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Spider-Man vs. Batman

post #1 of 56
Thread Starter 
My buddy and I are arguing over this. The scenario:

1. One fight. First meeting. No time for either to regroup and figure out a way to defeat the other.
2. For both: standard equipment.
3. Not the '70s doormat Spider-Man either. You know, the one who had trouble with Tarantula, the Hitman (yeah, I know he was sick), Jackal, Batroc, etc. Both Bats and Spidey in their primes.

I've got Webhead. Has this ever been done before? I stopped buying comics almost 20 years ago, so I don't know. I know Batman beat Captain America, but Spidey ain't Cap.
post #2 of 56
Batman's a supremely trained fighter and athlete, but he's not super-human. Spidey would take him.

But Batman would take the rematch. Batman ALWAYS takes the rematch.
post #3 of 56
If Batman can take out the likes of Bane, Killer Croc, and the Riddler, he can take out the bug.

Batman has knockout spray in his utility belt. That ALWAYS takes out Spidey. Then the Caped Crusader parks the Batmobile on Spidey's chest.

Batman with the win.
post #4 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Oliver View Post

I've got Webhead. Has this ever been done before? I stopped buying comics almost 20 years ago, so I don't know. I know Batman beat Captain America, but Spidey ain't Cap.
I have a Batman/Spider-man comic from the 90's where they team up to fight the Joker and Carnage. It's pretty awful. They have a scuffle when they first meet but it pretty much ends with a draw.

The problem with your scenario is that if they existed in the same universe, Batman would know everything about Spider-man and how to beat him. For Spidey to have the advantage it would require them to exist in totally separate realities beforehand.
post #5 of 56
Batman would reason with Spider-Man and they would become friends.
post #6 of 56
Batman would have a spider repellent.

That, or he'd buy out the Daily Bugle, have Pete fired, make fun of Mary Jane (if he had time he'd have Bruce Wayne date her), and Spidey would stress out, lose his powers, Batman would then proceed to make Peter cry.

I've had this conversation as well, Batman always wins.
post #7 of 56
If Spider-Man were to cut loose, using his powers, he'd cripple or kill Batman. But, since Spidey's moral code always has him hold back a bit when fighting non-superpowered folk, Batman would probably take him on skill and sneakiness.
post #8 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Oliver View Post
My buddy and I are arguing over this. The scenario:

1. One fight. First meeting. No time for either to regroup and figure out a way to defeat the other.
2. For both: standard equipment.
3. Not the '70s doormat Spider-Man either. You know, the one who had trouble with Tarantula, the Hitman (yeah, I know he was sick), Jackal, Batroc, etc. Both Bats and Spidey in their primes.

I've got Webhead. Has this ever been done before? I stopped buying comics almost 20 years ago, so I don't know. I know Batman beat Captain America, but Spidey ain't Cap.
I feel your pain! A buddy and I have been arguing over who'll win.. A Jedi or Spiderman..I mean really..Jedi all the way

Oh and Spider-Man would beat Bat-Man..but if Bat-Man was on the hunt for an un-suspecting Spider-Man..then Bat-Man has it due to his smarts and resources.
post #9 of 56
Batman is human.

Spider-man can lift up to 10 tons.

One punch to the face, which he could easily pull off with his reflexes, dodging Batman's attacks etc...cmon, think like a vulcan...think logically.
post #10 of 56
Batman would think logically too:
"hey Oracle, call Clark Kent, he owes me a favor"
post #11 of 56
Batman would figure out a way to beat God.
post #12 of 56
Spiderman's Spidey Sense means that he is always prepared for an attack, and he has strength and reflexes multiple times stronger than Batman's.

Spidey and it's not even close.
post #13 of 56
Spider-Man's spidey sense works if Batman isn't physically attacking. Batman plays mind games. Imagine Batman with a symbiont suit?
post #14 of 56
This seems basically a litmus teston whether you think brains or brawn matter more in a fight.
post #15 of 56
I think Batman would figure out some way to exploit Spidey's spider sense while he's busy making fun of Batman's ears.
post #16 of 56
He's the GODDAMN BATMAN. Ofcourse he wins.
post #17 of 56
When will they learn...


