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Fucking In-Laws

post #1 of 49
Thread Starter 
This is going to be long. Maybe not that entertaining. Still, I have to vent.

Like many married persons, I seem to butt heads with my in-laws. Not all of them, my mother-in-law and her husband (stepfather-in-law) in particular. I've been with my wife since high school. I'll admit to starting off on the wrong foot with her mom - my wife lied to her, told her she was staying at a friends when in fact we were getting to know each other in the biblical sense. She got caught and so began a history of, as far as they're concerned, me versus them.

Fast-forward to 4 years ago. My wife (of 1 year now) is pregnant and we're buying our first home. She asks if they'll help out. All is going well enough.

Real quick, something to know about her stepfather, Brent - he's the world's worst communicator. I'm not the best at it but I know how to be personable, how to talk to people in general. I'm shy but I'm not rude.

One house-related project was installing a laminate floor. I'm not the handiest of men so I certainly expected Brent to lead the way, even though he'd never taken on such a project before (and no, it's not difficult). We get started together, break for the day and plan to reconvene the following morning. I have a lot going on besides the floor. I'm running late the next day. I arrive to find him nearly finished. I'm livid because there are places where he's cut corners, so to speak, and quite frankly it looks bad.

Now, had I been there, the same thing may have happened. It may have still looked bad when we finished. However, I'd have had some input. It would've been my own doing. I expressed my distaste for his starting and nearly finishing without me. He left, mad. I was supposed to be appreciative. Instead I was frustrated. He could have called, he could have just left or he could have shown some patience and waited an hour or so for me. This ended with me realizing that I might have been a little harsh and ultimately calling to apologize.

To this day, they still hold that incident against me (according to my wife). It wasn't easy for me to apologize but at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Apparently it didn't make a difference. My wife still hears about it.

In the meantime I've managed to offend them in various ways. I hear about this through my wife. Her mom says that she just has to accept the fact that she and I will never be close - she doesn't know how to talk to me. I don't really know what this means. In general, I'm a man of few words. If we have very little in common, that is compounded. I don't, however, make it a point to fight with them. I get along fine with the rest of her family. Both sides.

Present day. My wife has been on me for 2 years to put a swingset in the backyard. I've kept putting it off because we're not that far from some very nice playgrounds. Neither of us see the point in putting up something small either. It might get played with sure, but the kids (we now have two, age four and almost two) would likely grow out of it. This Christmas she convinced me, albeit with a bit of manipulation. My daughter's old enough and my wife said "swing" enough times that my daughter was really looking forward to Santa bringing one.

We've priced and looked at the Rainbow swingsets several times. They are large and expensive. Very expensive. We decided those were out but I was still dragging my feet on exactly what to do. So, she gets her mom and stepfather on board. She also gets my mom and stepfather on board. At first it was mostly from a financial standpoint though. Instead of buying a lot of little presents, help out with a swingset. My plan was to have something engraved with all of our names on it and put it someplace on the set. It was also my hope that all of us would have some hand in helping build it.

Brent, my wife's stepfather, is pretty handy with wood. He's built us some pretty nice pieces. His attitude just blows. Now that he's on board to help with the set, he wants to get started ASAP. He finds and advertisement for plans in one of his magazines and convinces my wife to buy them. She does, without running it by me first. $50 for plans. At that point I'm deadset on building something from the plans (it has multiple setups, like 15, configurations to pick from). While first reading through the plans, I'm pretty intimidated if not downright confused. Eventually they start to make sense. At nearly 96 pages, I can understand that it takes time to digest. Brent on the other hand decides there are not enough pictures and proclaims the plans too difficult to understand.

Essentially the plans are laid out as follows:

1) Decide which set you want to build and what components (e.g. fort, tower, monkey bars, rock wall, etc)
2) Review the list of materials for each component - the wood and hardware required are spelled out nicely.
3) Pre-cut all wood, in the order specified. Make additional cuts (rounding, etc) as required. Label each as you go (labels provided - FF1, RR2, tha kind of thing- meaning front, rear and so forth).
4) Mark and pre-drill parts as indicated.
5) Assemble

While I'm getting very familiar with the plans, Brent is not. I make it clear that I understand them and that I would like to be around to help get the project started (knowing full well he'd go off on his own if allowed).

