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The Official 'Baby in the Storm Drain' Catch-All Thread

post #1 of 34
9/17/09 at 10:44am
Thread Starter 
http://www.ajc.com/news/dekalb/aband...351.html?imw=Y

Because frankly, we know there's gonna be many of these...
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post #2 of 34
9/17/09 at 11:51am
Please ban anyone who makes a "nobody puts baby in a storm drain" joke.

The correct joke is "drain don't hurt."
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post #3 of 34
9/17/09 at 2:09pm
So, this is the part of the article that I don't get:
Quote:
The 18-year-old woman went to DeKalb Medical Center early Thursday and reported that she had just given birth at a Shell station on Wesley Chapel Road and had left the baby in a garbage dumpster at the gas station, police said.

A search of the dumpster turned up no baby, but when police interviewed the woman's 19-year-old boyfriend, he told them that she had given birth at his house and that he had put the baby in a storm drain, DeKalb police spokesman Jason Gagnon said.
So they just blurted this out, huh? Are these two just heart-warmingly honest about the horrific thing they just did to a baby? Or are they the Abbott & Costello of negligent parents? Or maybe it was like one of those wacky "Bickersons"-type commercials: "You left the baby in a dumpster!" "No, you left the baby in a stormdrain!"

Either way, they suck. Baby Jessica would like to have a word with you, bitches.
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post #4 of 34
9/17/09 at 2:47pm
May that child land in the lap of loving millionaires. I'm not an advocate of the death penalty, but this is the closest thing to make me. Life in prison for both scumbags.
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post #5 of 34
9/17/09 at 2:52pm
Come on, haven't you ever misplaced anything in your life? Babies are tiny. Especially newborns. Not to mention slippery as hell.
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post #6 of 34
9/17/09 at 2:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Come on, haven't you ever misplaced anything in your life? Babies are tiny. Especially newborns. Not to mention slippery as hell.
Okay, sure then - small and slippery? I may have accidentally left behind a lipgloss in the ladies' room once. But lipgloss doesn't cry from hunger and exposure when you leave it behind.
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post #7 of 34
9/17/09 at 3:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Okay, sure then - small and slippery? I may have accidentally left behind a lipgloss in the ladies' room once. But lipgloss doesn't cry from hunger and exposure when you leave it behind.
After enough hunger and exposure, neither will the baby.
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post #8 of 34
9/17/09 at 3:08pm
I think step one is for we the people of the Western World to state the obvious: not all births are miracles, life is not necessarily a good thing.

Unwanted, unloved baby's painless death > Unwanted, unloved baby's painful life? At least some of the time, it has to be. Scarcity sucks, but these are the odds.
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post #9 of 34
9/17/09 at 3:17pm
As you can see in the Gun Thread, this is the precise reason I don't own one.
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post #10 of 34
9/17/09 at 3:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian View Post
Unwanted, unloved baby's painless death > Unwanted, unloved baby's painful life? At least some of the time, it has to be. Scarcity sucks, but these are the odds.
I really hope you're fucking kidding. A woman can give birth, and immediately leave an unwanted baby at any hospital, church, police station, or firehouse, with no questions asked. I know this is a message board, and it's hard to tell the tone of voice sometimes, or whether someone's joking or not. But there's no fucking excuse on this planet to leave a baby outside to die of exposure if you don't want it. There are plenty of people out there who'd want and love that baby, there's no need to do what they did.
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post #11 of 34
9/17/09 at 3:59pm
Amen. There are plenty of equally simple alternatives to slipping your unwanted baby down a Morlock lunch slot.
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post #12 of 34
9/17/09 at 4:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian View Post
I think step one is for we the people of the Western World to state the obvious: not all births are miracles, life is not necessarily a good thing.

Unwanted, unloved baby's painless death > Unwanted, unloved baby's painful life? At least some of the time, it has to be. Scarcity sucks, but these are the odds.
Ho
Ly
Shit.

When does your humanitarian of the year award arrive?
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post #13 of 34
9/17/09 at 4:00pm
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post #14 of 34
9/17/09 at 4:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
a Morlock lunch slot.
Can you stop disparaging Michelle Duggar? We have a separate thread for that.
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post #15 of 34
9/17/09 at 4:11pm
Hahaha.

Quote:
Unwanted, unloved baby's painless death > Unwanted, unloved baby's painful life
We need more crazy equations like this!

