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Bruce the shark may exist, and its a cannibal!

post #1 of 93
Thread Starter 
Good luck ever going into the sea ever again!

First a look at its poor, defendless victim...A 10 FOOT Great White Shark!


A 'monster' great white shark measuring up to 20 ft long is on the prowl off a popular Queensland beach, according to officials.
Swimmers were warned to stay out of the water off Stradbroke Island after the shark mauled another smaller great white which had been hooked on a baited drum line.
The 10-foot great white was almost bitten in half.
The fictional shark at the centre of the Steven Spielberg blockbuster Jaws was estimated to be just five feet longer.


To all australian chewers...stay out of the water!
post #2 of 93
Well what do you expect to catch when you're using a 10-foot great white for bait? Honestly ...
post #3 of 93
Sweet! I'm going to Queensland next month. I'll add supershark to the list of things that can potentially end me.
post #4 of 93
Check out Susan Casey's "The Devil's Teeth". It documents the wildlife--gulls, sea lion and great white sharks--living on and around the Farallon Islands off the coast of San Francisco. It makes it pretty clear that 20 foot long great white sharks are, if not entirely common, not a rarity.
post #5 of 93
I went on a shark dive off the Farallones last year. If I'd seen something that big, I'd still be shitting myself.
post #6 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
I went on a shark dive off the Farallones last year. If I'd seen something that big, I'd still be shitting myself.
Firstly, that's awesome.
Secondly, yeah, Casey describes seeing great whites the width of school buses!!! (Being a shark fanatic, I can't recommend this book enough)
post #7 of 93
That's just fucking great.

Now the regular sharks have the Robert Carlyle version of the Great White Shark. Have fun.
post #8 of 93
Thread Starter 
Steve Alten must be sporting some serious wood right now, I bet.
post #9 of 93
The supershark exists ... and he's Australian.
post #10 of 93
Too cool.
post #11 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Firstly, that's awesome.
Secondly, yeah, Casey describes seeing great whites the width of school buses!!! (Being a shark fanatic, I can't recommend this book enough)
I liked the book, but really disliked her as a person by the end of it.
post #12 of 93
I hope they catch it or it escapes before O'Callaghan tries to rape it.
post #13 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy Jankis View Post
Well what do you expect to catch when you're using a 10-foot great white for bait? Honestly ...
Cthulhu?

As for sharks as wide as school buses? Why haven't we nuked them from orbit?
post #14 of 93
How the fuck was that thing still alive after having 1/4 of it's body swallowed?
post #15 of 93
I don't think the shark in the pic is still alive.
post #16 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I don't think the shark in the pic is still alive.
It's resting.
post #17 of 93
Whenever I think of Australia, I mentally cross out the name "Australia" and write in "Monster Island." Sometimes I think Harry Harrison used the place as the inspiration for Deathworld.
post #18 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Bean View Post
How the fuck was that thing still alive after having 1/4 of it's body swallowed?
Zombie Shark!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSPG9QQg4C0
post #19 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
It's resting.
Nice Python reference Judas!
post #20 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I don't think the shark in the pic is still alive.
from the article
Quote:
The great white, the most dangerous creature in the sea, was still alive when hauled onto a boat near Deadman's Beach off north Stradbroke island.
post #21 of 93
Well, he'll be dead soon, he's very ill.
post #22 of 93
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Well, he'll be dead soon, he's very ill.
No, we can rebuild him, smarter, more advanced...and then send him to take its revenge.

And eat Samuel L jackson midspeech.
post #23 of 93
That's unbelievable!

I can only hope that a really evil villian in a tux jet skis straight into it's mouth like in Shark Attack 3: Megalodon.
post #24 of 93
Just when you think the ocean isnt big or deep enough...add another link to the food chain
post #25 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
Whenever I think of Australia, I mentally cross out the name "Australia" and write in "Monster Island." Sometimes I think Harry Harrison used the place as the inspiration for Deathworld.
Bah, we're not that bad, especially in the developed parts.

