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Really stupid comics

post #1 of 83
10/19/09 at 2:41pm
Thread Starter 
I was looking thru my collection when i found this gem:

Superman and Big Barda are tricked into starring in a pornfilm lol.

I also came across this issue of Amazing Spider-man where Doctor Octopus marries Aunt May! Wtf??!?!

Oh god, my head hurts from reading these horrible comics.
Do you have suggestions for more stupid funnybooks? I feel my brain is evil and must be punished.
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post #2 of 83
10/19/09 at 3:04pm
Just to get it out of the way.

Superdickery

There you go. There's this entire thread. Again.
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post #3 of 83
10/19/09 at 3:08pm
Those are why comics are awesome.
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post #4 of 83
10/19/09 at 3:24pm
Oh wait shit I win the thread

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post #5 of 83
10/19/09 at 3:33pm
John Byrne is one of the creepiest dudes, as far as sexuality in comics goes.
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post #6 of 83
10/19/09 at 9:59pm
Thread Starter 
John Byrne is a perv. Remember when he turned Sue Storm into the Invisible Slut?
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post #7 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:24am
IIRC there was an issue of West Coast Avengers where a crazy Scarlet Witch slapped the Wasp to the floor; all the Avengers in the room pretended it didn't happen.
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post #8 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
Oh wait shit I win the thread
Easily the worst comic I've ever had the pleasure of not paying for after reading it in the store.
Still havent even watched the "lets just keep only the name and the gun skills" movie because of how much I hated it.
Oh, and Loeb's work on the Ultimate Universe deserves a nod...how the hell did they actually allowed that to go to press?
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post #9 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter View Post
I also came across this issue of Amazing Spider-man where Doctor Octopus marries Aunt May! Wtf??!?!
To be fair, Ock was only using the wedding as a means to get a hold of a uranium-rich island (complete with nuclear reactor) in Canada that Aunt May had recently inherited. So it all makes complete sense.
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post #10 of 83
10/20/09 at 8:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Easily the worst comic I've ever had the pleasure of not paying for after reading it in the store.
Still havent even watched the "lets just keep only the name and the gun skills" movie because of how much I hated it.
Oh, and Loeb's work on the Ultimate Universe deserves a nod...how the hell did they actually allowed that to go to press?
Jeph Loeb's work on the Ultimate Universe makes Millar's look good. Think about that for a second.
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post #11 of 83
10/20/09 at 9:12am
John Byrne isn't a perv, he's just one of the most misogynistic writers in comics. He could give Dave Sim a run for his money, but at least Dave Sim doesn't deny that he hates women.
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post #12 of 83
10/20/09 at 9:45am
take THAT wasp!
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post #13 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luca S. View Post
Jeph Loeb's work on the Ultimate Universe makes Millar's look good. Think about that for a second.
I actually LIKE Millar's early work on Ultimate X-Men and Ultimates (Note that i do not cound Ultimate Fantastic Four because that title was pretty much owned by Warren Ellis's run); what i disliked about Loeb was how little he cared about continuity and the work of previous creators (down right to the visuals...I've just seen a preview of his new Ultimate title and the characters arae again exactly like their 616 versions) and how he esentially killed the idea and spirit of the Ultimate line with just two series; it was like when everyone went grim and gritty during TDKR's success, without knowing how to handle it.
"Ultimatum" has to be the biggest clusterfuck I've ever witnessed in comic book form; oddly enough, Bendis and Millar are pretty much ignoring Loeb's work when it comes to continuity.
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post #14 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luca S. View Post
take THAT wasp!
I've always liked how pretty much every modern writer (except Kurt Busiek and Dan Slott) keeps tagging Giant Man as an unrepentant wife beater just for that panel.
Hell, Mark Millar had to make Ultimate Wasp a complete bitch just so the slap made sense.
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post #15 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter View Post
John Byrne is a perv. Remember when he turned Sue Storm into the Invisible Slut?
I'll see thata nd raise you the 90's costume:

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post #16 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:17am
The Wasp in the Ultimates comics gets treated worse than almost any character I've ever seen.
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post #17 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
I've always liked how pretty much every modern writer (except Kurt Busiek and Dan Slott) keeps tagging Giant Man as an unrepentant wife beater just for that panel.
Actually there was a long story arc about him being a wife beater.
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post #18 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Actually there was a long story arc about him being a wife beater.
Curses, foiled again!
Still, its kind of weird how the've kept the character tagged with the "wife beater" thing while other character's (Iron man, Ms Marvel, etc) growth and conquest of their flaws and problems have been established.
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post #19 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:40am
Well.. beating your wife is just a tad worse than "really likes whiskey a lot".
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post #20 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
The Wasp in the Ultimates comics gets treated worse than almost any character I've ever seen.
Detective Soap from Ennis's "Punisher Max" comes to mind.
And you're right on Ultimate Wasp; Beaten up by her husband, beaten up by a frenchman, flashed the hulk, has been inside another person's mouth/brain twice, got no respect as team leader then got drowned/eaten up.

