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Too bad you look like a bitch!

post #1 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:26am
Thread Starter 
Figured this might be interesting. Rewatching There Will Be Blood for the fourth time inspired this thread. What are your favorite moments in film where a heretofore stoic, badass or otherwise untouchable character are handed their comeuppance in such a way that they ultimately look like bitches?

Clearly, my first choice is my inspiration for this thread. No one gets the bitch treatment worse than Eli Sunday. First he's almost drowned in oil, then his milkshake gets drank whilst he squeals for his life and gets his dome crunched in with a bowling pin.

Second choice would be Stuntman Mike in Deathproof. His bitch-like squeal and whine when he realizes he's shot is completely surprising and awesome at the same time. Kurt Russell sells his character's inherent weakness like a champ.

So Chewers, what are your favorite bitch-making moments?
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post #2 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:40am
Eli struck you as stoic, badass and/or untouchable during any portion of that film?

All the pimps at the end of Taxi Driver. Suck on this. Suck on this, all of us.

Loads of Bond villains.
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post #3 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:42am
Paxton in True Lies springs to mind:

"I gotta lie to women to get laid! I got a real small dick, it's pathetic..."

The hotshot football star in Can't Hardly Wait, after he gets told off in front of everyone by Jennifer Love Hewitt:

"Someone in there called me a fag..."

The little lip quiver that Willem Dafoe does as he thinks he's about to get demolished in Streets of Fire during the sledgehammer fight that he initiated.
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post #4 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:44am
Oh, oh! The best:

Billy Bob Thorton going from bullying thug to wimpering child in Tombstone, after getting bitch-slapped by Kurt Russel:

"You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?"
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post #5 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:50am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
Eli struck you as stoic, badass and/or untouchable during any portion of that film?

All the pimps at the end of Taxi Driver. Suck on this. Suck on this, all of us.

Loads of Bond villains.
Eli definitely has an air about him. He THINKS he's untouchable and he THINKS he's badass. We can all see he's a weasel. That makes his comeuppance even better, because he finally, I think, realizes what he is. Right before his head gets smushed.
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post #6 of 74
12/10/09 at 3:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Z.Vasquez View Post
Paxton in True Lies springs to mind
Paxton in True Lies, huh? What about Weird Science? Even better bitch-making.
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post #7 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:00am
Disney villains often have a fair amount of badassery in them. Scar pleading with Simba and then the hyenas in the end was always satisfying.
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post #8 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:26am
double post
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post #9 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Hill View Post
Paxton in True Lies, huh? What about Weird Science? Even better bitch-making.
Yeah, Paxton is at his best when playing guys getting in over their head. This often leads to acts of bitch-ass comeuppance. Though different from these two examples, his breakdown in Aliens also springs to mind. He goes from hard-ass space marine to a shell of a man. He comes back from it, but by that point it really is game over. Man.

Also, to use another example of both him and Streets of Fire (back me up Rath), his getting decked by Amy Madigan from behind the bar is pretty much a bitch deal, especially because he's talking tough to her right before she lays him out.
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post #10 of 74
12/10/09 at 7:40am
Paxton in Aliens was my first thought to. He goes from being all "me and my squad of Ultimate Badasses" to wimpering like a girl.
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post #11 of 74
12/10/09 at 8:02am
Oh Dae Su in Oldboy. Once the contents of the box are revealed all his badassery melts away and he turns into a complete bitch - quite literally, at one point. The scene is all the more affecting for the fact that he's actually the "hero" of the film.
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post #12 of 74
12/10/09 at 8:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Savage View Post
Paxton in Aliens was my first thought to. He goes from being all "me and my squad of Ultimate Badasses" to wimpering like a girl.
To be fair, he goes back to being something of a badass, and doesn't go down like a bitch.
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post #13 of 74
12/10/09 at 9:36am
I only saw it once and I forget the character's name. But the guy in Hostel 2 who was so hyped up about killing someone, only to freak out when he finally got the chance and ending up becoming puppy chow.

Bluto at the end of Popeye.
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post #14 of 74
12/10/09 at 9:57am
Gene Hackman in The Quick and the Dead. Ain't so bad with a hole through you, are you?
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post #15 of 74
12/10/09 at 11:05am
Pretty much anyone who isn't Dutch in Predator.
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post #16 of 74
12/10/09 at 11:09am
Brad Dorif's Wormtongue.
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post #17 of 74
12/10/09 at 11:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
Pretty much anyone who isn't Dutch in Predator.
Bullshit, Jesse was a God Damned Sexual Tyrannasaurus til the end.
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post #18 of 74
12/10/09 at 11:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
Brad Dorif's Wormtongue.
You and I have very different definitions of "badass".
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post #19 of 74
12/10/09 at 11:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
Bullshit, Jesse was a God Damned Sexual Tyrannasaurus til the end.
If by that, you mean he had a giant moist gaping hole big as a dinosaur's cock in his chest when he died, then yeah, sure.
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post #20 of 74
12/10/09 at 11:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
If by that, you mean he had a giant moist gaping hole big as a dinosaur's cock in his chest when he died, then yeah, sure.
Yeah, but dying isn't exactly the same thing as turning into a whimpering bitch like Stuntman Mike or DeFoe in Streets.
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post #21 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:06pm
ok, perhaps I misunderstand this tread. Wormtongue was never a badass. We was a bitchass. How was Dorif not channeling the god of bitchass motherfuckers as he was getting kicked down the steps of King Theoden's Mead hall, pleading for his life?

