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144 ways the USA could be destroyed.

post #1 of 28
10/13/09 at 7:17pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.slate.com/id/2223285/sidebar/2223286/

Take your pick, gringos!
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post #2 of 28
10/13/09 at 7:31pm
I choose Super-AIDS. If we're going out, we will go out, as a nation, fucking like rabbits.
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post #3 of 28
10/13/09 at 7:43pm
I am most worried about high-fructose corn syrup.
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post #4 of 28
10/13/09 at 7:55pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
I choose Super-AIDS. If we're going out, we will go out, as a nation, fucking like rabbits.
But what if it just involves the "just one teaspoon in you butt" method?
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post #5 of 28
10/13/09 at 7:58pm
We will fuck like rabbits for three years.

Three AWESOME years.
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post #6 of 28
10/13/09 at 8:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
We will fuck like rabbits for three years.

Three AWESOME years.
This man has some great ideas.
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post #7 of 28
10/13/09 at 8:45pm
Religious critical mass.
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post #8 of 28
10/13/09 at 8:48pm
I think it'd be kinda cool if Yellowstone goes kablooey. Sadly, it will probably be the economic/technological dominance of eastern nations.
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post #9 of 28
10/13/09 at 8:53pm
Media Piracy?

What the hell kind of list is this???
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post #10 of 28
10/13/09 at 8:55pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Media Piracy?

What the hell kind of list is this???
One that gives even the crazy scenarios some space, I guess.
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post #11 of 28
10/13/09 at 10:57pm
I'm hoping for the Cyborg rebellion, myself.
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post #12 of 28
10/13/09 at 11:09pm
Combined Gray Goo/Matrix scenario FTW!
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post #13 of 28
10/13/09 at 11:31pm
Well, I'm depressed! Thanks, guys. Jerks.
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post #14 of 28
10/13/09 at 11:42pm
I always figured someone would create Super AIDS.
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post #15 of 28
10/14/09 at 12:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams View Post
I always figured someone would create Super AIDS.
Working on it, just need 3-4 more years and a MacArthur grant.
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post #16 of 28
10/14/09 at 1:33am
Come on, it's gotta be zombies surely?
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post #17 of 28
10/14/09 at 11:56am
#68 - Fuck you. You'll pry my blackberry out of my cold, dead hands.
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post #18 of 28
10/14/09 at 12:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post
Working on it, just need 3-4 more years and a MacGyver grant.
Fixed.
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post #19 of 28
10/14/09 at 12:49pm
What the hell would a MacGyver grant be? Someone walks up and dumps the contents of their wife's purse in your lap?

Did anyone else click the "return to article" button on the left and do the "Choose your own Apocalypse" option?
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post #20 of 28
10/14/09 at 12:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post
Come on, it's gotta be zombies surely?
Yeah, I'm pretty much going to have to call bullshit on this list. Nowhere does it specifically mention the Zombie Apocalyse, and I have it on very good authority that is the endgame. And if it's not, what the hell have I been training for these past eight years? Most of the scenarios on that list were taken directly from SciFi original movies. Super Volcano? Really?
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post #21 of 28
10/14/09 at 1:09pm
I'm pretty sure the list is supposed to be tongue in cheek, so "calling bullshit" on it is kind of like not getting the joke, then getting angry at the comedian.
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post #22 of 28
10/14/09 at 1:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
I'm pretty sure the list is supposed to be tongue in cheek, so "calling bullshit" on it is kind of like not getting the joke, then getting angry at the comedian.
Hey, thanks for clarifying that, man.
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post #23 of 28
10/14/09 at 1:14pm
You're welcome. Now velcro up those shoes and make sure you've got your mittens before you hop on the short bus.
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post #24 of 28
10/14/09 at 1:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
You're welcome. Now velcro up those shoes and make sure you've got your mittens before you hop on the short bus.
Okay, that did make me laugh.
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post #25 of 28
10/14/09 at 1:48pm
Did NOT know we almost got nuked in 1995.


Also

Quote:
31. Christianity: Just as, per Edward Gibbon, the rise of religion killed Rome's fighting spirit, increasing spirituality turns America into a nation of pacifists. We get attacked and don't fight back.
L O fucking L. This implies that the majority of Christians will EVER learn to actually read and interpret their precious little book, finally figuring out that the overarching message is one of peace. Good fucking luck with that one.
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post #26 of 28
10/14/09 at 2:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeypants View Post
Did NOT know we almost got nuked in 1995.
It's a fascinating story whose detailles only recently surfaced. One Russian colonel basically saved the earth's ass when he refused to push the button that would initiate a full retaliatory strike. I believe he was imprisoned for not following the rules of engagement.

Discovery did a doc on him not long ago.
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post #27 of 28
10/14/09 at 2:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
I'm pretty sure the list is supposed to be tongue in cheek, so "calling bullshit" on it is kind of like not getting the joke, then getting angry at the comedian.
God damn you humor! You have eluded me again!
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post #28 of 28
10/14/09 at 2:13pm
Huh. Tyler Perry is nowhere to be found on this list.
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