Holy shit.
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post #21 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:47am
I actually think the worst thing is, okay, Hank beats her. Then Captain America beats up Hank, which totally makes her wet for Cap, because oh MAN what a MANLY MAN! So she jumps ship to Ol' Glory, but geez he's such a SQUARE, you know? Suddenly she starts thinking, "You know Jan, Hank may have been abusive and actually tried to murder you, but at least he wasn't boring! Maybe we should give him another shot."

It's pretty deplorable characterization, all around.
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post #22 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
Well.. beating your wife is just a tad worse than "really likes whiskey a lot".
Indeed...still, at least Busiek gave him a "Well, he did create a genocidal robot from his own brainwaves that then raped his mind and then killed a whole fucking country" pass at his mental problems.
That aside, I like Slott's take on the character, trying to make him likable and in search of redemption.
hey, another stupid comic has to be the "Fight Club" revamp of "Thunderbolts".
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post #23 of 83
10/20/09 at 11:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
I actually think the worst thing is, okay, Hank beats her. Then Captain America beats up Hank, which totally makes her wet for Cap, because oh MAN what a MANLY MAN! So she jumps ship to Ol' Glory, but geez he's such a SQUARE, you know? Suddenly she starts thinking, "You know Jan, Hank may have been abusive and actually tried to murder you, but at least he wasn't boring! Maybe we should give him another shot."

It's pretty deplorable characterization, all around.
Yup...when she's amde team leader in Ultimates 3, they had a shot at making her character shine and move on...instead, they went even farther in the horrible characterization...and then she got eaten by a huge fat guy.
The whole thing is many sorts of wrong and fucked up i cant even believe it.
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post #24 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:04pm
Today's comics are mature and feature sophisticated story-telling. They address real world issues. They're not just for poorly groomed man-children anymore!
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post #25 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
So she jumps ship to Ol' Glory, but geez he's such a SQUARE, you know? Suddenly she starts thinking, "You know Jan, Hank may have been abusive and actually tried to murder you, but at least he wasn't boring! Maybe we should give him another shot."

It's pretty deplorable characterization, all around.
And yet there are many women like that. It's not uncommen for them to gravitate toward abusive men. Problem is, comic book writers aren't talented enough to write about this kind of stuff. They lack the insight and skill to portray damaged personalities in any kind of meaningful way. So what you get is distasteful bullshit instead.
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post #26 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:19pm
Right, instead of being portrayed in any kind of sensitivity or three dimensionality, the fact that she's obviously a damaged human being just becomes all that she is. But it's just the string of offenses leveled at that one character, one after another, that leaves me aghast. The completely disgusting "Tastes like chicken." page was just the perfect cherry on that sundae of utter contempt.
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post #27 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
Right, instead of being portrayed in any kind of sensitivity or three dimensionality, the fact that she's obviously a damaged human being just becomes all that she is. But it's just the string of offenses leveled at that one character, one after another, that leaves me aghast. The completely disgusting "Tastes like chicken." page was just the perfect cherry on that sundae of utter contempt.
And now we have a hardcore, cool Ultimate Wasp...who flies through people's head like a bullet.
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post #28 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:29pm
Check it out guys DC is making TWO-FACE better.