Batman always wins.
post #18 of 56
NEEERDS.

Anyway, if they just happened to bump into each other, Spider-Man would win. No contest.
If they knew they were going to fight Batman would win. Isn't it canon that a prepared Batman can defeat anyone?
post #19 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Isn't it canon that a prepared Batman can defeat anyone?
True, hell a prepared Batman can take on Superman
post #20 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian OB View Post
Batman would figure out a way to beat God.
This.
post #21 of 56


NERDS!!!!!!!! (for Stelios as well)

(I kid, I kid. I'd take Batman)
post #22 of 56
Parker all the way.
Spidey:
-has superhuman strength, speed, and reflexes, plus spider-sense and the abity to climb anything
-is AT LEAST as smart as Batman. He's a science nerd, remember.
-a megawatt smile* and devastating wit

Batman:
-smart, gadgets, a strong, well-trained, and disciplined fighter
-many of his advantages are negated by being in an unexpected fight rather than one he pre-planned.
-as fast as he is, he's still just a man. Plus, again: spider-sense.

HOWEVER, if Spidey wanders into Bats home turf of Gotham, I'll give them even odds. Home field advantage for Batman should be huge. He's prepared, I bet he has safehouses, weapons caches, and traps all over Gotham.

*the phrase "megawatt smile" makes me want to puke through my fingers. Anyone else?
post #23 of 56
Spider-man all the way.
post #24 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Oliver View Post
3. Not the '70s doormat Spider-Man either. You know, the one who had trouble with Tarantula, the Hitman (yeah, I know he was sick), Jackal, Batroc, etc. Both Bats and Spidey in their primes.
Spider-Man at his prime?



Batman has zero chance against Captain Universe Spider-Man.
post #25 of 56
Spider-Man... Batman could figure out a way to beat him eventually but in a first meeting of super-human Spider-Man and human Batman it's a no contest. Bane broke Batman's back the first time they met and really; who the fuck is Bane!?
post #26 of 56
Batman figured out a way to stop the Hulk in hand to hand combat. I'm not saying Spider-Man can't kick his ass, I'm just saying it won't be easy.
post #27 of 56
I see your Captain Universe Spider-Man and raise you.....



Tell me the strongest will of the DC universe with a GL ring wouldn't be able to take out virtually anyone short of Galactus.
LL
post #28 of 56
The scenario would play out thusly:

Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne bump into each other in Akron, Ohio. "Why, Akron?" you ask? National Inventors Hall of Fame, naturally. As two highly inventive superheroes, it's a natural draw for these two characters who often create gadgets of their own. Peter would be visiting of his own accord while Bruce has been invited to give a speech commemorating a new wing of the building/an exhibit on some outlandish, plot-important display of possibly villainous technology.

A line in Bruce's speech about the loss of his parents at a young age, particularly his father, and how it drove him to become the man he is today, strikes an emotional resonance with Peter. Managing to run into Bruce checking out an exhibit alone, Peter expresses his admiration for the speech and shares his own tragic history along with some of his inventions. The two bond and seem to start a small friendship. They even go to brunch!

BUT THEN!

Oh noes! The Mad Hatter has teamed up with the abominable Hypno Huster, truly one of Spider-Man's greatest foes from the past, to steal the inventions on display. Because it enhances their hypnotic abilities, why not.

As the crowd flees/becomes hypnotized, Bruce and Peter slip away and into costume. Their attempts to fight the menace goes as expected. They get in each other's way, Batman grunts about Spider-Man's lack of professionalism, Spider-Man keeps callin' Batman "Batty" and cracking jokes about capes and what his "bat-powers" are "Can't you find those guys with your sonar?" etc.

The duo manages to subdue the crowd/save the inventions, but the bad guys get away. Spider-Man mentions a possible teamup to capture them, but Batman goes it alone. Of course, he can't get rid of Spider-Man who trails him by using a spidertracer which he uses to follow Batman to the seedy part of Akron.

