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SNL Christmas Skits

post #1 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:27pm
Thread Starter 
The special will air on Dec. 17 and will be hosted by Gilly, a character who I am not familiar with because I haven't watched the show in ten fucking years. Hulu has a few up, though I'm having more success finding them on Google video since Hulu is a mess to navigate through.

Much of it is just goofy pratfalls, but I still lose my shit each time I watch this.

Can anyone find any of the Consumer Probe skits?
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post #2 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:28pm
Best one involves George Bailey rallying the town to kill Mr. Potter.
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post #3 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:32pm
The George Bailey sketch is one of the funniest things SNL has ever done. Great concept, but maybe just for Phil Hartman as Uncle Billy. Or Jon Lovitz as Potter.
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post #4 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:36pm
I really miss when Comedy Central had SNL and they'd run a big Christmas episode marathon.

Always loved the "Disfuntional Family Christmas" from the Dennis Quaid episode circa 1990. Also the Ralph Nader Christmas Special and Gumby Christmas Special sketches were gold.
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post #5 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:36pm
I own the DVD with a bunch of the Christmas sketches.

The notables on it would probably be:
  • Matt Foley: Motivational Santa
  • The alternate ending for It's a Wonderful Life
  • Consumer Probe
  • Mr. Robinson
  • Schwetty Balls
  • Steve Martin's Christmas Wishes
  • Lovitz as Hannukah Harry

ETA: and has
  • Dysfunctional Family Christmas Album
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post #6 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:38pm
All hail Hanukkah Harry. "On Moishe, On Herschel, On Shlomoooooo . . ."
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post #7 of 80
12/9/09 at 3:39pm
Schwetty Balls is still one of the best repetitive skits that they've ever done.
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post #8 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:10pm
Does anyone remember a fake commercial from the mid-90s hocking an electronic crying baby Jesus for your manger scene? The gag was that it had the most obnoxious crying and wouldn't stop. This, of course, leads to the family being all kinds of harassed and sleep-deprived because Jesus is caterwauling through the night.

"Daddy, make baby Jesus stop crying."

"I can't, honey... I can't."

Anyone?
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post #9 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:14pm
YES. I remember that one very well, Mattioli. The baby Jesus sounded like a cat being raped.

eta: it's apparently from the Anthony Edwards episode (Foo Fighters as musical guest) from 1995. Ill be damned if I can find a video for it online.
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post #10 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:28pm
My favorite is still "The Global Warming Christmas Special," with Carl Sagan and Isaac Asimov lobbing a bucket of blood at Crystal Gayle's fur, which was the first I remember featuring Dana Carvey's Paul McCartney impression. That cracked me up in junior high.
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post #11 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:35pm
Thread Starter 
Am I the only one that thinks Hanukkah Harry doesn't really hold up all that well? The only thing I still laugh at is Lovitz' delivery of "six pair! Can you believe it?"
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post #12 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:53pm
The alternate Its A Wonderful Life ending is one of the few things that gets my dad. Never fails to make him laugh.

Fuck sitting through the special. Here's the clip. http://www.hulu.com/watch/4267/satur...fe-lost-ending
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post #13 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott
Am I the only one that thinks Hanukkah Harry doesn't really hold up all that well? The only thing I still laugh at is Lovitz' delivery of "six pair! Can you believe it?"
It's not amazing but there were still some great bits about it (Hannukah Harry saying that Santa's too hard on the kids, the way he responds to the milk they left out, his workshop). It certainly works better than some of the topical humor that shows up in some of these sketches. It's hard to "get" Chevy Chase playing Gerald Ford at this point.
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post #14 of 80
12/9/09 at 4:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Schwetty Balls is still one of the best repetitive skits that they've ever done.
Scwetty weiner topped that, plus it helped when Anna Gastayer flubbed her lines.
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post #15 of 80
12/9/09 at 5:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post
My favorite is still "The Global Warming Christmas Special," with Carl Sagan and Isaac Asimov lobbing a bucket of blood at Crystal Gayle's fur, which was the first I remember featuring Dana Carvey's Paul McCartney impression. That cracked me up in junior high.
Yeah, that's the one I meant. Brilliant.

Loved the Phil Hartman-era Johnny Cash/Betty Ford Christmas Special as well. Lovitz as David Crosby always a treat.
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post #16 of 80
12/9/09 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Scwetty weiner topped that, plus it helped when Anna Gastayer flubbed her lines.
Yeah, that was a pretty solid sequel. I still prefer the 'balls' skit, simply because we totally knew where the 'wieners' one was going once the skit started.
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post #17 of 80
12/9/09 at 5:42pm
Wasn't there a Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute Christmas sketch?
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post #18 of 80
12/9/09 at 5:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post
The George Bailey sketch is one of the funniest things SNL has ever done. Great concept, but maybe just for Phil Hartman as Uncle Billy. Or Jon Lovitz as Potter.
Favorite part was when Lovitz stands up and walks around. "Look, he's not even a cripple"
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post #19 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:19pm
Steve Martin's Holiday Wishes is such a fantastically simple skit, but Martin's delivery makes it glorious.
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post #20 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:20pm
I like the one where Hugh Jackman recounts the Christmas tradition of his father (Will Ferrell) getting ass-raped by a giant kangaroo every year.

