Steven Seagal: Lawman on A&E - Page 4

After John Fortunato fell down, as he and Seagal were walking away, Seagal promised to give him "some good medicine". We never got to see what he was talking about! Did he take Fortunato home and introduce him to the acupuncture/incense thing from Hard to Kill?

I don't have A&E so I buckled down and so I shelled out for the Steven Seagal Lawman Limited Edition Collector's Set from A&E.

I'm watching it now, so I can't say much about the episodes yet, but the packaging is pretty sweet.

The vest is about 10 inch tall, so while I don't have a child, I imagine that it would fit on a baby, if you wanted to try it out. Just sayin'



It's a three disc set:

Disc 1: Episode 1 - The Way of the Gun and Episode 4 - The Deadly Hand
Disc 2: Mojo Priest - His music CD. I haven't listened to much of it yet, but as Vern said in Seagalogy, he's not untalented.
Disc 3: Stephen Seagal The Path Beyond Thought - I have never heard of this before, but it's described as a journey where he "travel to Japan and back as Steven establishes his dojo in Osaka, teaches Aikido and develops balance between the physical and spiritual self through martial arts." So I'm pretty excited about that.



All in all, it's not bad. Sixty bucks plus shipping, but I had a free shipping coupon so it was decent for the set. For the show, it does seem a little hilarious that his Seagal Vision tends to focus on black people. But, I don't think that he's racist.

You could probably create a damn fine drinking game about how many times Seagal mentions his martial arts background, or about finding holes.

I think the ultimate Lawman drinking game would be to take a shot every time you hear a classic colloquialism, e.g.

"Oh Lawd ha mercy!"

"OOOHWEEE it's hotter than Georgie asphalt out heah!"

"don't you piss on mah leg and tell me it's rainin, boh!"

"good whiskey make jackrabbit slap da bear!"

etc

Rose bushes? Big spender.

Man, the spanish language gets butchered by the guys. Surprisingly, Seagal is the best speaker. He really has great pronunciation.
The rest? My god.

I don't know if you know this or not, Tati, but Steven Segal is a martial artist. And when you learn martial arts, your skills of perception and learning are elevated to superhuman abilities. It's impossible for Steven Segal to NOT speak Spanish well. Or shoot a gun, or bust a perp, or be bloated, or fake a cajun accent.

Okay, that last one isn't true. He has the worst fake Cajun accent since Justin Wilson.

That being said, I LOVE this show. I love it both ironically and unironically. In an ironic sense, it's like watching an episode of Cops where the officer they follow around is crazier than a soup sandwich.

In an unironic way, Segal does seem to care about the people of Jefferson Parish. The stuff at the hospital with the kids made me all weepy. It's great that he can use his fading star to bring some light into those kids' lives.

Bad weave day for Steve!
Suddenly he's wearing his HALF PAST DEAD do-rag.

And there was really obvious dubbed in
"HEY THAT'S STEVEN SEAGAL!" while Steve was crusing down the streets of Jefferson Parish.

Moo-moo/gigantic scarf alert!

I've watched one whole episode and half of another. Reading this thread was infitely funnier and more entertaining than the real show.

"Can you beat Sacky Chan?"

This one was the best yet.

That scarf was rediclious...yet awesome. Loved the drunk guy that thought Seagal could beat up Sacky Chan and VanDamm but not Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris.

Its a shame that Mad TV got canceled, because Will Sasso would have had a field day with this show.

I've seen that guy's impression, it's awful.

I loved the Glimmer Man/Chinese medicine shoutout last episode. Hope Creepy Acupuncturist will be a recurring character, very Ric Young.

The way they tried to run and hop fences to catch that white shirt guy, hilarious. They all lost their breath half a block into the chase.

It will never be a shame that MADTV got canned.

Kind of a boring episode overall, but it did have one of the funniest Lawman bits ever: when he's sitting down and they're all having a very serious talk, and he's listening without sunglasses, it cuts away then cuts back to him and suddenly for no good reason he's got those stupidass sunglasses on, then it cuts away and goes back to him and the glasses are off again. All within about 12 seconds. I don't know if it was deliberately edited that way for comic effect, but it came across like he had completely tuned out this important discussion about the nature of addiction to focus on a crucial "should I/shouldn't I go with the John Lennons?" dilemma.

I enjoyed the other cops ribbing him about Van Damme and his reaction to it. Raw nerve ahoy!

"No...it would be like squashing an ant."

Pretty big talk you got there, eh Sensei.

Fascinating look into his filmmaking process last night, wouldn't be surprised if he gets a call from Christopher Guest soon.

It was the season, and maybe series, finale. In the words of the immortal Col. John Fortunado, "We gonna miss ya, big dog."

Just saw an advert while Jaws 3 was playing on local tv.


Cannot. wait. for. this. show.

You've just missed Season 1.

But a 2nd Season of 13 Episodes has just been announced.

Sixteen. Season 1 was thirteen.

Season 2 will have good old Mardi Gras episodes.

Anyway, a Jefferson Parish cop on Seagal:

Is Season 2 already done? I remember them showing a few episodes, but it seems to have already disappeared.

There were about 7 or 8 episodes for season two, then it went away. Maybe forever. I think they replaced it with that Louis Theroux/Weird Weekends rip with Bob Saget.

[/Wiggum]