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Steven Seagal: Lawman on A&E - Page 3

post #101 of 174
12/9/09 at 3:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Most of them require years/decades of practice to become effective.

That gun dodge disarm technique was originally designed to disarm someone holding a knife or a sword.
Not only that, but 90% of them aren't that effective in a real situation. If they were, you'd see them in MMA fight.
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post #102 of 174
12/9/09 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Not only that, but 90% of them aren't that effective in a real situation. If they were, you'd see them in MMA fight.
Jesus, they're letting people use guns in MMA fights now? I need to start watching that again.
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post #103 of 174
12/9/09 at 5:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan "Nordling" Cerny View Post
Thanks for this, a great read.

New episodes tonight! Right?
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post #104 of 174
12/9/09 at 9:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Not only that, but 90% of them aren't that effective in a real situation.
I got that impression as well. That Gun Dodge move looks iffy as I doubt a newbie can shift himself fast enough to trap that gun.
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post #105 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:10am
Can't believe he trusts those dogs on that big white couch.
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post #106 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:13am
Ah hope thu dog didn't cut it's feet!
The Perfect "At home with Seagal's attack dogs" segue!
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post #107 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:16am
This officer Eric don't fuck around. He knows the Harris family. Fuckin' Michael trying to pass himself off as Lance.
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post #108 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:16am
There's that magical ebonics accent that Sensei can turn on and off at will!

AWWWW CAN YEH LEND ME FIE DOLLAZ??

"Mah aunty watches yo moviez"

But you don't?

"Ah don't watch them"

*sad seagal face*
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post #109 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:18am
He looked devastated.
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post #110 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:20am
"Anything Cuz?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hans Gruber's EYE CONDITION! View Post
"Mah aunty watches yo moviez"

But you don't?

"Ah don't watch them"

*sad seagal face*
I felt genuinely bad for him.
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post #111 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:20am
I'm sure these seasoned cops are just loving part-time Seagal barking out driving directions!

"We need to coordinate directional assistance! Call air one!"
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post #112 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:26am
Seagal hyperventilates every time the suv goes faster than 20 mph!

CLEAR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol the shot of Seagal telling some guy to "call headquarters" looked so staged. Everyone just ignores him!
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post #113 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:30am
Safe to assume the first assistant dog trainer was killed.
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post #114 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:30am
I loved the clearly scripted moment in the SUV after they left the old ladies house! They were summing up the events like a very special episode of Full House.

Seagal: "We thought it was a big ol' guard dog but it was just a little puppy."

Fortunato: "Cute little puppy..."

Seagal: "Cute little babe..."

Its a good fit with the subplot of Seagal training his dogs to be killers.

Assistant trainer: "Hey what are you doing here with these dogs?!?"

Seagal: "Get outta here."
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post #115 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:30am
Was that an original Seagal song at the end.

WE CHASIN THU BAD GUYZ!
OHHHHHHHH WE CHASIN THU BAD GUYZ!
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post #116 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:33am
"Lawd have mercy."

Sgt. Matthews is stealing catchphrases.
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post #117 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:36am
deez little kids dey fast, boy....

*blank look from the mother
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post #118 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:38am
Hey boy I think you'll be alright!
-Seagal to kid wearing bizarre sci-fi oxygen mask who clearly will not be alright

The hospital scene was heartwarming. When Seagal is painting with the children, he is letting his light and jovial side come out, like how the priest told Hatcher to in the beginning of Marked for Death.
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post #119 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:39am
What the hell did seagal magically pull from that kid's pants?
An old pirate gun?
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post #120 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:39am
"Unfortunately me and my team can't fight disease."
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post #121 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:41am
Seagal handed out all these big boxes of extravagant gifts, like a lego set and video games, and then to one child he handed what looked like a Mini DV tape case with a bow on it.

WOW THANKS!!!
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post #122 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:48am
Band rehearsal. YES!!!
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post #123 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:49am
His reaction to meeting a bunch of sick kids is writing a song called THE LOVE DOCTOR?
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post #124 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:50am
Seagal and his elite team need to put an end to A&E's THE JACKSONS show! I've had enough of these commercials. Those scumbags crying their crocodile tears!
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post #125 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:52am
People will never know how it feels to lose Michael Jackson.....as a brother....

????????????
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post #126 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:53am
Without this show... I would never know the...... pleasure of money!!!! ThankyouA&E!!!!
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post #127 of 174
12/10/09 at 12:59am
The two episodes tonight were even more fantastic than the first two. Sgt. Matthews has emerged as my favorite part of the show, besides Seagal of course. He is the real life version of Clemmons from Crime Story. He has an attitude as well! Like when one team member offered his hand to shake and Matthews just passed him!

"What's wrong, you tired?"