Plus, I always have time for Carvey's Grumpy Old Man Christmas memories: "Look at me, I'm sleddin' on dead people!"
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post #21 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post
The George Bailey sketch is one of the funniest things SNL has ever done. Great concept, but maybe just for Phil Hartman as Uncle Billy. Or Jon Lovitz as Potter.
"You made two mistakes, Potter! First you double-crossed me. Then you let me live!"
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post #22 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:30pm
The Burt Reynolds Christmas Special is a favorite with Norm as Burt and Will Ferrell as Jerry Reed. Also featured Chris Kattan in a rare funny appearance as Michael Jeter.

I'm busy so somebody go find it online so I can watch it again.
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post #23 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:41pm
Hannakuh Harry is funny for the first two of the forty minutes the sketch lasts.
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post #24 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:45pm
"Killer Trees" is an old favorite. "Delicious Dish" with Alec Baldwin as Pete Shweaty and the "Lost Ending" of It's a Wonderful Life for me are utter classics.
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post #25 of 80
12/9/09 at 6:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
The Burt Reynolds Christmas Special is a favorite with Norm as Burt and Will Ferrell as Jerry Reed. Also featured Chris Kattan in a rare funny appearance as Michael Jeter.

I'm busy so somebody go find it online so I can watch it again.
How did I not know about this? Yeah, one of you kids with your google track it down.

Also, the "my enemies should die like pigs in Hell" line from Steve Martin's Christmas Wishes has been repeated many times by me over the years.
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post #26 of 80
12/9/09 at 8:47pm
Thread Starter 
I love when he reminds himself of that one. "Ohiforgotaboutrevengeagainstmyenemies!"
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post #27 of 80
12/9/09 at 9:03pm
Yeah, the "It's A Wonderful Life" skit was great.
I have a fondness for the "A Mike Ditka Chrismas" myself.
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post #28 of 80
12/9/09 at 9:49pm
I can't wait for this - I love the SNL holiday skits. Hanukkah Harry, the lost ending of "It's a Wonderful Life", the global warming Christmas, and Steve Martin's Christmas wishes are fabulous.

Another favorite moment is in the Gumby Christmas special when he kicks the little girl out into the snow. "You want Andy Williams? Andy is in Los Angeles - that's about 800 miles. Start walking!"

And honestly, as much as Jennifer Aniston normally bores me, I really do love her and Rachel Dratch as the live Victorian lawn urchins. "Are you sick?" "ARE WE SICK??"
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post #29 of 80
12/9/09 at 11:52pm
Gift of the Magi with Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks as Donald and Ivana Trump.
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post #30 of 80
12/10/09 at 12:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
YES. I remember that one very well, Mattioli. The baby Jesus sounded like a cat being raped.

eta: it's apparently from the Anthony Edwards episode (Foo Fighters as musical guest) from 1995. Ill be damned if I can find a video for it online.
Yeah, I can't find a video, but I did find the transcript (for what it's worth). The commercial was for "Grimaldi's Classic Creations":
Quote:
(Opening shot of a family room beautifully decked in holiday decor. "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" plays throughout the sketch)

Narrator: Christmas. The time for giving and family. And the time when we remember the birth of our Savior. Now those memories come to life, with a Grimaldi's Classics handcrafted Nativity Scene.

(Mom and Dad gleefully unwrap the set. Mom smiles with delight at the beautiful Baby Jesus figurine.)

Narrator: Now for the first time, you can actually hear the cries of the Christ Child, as He enters into the world. A hidden microchip replicate the Holy Sounds of the Baby Jesus...

(Dad sets the figurine in the center of the Nativity Scene, and the Holy Sounds begin. The sounds that eminate, however, are not the sweet, precious cooing of a newborn infant, but rather a loud, ugly, repetitive braying

Figurine: AAAAOOOOWWWWWW..... AAAAOOOWWWWW... AAAAAOOOOOWWWWW... AAAAOOOOOWWWW!

(Mom and Dad each manage faint, slightly confused smiles. Cut to the son's room, as he is awakened from a sound sleep).

Son: Mommy...what's that sound?

Mom: Why, it's Jesus!

Figurine: AAAOOOOWWWW!!!!!...... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!.... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!.... AAAAOOOWWWW!!!!

(The sounds disturb the family dog, who sits and stares quizzically at the figurine before adding to the racket with several sharp barks. Cut to Christmas morning, as the family try in vain to ignore the relentless Holy Sounds as it continues to burn itself into thier collective brains..)