The weekend rolls around, the wood's been purchased and we're ready to start. He's adamant about not building the kit first. He wants to cut, drill and bolt the thing together as we go. Having spent over $600 on wood alone, this does not sound like a wise idea to me. I convince him to pre-cut the wood at least but he still insists on not pre-drilling. I decide to fight that battle later. As we're cutting the wood, it becomes clear, to me, that following the directions is a good idea. He questions the size of the braces we cut because he has a pile of small pieces. I tell him and he grumbles that they could have been cut from those scraps. What he doesn't realize is that I still need 5 small pieces for something else. At one point I need a piece cut to 30-1/8". Low and behold he has a piece already cut to length. The directions are that precise. Surely that would convince him.

Before we finish cutting all of the pieces his pricey miter saw burns up. I can't be sure, but I think it was acting up early on. I think nothing of it. We use a table saw for a bit before calling it a day. I spend some time going through our parts check list, getting a handle on where we're at and what we have left. The plan is to start again Monday.

Monday arrives. I get to his house and go figure, half of the thing is built (in his garage). I'm not entirely surprised. I am however frustrated. I notice that places where only 1 bolt was required have two, some are crooked and it just generally looks unprofessional. I can't understand his logic. I bite my tongue, mostly, and we proceed. Also, we have another helper. A step-uncle. Not my mom, not my stepfather (they were working, I had the day off, Brent does not have a job right now). Brent asks "what's next" and I'm lost. I'm going from page 20 with drilling instructions to page 56 where a picture of what might be next exists to page 35 where everything is written out. It's confusing, error prone. I express my concern several times until he says more to me than he has to date:

"We don't work well together on projects. This will be the last project we work on together."

I'm somewhat surprised by this. Sure I was upset by the "progress" he'd made and the cluster-fucked state of the project but I ask - what about the other day? Weren't we kicking some butt? He goes on to tell me how, had we done it his way, piece-meal style, then his saw wouldn't have burnt up. I think my jaw dropped.

So while he and the uncle are trying to bolt shit together with vice grips and ladders, I'm trying to mark where the other big structure needs to be drilled. You see, instead of having the kit made - cut, labeled and drilled - we're now putting this thing together on the fly. In his garage - 20 miles from the actual site. His plan is to put it on a flatbed with a tractor and move it. He doesn't want to work in the cold, afterall. Nothing that comes out of his mouth makes much sense to me.

Noon rolls around and I have to go pick up my kid from preschool. He asks if I'm coming back. I say sure, if you want me to. At that point I don't think the day's events had really sunk in. I leave. On my way back to his house my wife calls. Brent has an appointment (3 hours later) and it wouldn't make sense to come back out. I turn around. That was the last time I've been out there. The thing is almost "done" now. I had time to process what had happened and became very angry about the whole situation. For starters he never called to let me know when he'd planned to start working on it again (and made clear it didn't really matter if I was there or not).

So now there's going to be a huge ass swingset in my backyard for my kids to play on. It was supposed to have been from US. Built by their family. I became so familiar with the plans before we started that I was truly looking forward to the project. I figured if we stuck to the directions, especially given how large in scale the thing was, we wouldn't have anything to argue about. It wasn't my way, it wasn't his way. Wrong.
post #2 of 49
Thread Starter 
Continued... (holy shit, sorry!)

So the floor-scenario from 4 years ago has played out again. This time I'm not apologizing. If I could, if it would matter to anyone but me, I'd happily retract my previous apology. I realize now that asking him for any sort of assistance is flat out a bad idea. I hate that I can't get over this. It's bigger to me than what my wife sees, what her parents see. It was something for my kids, something that's going to be around for awhile. Something that her stepfather had to go and ruin. It feels immature saying that, but that's exactly how I feel. He couldn't swallow his machismo and follow the plan. Fuck 'em - both he and his wife.

