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Steven Seagal: Lawman on A&E

post #1 of 174
Thread Starter 
Oh, you've got to be shittin' me.

You've GOT to be shittin' me.
post #2 of 174
It's true!!!!

Motherfucking SOLD!
post #3 of 174
Oh thats fucking great. So really? Really? Between films he would actually go out and bust criminals? Now im sure thats bullshit but imagine if it was true? I mean your imagine getting busted by this bloated weirdo who runs like a girl who has in the past pretended to bu italian and native american.
post #4 of 174
post #5 of 174
By the way, thanks for posting this. I thought the show had been cancelled or something. And in case someone from A&E is reading, the person who included "it's not a job, it's an ADVENTURE!" should get a raise.
post #6 of 174
This is my Parish. Suburbs of New Orleans. And the same Parish was featured on Dave Attell's Insomniac when he was here in New Orleans. On that ep they were shooting nutria on the canals (nutria are basically swamp rats).
post #7 of 174
MUST see TV.
post #8 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey Moore View Post
This is my Parish. Suburbs of New Orleans. And the same Parish was featured on Dave Attell's Insomniac when he was here in New Orleans. On that ep they were shooting nutria on the canals (nutria are basically swamp rats).
I case you have a gun would you mind shooting Seagal in the head the next time you run across a shoot? Save your city and the rest of the world the embarrassment.
post #9 of 174
I actually had a run in with him a few years ago when he was doing a "casting call." He's a bit of an ass to put it mildly. Although his bodyguard was pretty cool and funny.

And sorry, no gun.

They called me to work on this a couple of times and both times I refused. First off, working on reality tv sucks. Second, one encounter with Seagal was enough for me.
post #10 of 174
My company actually works on that show. It was all I could do not to post about it months ago.
post #11 of 174
It's like The Fall Guy, only he's a doughy fallen action hero instead of a stunt man, and a fake cop instead of a bounty hunter.

I can't wait.
post #12 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
It's like The Fall Guy, only he's a doughy fallen action hero instead of a stunt man, and a fake cop instead of a bounty hunter.

I can't wait.
And he didn't have sex with Rock Hudson!


Sorry, that's always my first thought whenever Lee Majors is brought up.
post #13 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey Moore View Post
I actually had a run in with him a few years ago when he was doing a "casting call." He's a bit of an ass to put it mildly. Although his bodyguard was pretty cool and funny.

And sorry, no gun.

They called me to work on this a couple of times and both times I refused. First off, working on reality tv sucks. Second, one encounter with Seagal was enough for me.
Awesome. You should have reminded him of his failed attempts at movies, energy drink and music.

And I really hope he calls a convict "cupcake".
post #14 of 174
I want to see him yell "I AM THE LAW!" while eating some Chicken from KFC at the same time.
post #15 of 174
I want to see some dealer face down on the ground with a cop's knee on the back of his neck, smiling and going "Hey! I know you!"

I want to see whiteman jive being met by the horrified stares of people displaced by Hurricane Katrina

I want to see street walkers being checked out from the passenger side

I want to see him try and rehabilitate the people they catch like fellow A&E superstar Dog the Bounty Hunter

I also kind wanna see him rescue a cat from a tree
post #16 of 174
"You wanna cut my heart out? Come and cut my heart out!"

Naive question here: he basically took an honorary badge and actually made arrests? How did this work?
post #17 of 174
Cardiac arrests lol
post #18 of 174
I wonder if he went to the Blood Bank?
post #19 of 174
It's almost too good to be true...December can't get here soon enough.

And yeah, him getting a cat out of a tree would be awesome.
post #20 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey Moore View Post
the same Parish was featured on Dave Attell's Insomniac when he was here in New Orleans. On that ep they were shooting nutria on the canals (nutria are basically swamp rats).
Realizing I had this old episode on tape, I decided to watch it again in preparation for Lawman.

Insomniac was so great. I like Bourdain, but Attell's Hudson impersonation when he's getting the nutria ("Come on! Oh you want some too?") proves he's the best travelogue host ever.

Also- "just in case you were wondering, a LOT of animals were hurt during the making of this show!" (walks away, cackling)
post #21 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple_72 View Post
Realizing I had this old episode on tape, I decided to watch it again in preparation for Lawman.

Insomniac was so great. I like Bourdain, but Attell's Hudson impersonation when he's getting the nutria ("Come on! Oh you want some too?") proves he's the best travelogue host ever.

Also- "just in case you were wondering, a LOT of animals were hurt during the making of this show!" (walks away, cackling)
I loved the episode where he sees the Godzilla statue, and is disappointed.
post #22 of 174
The STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN site is up!

