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SPOILERS! The Bad Guys in BATTLESHIP Revealed!

post #1 of 26
11/6/09 at 8:19pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/21...HIP/Page1.html
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post #2 of 26
11/6/09 at 8:45pm
WTF. I'm honestly surprised Hasbro agreed to slap their brand on that. Interesting nonetheless. But I'm still at a loss as to the logistics of a naval battle against aliens.
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post #3 of 26
11/6/09 at 8:45pm
I really have no idea what to think of that news. It could be amazing, like Predator on a huge scale, or it could be really, really awful. I don't know if I have enough of an opinion on Berg to make a guess as to which way it'll go.
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post #4 of 26
11/6/09 at 8:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthLowbudget@ View Post
WTF. I'm honestly surprised Hasbro agreed to slap their brand on that. Interesting nonetheless. But I'm still at a loss as to the logistics of a naval battle against aliens.
Battleship + Aliens = Transformers. That's what Hasbro is thinking. $$$
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post #5 of 26
11/6/09 at 8:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Allen View Post
Battleship + Aliens = Transformers. That's what Hasbro is thinking. $$$
And considering the only good parts of the original Transformers (I didn't see the sequel) were the scenes toward the beginning involving the military, that might not be such a bad thing.
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post #6 of 26
11/6/09 at 9:16pm
I wonder if making them aliens somehow helps to preserve the original structure of the game. They're not attacking from Earth - they're attacking from Space! We can't see them! They've given us a general idea of their location and we have to try to shoot them out of orbit! If we don't destroy their entire fleet in a certain amount of time (shots?) the Earth is doomed!

Ugh, I feel dumber for having even typed that, let alone thinking it.
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post #7 of 26
11/6/09 at 9:22pm
WHAT!? They're completely fucking up the deep mythology of the original board game...


oh wait...
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post #8 of 26
11/6/09 at 9:45pm
I'd kind of like to see our modern day Navy take on sea monsters.

If it's aliens, though, I hope this batch isn't allergic to water.
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post #9 of 26
11/6/09 at 9:57pm
DarthLowBudget@, An...Earth battle fleet vs aliens? This sounds like a more Earthbound...Space Battleship Yamato!
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post #10 of 26
11/6/09 at 10:13pm
This is almost as awesome as the Human trained dinosaur commandos that were going to be in Jurassic Park 4. Almost.
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post #11 of 26
11/6/09 at 10:39pm
This is fucking genius!!! Berg is seriously a fucking genius. I mean, take a completely goofy idea you wanna do and find some way to wrap it into a property (concept) that happens to be hot in hollywood. I mean, why not try and make a medieval war film and call it CHESS!?!?!? Or do a movie like American Beauty and call it LIFE?


Seriously...the possibilities are endless!
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post #12 of 26
11/6/09 at 10:54pm
Listened to Berg's interview with Bill Simmons for 'King's Ransom' a few weeks ago. Said he was excited for Battleship, said he was 'really feeling it.'
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post #13 of 26
11/6/09 at 11:35pm
I think it sounds sort of cool. I'd rather see money spent on this then some fucking vampire movie.
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post #14 of 26
11/7/09 at 12:44am
Someone semi-jokingly guessed in a previous thread that aliens would be in this, didn't they?

ETA:

Yep...

http://www.chud.com/forum/showpost.p...43&postcount=8
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post #15 of 26
11/7/09 at 12:46am
I can't wait for the video game adaptation of Baffleshit
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post #16 of 26
11/7/09 at 1:25am
A certain scene in Batman Forever was close enough for a Battleship movie. Man that movie blew.
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post #17 of 26
11/7/09 at 1:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMushnik View Post
And considering the only good parts of the original Transformers (I didn't see the sequel) were the scenes toward the beginning involving the military, that might not be such a bad thing.
God this movie is going to be horrible, even if it's half as retarded as what happened in Transformers.
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post #18 of 26
11/7/09 at 1:44am
I wish the movie was about some producers making a stupid movie based on battleship. That could work.
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post #19 of 26
11/7/09 at 1:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by JGButler View Post
I wonder if making them aliens somehow helps to preserve the original structure of the game. They're not attacking from Earth - they're attacking from Space! We can't see them! They've given us a general idea of their location and we have to try to shoot them out of orbit! If we don't destroy their entire fleet in a certain amount of time (shots?) the Earth is doomed!
No, we'll get a shot inside the alien command ship, and tracking the movements of the Earth navy will be a big board that looks just like the game.
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post #20 of 26
11/7/09 at 4:01am
Could these possibly all be space battles, with the 5 ships in the naval fleet being spaceships on patrol in orbit? A futuristic update to the battleship scenario, to coincide with a new version of the game set in space, maybe? It would also capitalize on the popularity of Star Trek.
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post #21 of 26
11/7/09 at 1:55pm
This pretty much kills my enthusiasm for the film. Previously I'd been excited by the prospect of modern Naval Combat :
Quote:
I am more than a little confused by the enthusiasm for this new found trend of turning amusement park rides and board games into feature films. Sure, it worked for 'Pirates', but seems a stretch to think it was the property that drew people in and not a swishy Johnny Depp.