Sorry for the length of this rant. I don't even think it conveys the situation very well. Now my wife is even taking his side a bit, claiming that he just wanted to get it done in time for Christmas morning. She misses the point (and the argument sucks anyway, since it would've gotten just as done). I've gotten a bit juvenile about it all too (which is OK since I'm aware of it!)

The Holidays should be a blast this year.
post #3 of 49
Quote:
So, she gets her mom and stepfather on board. She also gets my mom and stepfather on board.
That was the problem right there: Your wife went over your head on this without your permission. She should never have done that without your knowledge (and the reverse would be true as well) as that put you in a situation where your wife sided with someone else against you.
post #4 of 49
Sounds like a crappy situation. Bad in-laws are annoying. Have lots of beer handy when they're around, and remember that they will not change, your wife will not stop wanting them around or having them involved, and the reasonableness of your opinions will have no bearing on anyone else in your family's opinion of the situation.

You have a choice: you can be right and stick to your guns, or you can decide a pyhrric victory isn't worth it and say whatever lie must be said to gain some measure of peace. If I were you, I've go punch something for a while, then go with the second option.
post #5 of 49
so..have you seen the Swing set yet? need to post some pictures man.

I'm sorry you have a terrible bull headed in-law, funny that the man does not have a job...wonder why?
post #6 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
That was the problem right there: Your wife went over your head on this without your permission. She should never have done that without your knowledge (and the reverse would be true as well) as that put you in a situation where your wife sided with someone else against you.
listen to his man right here..
post #7 of 49
I foresee and axe vs swing set in your near future.
post #8 of 49
From your own words you come off as a bit of an ungrateful jerk. You get him to help you with home improvements, let him do most of the work and then you complain about the quality of FREE WORK.

You guys then want your in-laws to help (and with $$$) for the swing set, and your wife figures you suck at these projects so bad that she decides to hand off the project to your father in law. As he aptly puts; "You guys don't work well together" and decides to finish off the project himself.

You should communicate better with your wife, and show her you can get something done (you know you could also do this by hiring people to do the work). Don't ask stuff from your in-laws either, money or work and you'll avoid more headaches.
post #9 of 49
Two things that my wife and I have agreed upon:

1. We may disagree on something, but we never EVER bring others into our disagreement to force a resolution.

2. We never, EVER do business with our friends/family beyond 'hey, can you help us move?'. The price is just too high if things go wrong.

That being said, I honestly wish you nothing but the best of luck with your situation.
post #10 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post

You guys then want your in-laws to help (and with $$$) for the swing set, and your wife figures you suck at these projects so bad that she decides to hand off the project to your father in law. As he aptly puts; "You guys don't work well together" and decides to finish off the project himself.
I went through that bullshit when my wife and I got our first place together, only it was her grandfather. We had bought a bunch of ikea furniture (fancy, I know) and he insisted that he would help. Fine, an extra set of hands can't hurt. The next day, whilst I was at work, he decided to build our entertainment center and, I think, some end tables by himself. He fucked the shit up bad. Turns out my wife had given him the go ahead to start without me. Now, they didn't help us financially by giving us money, but they did watch my daughter while my wife and I worked, so they saved us about $1000 bucks in day care expenses. He was a stubborn old dude, so he didn't take a shine to me being less than thankful when I came home and saw what was in my living room.
post #11 of 49
So glad I'm not married.
post #12 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raspberry Leper View Post
I went through that bullshit when my wife and I got our first place together, only it was her grandfather. We had bought a bunch of ikea furniture (fancy, I know) and he insisted that he would help. Fine, an extra set of hands can't hurt. The next day, whilst I was at work, he decided to build our entertainment center and, I think, some end tables by himself. He fucked the shit up bad. Turns out my wife had given him the go ahead to start without me. Now, they didn't help us financially by giving us money, but they did watch my daughter while my wife and I worked, so they saved us about $1000 bucks in day care expenses. He was a stubborn old dude, so he didn't take a shine to me being less than thankful when I came home and saw what was in my living room.
This isn't meant as a snarky question at all, but I have to ask: HOW can you possibly screw up the construction of IKEA furniture? Unless you flat out don't follow instructions, it's almost impossible to screw it up.
post #13 of 49
He didn't follow the instructions. Maybe he glanced at the picture on the front of the box. Maybe. But I doubt it. He didn't think he needed to, probably because the furniture wasn't made in the USA. And he only had 8 full fingers and then 2 half fingers. And was 70 and crotchety.
post #14 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
This isn't meant as a snarky question at all, but I have to ask: HOW can you possibly screw up the construction of IKEA furniture? Unless you flat out don't follow instructions, it's almost impossible to screw it up.
With enough booze and disinterest one can screw up any task.
post #15 of 49
That stuff is so easy to build, though. I built a ton of IKEA (and similar) stuff when I was in my 20s, and that stuff is made to fit with very little effort. Peg A into Slot B...seriously, it takes more effort to screw it up than to build the dang thing correctly. You have my sympathies, R. Leper

