YOU: A tale of_____ starring_____, directed by_____ - Page 2

I reckon my film would be the back and forthing my missus and I went through leading up to us getting together back at the beginning of the decade. It'd be kind of touching and sweet, but with lots of 'will they/won't they" angsting and back and forthing with dashes of humour and some funny best friend side characters. I'd have to be played by either a hairier John Cusack or a younger Zach Galifinakis and either Richard Linklater or Cameron Crowe would direct. It'd have to be called something like "Beer and Coffee" or something along those lines.

My film will have a side plot involving pagans (as I know some) however they will all be potrayed as they were in Dragnet.

Damn Ken, just for a second my sleep deprived eye stalks read that your film was going to have pigeons acting like they're in Dragnet, and I was already on the phone to my bank manager to get financing for you when I realised what you'd really written. And that I'm banned from my bank.

Pigeons acting like they are in Dragnet you say? Your right I smell a hollywood blockbuster! All we need now are some celebrity voices and fart jokes and we are onto a winner

This is fascinating...

Okay. Here's how mine would work. I have two options.

Option 1 - Erix Life. A raw, bittersweet dramedy about a guy struggling to be a renaissance man, while dealing with a divorce and falling for a friend's girl. It would be told in a very matter-of-fact style. In the end, I wouldn't get the girl because I don't have the balls to ask her out. The last scene is me and her current boyfriend having a beer and I confess that I'm in love with his ex. He says something like: "Why didn't you ever ask her out, man? I'd rather she end up with you than that fucking Data Processor from Entel."

The ideal director for this would be Cassavettes. Since he's dead - and there will never be another - I could go for David Gordon Green.

As for who would play me? I can't play myself... Perhaps Luke Wilson (whom I've been told I look like when I have hair). Or, fuck it, cast an unknown and make him a star.

Option 2 - The Concert Of Dissonance. Basically, the same story. Except that I become Erika and am played by Thora Birch. Struggling to have some semblance of success in a goth/punk band, while falling in love with her friend's husband. The difference is that Erika actually does have the affair and the whole thing is a little darker. Because the husband turns out to be a douchebag and dumps both of us.

I could direct this one.

But I won't.

I expected more way more Waters than Scorsese in this thread. Maybe even Larry Clark.

UGUYS.

Going back and reading mine it sounds as depressing as hell. I had no intention of that. I meant it to have a lot of subtle humor and (dare I say it) quirk (but not for the sake of quirk) humor. That's why I picked Alexander Payne, but I could also say perhaps Wes Anderson? My tale is a lot funnier that the depressing description reads.

Massive re-writes and reshoots. What was once a happy go lucky romantic comedy is now a dark erotic thriller.

My current life as a film is one that acts as a sequel to the 80s Savage Steve Holland films (BETTER OFF DEAD, ONE CRAZY SUMMER) and a prequel to AMERICAN SPLENDOR. With an OFFICE SPACE/SCRUBS tone. Directed by Joe Dante. And starring Michael J. Fox with a shaved head.

Darkmite, that sounds glorious!

Everyone's movie would star either Philip Seymour Hoffman or Jackie Earle Haley and be directed by Todd Solondz.

They pretty much made the story of my early life as a sit-com here in Canada. It's called Corner Gas and it stars this guy, Brent Butt:



who pretty much looks like me and shares a similar sense of humour. In a weird twist, I worked on season three of CG as a foley walker.

A heavy drama with some dark comedy thrown in. Seth Rogen with an extra 4 inches of height and 50 pounds. It'd be his first really serious role. Lovable, but troubled. Gus Van Sant directing in the style of Good Will Hunting.