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Worst Horror Films of the Decade - Page 2

post #51 of 133
URBAN LEGENDS 2. There're entire scenes that don't make any kind of logical sense and never refrenced again in the movie. Seemed cheap and shitty even during the first time I saw this.
post #52 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian OB View Post
Updated theatrical:

THE FOG REMAKE
PULSE USA
FEAR DOT COM
HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION
ONE MISSED CALL
THE RING 2
PROM NIGHT REMAKE
SAW V
CRAPTIVITY
BOOK OF SHADOWS BLAIR WITCH 2
DIARY OF THE DEAD
THE MESSENGERS
GODSEND
THE UNBORN
CURSED
Fucking UHG, this makes me feel terrible. I've seen all of these except Prom Night. The biggest reason was that I worked at a theater for years, and I was "the horror guy" so I had the pleasure of being paid to screen these to make sure nothing is wrong with the prints. A couple I willingly saw though

I'll add this bitch, if anyone else has seen this abortion let me know. When I watched it I thought it was the worst film I had ever seen:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0306774/

And here is a trailer if you had any doubts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h0_bNROKKM
post #53 of 133
I humbly submit The Collector for the worst theatrical horror. No other movie I watched was so clearly made to cash in on the Saw phenomenon by creating another torture porn franchise. The whole movie was made so that they could make sequels.

As for DTV. Has anyone else caught Spirit Trap off of Netflix instant watch. It was like Love Actually crossed with 13 ghosts only not nearly as interesting as that combination makes it sound.
post #54 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raynis View Post
I'll add this bitch, if anyone else has seen this abortion let me know. When I watched it I thought it was the worst film I had ever seen:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0306774/

And here is a trailer if you had any doubts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h0_bNROKKM

My god, that looks horrendously dire... never seen it but based on that trailer I award it 0/10

Oddly I read some good things about THE COLLECTOR on 1 or 2 of the usual Horror sites, and then it mysteriously disappeared only to pop up on many Worst Horror lists recently... it did sound like a pile of cack tho'.

Think I mentioned it already but some of the After Dark Horrorfest titles really should be on the DTV list of shite, bad films that were initially sold on some bullshit lie that they were somehow "too extreme" for the cinema.

Some I really liked (THE ABANDONED & FRONTIERS spring to mind), but truth is many of them were just too rubbish for cinema and home viewing; my picks...

LAKE DEAD - utterly dreadful
UNEARTHED - crap
NIGHTMARE MAN - hard to judge the shit in this because the lightling was so incredibly inept - and shit.
post #55 of 133
Man, I wish I could participate in this thread a little more actively, but I generally avoid horror films that I think have more than a 60% chance of sucking, so all of the films I personally dislike in one way or another (The Descent, The Strangers, Haute Tension, TCM 2003) are widely seen as "divisive" rather than outright poo.

I can however drop Timo Rose's Barricade (2007) as a complete pile of dogshit. The film has nothing going for it. I like Martyrs well enough, and Inside is wonderful, but the French don't always get it right, case in point: Xavier Gens' Frontière(s) (2007). What absolute fucking nonsense.
post #56 of 133
Thread Starter 
OK, so over the weekend it occurred to me how daunting this all was. With so many bad horror movies, how would it be possible to compile a true list of the worst? But today it hit me; the key to this list is that theses films be ABSOLUTELY INDEFENSIBLE. So the new rule is, if there's a film on this list that you can defend IN ANY WAY then off it goes. So yes, it is a "show off your bad taste" thread, but at least this way you're doing it by defending a shitty horror movie rather than shitting on a classic.