Sorry for the derail.
post #16 of 49
That shit is long since gone. I wanted to get rid of it that day.

I also notice in the original post that there are a few step parents/in laws. I also suffer from that. Both of our parents are divorced and remarried, so we each have 2 full sets of in-laws. I don't remember fully enjoying a holiday, ever.
post #17 of 49
The title of this thread is slightly misleading.
post #18 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
I foresee and axe vs swing set in your near future.
This has indeed ran through my mind. That or fire but I think it's illegal to burn treated pine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
From your own words you come off as a bit of an ungrateful jerk. You get him to help you with home improvements, let him do most of the work and then you complain about the quality of FREE WORK.

You should communicate better with your wife, and show her you can get something done (you know you could also do this by hiring people to do the work). Don't ask stuff from your in-laws either, money or work and you'll avoid more headaches.
If I come off that way, I sincerely don't mean to. Believe me, I'm the first (and sometimes only) one to say Thank You when they watch our kids or just do something nice for us. My wife fails on that front a lot more than not. I am grateful for the help I ask for and receive.

That said I did not LET HIM do all of the work. He took it upon himself (and as far as the swing is concerned, after I asked him to wait for me). He said several times not to mention the project to his own father in law for fear that he'd come out and help. That's pretty telling if you ask me (or he's obviously smarter than I am for making the mistake). I believe he'd have preferred I not been out there at all.

I honestly made an effort on this one. While our wives said we'd beat each other up, I thought that was silly, especially if we just stuck to the plans (then what would there be to even argue about?)

I really wanted this to be a "family project" - something we all could've been proud of - something we all could've put our names on.

I completely agree with your last paragraph.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
The title of this thread is slightly misleading.
I had to get at least a few people into this thread, I suppose! Fooled you!

Thanks for the advice and tales of similar woe.

Oh and to paint the picture a little more, my wife tells me tonight that her mom was upset because: during our recent beach trip, my mother in-law and I were both on the beach with my son and daughter (a sort of bonding moment, I thought!) I was taking pictures. My mother in law made the comment that she'd get out of the way. I made the comment back that she didn't have to worry, I was only getting my daughter in the picture. You know, I meant that so that she didn't have to be concerned, nothing else. Apparently I pissed her off because I wasn't taking pictures of her with the kids (for all I know I was... I haven't even looked at the pictures!)

That said, Jake, you may be onto something.
post #19 of 49
The unspoken root of it all is basically entering into any kind of business deal or project with relatives. Damn nigh unavoidable, I know, but most likely to lead to disaster, regardless of the sincere intentions to avoid it going that way.

For a nominal fee, my brother-in-law(God bless 'im) offered to build my wife and I our newest computer. He'd play Richard Pryor to my Robert Vaughan. Naturally, him being a tech geek, the thing was going to be nothing short of a miracle machine built to handle our most specific personal tasks, music and video editing and VAST amounts of space and processing speed. (Now, it wasn't quite the monster he constructed for himself - some sleek mutli-widescreen multi-drive behemoth built for global thermonuclear gaming with unfathomable draw distance and particle acceleration draped under a rack of liquid cooling machinery that made his room look like Crawford Tillinghast's laboratory.)

