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Steven Seagal: Lawman on A&E - Page 4

post #151 of 174
After John Fortunato fell down, as he and Seagal were walking away, Seagal promised to give him "some good medicine". We never got to see what he was talking about! Did he take Fortunato home and introduce him to the acupuncture/incense thing from Hard to Kill?
post #152 of 174
I don't have A&E so I buckled down and so I shelled out for the Steven Seagal Lawman Limited Edition Collector's Set from A&E.

I'm watching it now, so I can't say much about the episodes yet, but the packaging is pretty sweet.

The vest is about 10 inch tall, so while I don't have a child, I imagine that it would fit on a baby, if you wanted to try it out. Just sayin'

It's a three disc set:

Disc 1: Episode 1 - The Way of the Gun and Episode 4 - The Deadly Hand
Disc 2: Mojo Priest - His music CD. I haven't listened to much of it yet, but as Vern said in Seagalogy, he's not untalented.
Disc 3: Stephen Seagal The Path Beyond Thought - I have never heard of this before, but it's described as a journey where he "travel to Japan and back as Steven establishes his dojo in Osaka, teaches Aikido and develops balance between the physical and spiritual self through martial arts." So I'm pretty excited about that.

All in all, it's not bad. Sixty bucks plus shipping, but I had a free shipping coupon so it was decent for the set. For the show, it does seem a little hilarious that his Seagal Vision tends to focus on black people. But, I don't think that he's racist.

You could probably create a damn fine drinking game about how many times Seagal mentions his martial arts background, or about finding holes.
post #153 of 174
I think the ultimate Lawman drinking game would be to take a shot every time you hear a classic colloquialism, e.g.

"Oh Lawd ha mercy!"

"OOOHWEEE it's hotter than Georgie asphalt out heah!"

"don't you piss on mah leg and tell me it's rainin, boh!"

"good whiskey make jackrabbit slap da bear!"

post #154 of 174
Rose bushes? Big spender.
post #155 of 174
Man, the spanish language gets butchered by the guys. Surprisingly, Seagal is the best speaker. He really has great pronunciation.
The rest? My god.
post #156 of 174
I don't know if you know this or not, Tati, but Steven Segal is a martial artist. And when you learn martial arts, your skills of perception and learning are elevated to superhuman abilities. It's impossible for Steven Segal to NOT speak Spanish well. Or shoot a gun, or bust a perp, or be bloated, or fake a cajun accent.

Okay, that last one isn't true. He has the worst fake Cajun accent since Justin Wilson.

That being said, I LOVE this show. I love it both ironically and unironically. In an ironic sense, it's like watching an episode of Cops where the officer they follow around is crazier than a soup sandwich.

In an unironic way, Segal does seem to care about the people of Jefferson Parish. The stuff at the hospital with the kids made me all weepy. It's great that he can use his fading star to bring some light into those kids' lives.
post #157 of 174
Bad weave day for Steve!
Suddenly he's wearing his HALF PAST DEAD do-rag.

And there was really obvious dubbed in
"HEY THAT'S STEVEN SEAGAL!" while Steve was crusing down the streets of Jefferson Parish.
post #158 of 174
Moo-moo/gigantic scarf alert!
post #159 of 174
I've watched one whole episode and half of another. Reading this thread was infitely funnier and more entertaining than the real show.
post #160 of 174
"Can you beat Sacky Chan?"

This one was the best yet.
post #161 of 174
That scarf was rediclious...yet awesome. Loved the drunk guy that thought Seagal could beat up Sacky Chan and VanDamm but not Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris.
post #162 of 174
Its a shame that Mad TV got canceled, because Will Sasso would have had a field day with this show.
post #163 of 174
I've seen that guy's impression, it's awful.