Batman being Batman, he's aware of the tracer all along and tries to ambush Spider-Man to slow him down. Spidey's spidersense saves him at first, but Bruce becomes wise to his foes seemingly precognitive abilities. Using his vast strategic knowledge and superior fighting skills, Batman brings the skirmish to a standstill. The two glower at eachother a bit, Webhead slings a few quips, when suddenly an off-hand comment made by one of them clues each of them in to who the other actually is.

The two heroes, being the most melodramatic inner-monologuers of their respective comic universes, have a slightly sad heart-to-heart as they each express, for several lifeless panels, why they do what they do.

Now truly teaming up, the two proceed to take down Mad Hatter and Hypno Hustler. Which takes all of five minutes because it's Mad Hatter and Hypno Hustler.

And so we come to the conclusion of Spider-Man/Batman: Frenemies.
post #29 of 56
I'd post oldbrucewayne, but that might be so meta it would destroy the internet.
post #30 of 56
Really, guys?


Batman, hands motherfucking down.
post #31 of 56
"Spider-Man, what's that behind you?"

"Um, nothing, Batman."

"Yes it is. That's a Spider-Mobile, isn't it?"

"Pfffft. No."

"Hahahahahahahaha."
post #32 of 56
post #33 of 56
man look at that walrus jamming the fuck out
post #34 of 56
post #35 of 56
The seedy part of Akron is Akron.
post #36 of 56
Long range fighting, i'm going with spidey because batman wouldnt be able to hit him with a batarang due to that spider-sense and super agility.
Close range, Spidey's got the edge on strenght, but Batman's training and martial arts skills would mean defeat if he gets a hold on him...and he's used to take on guys with super strenght.
I'd go with tie; by the end both would be exhausted and used up all their resources/moves.
post #37 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Augustine View Post
The seedy part of Akron is Akron.
Yeah, there's like a single block that is kind of nice in downtown/the area he's talking about, and even then, it has porn shops and closed down buildings on it. There's a good reason why the surrounding suburbs aren't called Akron.

Also, the Inventors Hall of Fame closed down for reconstruction years ago.
post #38 of 56
Well, damn. And every other part of my story featuring Batman and Spider-Man was so thoroughly fact-checked for realism.
post #39 of 56
No time for either to regroup and figure out a way to defeat the other

This condition is an impossibility when it comes to Batman because five years prior to the dimensional rift that brings the two disparate universes together, Batman will have already deduced the possibility of running into a man gifted arachnid like abilities from the bite of a radioactive spider (how he deduced this, we don't know, except that he's Batman, and that's just the way shit goes and the reason that the first term of the fight listed can neverm ever work). Knowing that a battle betwixt the two is inevitable, Batman sends a super-secret cypher text to Hourman, asking the fellow superhero to develop a Miraclo suppository to be employed discreetly during this inevasible conflict.

The battle comes, the Miraclo suppository dissolves in Batman's rectum, and for one full hour he beats the ever-loving dogshit out of our unsuspecting, friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man.

I'm pretty sure that this is exactly how it would go down.
post #40 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Vivisector View Post
I see your Captain Universe Spider-Man and raise you.....

Tell me the strongest will of the DC universe with a GL ring wouldn't be able to take out virtually anyone short of Galactus.
Pft.

GL ring is nothing against the powers granted by the Uni-Power.

Quote:
Powers and abilities

Captain Universe generally possesses superhuman strength, flight, Uni-Vision (microscopic vision, X-ray vision, and telescopic vision), telekinesis, enhanced senses, and a psychic awareness of imminent danger; when a person already possessing one or more of these abilities was transformed into Captain Universe, those abilities were amplified by vast amounts. Some manifestations of the Uni-Power have demonstrated other, less common abilities as well as failing to exhibit some of the more 'usual' powers, which vary in intensity with each wielder according to the strength and imagination of each. Captain Universe usually possesses the ability of molecular rearrangement of organic and inorganic matter, transmutation of elements, the ability to fire bursts of energy and concussive force, hypnosis (using the Uni-Vision energy). Possessing its own sentience, the Uni-Power can and will abandon a host if necessary, or if said host uses or intends to use the granted abilities in a detrimental or criminal fashion.
He can rearrange matter and transmute elements, vs the GL ring which makes stupid looking giant boxing gloves to punch people.
post #41 of 56
I say put 'em both up against Sugar and Spike. Comics gold I tells ya!

post #42 of 56
I feel like I'm only feeding the monster, but the thing about Captain Universe is that it is fleeting.