Naturally, that also meant that he was the bloke who got the call at inconvenient hours whenever the computer fritzed. He's a good guy and though it was clear he'd rather be carousing with college buddies than trotting out to our place for a housecall on yet another mysterious Microsoft "exception", he did it with little outward grief. As a guy, I could pick up the subtle aggravation, though. Most notably when he actually had the damn thing in his possesion for the dreaded "re-installation". He put up with my endless calls concerning files and folders that I (counter to the wishes of MS) chose to put in my own kind of filing system and feared he would lose. There was even the panicky messages I left him fearing for the well-being of my precious, precious Opera bookmarks.

Funnily enough, I'm realizing that it was I who was really the "crazy in-law" after all. While, from my perspective, the couple hundred bucks we gave him to deliver put me in the presumed position of the aggrieved, it hard not to see the whole picture in retrospect.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
The title of this thread is slightly misleading.
Though, I knew it had to be to the contrary, I peeked into the thread specifically to see just how long it took for someone else to mention this.

17 posts. Disappointing.
post #20 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by soylentgreen View Post
Funnily enough, I'm realizing that it was I who was really the "crazy in-law" after all. While, from my perspective, the couple hundred bucks we gave him to deliver put me in the presumed position of the aggrieved, it hard not to see the whole picture in retrospect.
QFT. The problem with being "the IT guy" in any family is that you are called on to do anything "techy" and quite often people do take advantage of this.
post #21 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
From your own words you come off as a bit of an ungrateful jerk. You get him to help you with home improvements, let him do most of the work and then you complain about the quality of FREE WORK.
Sheesh, it's not like he poured bleach on the guy.
post #22 of 49
Used to be real men would fix their own homes and build their kids' swing sets for them. Maybe your wife should have married a real man. Someone more like her father.
Every night she lays in bed wishing she had a real man like her daddy. Every night.
post #23 of 49
BTW
Real man =
post #24 of 49
Mr.T. Making people look meek and insignificant since 313 BC.
post #25 of 49
Whiskaz, what does your wife do for a living? Did she recently start traveling, or working longer hours? Any changes in her libido? You might have more trouble than you think.
post #26 of 49
Is this a spinoff of the thread where that one dude's wife was getting secretly hammered by King Dong?
post #27 of 49
oh man what if the stepdad is Fuckzilla
post #28 of 49
Look out your wife's vagina may be Tokyo!!!!!
post #29 of 49
Me: The Sequel.

Similar situation with my stepfather-in-law. My wife and I live in a house he purchased, and we rent to own. It's a fixer-upper in every sense, with a shack for a garage, no insulation, and countless other things. I do what I can to keep it in shape, but I'm not up to BobClark's standards of a real manly man being manly. Therefore, I silently resent my stepfather in law, who travels a lot and never has time to come over and help out even though he keeps talking about all the "projects" we're going to get to whenver he has time.

Don't mix family and money.
post #30 of 49
Especially when rampaging Monsters of Cock are involved.
post #31 of 49
My in laws are always asking me for legal advice. I hate when they do that, for a couple reasons. None of which has to do w/ the fact that I'm not getting paid for it. Chiefly among them, they almost always want to know something about an area I have no expertise in, like bankruptcy or divorce/family law. I give them what little knowledge I may have on the subject (even less than it'd be if they were in Jersey because all of them live in jurisdictions I am not admitted to practice in), and always advise they hire a lawyer if the problem is serious enough, b/c I very well may be wrong or incomplete in my answer. Even when I do know what I'm talking about, often the answer isn't what they want to hear. They may not legally be able to do what they're looking to do. And in those instances they never do what I tell them to do, and seem to think there must be SOME way to make it happen, and are baffled when I can't figure it out for them. My employment contract forbids me from doing outside work, so I can't help them directly, but even if I could I doubt I would. God forbid you make a mistake or they end up with less than everything they want at the end of the case. Then you're stuck with not just a disgruntled client, but a disgruntled client you have to see at family gatherings for the rest of your life. I hate being put under that kind of pressure. My wife gets furious when I balk at the idea of helping her relatives out in these situations. BUt I'm the same way w/ my own family. My 1st answer to almost any legal question any of THEM ask me is "hire a lawyer", too.
post #32 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Used to be real men would fix their own homes and build their kids' swing sets for them. Maybe your wife should have married a real man. Someone more like her father.
Every night she lays in bed wishing she had a real man like her daddy. Every night.
If she didn't have me running the vacuum, chasing the kids and washing the dishes, maybe I'd have time to be a real man.
post #33 of 49
*whip noise*
post #34 of 49
Man, whatever happened to the good old days when men were men, women were sex slaves and in-laws were dead from the raids that procured said women.