Matthews: "Mah BODY'S tired!"
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post #128 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:01am
WOOOOOOOOOOOO man you just ruined yo life.
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post #129 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:01am
Matthews is totally the breakout character, I mean cop. Spin-off ahoy!
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post #130 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:12am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
Can't believe he trusts those dogs on that big white couch.
The uncivilized attack dog schtick is just for the cameras. I mean, Seagal gives these dogs bottled water. They probably wear monocles, too.
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post #131 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:27am
Sgt. Matthews has some lovely fingernails.

Howard Stern is a fan.
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post #132 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:08pm
Funniest part from last night was the canine/canine/human triple team beat down on the dog trainer. The dogs had already got the guy down, but no, additional kicks and slaps from a very large man were clearly necessary!

And after watching more of the Crime Sense tingling parts it's clear that someone behind the scenes is indeed taking the piss. To be honest I was a little disappointed that with all those dogs around they didn't take the opportunity to add to his superpower portfolio with some badass Dr Dolittle shit (thinking out loud, perhaps he uses these special abilities to calm down a scared and hungry stray dog after it bites a chunk out of Special Sgt Fat Officer #3 or whatever the fuck those other guys are called)

PS. "you got yo hol life hedda you, podnah!"
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post #133 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:12pm
His on/off southern accent and slang talk is starting to become more funny than his Seagal Sense.
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post #134 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:26pm
Another great bit was the Big Emotional Moment when the chubby sick kid in the germ free section puts his hand on the glass as if yearning for some semblance of human connection, but then he opens the door to get a proper handshake and nobody wants to touch him and you can hear somebody shouting "no, close the door".

It's the new "Steven, let me drive"
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post #135 of 174
12/10/09 at 1:29pm
My favorite part of the show is the blank looks Seagal gets when he uses his Louisiana accent.

"Don' whup on im too bad, mama."
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post #136 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:16am
That Area 51 lightgun training scenario is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life!

John Fortunato (to television screen): "Put your hands up..."

Was SeagalSense really necessary for the training simulation? It doesn't take Sensei's supernatural powers to tell the guy was going for his gun! He was reaching into his pants extremely slowly!
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post #137 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:20am
*perp slowly turns around w/ gun tucked in pants*

HE'S GOT A GUN!
LETHAL HIT!

but didn't the perp fire off a bunch of rounds?
I guess his lethal hits were edited out!

And I like how the dangerous criminals Seagal encounters always make things extremely easy for him.

Hang on man ah'm coming out
AH GOT A PISTOL IN HEA!
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post #138 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:22am
*criminals casually re-enter car and speed off*

Seagal: See, dat wuz a no-shoot scenario!

w-what why? They got away, good job!
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post #139 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:31am
This first episode of the evening was great! More straight-talk to the perps from Sgt. Matthews, and Seagal actually got to tackle someone. I think this is the first time! Usually he just hovers over the cops shouting as the others take down the suspect. I thought the editing was funny when Fortunato got "hurt". Yeah right! He clearly just tripped and fell! OOH... OOO I THINK HE GOT MY KIDNEY.... OW...
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post #140 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:40am
Celeb steve gets all the perks! He was just invited to a fancy restaurant called the olive garden!
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post #141 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:44am
You can tell Steven gets a big kick out of stepping out of the car and having the poor people surround him. He is like a god to them!
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post #142 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:47am
Look at Steven showing off his bilingual capabilities.
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post #143 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:50am
Seagal and Harry Lee had a true father/son relationship. Want proof?

*pictures of a miserable seagal standing next to a confused harry lee*
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post #144 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:55am
We all died a little when Harry Lee passed.
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post #145 of 174
12/17/09 at 1:00am
Seagal sheds tears at the swearing-in of the new head sheriff! I think this could have potential, look at the guy, he's a weasel! He could very well be a real life stupid police chief that could give Seagal and co. grief.
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post #146 of 174
12/17/09 at 1:05am
I don't trust this new Sheriff Newell Normand. I bet he had Harry Lee killed.
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post #147 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:13pm
He used Seagal Sense on the freaking video game...so awesome. They guy that kept going "Man...that's Steven Seagal" was hilarious.

And was it just me or did they ratchet up the language in these two episodes.
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post #148 of 174
12/17/09 at 12:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul755 View Post
They guy that kept going "Man...that's Steven Seagal" was hilarious.
Yeah, that was the scene I was hoping for ever since the project was announced- guy momentarily forgets about his problems with law because he's STARSTRUCK. So funny!

Also funny: filming him standing next to a big sign that says "SHOOT HOUSE FATS" (almost like they're trying to subliminally suggest a new blues name for him)
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post #149 of 174
12/17/09 at 1:00pm
PS SPOILER FOR NEXT WEEK

I heard for the special Christmas episode they go after a white dude
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post #150 of 174
12/17/09 at 1:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by A-Pathetic View Post
Jesus, they're letting people use guns in MMA fights now? I need to start watching that again.
I was talking about the Chin-Na/Aikido grappling techniques he was showing of. And the ones with a gun? Even more retarded.

I love this show.
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