Updated theatrical:

THE FOG REMAKE
FEAR DOT COM
HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION
ONE MISSED CALL
THE RING 2
PROM NIGHT REMAKE
SAW V
BOOK OF SHADOWS BLAIR WITCH 2
DIARY OF THE DEAD
GODSEND
THE UNBORN
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS
STAY ALIVE
THE HITCHER REMAKE
ALONE IN THE DARK
THE COLLECTOR
AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
GOTHIKA

Updated DTV:

CREEPSHOW 3
DEAD LINE
MESSENGERS 2:THE SCARECROW
LAKE PLACID 2
MIDNIGHT MASS
AVIA VAMPIRE HUNTER
BRAM STOKER'S WAY OF THE VAMPIRE
STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN AT SUNDOWN
VAMPIRE ASSASSIN
DEAD CLOWNS
FEAR OF CLOWNS
ROTTWEILLER
THE BREED
CAVED IN
BEYOND THE WALL OF SLEEP
LAKE DEAD
UNEARTHED
NIGHTMARE MAN
BARRICADE
JUNIOR (AKA ENGINE TROUBLE)
AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER 1-3
HARPIES
CROCODILE
WRONG TURN 3: LEFT FOR DEAD
WICKED LAKE
DAY OF THE DEAD
LEPRECHAUN BACK TO THA HOOD
post #57 of 133
lol at MIDNIGHT MASS

Didn't a producer or something come on the corner and try to hype up this film?

Edit: Maybe I was thinking of another movie. Anyway, MM was shite. I must have been really really bored to watch it all the way through.
post #58 of 133
Fear Dot Com wasn't the one where the players of an online game are being murdered one at a time by something from inside the game?
post #59 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianM View Post
Fear Dot Com wasn't the one where the players of an online game are being murdered one at a time by something from inside the game?
That's the equally shittacular STAY ALIVE.
post #60 of 133
And characters protected themselves with roses? That movie was like poop-scented poop.
post #61 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
That's the equally shittacular STAY ALIVE.
Good call, get that bucket of arseholes onto the list... my mind may have been trying to help me by forgetting that one.

So far I really can't attempt to defend any of the films on that list, right now it'd be like choosing supper from a selection of dog turds.
post #62 of 133
Mirrors at least has Kiefer barking at people instead of acting, Our Lady of Sorrows Mostly Caused By Jack Bauer, "the water can create reflections!", and plenty of other stuff that's very funny if you're in the right mood.

Similarly, Dark Water has that scene where Connelly knocks on Postlethwaite's door and you can hear a woman on tv moaning with pleasure, then he opens up to greet her with a totally awesome THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT I'M TRYING TO HAVE A WANK face.

Thus, defensible!
post #63 of 133
Thread Starter 
In the interest of not repeating the list over and over, I'm just adding the titles to my post above. They'll appear suddenly like bad J-horror ghosts in the bathroom mirror.
post #64 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrundleFlyboy View Post
DARK RIDE
I really liked the first five minutes or so. A short sequence, but a nice and creepy little love letter to the funfair Ghost Train.
post #65 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple_72 View Post
Mirrors at least has Kiefer barking at people instead of acting, Our Lady of Sorrows Mostly Caused By Jack Bauer, "the water can create reflections!", and plenty of other stuff that's very funny if you're in the right mood.

Similarly, Dark Water has that scene where Connelly knocks on Postlethwaite's door and you can hear a woman on tv moaning with pleasure, then he opens up to greet her with a totally awesome THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT I'M TRYING TO HAVE A WANK face.

Thus, defensible!
Thankfully, MIRRORS is not on the list... I'd give that a pass as well; hugely disappointing initially given that I was expecting so much more from Aja, but it has that great jaw rip, the 'reflections' line and Kiefer shooting the fuck out of mirrors and hamming it up way too much for it not to be hilariously crap.

What does anyone else think of THE HITCHER remake, by the way? Shit enough for the list perhaps? Or just pointless and dull?
post #66 of 133
Fair enough Disciple... and it did have a nice split open head kill.