/sigh.
post #35 of 49
How does one cock block Cockzilla, anyway? Nuke him from orbit?
post #36 of 49
Fucking construction, it's the root of all evil. Like how the Palestinians are pissed at the Jews for building settlements on their land... this is the exact same thing.

Also: anyone stupid enough to get married in this day and age deserve what they get. If you didn't know about the relentless barrage of pettiness that goes along with it, you really weren't paying attention. Until the in-laws are dead, shit like this is gonna happen over and over again.

Take that to mean anything you'd like.
post #37 of 49
It could be worse. You could be living with your Chinese-catholic (double the guilt! Double the passive-agressiveness!) semi-hoarder of a mother-in-law who has a Great Depression-era mentality about saving things (oh, that soup's only been sitting on the stove unrefrigerated for 2 1/2 days, don't throw it away!).

And who, at age 60, constantly asks you, in halting English that you must strain to understand, questions most 5th graders already know, like, "What the difference between virus and bacteria?"

Actually, you guys have it much worse, she's really a nice woman. I just wish I didn't have to live with her.
post #38 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warren Peace View Post
Also: anyone stupid enough to get married in this day and age deserve what they get. If you didn't know about the relentless barrage of pettiness that goes along with it, you really weren't paying attention. Until the in-laws are dead, shit like this is gonna happen over and over again.

Take that to mean anything you'd like.
Merry Christmas, Warren.
post #39 of 49
whiskaz. got any friends your own age? you know, some guy friends? guys that can handle a fucking hammer or a drill? they can help out with this:

save up some dough for this spring (or sooner. not sure how hard it is for you to come up with $600 more). buy all new wood. and build a new one yourself. don't tell anyone about it. don't ask family for help. just do it. men don't explain shit. men go head-first into situations. even your dipshit stepfather-in-law is more of a man. he happens to be a stupid man. but a man nonetheless. so just do it. fuck them. you've got to stake your claim. build your beautiful children a real swing set, with your own goddamn hands.

and then you start chopping that piece-of-shit jungle gym-of-death apart. hell. maybe you can just re-assemble it properly and save on the extra wood. take what you can't salvage and burn it. if it's treated, just sand that shit right off. maybe carve some pentagrams into it first. something you know they'd hate. some penises. or revolvers. skulls. shit like that. you got a fireplace? or a patio fire pit? have a get together with people you like and burn it all. play some Killswitch Engage real loud. Or some Pink Floyd. do it all in one weekend. it'll be exhausting. cathartic. and best of all, satisfying as fuck.

Then have sex with your wife in the kitchen after you put the kids to bed.

If all of this sounds like something you'll never actually do, you better learn some goddamn resourcefulness next time you've got a shitty project. Or else you'll forever be the ungrateful lazy piece-of-shit son-in-law they most certainly see you as now.

and if you can't do a project on your own without some fucking help from these fucking asshole in-laws, than you deserve having to deal with them.

Seriously, man. Don't ask them for shit. I wish you the best.
post #40 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warren Peace View Post
Fucking construction, it's the root of all evil. Like how the Palestinians are pissed at the Jews for building settlements on their land... this is the exact same thing.

Also: anyone stupid enough to get married in this day and age deserve what they get. If you didn't know about the relentless barrage of pettiness that goes along with it, you really weren't paying attention. Until the in-laws are dead, shit like this is gonna happen over and over again.