I loved the Glimmer Man/Chinese medicine shoutout last episode. Hope Creepy Acupuncturist will be a recurring character, very Ric Young.
post #164 of 174
The way they tried to run and hop fences to catch that white shirt guy, hilarious. They all lost their breath half a block into the chase.
post #165 of 174
Originally Posted by Rourkefan View Post
Its a shame that Mad TV got canceled, because Will Sasso would have had a field day with this show.
It will never be a shame that MADTV got canned.
post #166 of 174
Kind of a boring episode overall, but it did have one of the funniest Lawman bits ever: when he's sitting down and they're all having a very serious talk, and he's listening without sunglasses, it cuts away then cuts back to him and suddenly for no good reason he's got those stupidass sunglasses on, then it cuts away and goes back to him and the glasses are off again. All within about 12 seconds. I don't know if it was deliberately edited that way for comic effect, but it came across like he had completely tuned out this important discussion about the nature of addiction to focus on a crucial "should I/shouldn't I go with the John Lennons?" dilemma.
post #167 of 174
I enjoyed the other cops ribbing him about Van Damme and his reaction to it. Raw nerve ahoy!
post #168 of 174
" would be like squashing an ant."

Pretty big talk you got there, eh Sensei.
post #169 of 174
Fascinating look into his filmmaking process last night, wouldn't be surprised if he gets a call from Christopher Guest soon.

It was the season, and maybe series, finale. In the words of the immortal Col. John Fortunado, "We gonna miss ya, big dog."
post #170 of 174
Just saw an advert while Jaws 3 was playing on local tv.

Cannot. wait. for. this. show.
post #171 of 174
You've just missed Season 1.

But a 2nd Season of 13 Episodes has just been announced.
post #172 of 174
Originally Posted by felix View Post
But a 2nd Season of 13 Episodes has just been announced.
Sixteen. Season 1 was thirteen.

Season 2 will have good old Mardi Gras episodes.

Anyway, a Jefferson Parish cop on Seagal:

Segal has been a deputy chief with us since the 80's, basically he was a big fan of Sheriff Harry Lee and Lee made him a deputy chief. He's a good guy, but like I said he's pretty much useless. My opinion on the show is that hopefully it will be some more good PR for our department, however I just can't see this show being nothing more than "look there's steven segal!".

Basically Seagal is Deputy Chief, that's what he was sworn in as. We have 1500 officers in the department, and he is ranked 17th from the top meaning he is the highest rank on scene. He basically rides around with 2 or 3 vehicles of deputies assigned to him, and listen to the radio on my district or our other bad district, and whenever we get into the ***** he starts en route to us. He normally arrives on scene when we are finishing up the hot call or he'll arrive when we're "struggling" with a suspect and he'll gladly help us cuff him. Then he gets in the car and leaves.

They drive around in unmarked SUV's, and sometimes they stumble upon things. I remember when they got into a foot pursuit of a drug dealer and we went over there to help them. I see the guy running across the street so I cut him off in the street and he hit's my car, I get out chase him 5 feet to the ground and get him handcuffed. Segal and his crew come around the corner in their SUV all get out and tackle the guy while he is already on the ground (keep in mind he's already in custody code 4), and then pick him up throw him in the back of MY patrol car . Then the cameraman asked if I could hit him with my car again since they didn't get that shot, wtf? Then they got in their car and left, leaving me with the transport to the jail and not knowing anything about what happened. The stuff on that show isn't staged, there really are no actors, but sometimes you will see things and wonder WTF.

He was sworn in as a Deputy Chief, our 2nd highest rank before Sheriff, and we have about 25 Deputy Chiefs.

[...] it's a real rank and all 25 people oversee different divisions except for Segal of course. If he shows up on scene and orders me to get a coffee while driving in reverse, I'd have to do it.

I know he has a house down here, somewhere in Metairie near where the Sheriff lives. Yeah he trains" each academy class in a certain number of hours of aikido or whatever it's called.
post #173 of 174
Is Season 2 already done? I remember them showing a few episodes, but it seems to have already disappeared.
post #174 of 174
There were about 7 or 8 episodes for season two, then it went away. Maybe forever. I think they replaced it with that Louis Theroux/Weird Weekends rip with Bob Saget.

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