CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE MAIN SEWER › CHUD.COM Main › Ten Terrific Turkeys
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Ten Terrific Turkeys

post #1 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:21pm
Thread Starter 
http://chud.com/articles/articles/21...EYS/Page1.html
Reply
post #2 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:35pm
Great list. I've seen Commando too many times to mention. Any films with classic lines like: "Remember when I promised to kill you last Sonny? I lied." and "Please, don't wake my friend - he's dead tired."

I need to see The Room in a packed theater though. Sounds epic.
Reply
post #3 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:36pm
Great list, but I think I'd dump Superman IV for either Samurai Cop or Burial Ground.
Reply
post #4 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:38pm
I will stand up and say I love both Commado and Krull, and I don't care.

Great list though.
Reply
post #5 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Savage View Post
I will stand up and say I love both Commado and Krull, and I don't care.

Great list though.

That makes two of us (Also, no "Yor"? come on!).
Also, Zardoz gave us Sean Connery in a wedding dress, truly an imagr to posterity.
Reply
post #6 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:49pm
I remember being a kid and being incredibly excited for Krull. I was sure it was going to be totally awesome. To this day I don't think I've ever managed to make it through the whole movie.

Is The Room really worth the waste of time?
Reply
post #7 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:50pm
Great list... but also great call on Burial Ground Jacknife! Mine would've very likely run more horrorcentric. I love horror so there's that, but also it tends to throw up the regular toss rag of tantalizing shit that many of us fans cannot resist no matter how hard we try.

For my money, this list is gold... but still I lament the non-appearance of 'The Manitou' and 'Prophecy'
Reply
post #8 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:50pm
Thread Starter 
THE MANITOU! Damn.
Reply
post #9 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:54pm
Thread Starter 
I did a thing on THE MANITOU recently, but I can't find it. It's also on CHUD's Guiltiest Pleasures list from 2007.
Reply
post #10 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:56pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.chud.com/articles/article...ONE/Page1.html
Reply
post #11 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:57pm
The Commando inclusion seems there just to stir the B-Movie Thread guys. However, I've now made my mission in life to not die before having seen all the listed. And I don't care if it takes me 243 years.

Great article, yep. Had me in tears more than once, and not only for the YouTubes (that Happening clip - I believe on shooting day M.Night walked up on a soapbox and screamed to high heavens something like "Take that, ZAZ guys!"). Damn if you shouldn't bounce this piece to Digg ASAP.
Reply
post #12 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:58pm
Ah well,as long as the wretched piece of fantastic shit has had it's day on these pages count me as a happy bugger.

Edit: Just seen that link, had forgotten about that amazing series... a part 2 of that would be most welcome!
Reply
post #13 of 97
11/26/09 at 7:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
I did a thing on THE MANITOU recently, but I can't find it. It's also on CHUD's Guiltiest Pleasures list from 2007.

Here's the Guilty Pleasures linkl...good things should come in pairs
Reply
post #14 of 97
11/26/09 at 8:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
That whole feature was great; In fact Im re-reading it right now.
Reply
post #15 of 97
11/26/09 at 8:13pm
That list was tits. COMMANDO was actually on Cinemax today. My family gathered around the TV for the last half hour of the movie and guffawed. Can't beat that.
Reply
post #16 of 97
11/26/09 at 8:35pm
I can't believe I've gone 33 years on this planet without knowing of the existence of Night Of The Lepus - I had tears in my eyes by the end of that clip. Fantastic list Dev.

I remember being taken to Supes IV as a kid and it being part of my dawning realisation that not ever film was necassarily the best thing ever - and wondering what the fuck Jon Cryer was doing there. I also remember Krull freaking the crap out of me when I was a nipper because the evil 'stormtroopers' from it had these meaty, slug-like brains that when you cracked their heads open squeeled loudly and slinked away. God damn that gave me nightmares.
Reply
post #17 of 97
11/26/09 at 8:44pm
Great list! Unbelievable how many I have seen multiple times. I'm a glutton for awesome I guess. I also just watched The Room last night... I can't stop talking like that doucher now. I suspect my roommate will kill me before the weekend.

I'd like to give a special shout out to Roller Boogie. I can't tell you how many times I've watched this over the past year and here is a secret dating tip; the ladies seem to get a kick out of it too. You can't say that so much about Commando, Krull and Superman IV, so keep that in mind, ladies men.
Reply
post #18 of 97
11/26/09 at 9:29pm
Every time I've met someone that doesn't like Starship Troopers, they usually don't get the fact that it's a satire. I don't know how you can't understand that.
Reply
post #19 of 97
11/26/09 at 9:32pm
This list is great, for having Commando, which I love dearly and without shame, and Rock n' Roll Nightmare. It has THOR in it. THOR!!!!
Reply
post #20 of 97
11/26/09 at 9:38pm
The Happening is the Sarah Palin of movies.