Also, Jesse was carying a weapon they mount on Helicopters, spitting tobacco, and defying the worst the Universe could throw at him, but tyou think that makes him a pussy? ok..........
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post #22 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:20pm
The Wicked Witch of the West. What a simpering little hydrophobe!
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post #23 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:29pm
Nicely done Ratty.
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post #24 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
ok, perhaps I misunderstand this tread. Wormtongue was never a badass. We was a bitchass. How was Dorif not channeling the god of bitchass motherfuckers as he was getting kicked down the steps of King Theoden's Mead hall, pleading for his life?

Also, Jesse was carying a weapon they mount on Helicopters, spitting tobacco, and defying the worst the Universe could throw at him, but tyou think that makes him a pussy?
When he gets taken out in one shot and didn't even get to fire that hundred pound monster at the guy who shot him? Yup. But, then, thats the point of that movie; a squad of ultimate badasses getting taken out like teenagers on Crystal Lake.

By the way, Boba Fett should've been post number one or two in this thread.
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post #25 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:41pm
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I got one that's mega appropriate for the Christmas season:

"Scut Farkus! What a rotten name! We were trapped. There he stood, between us and the alley. Scut Farkus staring out at us with his yellow eyes. He had yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes!"

More like a couple of black eyes after Ralphie got done with'em. Amiright?
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post #26 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:42pm
The aliens in Signs. They are distant relatives to the wicked witch of the west.
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post #27 of 74
12/10/09 at 12:42pm
Yes. Boba Fett's canned "YAAAHAHAHOOEY" as he plummets toward 1000-yr Digestionville makes him particularly bitchesque.

ETA: Mattioli is the big winner. Scut Farkas is the Crown Prince of Bitchassery.
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post #28 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:15pm
It was Boba's destiny. He was the clone of a dude that went out like a little bitch. Both Fett's put too much stock in their little jet packs.
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post #29 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:24pm
Not to get all nerdy on you, but Boba wasn't a clone. He was the clone basis' son. Or am I wrong about that?

Christ, I need a shower now.
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post #30 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:26pm
He was the only 100% unaltered clone of Jango.
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post #31 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:30pm
I'll add Jabba to the list. Huge galaxy-wide crimelord choked to death by a 90-pound exotic dancer. With the very chain he used to keep her close.

Which begs the question, think Leia ever got her freak on for Jabb's entertainment?
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post #32 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:44pm
To be fair, it was a 90-pound, coked up exotic dancer...
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post #33 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
When he gets taken out in one shot and didn't even get to fire that hundred pound monster at the guy who shot him? Yup. But, then, thats the point of that movie; a squad of ultimate badasses getting taken out like teenagers on Crystal Lake.
.
Yeah, but when a damn INVISIBLE, LASER SHOOTING MOTHERFUCKER takes you out from behind, that does not equal going out like a bitch. The Predator was just scared shitless by Ole Painless.
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post #34 of 74
12/10/09 at 1:59pm
Hammerman in Blood & Bone kind of goes down ridiculously easily. He doesn't cry or anything, but it is really anticlimactic.
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post #35 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:05pm
Chris Rock's hitman character in Nurse Betty acts all hard throughout, but ends up crying for his daddy in the end. Bitchicity if ever I saw it.
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post #36 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:12pm
Jubil Hurley on the last epsode of Firefly......
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post #37 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Z.Vasquez View Post
Oh, oh! The best:

Billy Bob Thorton going from bullying thug to wimpering child in Tombstone, after getting bitch-slapped by Kurt Russel:

"You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?"
Absolutely the best. In any other movie this would have been a shootout, but Russell stands there ("unheeled") and literally bitch-slaps him.


Johnny Tyler: You run your mouth awful reckless for a man that don't go heeled.
Wyatt Earp: No need to go heeled to get the bulge on a tub like you.
Johnny Tyler: Is that a fact?
Wyatt Earp: That's a fact.
Johnny Tyler: [sarcastic] Well, I'm real scared.
Wyatt Earp: Damn right, you're scared. I can see that in your eyes.
[Tyler reaches for his gun]
Wyatt Earp: Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens...
Johnny Tyler:M-m-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your...
[Wyatt slaps Tyler across the face]
Wyatt Earp: I'm getting tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work!
[slaps Tyler again]
Wyatt Earp: I said throw down, boy!