Smothering a kitten with another kitten = (Teenage basement sex prisoner)/57
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post #16 of 34
9/17/09 at 4:40pm
In my old age I'm close to becoming a pacifist, but I would have no problem giving these two the same treatment Pesci and his brother got in Casino.
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post #17 of 34
9/17/09 at 4:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trevor View Post



We need more crazy equations like this!
Home Made Abortion
-------------------------------= Glenn Beck
(Eating a burrito / Diarrhea) + 1
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post #18 of 34
9/17/09 at 10:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I really hope you're fucking kidding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
Ho
Ly
Shit.

When does your humanitarian of the year award arrive?
I think he was awkwardly wording the sentiment that this case is a ringing endorsement for terminating an unwanted pregnancy (the "painless" part can't possibly being speaking about leaving a kid in a dumpster).
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post #19 of 34
9/17/09 at 11:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
I think he was awkwardly wording the sentiment that this case is a ringing endorsement for terminating an unwanted pregnancy (the "painless" part can't possibly being speaking about leaving a kid in a dumpster).
Christ I hope that's true. Because otherwise it kind of looks like "Hey, that kids life might suck, so throw it in the gutter upon birth" is an acceptable and moral conclusion for him.
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post #20 of 34
9/17/09 at 11:44pm
Well, maybe he's assuming it's one of those velvet-lined dumpsters that come with cable and complementary booze . I wouldn't mind being tossed in one of those, let me tell ya.
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post #21 of 34
9/18/09 at 4:31am
He was talking about abortions, people. Not about actually having the baby and then killing it.
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post #22 of 34
9/18/09 at 10:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
I think he was awkwardly wording the sentiment that this case is a ringing endorsement for terminating an unwanted pregnancy (the "painless" part can't possibly being speaking about leaving a kid in a dumpster).
I would freaking hope so. He could have always worded that way - "You know, a safe, legal first trimester abortion would have been an option instead of leaving a baby in a dumpster." Something along those lines that wouldn't have made several of us think he was an asshole.
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post #23 of 34
9/18/09 at 10:38am
Nevermind. Wrong thread.
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post #24 of 34
9/18/09 at 10:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I would freaking hope so. He could have always worded that way - "You know, a safe, legal first trimester abortion would have been an option instead of leaving a baby in a dumpster." Something along those lines that wouldn't have made several of us think he was an asshole.
But plenty of us understood it. Who would think leaving a baby in a dumpster is "painless"?? Unless I missed a bunch of posts in the last five years where Graynadian acted like a soulless monster. Sheath your pitchforks.
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post #25 of 34
9/18/09 at 10:56am
Update on this story: the baby died. I give up on humanity.
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post #26 of 34
9/18/09 at 11:16am
Ah dammit.
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post #27 of 34
9/18/09 at 11:33am
Send those scumbags up the river, where they can't breed.
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post #28 of 34
9/18/09 at 11:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
But plenty of us understood it. Who would think leaving a baby in a dumpster is "painless"?? Unless I missed a bunch of posts in the last five years where Graynadian acted like a soulless monster. Sheath your pitchforks.
Yeah, I know, I got it - I'm not the only one who misunderstood it, but I stand corrected.

Guess it doesn't matter now anyway.
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post #29 of 34
9/18/09 at 11:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Yeah, I know, I got it - I'm not the only one who misunderstood it
Hence my angry mob reference.

Quote:
Guess it doesn't matter now anyway.
Sure it does. Graynadian is still with us. While we live, all we have is each other. Be good to each other.

So the upside is the two knuckleheads responsible will do more jail time; maybe their procreating abilities will dry up before they get out.
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post #30 of 34
9/18/09 at 11:38am
The father is claiming it was a miscarriage and the baby was stillborn.

You have to be one cold-hearted bastard to be able to simply walk away from the sound of your own child crying.
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post #31 of 34
9/18/09 at 11:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Sure it does. Graynadian is still with us. While we live, all we have is each other. Be good to each other.
You're right, I know. I don't know if it's that I'm already in a rotten mood, but reading that the baby didn't make it is a huge bummer, but not unexpected. I hope the so-called "parents" ("parents" in sperm and egg only) get locked up and the key thrown away.
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post #32 of 34
9/18/09 at 12:02pm
Once I figure out why Brad always calls him Rapenadian, I might give him a little bit more slack.
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post #33 of 34
9/19/09 at 8:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post

You have to be one cold-hearted bastard to be able to simply walk away from the sound of your own child crying.
That reminds me of Ballard's tackle on the prologue for CRASH, regarding the benevolent way we handle psychopathy nowadays. Cronnenberg could also make a great point on the subject.
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post #34 of 34
9/19/09 at 11:17pm
BIRTH CONTROL. USE IT.

I hate people.
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