Yeah, the cover looks okay, but did a little deeper and fuuuuck.

Oh yeah, don't be eyein' ma lemon drink!
Reply
post #21 of 97
11/26/09 at 9:40pm
I remember reading about Krull in Cinefantastique before it was released; my friends and I were completely stoked to see it. I was around 15 when it came out, and remember being pretty disappointed by it.

These days, I'd have to agree with its inclusion on this list - though I also agree part of its problem isn't the lack of quality, it's that stretches of it are so damn boring.

Love the scene when the Slayers come up out of the bog, though. And the cyclops steals the show. But it's the Giger Alien cum Xtreme Linebacker that takes the cake.
Reply
post #22 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:04pm
Zardoz cannot live up to the sheer strangeness of that trailer. It just isn't possible.
Reply
post #23 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:05pm
Great list, I just love it. I'm Going to track down some of those movies for sure, some of them sound incredible. I saw Troll 2 recently, its ridiculously funny. The Room is just a classic, and I love how the film keeps telling us this ugly girl is beautiful. Another film I found to be a terrific turkey was I know WHo Killed Me.
Reply
post #24 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:06pm
Quote:
After setting up the goody two shoes plot, the film then has way-overused villain Lex Luthor make a clone of Superman (but not Bizarro)...

I guess this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WjC7w9zWuE

is as close to Bizarro as they could legally portray. It's amazing that Supes 4 could have been worse than it already is.
Reply
post #25 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:26pm
Cameron Hughes, You say it is a...Satire? I got the satire in...Robocop, not so much in ST. Starship Troopers does however have the coolest space fleet very reminicient of a live action...Star Blazers/Space Battleship Yamato. Denise Richards is the hottest captain of a space ship...Ever!
Reply
post #26 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:27pm
Commando is just an...Awe-Inspiringly Awesome action film.
Reply
post #27 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Hughes View Post
Every time I've met someone that doesn't like Starship Troopers, they usually don't get the fact that it's a satire. I don't know how you can't understand that.
I don't like the movie because it's so damned long. That's the real key to a "so bad it's good" movie. It doesn't wear out it's welcome.

Transformers 2 could have been on a "so bad its good" list if it came in under 100 minutes. Look at that list Devin made, all but two are under 100 minutes and the two that are over are easily the hardest ones to get through (Krull and Zardoz).

I can't praise sub-100 minute films enough. I can sit and enjoy almost anything with decent pacing no matter how retarded at a 99 minute run time.

... okay... not ANYTHING but you know what I'm saying.
Reply
post #28 of 97
11/26/09 at 10:57pm
Starship Troopers belongs nowhere near this list... it is an actual good film; great film even, and not in a 'so bad it is awesome type way.
Reply
post #29 of 97
11/26/09 at 11:25pm
Zardoz is one of those movies I know I should hate, but I just can't. I freely admit that it's terrible, but I often find myself compelled to watch it nonetheless (and yes, I do own the DVD, and yes, I know I need help). I actually had a professor back in college who tried to claim that Zardoz was a good movie, and that's when I realized I was wasting all of my tuition money.
Reply
post #30 of 97
11/26/09 at 11:35pm
I just like that John Boorman actually did a commentary for the film. He seems to be one of those filmmakers that is, in some way or another, proud of all of his children, no matter if they're cherubs or mongoloids. I sort of appreciate that about him.
Reply
post #31 of 97
11/26/09 at 11:41pm
Commando is friggin' awesome, and I liked Zardoz when I saw it for the first time with my Dad a few years ago. The reveal of what Zardoz really means is indeed laugh inducing. I need to pick up the dvd.

I remember seeing Night Of The Lepus back when I was a kid, and coincidentally just bought the dvd from Amazon a few weeks ago. It's as hilarious as I remember. Love the noises the rabbits make.

I'm actually surprised that Predator 2 didn't make the list. I know a lot of people tend to think that's a really bad movie. It's more supreme awesomeness to me though.
Reply
post #32 of 97
11/26/09 at 11:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
I just like that John Boorman actually did a commentary for the film. He seems to be one of those filmmakers that is, in some way or another, proud of all of his children, no matter if their cherubs or mongoloids. I sort of appreciate that about him.
His commentary on that is actually pretty great, as it basically amounts to him saying over and over that his reach may have exceeded his grasp on this production. Plus, the one thing that I really love about Zardoz is that is the result of a truly singular vision. Boorman wrote, produced, and directed the film, and every frame comes from somewhere in his insane, loopy mind. I admire that, in a way.
Reply
post #33 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:06am
One word:

Starcrash.
Reply
post #34 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:19am
Great list Devin. I first saw Zardoz accidentally on TV when I was in elementary school, which probably didn't do any favors for my development as a human being.

