Worst Horror Films of the Decade

Pulse was absolutely awful, but it was all worth it for the joke in Forgetting Sarah Marshall making fun of Kristen Bell for appearing in it.

In all honesty, Pulse is a worse movie but I was a lot more entertained than I was during Rob Zombie's travesty of a Halloween remake. I don't think I've ever been so angry in a movie theater. It's one thing to do a crappy remake of a horror movie that was crappy in the first place (Prom Night or the countless others like it), but it's another thing entirely to do a crappy remake of a legitimate film classic. I didn't see Zombie's Halloween 2, but even if it's an inferior film it did a lot less damage as it was just another crappy Halloween sequel (and we already have like 800 of those), not a remake of one of the greats. It's a whole lot worse than the Friday the 13th remake, which lives up to the legacy of the originals by being a mediocre horror movie of the times. (which is all the original Friday movies are. Mediocre 80's horror. It just happens to stand that 80's horror is AWESOME while 00's horror sucks. So I'd much rather watch the old ones than the new one and the sequels it will spawn despite the fact that they're basically going to be the same movies just with ipod generation paint).

You may have killed your own thread - I didn't see Pulse, One Missed Call or The Eye remake, but I don't know how anything could have been much worse than Tom Welling's The Fog.

I'd go as far as to say that HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION was a worse film than Zombie's HALLOWEEN, but THE FOG is a real fucking fart cloud.

I personally found the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake terribly disappointing because, as cack as some of the originals are (tho' parts 1, 4 and 6 are really good horror movies, I think) they were rarely so dull.That whole shit with Jason taking the girl captive and the lack of juicy kills makes that one a full on stinker as well. For the record I liked what PD did with Amityville and TCM (the second one, a prequel to the remake get sbad copy... but I liked it's mean streak).

The remake of DAY OF THE DEAD, WIND CHILL, SKINWALKERS and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3D snuggle nicely into this thread.

This thread is nowhere near ready to die as Seb also mentioned a seperate list for shitty awful DTV films which actually opens it right out to include such piles of crap as LAKE PLACID 2, LAKE DEAD, DARK RIDE etc.

Oh yeah, and if we are gonna go back to remakes (which seems inevitable) I'd say the PROM NIGHT remake is incredibly bad... the original gets too much nostalgic love and this actually manages to be blander. I will endeavor to knock up some lists!

I usually avoid obviously shitty Horror, so The Ring 2 is the biggie that comes to mind. So dull, did everything wrong the original did right.

Sam Raimi has a lot to answer for with those Ghost House productions. The Grudge being the most offensive.

Ugh, The Ring 2 was terrible. I'd like to go back and watch them side-by-side to try and figure out what went wrong, but who needs that kind of suffering.

True story: I walked out of the theater having enjoyed The Grudge. Had a chance to watch it again with friends and it is mostly terrible. Dunno what was in my popcorn the first time.

Fear Dot Com is the one that immediately comes to mind. Just an awful piece of shit in every way imaginable.

Maybe we should have additional sub-categories, like Sequel, J-Horror Remake, Straight-Up Remake, PG-13 Horror, Torture Porn, etc.?

I DARE someone to say Freddy vs. Jason!! DARE YOU!!! I'll link you to my passively defensive blog entry so fast your head will spin with relative disapproval!!!

I've had to review so many genuinely awful STV movies that I can't put my finger on one. I'm gonna have to get back to you.

That movie is stunningly terrible. It's so bad it's been wiping itself out of existence.

Can't vouch for the others, but I liked WIND CHILL quite a bit. Blunt gave a good performance and it's quietly creepy and unnerving.

My nominees:

House of the Dead
Underworld
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Diary of the Dead
I Know Who Killed Me

The Underworld sequel and prequel were crappier.

Also, I'd nominate Blade 3 with one phrase (fighting with headphones).

Both of them were awful.

The same goes for all the other Ring style clones and their US remakes.

I may be courting disaster by even thinking this, but UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS was kinda fun. It had a tangy cheesiness missing from its ponderous predecessors. And Rhona Mitra is so much hotter than Kate Beckinsale it's not even a contest. (Yeah, that's the part that'll probably get me in trouble.)