So 5 good mins and a bit of good gore gets it off the hook, eh? We are a forgiving bunch are we not?
post #67 of 133
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrundleFlyboy View Post

So 5 good mins and a bit of good gore gets it off the hook, eh? We are a forgiving bunch are we not?
Basically, yes. There has to be a way to determine where the absolute bottom of the barrel lies. If there's ANY value whatsoever, whether it be camp hilarity or a good scene or two, it must be considered.
post #68 of 133
I've always believed that true horror fans will go easy on a film if it just has that one good bit. That's all it needs to get a pass. Brundle's mention of The Hitcher remake is a good example of something that doesn't have any good bits, at all. Even if you're a diehard Sean Bean fan.
post #69 of 133
Dark Water was one of the most boring movie I've ever seen. Sure, Pulse sucked, but at least, something happened.
post #70 of 133
Thread Starter 
DARK WATER was dull as the day is long but there was some nice design and effects, Jennifer Connelly (seeming bored granted, but still) and the above mentioned Postelthwaite moment. It's a bad movie but it just doesn't reach the awful, ahem, depths of the above titles.

I'm considering bumping HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION because the opening scene in the insane asylum is actually pretty OK until Jamie Lee gets killed off. On the other hand, it undoes the great ending of H20. This is a conundrum.

I tried to think of a reason to not include THE HITCHER remake but you know what? I couldn't.
post #71 of 133
Yeah, I love Bean, even when he's pathetically attempting a bad American accent (SILENT HILL) and I love that movie, which I know goes against many a person's opinion. He pushed my tolerance a bit with THE DARK, but I kinda like that movie too (certainly wouldn't consider it for this list, anyhow) but, alas, THE HITCHER just popped into me head and now it's utter dullness won't leave!

The IT'S ALIVE remake seemed also to drop steaming from a dirty bumcrack but I liked the bit where the baby had remarkably gnawed it's way inside that 2D characters body.
post #72 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrundleFlyboy View Post
Yeah, I love Bean, even when he's pathetically attempting a bad American accent (SILENT HILL)
flawless West Virginia by way of Sheffield!
post #73 of 133
Thread Starter 
Oh god, the IT'S ALIVE remake was french-fried dogshit.
post #74 of 133
Where does everyone stand on "Dreamcatcher?"
post #75 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post
Where does everyone stand on "Dreamcatcher?"
It's god-awful, but it's at least an interesting and often spectacular misfire, which makes it more palatable than these bland CW-inspired candy-ass remakes.
post #76 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian OB View Post
Updated DTV:

DEAD CLOWNS
So, so the winner of this category, as you have to really go out of your way to fuck up the concept of zombie clowns.


And I'll toss The Uninvited as a dishonorable mention in the J-Horror American do-over category, mostly because it strays so far from Ji-woon Kim's rather beautiful A Tale of Two Sisters nobody even realized it was a remake.
post #77 of 133
Tobe Hooper's Crocodile, perhaps the worst horror film ever made by a genre legend.
post #78 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sleeplesslumber View Post
I humbly submit The Collector for the worst theatrical horror.
Seconded. The Collector is all kinds of terrible.

Has anyone brought up The Unborn? Yikes.
post #79 of 133
I may regret doing this, but I'm going to defend Captivity a bit. At the 1st Horrorfest in 06, this trailer played before every film. I thought, based on that, that it was going to be weak sauce basted weak with a side of fried weak, in that it wouldn't have any gore to speak of. I had no intention of seeking it out, but I was home alone drinking a few brews one night, & noticed it was on cable. So I gave it a shot, and it had some damned good gore. I agree w/ any who say the plot was kind of stupid as written, w/ the whole insider, team of brothers thing. but consider this: what if they had explored the brothers' origins a little more? I'm personally fascinated by what makes a serial killer tick IRL. I love reading about what makes them into the monsters they are; the abuse in their childhoods, etc. In Captivity, you had the potential to explore two very different but potentially terrifying pathologies: one brother who has a need to torture & degrade attractive women (not much new there, I grant), and one who feels the need to ingratiate himself w/ the same beautiful women as a perceived savior, only to turn on them & betray (and kill) them in the end. I know too much of this up front would have ruined the shocker ending, but I posit this film could have been improved if we got a glimpse of that, and it was played a little more from a psychological as opposed to a physical angle. Pity this potential went unexploited. Anyone w/ me on this one?
post #80 of 133
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Shape View Post

Has anyone brought up The Unborn? Yikes.
It's on the list.
post #81 of 133
Ah. When a Stranger Calls drew my happy attention and blocked Unborn from my eyes.
post #82 of 133
My list of bad....


