bonus Tip: If possible, make sure your best pictures are easily accessible to potential fans. Pictures like you not wearing a shirt while on a beach or where you’re with another hot model and it looks like you two want to fuck the shit out of each other work best. This will allow you to sell your comic to young girls who won’t even read the book, but instead just want to rub up against it. 3. Have a Hit Single First you need to land on a label and get a recording deal. Call up Warner Brothers or Sony and ask if they’ll sign you. If they do, you’re good to now collaborate with an artist like Snoop Dogg or Ludacris. If you really want to stay current, call up Justin Timberlake and ask him to do the harmonies and dance in your music video. Once you do all of these things, release the album (a picture of you on the cover with your bare chest is highly recommended. see step 2) and move units. Super Cool Bonus Tip: Write a song about love and how you’re a real sensitive guy who’s been hurt and who is afraid to love again. This will again bring in the young girl audience, who normally don’t read comics, but who will now drip for your sensitivity. 4. Originality is Overrated and Should be Tossed Aside If you’re writing a comic book that doesn’t include either a superhero, a vigilante or zombies, you’re going to fail. Plain and simple. Additionally the superhero or vigilante should be conflicted with who they are and constantly debating with themselves about if what they are doing is the right thing. Super Cool Bonus Tip: Write in a love interest. Have the woman be someone from either their past or someone they can’t reveal their true identity to. Additionally they should have giant tits that are disproportionate to their bodies. 5. Call or Meet Up with Already Established Comic Pros Remember when I said this list wasn’t in any particular order? I kind of lied. This step will be a lot easier to accomplish if you have already accomplished steps 1, 2 or 3. Regardless though, you should call Todd McFarlane or set up a meeting with Jim Lee or Avi Arad and ask them for guidance. Getting insight from the pros will increase your comic writing cred and will also allow you to gain information on what works and what doesn’t. Super Cool Bonus Tip: If you can, while on the phone with any of these pros, hit them up about possibly doing some cover art for you. You’ll now have someone who’s already established in the industry bringing in more sales and fans. Straight up gusto. There you have it. 5 steps to becoming a successful comic book writer. Let’s recap: Land a role in a summer blockbuster. Be really good looking. Put out a hit single. Toss out any and all thoughts of originality and lastly call up some comic book veterans. If you do these things, I personally guarantee that your comic book will move units. I guarantee it. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a busy day ahead of me. I’ve got a casting call at 9:00, personal training at 11:00 and vocal lessons at 1:00. After all of that I’ll focus on writing my comic book about a superhero vigilante who also happens to be a zombie. I call it Chaos! |
The worst part? To see each and every comic writer and artist sucking up to him just because he's an actor. Seriously, check the preview pages! This would never be approved without the Tyrese connection!
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=3148