Let me say this flat out: Battleship was never my favorite board game. It required no skill, and victory seemed predicated upon random chance. It did not even give me the feeling of being part of a battle. More like playing blind bingo.

With that said, I am very excited to learn the planned adaptation is not a WW2 era film. I have seen enough WW2 naval action for one lifetime. I do not know why I assumed this film would take place in that era. I guess growing up with a father who is a WW2 vet, I always associated that conflict with the mind numbing "game".

Berg is a competent action director. His hand to hand and close quarters combat in the Kingdom was near masterful, reaching for heights of tense realism previously approached only by Michael Mann. However his larger special effects orientented action in Handcock was utterly awful. messy, and uninteresting it sucked me out of that movie.

So, while I am far from certain then what kind of a match he will be for ship-to-ship combat. I'm curious to find out how he'll fare (Or, should I say, Sea Fare!). Today's destroyers, aircraft carriers, and subs are floating Armageddon sin waiting, many armed with multiple reentry ICBMs, along with tactical nukes and other devastating weapons destined to make an appearance in WW3. As bad ass as some of these ships and boats are, we'll never get to see them in use.

At this point in history, any full scale naval battle will either lead to, or occur as part of, a third world war. No one will be left to watch footage of the fancy death machines doing their thing on YouTube after the fighting dies down. That's because there will be no more YouTube.

The opportunity to see the most advanced warships of this age engage in all out naval combat , without worrying about the Fall Out (no pun intended!!) , is a rare chance and perhaps enough reason to get me back in an actual movie theater. Spectacle and speakers are the only reasons I go these days, as the constant barrage of cell phone calls and idiot children are enough to keep me at home in front of my HDTV with headphones on for 95% of all studio releases.

I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want to find out who or what Peter Berg decides to put on the other end of this volley:
Now though that it's moving away from realistic depictions of mordern naval warfare to silly sci-fi (with boats!), my interest level has dropped from COD:MW2 release anticipation to Blacksite 2: Area 51 apathy
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post #22 of 26
11/7/09 at 9:48pm
I'll try and give Berg the benefit of the doubt and believe that he did this because he didn't want to put out another jingoistic American military movie where we wipe out the evil Chinese or Russians or whomever; in this economy Hollywood can't afford to throw away millions of dollars because the Chinese government gets offended (they just throw it away allowing China to pirate millions of DVDs). Besides, with Red Dawn on the horizon we'll get plenty of that backlash in worthless, harshly-worded letters direct from China's PR machine (Somehow they'll put it all on Obama). But if he pulls an ID4 and the good guys take out the alien "fleet" with an electronic Battleship board wired directly into the real Battleship's launch interface, well then...shit.
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post #23 of 26
11/7/09 at 10:35pm
the only 'battleship' I'd care to see would be a movie about a post-apocalyptic earth,
where the only forces of order left are some US Navy commanders who manage to restore peace and even create an empire made-up of a dozen coastal cities.

Meanwhile the gang running the inland empire is beginning to deteriorate because all the honest, hardworking people are migrating to the coast, and the so the inland empire promises a reward to any naval power who defeats the remnant force of the US Navy.

So, with Somalian pirates, remnants of the Chinese Navy and the badass Russian pirates appear as challengers, trying to defeat the outnumbered US Navy in a series of glorious battles.
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post #24 of 26
11/8/09 at 2:50am
The only version you are willing to watch is horrifyingly specific.
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post #25 of 26
11/8/09 at 8:20pm
I don't have a big enough "Ugh" icon for this nonsense. You all have the diminished expectations of battered wives these days. This idea has 'retarded drivel' written all over it.

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post #26 of 26
11/9/09 at 4:19am
Laying the groundwork for the sequel already...

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