It seems like reality is conspiring to get me to see The Room, so I guess I'll end up watching that sometime soon, if I can.
Reply
post #35 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
His commentary on that is actually pretty great, as it basically amounts to him saying over and over that his reach may have exceeded his grasp on this production. Plus, the one thing that I really love about Zardoz is that is the result of a truly singular vision. Boorman wrote, produced, and directed the film, and every frame comes from somewhere in his insane, loopy mind. I admire that, in a way.
Do you also admire The Exorcist II? I didn't until recently... but then I saw it. It's far too shit for this list I admit; but it is also insane and loopy; Boorman went that way sometimes I guess.
Reply
post #36 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthLowbudget@ View Post
Great list Devin. I first saw Zardoz accidentally on TV when I was in elementary school, which probably didn't do any favors for my development as a human being.
Holy balls, you too? i thought i was alone in having been warped as a young child by that film.
Im surprised I still haven't checked who voiced the Giant Stone Head in the film; and the ending was fucking terrifying as a kid.
Reply
post #37 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
His commentary on that is actually pretty great, as it basically amounts to him saying over and over that his reach may have exceeded his grasp on this production. Plus, the one thing that I really love about Zardoz is that is the result of a truly singular vision. Boorman wrote, produced, and directed the film, and every frame comes from somewhere in his insane, loopy mind. I admire that, in a way.
If he explains why and how he got Sean Connery in a wedding dress, Im buying that dvd.
Reply
post #38 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:36am
Good shit. Someone in the comments mentioned The Apple, and I have to second that as a genuine wtf piece of shit.
Reply
post #39 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:47am
It's still my dream to one day turn Night of the Lepus into a Cats-meets-Little Shop of Horrors-style musical.
Reply
post #40 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:51am
Nice call on Starcrash hammerhead! Still have the VHS... because I'm an idiot? I don't know.

I'm gonna throw another gem out there... it easily make my top 10 Terrific Turkeys... KISS Vs. The Phantom of The Park!

This is the Star Wars Christmas Special of KISS material so you'll have to hunt it down or download it from a lawbreaker to get your mitts on it but it's well worth it.
Reply
post #41 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:52am
Other terrible Mark Lester film I love to watch because of how bad it is: Showdown in Little Tokyo.

Yoshida: Now you only have one hand with which to wipe your ass with. Do you want to keep the other one?

Minako: [laughs]
Chris Kenner: What?
Minako: That time, I heard you coming!
Reply
post #42 of 97
11/27/09 at 12:54am
Jacob, Showdown In Little Tokyo is a classic film...not a turkey.
Reply
post #43 of 97
11/27/09 at 1:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Olson View Post
His commentary on that is actually pretty great, as it basically amounts to him saying over and over that his reach may have exceeded his grasp on this production. Plus, the one thing that I really love about Zardoz is that is the result of a truly singular vision. Boorman wrote, produced, and directed the film, and every frame comes from somewhere in his insane, loopy mind. I admire that, in a way.
I agree, his commentary is wonderful.
Reply
post #44 of 97
11/27/09 at 1:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
It's still my dream to one day turn Night of the Lepus into a Cats-meets-Little Shop of Horrors-style musical.
Rich, keep chasing that dream - it's an inspired idea sir.
Reply
post #45 of 97
11/27/09 at 1:28am
Decent list, pretty obvious choices. I'd go with Invasion of the Blood Farmers, Shriek of the Mutilated, Blood Freak, and Don't Go In The Woods...Alone! myself.
Reply
post #46 of 97
11/27/09 at 1:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Good shit. Someone in the comments mentioned The Apple, and I have to second that as a genuine wtf piece of shit.
It's no CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC.

Another fun little list, Devin!
Reply
post #47 of 97
11/27/09 at 2:51am
It actually made me sad that I've watched every movie on this list (except Night of the Lepus) plus the Manitou.
Reply
post #48 of 97
11/27/09 at 3:19am
The only two I haven't seen are The Room (soon to be rectified!) and Rock n Rolll Nighmare

Great list. One of my favorites not mentioned yet is Tobe Hooper's Lifeforce. Chock full of glorious nudity, Steve Railsback madness and drooling zombies. So much fun.
Reply
post #49 of 97
11/27/09 at 3:24am
Lifeforce is the pre-emptive 28 Days Later. Except it has vampires that suck the souls out of people. Also Patrick Stewart kissing Steve Railsback. Aubrey Morris owns too.
Reply
post #50 of 97
11/27/09 at 3:25am
Night of the Lepus is fucking awesome. They played it one night years ago when I was living in Sydney and I couldn't believe my eyes. Fucking amazing.
It's playing on a T.V. in the Oracle's kitchen in The Matrix. i like to think the Wachowski's saw it play that same night (they were filming in Sydney at the time) and likewise wtf'd.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: CHUD.COM Main
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE MAIN SEWER › CHUD.COM Main › Ten Terrific Turkeys