Several Clips as well.
post #23 of 174
I have to give Bourdain props though for his New Orleans episode. First, he sat down and broke bread with Emeril Lagasse which was a big thing. Second, and most important, was the way he ended the episode: after the credits there was Bourdain in front of a local po-boy shop and he says, "I am here. Why aren't you?" Then the screen went black. Just a nice message there.

Lawman. Fuck. Hopefully Treme will wash the stink out that Lawman brings with it.
post #24 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix natalya View Post
The STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN site is up!

Several Clips as well.
Fuck yeah!

I hope he gets a chance to do that girly run of his.
post #25 of 174
Special advance online screening of the premiere episode! Tonight, 8pm ET/5pm pacific.

http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-la...nce-screening/
post #26 of 174
Woot!
post #27 of 174
Personally speaking though, I got restless waiting for the show and so started inventing my own episodes in my mind. A sample:

"Now I know yall is good people, so if any yall see dose bad men we bin lookin fuh, yall best come hollah. Ahma be down da cowdnah gettin me a shrimp po-boy with a cup a jambalaya and de red beans n rice. Lawd a mercy."

"Okay. Thanks for keeping our streets safe, Mr Aiello."
post #28 of 174
Outstanding. I'm tuning in for sure.
post #29 of 174
I'll bet he became a lawman to try and score free doughnuts.
post #30 of 174
It was hilarious how they tried to make it seem like he has these super-hyped observational skills. "See how he moved his hands? He's gonna run." Yeah, run for a donut stand and you're gonna lumber after him, Steve.
post #31 of 174
Seagal's handling of the drunk was great. This is going to be a reality show to keep an eye on for comedy gold. Especially since Seagal is the PO-lice!
post #32 of 174
Please let there be a criminal they're constantly looking for named "Richie". Just so I can hear Seagal yell, "ANYBODY SEEN RICHIE? HUH?" Can't wait for this to start.
post #33 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by tcjsavannah View Post
It was hilarious how they tried to make it seem like he has these super-hyped observational skills. "See how he moved his hands? He's gonna run."
"A cock of the head, a flick of the wrist... they all tell me something."

So much LOL. My favourite bit was when he was helping that guy at the shooting range:

"The zen masters didn't pull the arrow. They PUSHED it."

(cut to some guy blinking in sheer WTF disbelief)


I knew this show wouldn't let me down. Can't wait to see what other tense situations he finds himself in down in THE JECTS (that's short for project housing!)
post #34 of 174
Oh, and I can't forget

"GO RIGHT! GO RIGHT!"

"Steven, let me drive."

"Just telling you where the holes are."
post #35 of 174
This could end up being a Borat/Bruno, where Steven is punking people to get a reaction.

That would be a real shame though.
post #36 of 174
Tonight, he comes.
post #37 of 174
Tempting, but I'm going to hold out for Michael Dudikoff: Janitor or Billy Drago: Organ Seller.
post #38 of 174
I don't normally watch these types of things, but I'm probably going to tune in for this.
post #39 of 174
I really wish I hadn't signed the non-disclosure agreement. It's killing me not being able to talk about it with you all.

Just watch it. You won't be disappointed.
post #40 of 174
As I just watched the man himself say on The Today Show: SHO NUFF
post #41 of 174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
Tempting, but I'm going to hold out for Michael Dudikoff: Janitor or Billy Drago: Organ Seller.

www.imdb.com/title/tt1489024/

www.imdb.com/title/tt1474300/

www.imdb.com/title/tt0369121/
post #42 of 174
Getting closer...
post #43 of 174
Okay- so I gave in.

Within the first four minutes we learn that Seagal apparently has his own form of Spider Sense, from studying martial arts. Sensei sense, I guess.
post #44 of 174
Thread Starter 
I like how Seagal is able to work Zen & his martial arts training into any conversation.
post #45 of 174
Seagal can shoot but I just couldn't finish the ep. So stupid.
post #46 of 174
Seagal is not shooting. The gun is shooting. Seagal is becoming the gun.
post #47 of 174
Mesmerizing.
post #48 of 174
"You got the Asian kind of Zen lesson..."

As opposed to the Serbo-Croatian kind, Steve-o?

This show is the best.
post #49 of 174
I will have to watch this, won't I? Dammit and I managed to stay away from stupid reality TV so far.
post #50 of 174
Loved how he was able to slip in and out of the accent so effortlessly.

Loved his Spider Sense.

Loved that he would push other deputies out of the way to get to the perp.

This show is greatness.
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