Kurt Russell rocks that scene!
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post #38 of 74
12/10/09 at 2:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean Blackwell View Post
ETA: Mattioli is the big winner. Scut Farkas is the Crown Prince of Bitchassery.
I... I'd like to thank the Academy...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
Which begs the question, think Leia ever got her freak on for Jabb's entertainment?
No, no it doesn't beg the question. Shame on you.
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post #39 of 74
12/10/09 at 3:01pm
Thread Starter 
It was late when I posted this thread. Forget the badass element of the question. Can we throw arrogant in there instead? Or just your favorite moments of bitchassery villain comeuppance.

I'm gonna add to this list Curly from Of Mice and Men.

That little bastard was feisty, and everyone was afraid of him. Everyone except George. He knows he can't beat George, so he goes after Lennie. What a bitch move, picking on a retarded guy. He ends up whining and crying as Lennie crushes his digits into powder.
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post #40 of 74
12/10/09 at 3:08pm
On Deadly Ground- The Fallen Starr

Bad Day at Black Rock- Spencer Tracy destroys menacing Ernest Borgnine, literally with one hand tied

Heartbreak Ridge- Eastwood vs The Swede ("Stick your chin up. Higher.")

Hard Times- Bronson teaches Robert Tessier some humility

Also, in the 80s Eastwood and Bronson both had moves where they would go for the junk on very large individuals and thus turn them into whimpering messes (e.g. respectively, Richard "Jaws" Kiel in Pale Rider, and random barroom neanderthal in The Evil That Men Do)
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post #41 of 74
12/10/09 at 3:31pm
Dan Hedaya ... Arius
Vernon Wells ... Bennett
David Patrick Kelly ... Sully
Bill Duke ... Cooke
Drew Snyder ... Lawson
Michael Delano ... Forrestal (as Michael DeLano)
Bob Minor ... Jackson
Michael Adams ... Harris (as Mike Adams)
Gary Cervantes ... Diaz (as Carlos Cervantes)
Lenny Juliano ... Soldier
Charles Meshack ... Henriques
Hank Calia ... Latin Man
Walter Scott ... Cates
Greg Wayne Elam ... Biggs (as Gregory W. Elam)
Branscombe Richmond ... Vega
Matt Landers ... Fred
Peter DuPont ... Daryl
Tom Simmons ... Kirby's Driver
John Reyes ... Val Verde Heavy
Billy Cardenas ... Val Verde Heavy
Edward Reyes ... Val Verde Heavy
Thomas Rosales Jr. ... Young Guerrilla
Ronald C. McCarty ... Guerrilla

+ 52 other nameless guerrillas
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post #42 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:01pm
Come guys, all these Star Wars characters and not a single mention of Darth Vader? He's the embodiment of "stoical badass," except for a few teeny, tiny problems:
1) In six films, he only wins one one-on-one fight in which his opponent is not a suicidal old man.
2) "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" *hips weirdly thrusting*
3) He is killed, indirectly, by an old man he sneaks up on and attacks from behind.
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post #43 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:03pm
I'm sure having his shit fucked up by Luke a few seconds earlier didn't help.
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post #44 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Allen View Post
Dan Hedaya ... Arius
Vernon Wells ... Bennett
David Patrick Kelly ... Sully
Bill Duke ... Cooke
Drew Snyder ... Lawson
Michael Delano ... Forrestal (as Michael DeLano)
Bob Minor ... Jackson
Michael Adams ... Harris (as Mike Adams)
Gary Cervantes ... Diaz (as Carlos Cervantes)
Lenny Juliano ... Soldier
Charles Meshack ... Henriques
Hank Calia ... Latin Man
Walter Scott ... Cates
Greg Wayne Elam ... Biggs (as Gregory W. Elam)
Branscombe Richmond ... Vega
Matt Landers ... Fred
Peter DuPont ... Daryl
Tom Simmons ... Kirby's Driver
John Reyes ... Val Verde Heavy
Billy Cardenas ... Val Verde Heavy
Edward Reyes ... Val Verde Heavy
Thomas Rosales Jr. ... Young Guerrilla
Ronald C. McCarty ... Guerrilla

+ 52 other nameless guerrillas
So, so, so true.
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post #45 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:23pm
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post #46 of 74
12/10/09 at 4:54pm
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post #47 of 74
12/10/09 at 5:35pm
No mention of Vincent Vega going out on the toilet, yet? For shame!
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post #48 of 74
12/10/09 at 5:44pm
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post #49 of 74
12/10/09 at 5:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
No mention of Vincent Vega going out on the toilet, yet? For shame!
Vincent had already pinched and wiped before Butch even had the gun pointed at the door. If anything he ended up in the bathtub.
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post #50 of 74
12/10/09 at 6:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott View Post
Vincent had already pinched and wiped before Butch even had the gun pointed at the door. If anything he ended up in the bathtub.
True but he still went out like a bitch. He left his gun on the kitchen counter while he took a dump.
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