CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Bruce the shark may exist, and its a cannibal!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Bruce the shark may exist, and its a cannibal! - Page 2

post #51 of 93
11/3/09 at 2:08pm
"We're gonna need a bigger rape kit."
Reply
post #52 of 93
11/3/09 at 2:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Bean View Post
Falling coconuts kill 15 times the number of people than sharks do each year.
And the worst part is that you're dead before you ever get to hear the comical "DOINK!" sound effect.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette View Post
"We're gonna need a bigger rape kit."
"You bet your ass we will!"

Reply
post #53 of 93
11/3/09 at 3:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
And the worst part is that you're dead before you ever get to hear the comical "DOINK!" sound effect.



"You bet your ass we will!"
Da dummmmm!

Talk about a Special Victims Unit case.....

And everyone knows sharks use cocoanuts to cover for their heinous crimes. They're diabolical.
Reply
post #54 of 93
11/3/09 at 3:21pm
Thread Starter 


"People of the jury, does this shark look like a rapist and a killer to you?"
Reply
post #55 of 93
11/3/09 at 3:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
"People of the jury, does this shark look like a rapist and a killer to you?"
Yes, he does! Look at the winning toothy grin, and the cute way he cocks his head to the right. That's how he gets his unwitting victims to lower their defenses, and then BAM! He rapes them. I mean, if I saw that coming towards me, I'd totally get all weak in the knees. And not from fear - from girlish giddiness.
Reply
post #56 of 93
11/3/09 at 4:08pm
"Everyone knows Mattioli was asking for it. Just look at how he romps in the ocean in that skimpy swimsuit. He's a rape waiting to happen."
Reply
post #57 of 93
11/3/09 at 4:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post
"Everyone knows Mattioli was asking for it. Just look at how he romps in the ocean in that skimpy swimsuit. He's a rape waiting to happen."
"I feel partly to blame. When he was screaming and flailing around in the water, I just thought he was having a good time. I had no idea the shark was raping him. I stood there on the shore like an idiot, smiling and waving at him."
Reply
post #58 of 93
11/3/09 at 5:21pm
This thread got real amazing real fast.
Reply
post #59 of 93
11/3/09 at 5:29pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Bean View Post
This thread got real amazing real fast.
Thats because we added interspecies rape.
Reply
post #60 of 93
11/3/09 at 5:34pm
I'm really surprised this hasn't veered into anime tentacle territory yet.
Reply
post #61 of 93
11/3/09 at 5:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Thats because we added interspecies rape.
I blame Millette, ryoken, and Alex B.
Reply
post #62 of 93
11/3/09 at 6:01pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I blame Millette, ryoken, and Alex B.
You were part of the gang too, you backstabbing tart!
Reply
post #63 of 93
11/3/09 at 6:03pm
I'm gonna blow the lid off of "Shark Week" next year.

My first hint something was wrong came when the shark started shoving me up against a pinball machine. My second came when I realized there was a pinball machine under the water.
Reply
post #64 of 93
11/3/09 at 6:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
I'm gonna blow the lid off of "Shark Week" next year.

My first hint something was wrong came when the shark started shoving me up against a pinball machine. My second came when I realized there was a pinball machine under the water.
Let me guess...
Was this the table where it happened?
Reply
post #65 of 93
11/3/09 at 7:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
You were part of the gang too, you backstabbing tart!
No, no! I swear, I was just waving to Mattioli from the shore! That's all!
Reply
post #66 of 93
11/3/09 at 7:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
No, no! I swear, I was just waving to Mattioli from the shore! That's all!
No, you were not..you laughed, you laughed and laughed as the shark had his way with him! you said he had it coming for wearing that "man whore tight speedo"!
Reply
post #67 of 93
11/3/09 at 7:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
No, you were not..you laughed, you laughed and laughed as the shark had his way with him! you said he had it coming for wearing that "man whore tight speedo"!
What exactly are you implying? Are you implying that I maybe acted as a look-out for the shark while he raped Mattioli? Is that what you're saying? Oh, sure, maybe I encouraged the shark to "go for the dirty pillows!", but god, I was just kidding! I didn't think he'd really do it!
Reply
post #68 of 93
11/3/09 at 7:24pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
What exactly are you implying? Are you implying that I maybe acted as a look-out for the shark while he raped Mattioli? Is that what you're saying? Oh, sure, maybe I encouraged the shark to "go for the dirty pillows!", but god, I was just kidding! I didn't think he'd really do it!
You we're more than a lookout; i saw you put that pill in Matioli's pre-swimming drink! You left him defenseless! He just floated there and took it!
Reply
post #69 of 93
11/3/09 at 7:59pm
Just so you know: male sharks have 2 penises. Food for thought. No pun intended.
Reply
post #70 of 93
11/3/09 at 8:02pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
Just so you know: male sharks have 2 penises. Food for thought. No pun intended.
Oh god...Mattioli got gang raped?
Reply
post #71 of 93
11/3/09 at 8:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I blame Millette, ryoken, and Alex B.
Kindly re-read Post #12. I know I went the other way on it, but still. . .
Reply
post #72 of 93
11/3/09 at 8:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Oh god...Mattioli got gang raped?
You shut your mouth, your dirty, dirty tramp mouth.
Reply
post #73 of 93
11/3/09 at 8:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
You shut your mouth, your dirty, dirty tramp mouth.
You enjoyed it, you sick slut!
Reply
post #74 of 93
11/3/09 at 8:46pm
Backs slowly out of thread..
Reply
post #75 of 93
11/3/09 at 9:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
Kindly re-read Post #12. I know I went the other way on it, but still. . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
I hope they catch it or it escapes before O'Callaghan tries to rape it.
But two penises! It could rape Mattioli AND O'Callaghan at the same time! It would need a pinball machine AND a pool table!
Reply
post #76 of 93
11/3/09 at 10:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
"I feel partly to blame. When he was screaming and flailing around in the water, I just thought he was having a good time. I had no idea the shark was raping him. I stood there on the shore like an idiot, smiling and waving at him."
Oh come on, just see him at the scene of the crime, he's asking for it...