Blair Witch 2. I don't even remember it at this point (probably a good thing) but I do remember it was quite awful. Anyone remember why it was bad though? Don't make me watch it again...

Yes, shit comes in so many shades, this is no bad idea

Sequel: THE GRUDGE 2
J-Horror Remake: PULSE
Straight-Up Remake: THE FOG
PG-13 Horrror: PROM NIGHT (also a remake)
Torture Porn: CRAPTIVITY

I agree with many of these responses. I watch a lot of horror films, and it's easy to forget about the ones that sucked. The ones I knew would suck, THE FOG, PROM NIGHT, etc. I didn't bother to watch. FRIDAY THE 13TH was so wrong, ruined everything about Jason. THE RUINS was useless, and easily forgotten. CLOVERFIELD was a big let-down, I actually showed up in the theater for that turkey.

FEARDOTCOM is the end of this thread. I remembered that I had seen it when it was released on home video, but remember absolutely nothing about it. Nothing. Not even Dorff, the plot, or whether or not I liked it. My mind was wiped clean.

A couple months ago I was at a party, I walked into a room where it was playing. It was like a bad flashback. I could feel my mind reverting to a more primal state. I had to leave.

Stephen Rea is in that film. wtf?

I don't know which primate owned the dvd, but they convinced the host it was a good movie

I have pretty much despised every American J horror remake except The Ring, but the absolute worst has to be Dark Water.

I also made the mistake not too long ago of ordering Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus on On Demand. I didn't expect this would be a good film by any means, but I thought, from the trailer, that there might be at least some good, over the top CGI (like the part where the shark leaps out of the ocean to attack the plane, f'r instance), but it lacked even that. They cut away from that scene & from the one where he chomps down on the Golden Gate Bridge just as the shark is about to close his jaws. It was like watching porn with no money shots. Colossal piece of fail, even with drastically lowered expectations going in. I mean: it's fucking CGI. You can make it do whatever you want (w/ varying degrees of belevability, depending on your budget & the skills of your programmers). Why the hell couldn't they finish the payoff scenes? There's $2.99 I'll never get back.

Also saw a truly shitty film adaptation of Lovecraft's Dunwich Horror, with Dean Stockwell stinking up an already smelly joint. The makers of this film deserve a horror beyond description devouring them in front of their families.

When it comes to horror films, there is so much shit out there that I've avoided that I simply am not qualified to proclaim a definitive "this is the worst." DARKMITE might be able to do so I'd wager. I admire his willingness to wade through all the crap looking for a gem here and there.

I don't know, If I had to throw something out there, it would probably have to be the DTV Creepshow 3. Say what you will about Creepshow 2, but at least they were trying. Creepshow 3 is just painful, though. There could never be any doubts that this was just a cash grab trading in on the name, but fuck me when the terrible little flash animated intro began, it actually took me a bit before I realized that this was actually the movie I was watching. I consider Creepshow to be a perfect little gem of a film, so even though the third is an easily dismissed and forgotten DTV turd, I do find it a bit disgraceful that it is out there possibly sitting on a shelf close by to the original.

I nominate PRIMEVAL, the movie that advertised itself as a serial killer film, but was in fact about a giant crocodile. It also has the distinction of being a giant crocodile movie in which 60% of the deaths were NOT caused by the giant crocodile. Pure horrible.

Worst by year:

2000: Dracula 2000
2001: Ghosts of Mars
2002: fear dot com
2003: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2004: The Grudge
2005: BloodRayne
2006: The Wicker Man*
2007: Captivity
2008: Prom Night
2009: Blood: The Last Vampire

*Barely redeemed by that YouTube montage of all of Nic Cage's great retarded moments.** You watch that and you almost want to go watch the whole movie again, but then you remember the rest of it was fucking dull

**Another reason I persist in admiring Cage. No matter how stupid the movie is, he gives his all. If you want to blame anyone, blame Neil LaBute for writing the inane situations that Cage then had to enact straight-faced, but Cage commits to the goddamn thing. That YouTube clip contains everything worth watching in the film, even if only for shits and giggles, and it's all because of Cage.

