CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › Staying friends with exes
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Staying friends with exes - Page 2

post #51 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:09pm
Thread Starter 
Haven't you been reading this thread? I am a

PUSSY
Reply
post #52 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Then why did you add them? I've refused a couple of people on Facebook that I have no desire to renew/maintain contact with. You HAVE the power, you know.
That's why I never joined that evil site. Temptation and a guilt complex. I'd feel bad.

Plus, my Mom's on Facebook.
Reply
post #53 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post

Look, exes blow - this is why they're exes. Why do you want to be friends with someone who made out with two other chicks right in front of you at a new years party in '98, always pestered you for anal after you repeatedly said "no", and then cheated on you with a stripper? Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
Yes...that's exactly what he's looking at.
Reply
post #54 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:10pm
It's pretty much inevitable at this point that Dongenstein's Monster is going to whisk Bartleby's wife away to a magical world of pussy-destroying passion, so I think now we should just start running a pool on when it happens.
Reply
post #55 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
exactly. Heaven forbid that your 'friendly ex' likes to perform a certain sexual act that your new partner refuses to do...
You have that problem too?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
My opinion: unless there are children involved, staying friends with exes is a bad idea. You've fucked. You'll always know that you've fucked that person. You'll always subconciously remember fucking that person, regardless of your current relationship.
More to the point, it's a hell of a lot easier to cheat with someone you've already had sex with as opposed to picking up a complete stranger and throwing the sexual compatibility dice.
Reply
post #56 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:11pm
well, we can't help you with THAT, Bartleby.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HBarr View Post
More to the point, it's a hell of a lot easier to cheat with someone you've already had sex with as opposed to picking up a complete stranger and throwing the sexual compatibility dice.
THIS.
Reply
post #57 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Haven't you been reading this thread? I am a

PUSSY
Yes, yes you are, my son, but Buddy Christ is here to show you the way...



...y'know, for when Millette has to take a bathroom break, or get some lunch.
Reply
post #58 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:12pm
I'm calling "Early March, 2011".
Reply
post #59 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Haven't you been reading this thread? I am a

PUSSY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
well, we can't help you with THAT, Bartleby.
You could if you were a HUGE COCK.
Reply
post #60 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:13pm
Thread Starter 
Brad, is it okay if I tell YOU that I love you?
Reply
post #61 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

Now in the case of Dawn, I really can't be friends (wouldn't have talked to her in years except she added me on facebook) with her because I simultaneously hate her and want to fuck her.
I'm of the mind that you shouldn't get married until you've got the "want to fuck lots of women" bug out of your system. That's what your 20s are for.
Reply
post #62 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:13pm
Scratch that. I'll be safe and mark down December 2012 as the date of the Acockalypse.
Reply
post #63 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:13pm
Since he's from South Carolina, I'm predicting that he'll do to your wife what Preston Brooks did to Charles Sumner. But not with a cane.
Reply
post #64 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Look, exes blow - this is why they're exes. Why do you want to be friends with someone who made out with two other chicks right in front of you at a new years party in '98, always pestered you for anal after you repeatedly said "no", and then cheated on you with a stripper? Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
Maybe it's a guy thing but who wouldn't want to have sex with someone (presumably that you already have great sex with in the past) and not have to worry about the relationship strings?
Reply
post #65 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:14pm
Phil and Judas speak the truth. I'm "friends" with a couple of my exes on Facebook, and that's about it. Never talk to them, never write them letters, any of that. It's for the best. Of course, my wife is the hottest woman I've ever dated, so that helps. But yeah, saying "I love you" to another woman you're not related to? Not exactly kosher. I'd stop were I in your shoes.

Also, Brad's probably right. Even if he's not, it's what you're thinking.
Reply
post #66 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Augustine View Post
I'm of the mind that you shouldn't get married until you've got the "want to fuck lots of women" bug out of your system. That's what your 20s are for.
This is very true. Get that shit out of your system before you decide to settle down with that one special woman for the rest of your life. You don't want REGRET tapping you on the shoulder after a few years of marriage.
Reply
post #67 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:15pm
Well, HBarr. I don't know if the gays have the same problem with the psycho bitches.

Also, this thread is pure greatness. I hope that Bartleby frames it after his wife's vagina gets shredded by the Cocktopus.
Reply
post #68 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:16pm
Thread Starter 
Alex, I'll refer to Phil here. Are you saying that if a guy is married he can't have sexual thoughts about anyone else? Not act on them, but have the very thoughts?