Narrator: Your holidays will be even more meaningful with the Son of God filling your house with His majestic innocence (cut to various family members weakly opening thier gifts, staring blankly into the void as they continue to be tortured by the Majestic Innocence and fight the urge to find that "hidden microchip"). It's a gentle and pleasant reminder that God is *always* with us!

(later that day, as the family pick at thier Christmas feast)

Figurine: AAAOOOOWWWW!!!!.... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!.... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!

Narrator: These Joyous Cries will play throughout the holiday season, both day and night! (AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!.... AAAAOOOOWWWWW!!!!... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!.... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!) These Magical Sounds will be heard continuously from Christmas Day until 3 King's Day on January 6th. So celebrate the true meaning of Christmas this season (AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!.... AAAAOOOOWWWW!!!), with a Grimaldi's Classic Creation. Available at Lord and Taylor, and other fine stores.
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post #31 of 80
12/10/09 at 12:23pm
The Gumby Christmas special -- "Merry Christmas, Dammit!" With special guest star, Frank Sinatra!

EDIT: Lisa mentioned it as well.
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post #32 of 80
12/10/09 at 12:58pm
Best part of the Gumby Christmas is when Donny and Marie start making out.
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post #33 of 80
12/11/09 at 1:33pm
Did a search for that Burt Reynolds sketch. All I came up with was Burt and Dolly singing "Sneaking Around with You" from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. So, I still win.
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post #34 of 80
12/11/09 at 2:13pm
I also came up goose eggs on the Reynolds Christmas Special sketch search. But I too took home a lovely consolation prize as I found this great clip of the old deep voice of ABC introducing Burt as B.L. Stryker.
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post #35 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:22am
Forgot about the Robert Goulet Christmas Special. Ferrell was so awesome.

And this Gilly stuff is crap.
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post #36 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:25am
Damn, I missed the Robert Goulet Christmas! Oh, well.

I got home around 9:15, just in time for the wrap up of the angry family Christmas dinner with Hugh Laurie. And my reward was that I was just in time for the lost ending of "It's a Wonderful Life" - that never gets old! "Harry, Mary, hold him for me!"
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post #37 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:35am
Does Wiig have footage of Michaels blowing a farm animal? Cause this whole show is proof of why Gilly isn't funny.
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post #38 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:37am
Just watched a bit of it (recorded it for later) but I love that John Malkovich bit with him reading to the kids.
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post #39 of 80
12/18/09 at 4:25am
The It's a Wonderful Life bit just doesn't feel right without the Shatner intro.

Smigel's stuff is always great. First time I'd seen Blue Christmas.

What was that, like 11 seconds of Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood?
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post #40 of 80
12/18/09 at 10:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Just watched a bit of it (recorded it for later) but I love that John Malkovich bit with him reading to the kids.
I need to watch that up online - I didn't get home in time to see it, and I don't think I've ever seen it before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
The It's a Wonderful Life bit just doesn't feel right without the Shatner intro.
True, but the rest of the skit more than holds up.
Quote:
Smigel's stuff is always great. First time I'd seen Blue Christmas.
I'd never seen it before either - great stuff!
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post #41 of 80
12/18/09 at 11:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
Smigel's stuff is always great. First time I'd seen Blue Christmas.
Christmastime for the Jews makes me lose it everytime.
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post #42 of 80
12/18/09 at 11:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
I need to watch that up online - I didn't get home in time to see it, and I don't think I've ever seen it before.
Here it is, in case you haven't found it already;
http://www.hulu.com/watch/47611/satu...ight-monologue
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post #43 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:03pm
Yeah, the SNL Christmas DVD keeps the Shatner intro. It really sets the tone perfectly.
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post #44 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:05pm
Thanks for the link, Cap!
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post #45 of 80
12/18/09 at 12:18pm
Totally forgot about Dick in a Box. Easily the best of the Digital Shorts.
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post #46 of 80
12/18/09 at 1:22pm
Is "Gilly" always that unfunny, or am I just way too old to be watching SNL these days?
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post #47 of 80
12/18/09 at 1:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt M View Post
Is "Gilly" always that unfunny, or am I just way too old to be watching SNL these days?
Gilly has always been crap.
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post #48 of 80
12/18/09 at 1:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt M View Post
Is "Gilly" always that unfunny, or am I just way too old to be watching SNL these days?
Aaaah, Matt. Just as Santa Claus is real to the child in all of us, so is Gilly unfunny to children from one to 92. Her suckitude is ageless, my child. Merry Christmas!
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post #49 of 80
12/18/09 at 1:54pm
Thread Starter 
I'd still nail the everloving shit out of Kristen Wiig, which of course has never been said on the Internet ever.

I didn't even watch this fucking special. I'm quite content with my SNL Christmas DVD I found in a bargain bin wedged between multiple copies of CLERKS II and ALONG CAME A SPIDER.
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post #50 of 80
12/18/09 at 2:05pm
Wait, so that terrible Gilly character isn't just a horrid mistake made on one night?
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