Might get flamed for this but here goes-

I think Martyrs is one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen, and I've seen alot. I'll admit I was never a fan of the torture porn genre, but I went into this with an open mind. It was a Saw movie with a tacked on ending that tries to give it some type of spiritual significance, or deeper meaning, and it is just completely hollow. It bothers me even more that people seem to elevate it over the likes of a Saw or Hostel movie because of this "deep" and "powerful" ending, while it's just as paper thin as the Saw franchises attempts to make Jigsaw gain some sort of depth because he "helps people". Right.

Spoilers-

What exactly is it about the ending that brings it above the status of any other shitty torture porn flick? Wealthy group kidnaps young girls and tortures them to discover potential afterlife. Huh? How exactly does that work? Their dedicating all this time and effort, risking life in prison (or worse), to take the word of a small child who has been tortured and driven insane over the course of years, to determine what comes after you die? "Oh you saw a large cluster of stars did you? Success!"

The "twist", if you want to call it that, as I see it just attempts to justify all the horrible things you've see seen throughout the movie. As if the ridiculous ending gives it any more weight.

There's nothing special about this movie, it's a slightly more artfully directed Saw movie. Fuck this movie.

And I'll just apologize now because that was basically a rant.

Ok, fair enough. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

How about Thirteen Ghosts? I don't think that has any value to speak of. Plus Matthew Lillard is in it, that alone makes it worse than a few of the movies mentioned here.

No SAW? Really?

Also, The Ruins doesn't belong in this thread, even once. Not a great film, but it does at least some of what it sets out to do.

Ughhh. I remembered MIRRORS.

Wade through the DVD section on the front page. I alone have reviewed crap that makes Mirrors look good. Werewolf: The Devil's Hound miiight be the worst movie I've ever seen.

Of course, most of those aren't theatrical.

I really like THE RUINS and the first SAW is a quite good Horror/Thriller on it's own terms, before the sequels came flooding in.

SAW V is pure effluence, even SAW die hards thought it was toss. Get it reprezentin' Seb!

I just can't hate John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars. Remember, monsters can't take over your brain if you're stoned.

Now, Godsend...

Jesus, didn't any of you sit through CURSED?

Thankfully, no. Is it as shit as I imagined?

But DTV wise, get LAKE PLACID 2 in there, please! It is such an insult to the great 'B' movie fun of the first, which I have always thought would make a fine double bill with TREMORS. The sequel would make a good double bill with a bottle of bleach and some sleeping tablets.

EDIT: Sorry for the multiple edits. I have control of my head but my fingers appear to be owned by Stolichnaya.

I wouldn't choose CURSED as a horrible horror movie. It has it's flaws and fairly predictable plot, but I wouldn't say it sucks.

THE MESSENGERS doesn't belong on that list at all.

And yes, MIRRORS really does.

PULSE and MIRRORS both gave me a good laugh, so they atleast had that going for them.
No way X 2
Exactly. I thought it was an original brutal creature feature.
I did. Werewolf flipping the bird was the only good part.
Well, it's no BLOODZ VS WOLVEZ (atrocious), but I can't believe Wes Craven and Rick Baker were attached to that POS.



And as far as other SHIHIHIHITTY (as read by Dr. Cox) DTV vamp flicks go, do not watch:
MIDNIGHT MASS
AVIA VAMPIRE HUNTER
BRAM STOKER'S WAY OF THE VAMPIRE
STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN AT SUNDOWN
VAMPIRE ASSASSIN

The "When Dogs Attack" double feature of ROTTWEILLER and THE BREED both sucked horribly.
Now I subject myself to all sorts of SciFi Originals, but CAVED IN is probably one of the worst.
Iggy, you submitted the recent DUNWICH adaptation, (and I haven't seen it yet), but it can't be worse than BEYOND THE WALL OF SLEEP. It just can't.
FEAR OF CLOWNS? ZOMGCRAP

EDIT: Should be some potential contributions from this old thread.

This could easily be a list of all the weak sauce remakes. I humbly submit the extremely tedious WHEN A STRANGER CALLS remake.