It chooses its host based by random acts of amazing courage. It leaves when it wants to leave. Captain Uni style Spidey would be an unpredictable element that might take out Bats. Due to the uncertain nature of the Uni-Force, Parker is left wide open to having the multitude of Bat-Family hangers-on attack him.

No one wants to get shot in the face by the Huntress or Jason Todd. You might've beat Batman, but you got dropped by Batman's retarded Robin. Then, there's that hunchback guy that Batman was keeping his Batcave as some sort of Girl Friday.

Imagine the level of 'tard loyalty there. That raging hunchback freak flying at you with the strength of ten gorillas. Then, there's Alfred. Finally coming to terms with his secret love of Bruce, he gets the drop on you while the others are overwhelming your spider-senses.

How does that get explained to Aunt May or Mephisto or Joe Quesada's marinara stained nutsack? Sorry, guys. An 80 year old British actor turned spy turned surgeon turned Aunt Harriet wrangler shot Parker in the face with a blunderbuss.

Captain Universe only leads to trouble.
post #43 of 56
Didn't Batman beat Superman TWICE? I'm pretty sure that no matter who Batman fights, Batman will win.
post #44 of 56
This fucking thread.
post #45 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater View Post
This fucking thread.
Lets get that wasn't robert at all guy to write something.
Though some of the posts already made border on that.
post #46 of 56
The funny thing is you can do a Batman vs. Anyone thread and the results would be the same. Batman wins. Every. Time.
post #47 of 56
This thread even hurts my brain and I used to be a regular at superhero hype!

Oh, and for the record, Batman.
post #48 of 56
I'm sorry, but if there is one spontaneous fight between them, and provided they are trying to kill the other, Spider-Man would take it.

They're both super kick ass, and had there been time to plan, Batman would probably find a way to defeat the Spider.

But in a one off, out of the blue fight, Spider-Man no contest.

Bruce Wayne may have trained himself to his physical and mental peak,
But Peter Parker was already a freaky little genius boy BEFORE the spider bit him and tuned him up to his physical peak.
Couple the brains with the super strength AND throw in the agility.
OH and we cannot forget the Spider-Sense, so basically anything Batman could use to disable Spider-Man would miss it's mark.

Lots of love to both, but yeah, Spider-Man.
post #49 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigeroovy View Post
OH and we cannot forget the Spider-Sense, so basically anything Batman could use to disable Spider-Man would miss it's mark.

Like Bats wouldn't just use some mental mojo or something to throw off Spidey's spider-sense. Hrmpf!
post #50 of 56
Let's not forget the fact that Spider-man's much heralded "Spidey Sense" still has managed to get him knocked around by such untalented scrubs as the Rhino, Vulture, Shocker, and the Goblins, and he got his ass kicked, tranq darted and buried alive by Kraven the Hunter who was basically Jungle Batman without all the tech. It's hardly the untouchable factor people seem to think.

But, it does tie back to the biggest issue (besides it being really nerdy) with these Comic Book Character vs Comic Book Character fights - the characters are only limited by how powerful the writer needed them to be at any given moment. Spider-man needs to take a hit? Okay, the freaking Vulture, an 80 year old man that can sort-of glide around just took him out. Yet two issues later Spidey will defeat the entire Sinister Six single-handed because that particular mini-series needed to end.

Now we've seen Spider-man struggle against a senior citizen, and we've seen him dodging 8 mechanical arms, 20 pumpkin bombs, electricity bolts, a scorpion tail and a charging rhino all simultaneously. Which one shows up in the Batman fight? You can't make a catch-all "prime Spidey" who will dodge literally anything and out-sense his way past any combat, yet dismiss "prime Bats" who seemingly is prepared for any eventuality, has not only outwitted but outfought numerous Super Strength toting foes and is still the World's Greatest Detective and would figure out the Spidey-Sense pretty quickly.

But there I go revealing my own writer's bias.

And that I'm a huge nerd.

..fuck you guys..
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