Reply
post #77 of 93
11/4/09 at 12:08am
"So, what do we have here?"

"Well, Caine, we've got the victim, a Mr. Mattioli, who was allegedly raped and eaten by a great white."

"Finally! A fucking case I can sink my teeth into!"

YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply
post #78 of 93
11/4/09 at 9:23am
nice!!!
Reply
post #79 of 93
11/4/09 at 12:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excellent, gentlemen!
Reply
post #80 of 93
11/4/09 at 12:49pm
Don't worry, it's under control:

Reply
post #81 of 93
11/4/09 at 4:18pm
I totally know how to defeat that MegaShark.

Or, I'll just choke the bastard. EAT IT!

Reply
post #82 of 93
11/4/09 at 4:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Dog
Oh come on, just see him at the scene of the crime, he's asking for it...
The worst part of all is the shark kept panting, "Smile, you son of a bitch!" in my ear.

*runs sobbing out of thread*
Reply
post #83 of 93
11/4/09 at 4:30pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
The worst part of all is the shark kept panting, "Smile, you son of a bitch!" in my ear.

*runs sobbing out of thread*
"Those cheeks stay open!"
Reply
post #84 of 93
11/4/09 at 4:35pm
"We're gonna need a bigger--"

*interrupted as portal to Hell opens beneath me*
Reply
post #85 of 93
11/4/09 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
"We're gonna need a bigger--"

*interrupted as portal to Hell opens beneath me*
Why am I now picturing Irreversible starring Robert Shaw?
Reply
post #86 of 93
11/4/09 at 4:51pm
"And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he rapes ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rape you to pieces."
Reply
post #87 of 93
11/4/09 at 9:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
The worst part of all is the shark kept panting, "Smile, you son of a bitch!" in my ear.

*runs sobbing out of thread*
It's your own fault! You saw how engorged his dorsal fin was, and you kept on teasing him, didn't you? Whore.
Reply
post #88 of 93
11/4/09 at 10:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
"And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he rapes ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rape you to pieces."
Mattioli goes in the cage... cage goes in the water... rape shark's in the water... our rape shark.

Singing - "Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies... farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain..."
Reply
post #89 of 93
11/4/09 at 10:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
I totally know how to defeat that MegaShark.

Or, I'll just choke the bastard. EAT IT!
I had one of those. Lot of fun, as I recall. Much imaginary rep to Mattioli & Dickson.

Panting "Smile you son of a bitch!" *tee hee!* I'll be giggling about that for days.
Reply
post #90 of 93
11/5/09 at 11:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
Panting "Smile you son of a bitch!" *tee hee!* I'll be giggling about that for days.
Well, I'm soooooo glad you find my situation funny.

Bastard.
Reply
post #91 of 93
11/5/09 at 12:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Well, I'm soooooo glad you find my situation funny.

Bastard.
Well, if you'd stop wearing that dress Monica Bellucci wore in Irreversible, they'd stop accusing you of enticing the shark. Slut.
Reply
post #92 of 93
11/5/09 at 10:13pm


"I don't think either of one you are familiar with our problems."

"I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and FUCKS YOU UP THE ASS!"
Reply
post #93 of 93
11/6/09 at 12:07am
Perfect, Tim!
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Misc. Culture
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Bruce the shark may exist, and its a cannibal!