Miscellaneous Advice - Page 2

Hey Bobby. See how Judas mentioned Statler and Waldorf's names in his post without acting like a douche? Yeah, take notes.

Remember, it's "down the street".. not.. *sniff* not across... *choke* "across the road"...

Now that's good advice.

Do your dishes after you eat. Do you really have to leave them sitting in the sink? They make the house smell, and they'll bring in roaches. Do I really have to tell you this, since you're an adult and all? Do I have to do everything around here?

(Oh - sorry. This is the advice thread. I need to take this over to the merciless nagging thread.)

Those of us with a pile of dishes in the sink appreciate your nagging, Lisa.

I must not take Lisa's comment and change it to read (Oh - sorry. This is the advice thread. I need to take this over to the shrew thread.)

Damnit. Failed.

Ironic, considering I seem entirely too sober for open mic night.

Sean, rather than do the usual "Hey, Sean..." twist on your original message response and truly be a douche, I'll chalk that one up to the tonal ambiguity of text. I know sometimes it's hard to tell when someone's actually joking here because of all the ire and "quips" flying around, but just because a post doesn't end with a winking smiley doesn't mean it was angry or condescending.

Bobby Bear you are still not meta enough for this thread.

Are you calling me a shrew? I'll have you know that I'm a strong woman, and I stand up for myself. I won't be walked all over on these boards and then called a shrew for refusing to let it happen! Do you hear me? I won't! And furthermore, you and that stupid cat avatar of yours can just...

(Okay, wow. Now we need a shrew thread.)

My miscellaneous advice: Everyone needs to die now.

When you need a job BAD, who gives a shit? Anything is worth a try, and when you've already been rejected from X number of similar jobs because you're overqualified, you get desperate.

The Earth needs to die.

Screaming.

Miscellaneous advice #2: If you consider the above statement clever and/or funny, seek sense.

It makes sense if you're meta enough. You're not.

Bobby Bear I am very sad for you.

Don't jerk off on your mother's couch if she is still somewhere in the house.

UGGHH that was an awkward afternoon.

Misc. advice: Don't read message boards.

I wish I could take my own advice.

Turn into the slide.

Don't eat yellow snow.

Completely.

If you think a person is completely awesome and the rest of the world seems to be running away from that person, it's probably for a reason.

Yes, it means that person is Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

Or an albino.

Sound advice McCartney. Never jerk off on your mother's cooch. Definitely awkward.

Don't overshare.

You'll never make that mistake now, thanks to that little wisdom nugget. Be more appreciative.

Did you know that Australian men born in the last few years can expect to live to around 77 years and women to 82 years. Life expectancy for Aboriginal Australians is around 20 years lower than for other Australians.

...wait, that's not advice.

Um - never shake a person by the left hand in India.

Shit I suck at this.

(Cracks open the Necronomicon... and... et voila!)


Funny, she doesn't look shrewish.

Anywho, I myself am sensing some blood in the water at my job. Oh, things are going OK now, but the way management is running things, I'm fully expecting to be pricing cardboard boxes next year (writing's not on the wall, yet, but the kids are shaking the spraypaint cans). So, and this my advice to all of you who can do it, I called some friends at my last job to see if there are any openings, even for freelance work (TIP #1 - DON"T BURN ANY BRIDGES, EVEN IF YOUR JOB SUCKS THE HIGH, HARD, ONE. It may cost you a bit spiritually, but a buck's a buck). Call your ex-coworkers, see if there's any news of any openings. Ask your folks if they need any help at their companies, etc.

I'm also thinking of getting some weekend work here and there just in case (yes, this may mean janitorial stuff - potentially more shitter stories, kids! - especially if I wind up back at the amusement park). To quote Marsellus Wallace: "...you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps." Now that's sound advice, kids, especially with the economy all fugazi.

So's this: always, always wear some sort of hearing protection when you go to a concert, DJ at a club, etc. Pete Townsend wishes he did. (See? Sound advice! Sound! Y' get it? Thank you! Try the veal! And now... Topo Gigo!)