That said, just don;t go fucking swimming basically. Our two epic predators are sharks (and fuck me that picture is simultaniously cool and terrifying) and this guy:



So stay out of the water and you should be okay. Koalas don't bite.

...and anyway, don't you have places in your country where dogs have to be kept indoors for fear of being eaten by cougars and shit?
post #26 of 93
I already posted about this! I'll copy and paste those posts from the "Funny, Bizarre, or violent news story" thread.

POST 1: Possible Twenty Foot Monster Shark ravaging Australia's coast!




It's so huge it bit another shark in half

POST 2:The more I read about this Killer Giant Aussie Shark, the more I wonder if it might not be a surviving Megalodon?




Look at this eyewitness report from the early 20th century:
Quote:
In the year 1918 I recorded the sensation that had been caused among the "outside" crayfish men at Port Stephens, when, for several days, they refused to go to sea to their regular fishing grounds in the vicinity of Broughton Island. The men had been at work on the fishing grounds — which lie in deep water — when an immense shark of almost unbelievable proportions put in an appearance, lifting pot after pot containing many crayfishes, and taking, as the men said, "pots, mooring lines and all". These crayfish pots, it should be mentioned, were about 3 feet 6 inches [1.06 m] in diameter and frequently contained from two to three dozen good-sized crayfish each weighing several pounds.

The men were all unanimous that this shark was something the like of which they had never dreamed of. In company with the local Fisheries Inspector I questioned many of the men very closely and they all agreed as to the gigantic stature of the beast. But the lengths they gave were, on the whole, absurd. I mention them, however, as an indication of the state of mind which this unusual giant had thrown them into. And bear in mind that these were men who were used to the sea and all sorts of weather, and all sorts of sharks as well.

One of the crew said the shark was "three hundred feet [90 m] long at least"! Others said it was as long as the wharf on which we stood – about 115 feet [35 m]! They affirmed that the water "boiled" over a large space when the fish swam past. They were all familiar with whales, which they had often seen passing at sea, but this was a vast shark. They had seen its terrible head which was "at least as long as the roof on the wharf shed at Nelson Bay."

Impossible, of course! But these were prosaic and rather stolid men, not given to 'fish stories' nor even to talking about their catches. Further, they knew that the person they were talking to (myself) had heard all the fish stories years before! One of the things that impressed me was that they all agreed as to the ghostly whitish colour of the vast fish. The local Fisheries Inspector of the time, Mr Paton, agreed with me that it must have been something really gigantic to put these experienced men into such a state of fear and panic.
Could this shark that was nearly bitten in half be the product of just such a sea-monster? For those who don't know, megaolodon is OVER 17 METERS LONG. If that is what is off the coast of Australia right now, they could be in much more danger than they even realize.

-----------
In the future, if I'm posting a news story before other people have, should I create a seperate thread like Ryoken did, or should I do what I'd initially done which is post it in one of the stickied news item threads? I'd appreciate some clarity. Thanks!
post #27 of 93
You guys have some really evil jellyfish too!
post #28 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
You guys have some really evil jellyfish too!
Actually this I'll cop to. This evil bastard:



...is, well, an evil bastard basically. As a wee nipper of probably about 4 or so playing in the sea on a holiday to Queensland, I wasnt attacked by a box jelyfish - just one of it's loose tendrils you see above that had become detached from the body of one and had been floating around and had washed up near the shore. It lightly brushed over my thigh and the pain was unbelievable, I've never forgotten it. It looked like I had a long thin burn.

...and that was just a single tendril.

So yeah, again - just don't go swimming. We have lots of swimming pools, swim in them.
post #29 of 93
Good thing I don't ever go swimming... ever.
post #30 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post
So stay out of the water and you should be okay. Koalas don't bite.
I've heard Koalas are little bastards that are persistently in a bad mood.
post #31 of 93
Isn't like basically every terrifying spider in Australia?
post #32 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe Powers View Post
I've heard Koalas are little bastards that are persistently in a bad mood.
Koalas sleep up to about 18 hours every day so it's pretty easy to catch them when they're cranky.