There's a lot of denying human nature in this thread.
Reply
post #69 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Alex, I'll refer to Phil here. Are you saying that if a guy is married he can't have sexual thoughts about anyone else? Not act on them, but have the very thoughts?

There's a lot of denying human nature in this thread.
It's ok to have lust in your heart, Jimmy Carter said so.

You're just being a giant pussy. It's cute and charming when John Cusack does it in a 20 year old movie. You just come across as a wannabe double-dipper here.
Reply
post #70 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:17pm
There's a lot of denying that Monstro the Male is going to wear your wife like a Chinese Dick Trap going on in this thread.
Reply
post #71 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:18pm
Thread Starter 
We should all aspire to be John Cusack.

At least Dawn never wanted anal...
Reply
post #72 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Alex, I'll refer to Phil here. Are you saying that if a guy is married he can't have sexual thoughts about anyone else? Not act on them, but have the very thoughts?

There's a lot of denying human nature in this thread.
You'll always have those thoughts. We're men - we're geared that way. You just need to remove the temptation from the equation. If you don't talk to them, the temptation will go away. If you're really serious about this gal that you're with now, cut those ties.
Reply
post #73 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
There's a lot of denying that Monstro the Male is going to wear your wife like a Chinese Dick Trap going on in this thread.

You are our Poet Laureate.
Reply
post #74 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Augustine View Post
I'm of the mind that you shouldn't get married until you've got the "want to fuck lots of women" bug out of your system. That's what your 20s are for.
Spoiler alert! Many more women will want to fuck you once you hit mid-thirties. And they'll be from the pools of 20s and 30s. And 40s, and you'll be fine with that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Alex, I'll refer to Phil here. Are you saying that if a guy is married he can't have sexual thoughts about anyone else? Not act on them, but have the very thoughts?
We are not responsible for, nor held accountable for, our thoughts. Only our actions.
Reply
post #75 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson View Post
Well, HBarr. I don't know if the gays have the same problem with the psycho bitches.
Being psycho not confined to females.

Not every ex is a psycho bitch. If so, then there may be bigger problems to resolve.
Reply
post #76 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
We should all aspire to be John Cusack.

At least Dawn never wanted anal...
I ruined her on that one.
Tears are the best lube.
Reply
post #77 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:20pm
Thread Starter 
I now want to fuck all of you.
Reply
post #78 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by teledork View Post
Yes...that's exactly what he's looking at.
See, I knew that. This is why you need the female point of view in this thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
There's a lot of denying human nature in this thread.
Buddy Christ says to REPENT.
Reply
post #79 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:20pm
oh noooo o>-< <-- Bartleby

Bartleby's Wife -> o>-< <==============8 <--- The Behemoth
Reply
post #80 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HBarr View Post
Being psycho not confined to females.

Not every ex is a psycho bitch. If so, then there may be bigger problems to resolve.
9 out of 10 of them are psycho bitches. If this is the X Factor, which it isn't...Bartleby might be onto something.

But, he's not. Why? Well, he's asking for relationship advice on a movie discussion forum.
Reply
post #81 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Spoiler alert! Many more women will want to fuck you once you hit mid-thirties. And they'll be from the pools of 20s and 30s. And 40s, and you'll be fine with that.
I'll also add THIS: married/attached men are MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE to women than single men. I don't know why this is, but you married guys should be able to back me up on this. I wish that I knew WHY my wedding ring acted like Spanish Fly to all of these women out there. Where were you when I was single??????
Reply
post #82 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:22pm
Thread Starter 
Maybe Will, the wife and I should pull a Chasing Amy? I admit I'm curious about his Tyrannosaurus Cock.
Reply
post #83 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
You'll always have those thoughts. We're men - we're geared that way. You just need to remove the temptation from the equation. If you don't talk to them, the temptation will go away. If you're really serious about this gal that you're with now, cut those ties.
Exactly. You say you're not tempted to with your pen pal, but if it bothers you that your wife has essentially the same relationship with one of her exes, there's some doubt going on there. I'd talk to her and ask her to end it, and offer to end yours as well. You can't hold her to a different standard than you hold yourself, especially since it seems like the problem is in your mind.
Reply
post #84 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Spoiler alert! Many more women will want to fuck you once you hit mid-thirties and married. And they'll be from the pools of 20s and 30s. And 40s, and you'll be fine with that.
The minute you are in a confirmed relationship you automatically become irresistible to anyone single.

Edited to add or what Judas already stated. Damn the speed of this thread.
Reply
post #85 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Maybe Will, the wife and I should pull a Chasing Amy? I admit I'm curious about his Tyrannosaurus Cock.
You're going to get a divorce.
Reply
post #86 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post
One question: Does your wife know you tell this other woman "I love you"?
The convenient thing about Spanish is that there are two ways to say "I love you."