Take that to mean anything you'd like.
Douchezilla ladies and gentlemen, give him a big hand...
post #41 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Richard View Post
whiskaz. got any friends your own age? you know, some guy friends? guys that can handle a fucking hammer or a drill? they can help out with this:

save up some dough for this spring (or sooner. not sure how hard it is for you to come up with $600 more). buy all new wood. and build a new one yourself. don't tell anyone about it. don't ask family for help. just do it. men don't explain shit. men go head-first into situations. even your dipshit stepfather-in-law is more of a man. he happens to be a stupid man. but a man nonetheless. so just do it. fuck them. you've got to stake your claim. build your beautiful children a real swing set, with your own goddamn hands.

and then you start chopping that piece-of-shit jungle gym-of-death apart. hell. maybe you can just re-assemble it properly and save on the extra wood. take what you can't salvage and burn it. if it's treated, just sand that shit right off. maybe carve some pentagrams into it first. something you know they'd hate. some penises. or revolvers. skulls. shit like that. you got a fireplace? or a patio fire pit? have a get together with people you like and burn it all. play some Killswitch Engage real loud. Or some Pink Floyd. do it all in one weekend. it'll be exhausting. cathartic. and best of all, satisfying as fuck.

Then have sex with your wife in the kitchen after you put the kids to bed.

If all of this sounds like something you'll never actually do, you better learn some goddamn resourcefulness next time you've got a shitty project. Or else you'll forever be the ungrateful lazy piece-of-shit son-in-law they most certainly see you as now.

and if you can't do a project on your own without some fucking help from these fucking asshole in-laws, than you deserve having to deal with them.

Seriously, man. Don't ask them for shit. I wish you the best.
I'd add some George Thorogood and some beer, but I gotta agree with this.
post #42 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post
Douchezilla ladies and gentlemen, give him a big hand...
Douchezilla? Isn't he Cockzilla's neglected younger brother? Maybe his jealousy about his lack of ravaging the vaginas of married women makes him so angry.
post #43 of 49
Thread Starter 
Good advice D. Richard.

For the record, while I may have allowed the events to unfold, there's no question on my part that I'm perfectly capable of putting together a swingset (especially since I'm able to read and follow directions).

In retrospect, when he started to express his unwillingness to follow the plan, I should've either made him get on board or taken the project out of his hands altogether. This was not a difficult project, just a large one. 95% of it could've been done by one person (and guess what, it probably was, him!) I seriously just thought it would go better. If it had been with my stepfather, it would've.

Lesson learned.

While I doubt I'll go so far as to rebuild the thing, there should be plenty of work left (staining, installing extra shit, etc). That and I'll have to find something else to one up it now...a tree house or something.

In other news, he had to bring out his tractor and brush hog so he could make room for the giant flatbed trailer he's got the now pre-built swingset on (in several pieces). This is obviously way easier than building it on-site.
post #44 of 49
First rule of life...don't get too happy.

Second rule...do as much shit by yourself as you can.

Farther down there is a very valid rule about not getting married.

EDIT: I think rule 1a is that despite what the home security commercials tell you, the burglar will still rape your wife, even if the alarm is loud.
post #45 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by whiskaz View Post
In other news, he had to bring out his tractor and brush hog so he could make room for the giant flatbed trailer he's got the now pre-built swingset on (in several pieces). This is obviously way easier than building it on-site.
Your stepdad's a retard, isn't he?

Has he expressed a fanatic dedication to James Cameron and the groundbreaking tsunami of film history hate-fuck (his words, not ours) called Avatar lately?
post #46 of 49
No Jake, he probably seen worse movie.
post #47 of 49
Thread Starter 
He's a big fan of the Duke.
post #48 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by whiskaz View Post
He's a big fan of the Duke.
...of course he is.
post #49 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Man, whatever happened to the good old days when men were men, women were sex slaves and in-laws were dead from the raids that procured said women.

/sigh.
Ah, simpler times...
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