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post #29 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:31pm
I can't see the image. Does he have three faces now? OH I HOPE HE HAS THREE FACES!!!!
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post #30 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:33pm
hahaha what
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post #31 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:35pm
Still not as good as:

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post #32 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:37pm
What the motherfuck is that? That is actually the new Two Face or is it just a gag?
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post #33 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
Still not as good as:
"You know, its not fucked up enough...lets make him green"
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post #34 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:42pm
Composite Superman is the fucking best. His power is that he has every power ever, and also he is an evil janitor.
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post #35 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
What the motherfuck is that? That is actually the new Two Face or is it just a gag?
It's Judd Winick, apparently. That was enough of an explanation for me.
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post #36 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
Composite Superman is the fucking best. His power is that he has every power ever, and also he is an evil janitor.
That was my favorite single issue of a comic when I was five years old.
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post #37 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:49pm
I love that you could get away with a character like that in the Silver Age. He's a janitor that's mad at Superman for some nebulous reason, and Superman gets him a job at the Superman Museum(!) and he's working there, so then a cosmic lightning bolt(!!) shoots the display that's all got models of the Legionnaires, but it turns out they aren't models, but actually shrunken duplicates of them(!!!), and it gives him all of their powers. And then he decides that the most threatening thing he can think of is to turn into Half Batman/Half Superman.... with green skin.(!!!!)
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post #38 of 83
10/20/09 at 12:59pm
It's no gag!
If I know DC, "two face w/ batclown costume and giant acme gun" will be a crucial element in their next HUGE MEGA EVENT and he'll get his own spinoff book. Then Marvel will be like "OH YEAH?????" and introduce a bunch of new multi-colored Hulks.
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post #39 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
It's Judd Winick, apparently. That was enough of an explanation for me.
More than anything in that illustration, I'm concerned about the fact that Batman appears to have mortar rounds embedded in his back.
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post #40 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:12pm
The problem with Hank Pym is that the wife-beating is pretty much the most interesting thing that's happened with the character in the modern era, so lazy writers can't help but be attracted to that like moths to a flame. I read some comics from the 90's (maybe early 00's) where it wasn't even touched upon, and the result was that he became just this guy in a red mechanics' suit, one of the supergeniuses but totally vanilla when compared to Mr.Fantastic or Beast or whoever.Plus, yeah, it's just such a heinous thing to do that when anyone thinks of Pym now "wife beater" is just the first thing that springs to mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
John Byrne isn't a perv, he's just one of the most misogynistic writers in comics. He could give Dave Sim a run for his money, but at least Dave Sim doesn't deny that he hates women.
I think he's both! He victimizes women to a very large degree, but it's done in a fetischistic, hyper-sexualized way.
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post #41 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:12pm
Those are apparently tranquilizer darts. Giant novelty tranquilizer darts.
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post #42 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
John Byrne isn't a perv
From what one reads and hears, he kinda is. But, then, by most people's definitions, so is George Perez.

And at least Perez has the good sense not to act like a moron online.
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post #43 of 83
10/20/09 at 1:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielRoffle View Post
The problem with Hank Pym is that the wife-beating is pretty much the most interesting thing that's happened with the character in the modern era, so lazy writers can't help but be attracted to that like moths to a flame. I read some comics from the 90's (maybe early 00's) where it wasn't even touched upon, and the result was that he became just this guy in a red mechanics' suit, one of the supergeniuses but totally vanilla when compared to Mr.Fantastic or Beast or whoever.Plus, yeah, it's just such a heinous thing to do that when anyone thinks of Pym now "wife beater" is just the first thing that springs to mind.
Maybe that's why I enjoy the "Beyond!" mini series and Slott's "Mighty Avengers" take on Pym; a flawed genius whose's not viewed with much respect or power by his peers and the worls, who's goal is to redeem himself and prove his worth.
Hell, the whole arc with Pym and his avengers taking on the Fantastic Four is pure awesomess and a fun read as well.,,hell, i loved this:

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post #44 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:09pm
Gotta cop that, Slott on She-Hulk is one of my all-time favourite runs.
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post #45 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:12pm
I humbly submit:

http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/st...ers/index.html

My favourite:



THEY HAVE A DONKEY KONG CARTOON ON THE INSIDE!!!!!! AND TWIN GALAXIES TOO!!!
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post #46 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:17pm
I hate it when images are cut & pasted like that.
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post #47 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:21pm
Bathombre



I take it back, this is glorious.
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post #48 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
I hate it when images are cut & pasted like that.
I'm sorry, I'll never post an image in a thread again??
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post #49 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanielRoffle View Post
Gotta cop that, Slott on She-Hulk is one of my all-time favourite runs.
I loved how Slott just take very possible shot (in a fun way) at any error or screw up in continuity and characterization in that series.
Except for Starfox being a walking roofie...only issues i didnt enjoy much.
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post #50 of 83
10/20/09 at 2:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
I'm sorry, I'll never post an image in a thread again??
I was talking about those Avengers panels.
Post all the Blip you want. I can't get enough Blip. Lord help me I remember when that came out.
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