They very rarely leave the trees tho so short of shitting on you there's not a whole lot they can do.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Francis Wolcott View Post
Isn't like basically every terrifying spider in Australia?
We have a fair few - and snakes too - but it's of a comparable level to any other part of the world really - the states included.
post #33 of 93
So, I'm the only one who thinks the first pic looks like a terrible photoshop job?

If the 20 footer is real, it must be incredibly old. So of course humans will kill it and proudly pose next to it.
post #34 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
The supershark exists ... and he's Australian.
I'm just amazed that the first movie quote in this thread was Watchmen and not Jaws.
post #35 of 93
This is all going to give me nightmares, especially after checking out some of the megalodon pics.



post #36 of 93
Honestly WG - you don't need to come up with either prehistoric or fantasy sharks to be afraid of some of the leviathans out there...


This was caught off Phillip Island, a little over an hours drive from where I live, in 1987.
post #37 of 93
I'm never going to swim again.
post #38 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
That's unbelievable!

I can only hope that a really evil villian in a tux jet skis straight into it's mouth like in Shark Attack 3: Megalodon.
Or that the shark growls, like in Shark Attack 2 (a personal favorite of mine). I say we call Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas to dispatch a giant octopus to deal with this mega-shark.
post #39 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post

This was caught off Phillip Island, a little over an hours drive from where I live, in 1987.
I know! You can tell by the mullet on that woman to the right.

(Oh, yeah, the 20 ft. shark...)
post #40 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
This is all going to give me nightmares, especially after checking out some of the megalodon pics.




WWG,

As a resident of a coastal state, I just wanted to let you know that your fears are very well founded. The ocean is the most unexplored frontier left on the planet, and the idea that a 60-120ft long shark is "fantasy" (as some Chewers have remarked) is a woefully ignorant position. I have an entire album dedicated to my fear of the water. It showcases the monstrous abominations that I worry may well lurk there. There's alot of documentation for large sea creatures of unknown origin, so stay afraid and stay out of the water!
post #41 of 93
Yeah... you really couldn't pay me to get into the ocean at this point.
post #42 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Yeah... you really couldn't pay me to get into the ocean at this point.
Sissies, all of ya! If I'm going to go out in some ridiculous way, let it be at the flippers of a gibungous shark. I will fight like Quint and my death will be glorious. The natives will sing my legend for generations to come.
post #43 of 93
More people are killed by elephants each year than by sharks, yet nobody shits themselves silly about the circus.
post #44 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
More people are killed by elephants each year than by sharks, yet nobody shits themselves silly about the circus.
I do, but only because I was raped by a clown at one once.
post #45 of 93
Falling coconuts kill 15 times the number of people than sharks do each year.
post #46 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Bean View Post
Falling coconuts kill 15 times the number of people than sharks do each year.
Well, that settles it. Now I'll never go to Gilligan's Island.
post #47 of 93
I'm really going to be a victim of my own hubris next time I go to the beach and an elephant kills me with a coconut.
post #48 of 93
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Sissies, all of ya! If I'm going to go out in some ridiculous way, let it be at the flippers of a gibungous shark. I will fight like Quint and my death will be glorious. The natives will sing my legend for generations to come.
Unless the shark rapes you first, then eats you...that wouldnt be legend material.
post #49 of 93
I don't know, the Legend of Rape Shark sounds pretty badass.
post #50 of 93
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
I don't know, the Legend of Rape Shark sounds pretty badass.
"And then the beast, in post-coital bliss, looked upon the ravaged, still alive remains of Mattioli, and with teary eyes it decided to devour him to spare him any more suffering...and heartbreak."
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