"Te quiero" - is like the platonic version. It's "I have a lot of affection for you"

"Te amo" - is the passionate one. "I'm in love with you."

But, then again, all my exes have been English-speakers. So how the fuck would I know the difference?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
You've fucked. You'll always know that you've fucked that person. You'll always subconciously remember fucking that person, regardless of your current relationship.
I identify with this. I find myself often masturbating to past sexual experiences.

Yeah... Maybe staying friends is a bad idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
We were like fifteen...
I had a "girlfriend" when I was fifteen.

I don't remember her name.

You're a better man than I am.

(Before you call me a prick - I do remember my first girlfriend. My first kiss... We touched each other... All that. Her name was Faith Herrera and we were in the 6th grade. I haven't seen her since or kept in touch with her. But we made out in her living room while watching The Telephone on HBO - or did we rent it? ... Our first makeout session was scored to Phil Collins' version of A Groovy Kind Of Love. We went trick-or-treating together Halloween '88.)
Reply
post #87 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Alex, I'll refer to Phil here. Are you saying that if a guy is married he can't have sexual thoughts about anyone else? Not act on them, but have the very thoughts?

There's a lot of denying human nature in this thread.
Having the thoughts is one thing. Actively cultivating them by maintaining contact with first loves that can be idealized because of distance and the fact that sex never entered the equation...

You've got a bunch of crusty old dudes, all of whom are currently in very happy relationships, saying the same thing. Not to play the age card, but we know of what we speak. Take it or leave it. But don't say no one told you if it comes back to bite you in the ass.
Reply
post #88 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:24pm
April 2010 and he's fucking his ex.
Reply
post #89 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:24pm
Thread Starter 
I'd like to clarify that I wasn't looking for advice, simply conveying the Chinese finger trap I've found myself in. I was more looking for similar stories from others to justify my pussyness.

Can't you all be my enablers?
Reply
post #90 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:24pm
No man can be just friends with a woman, didn't "When Harry Met Sally teach you anything?"

Also Brad owes me a new keybord several times over.
Reply
post #91 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
I admit I'm curious about his Tyrannosaurus Cock.
Who's to say you wouldn't enjoy it? Look, hit the gay section of Red Tube.com to get yourself geared up, get some of that nice cuddly warming K-Y, send the guy an email pretending to be your wife, and just casually suggest it.
Reply
post #92 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
I'll also add THIS: married/attached men are MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE to women than single men. I don't know why this is, but you married guys should be able to back me up on this. I wish that I knew WHY my wedding ring acted like Spanish Fly to all of these women out there. Where were you when I was single??????
This is true. I've been hit on way more times since I got married than I was being single. It's curious. Lisa, can you give us female perspective on this phenomenon?
Reply
post #93 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HBarr View Post
Edited to add or what Judas already stated. Damn the speed of this thread.
It is moving fast.
Reply
post #94 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:26pm
When it does happen, you should at least be allowed to enjoy it, so I recommend you ask Peter Peter Pussy Beater to make choo-choo noises while he does the deed.
Reply
post #95 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
I'll also add THIS: married/attached men are MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE to women than single men. I don't know why this is, but you married guys should be able to back me up on this. I wish that I knew WHY my wedding ring acted like Spanish Fly to all of these women out there. Where were you when I was single??????

Sorry for the double post but QFT!
Reply
post #96 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
April 2010 and he's fucking his ex.
Really? I was going to give it 3 months before the inevitable murder-suicide.
Reply
post #97 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:27pm
Thread Starter 
Fuck it. Brad, will you marry me?
Reply
post #98 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:28pm
No, you're not enough man for me.
Reply
post #99 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erix View Post
(Before you call me a prick - I do remember my first girlfriend. My first kiss... We touched each other... All that. Her name was Faith Herrera and we were in the 6th grade. I haven't seen her since or kept in touch with her. But we made out in her living room while watching The Telephone on HBO - or did we rent it? ... Our first makeout session was scored to Phil Collins' version of A Groovy Kind Of Love. We went trick-or-treating together Halloween '88.)
I'm of the opinion that if you've had sex, you should stop trick-or-treating. Maybe it's just me.
Reply
post #100 of 554
10/6/09 at 12:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HBarr View Post
The minute you are in a confirmed relationship you automatically become irresistible to anyone single.
It's because someone already deemed you worthy.

Or is it that the curious is hopeful you're "housebroken" by now?
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Chewers Catch-All
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › Staying friends with exes