Originals/Adaptations:
Alone In The Dark
An American Haunting
Amusement
BloodRayne
Boogeyman
Captivity
Crocodile
Cursed
Dark Ride
Dreamcatcher
Godsend
Gothika
Hide & Seek
House of the Dead
Laid To Rest
The Messengers
Midnight Movie
Mortuary
Primeval
Stay Alive
The Unborn
Wicked Lake


Sequels:
Alien vs. Predator
Blade: Trinity
The Final Destination
The Grudge II
Halloween: Resurrection
The Hills Have Eyes II
House of the Dead II
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Rob Zombie's Halloween II
The Ring Two
Saw IV
Scream III
Wrong Turn III: Left For Dead


Remakes/Re-Imaginings:
Black Christmas
Day of the Dead
The Eye
The Fog
The Hitcher
The Omen
One Missed Call
Prom Night
Rob Zombie's Halloween
Van Helsing
When A Stranger Calls
The Wicker Man



I'm sure I am forgetting a bunch.
post #83 of 133
Let's not forget Renny Harlin's Exorcist prequel for our little Hall of Shame.
post #84 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrundleFlyboy View Post
Yes, shit comes in so many shades, this is no bad idea

Sequel: THE GRUDGE 2
J-Horror Remake: PULSE
Straight-Up Remake: THE FOG
PG-13 Horrror: PROM NIGHT (also a remake)
Torture Porn: CRAPTIVITY
What about a "Worst Original Concept" category? Or is that category long since extinct now?
post #85 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian OB View Post
DARK WATER was dull as the day is long but there was some nice design and effects, Jennifer Connelly (seeming bored granted, but still) and the above mentioned Postelthwaite moment. It's a bad movie but it just doesn't reach the awful, ahem, depths of the above titles.

I'm considering bumping HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION because the opening scene in the insane asylum is actually pretty OK until Jamie Lee gets killed off. On the other hand, it undoes the great ending of H20. This is a conundrum.

I tried to think of a reason to not include THE HITCHER remake but you know what? I couldn't.
I would recommend the Japanese original Dark Water. The remake managed to completely drop the ball on every scary moment the original painstakingly built itself in moving towards. Just about every change from the original was for the worse, they would have been much better off doing a shot for shot remake.
post #86 of 133
^ Gotta disagree on Dreamcatcher. Is it good? No, and I might even argue it's objectively bad, but the chemistry/relationship between the men, and the aplomb with which it goes full retard - which Morgan Freeman joins in on - can't be dismissed as a heavily bipolar piece of popcorn horror fun.

'What have you been eating Frank??? Woodchuck turds?"


Quote:
Originally Posted by capinkevey View Post
Might get flamed for this but here goes-

I think Martyrs is one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen, and I've seen alot. I'll admit I was never a fan of the torture porn genre, but I went into this with an open mind. It was a Saw movie with a tacked on ending that tries to give it some type of spiritual significance, or deeper meaning, and it is just completely hollow. It bothers me even more that people seem to elevate it over the likes of a Saw or Hostel movie because of this "deep" and "powerful" ending, while it's just as paper thin as the Saw franchises attempts to make Jigsaw gain some sort of depth because he "helps people". Right.

Spoilers-

What exactly is it about the ending that brings it above the status of any other shitty torture porn flick? Wealthy group kidnaps young girls and tortures them to discover potential afterlife. Huh? How exactly does that work? Their dedicating all this time and effort, risking life in prison (or worse), to take the word of a small child who has been tortured and driven insane over the course of years, to determine what comes after you die? "Oh you saw a large cluster of stars did you? Success!"

The "twist", if you want to call it that, as I see it just attempts to justify all the horrible things you've see seen throughout the movie. As if the ridiculous ending gives it any more weight.

There's nothing special about this movie, it's a slightly more artfully directed Saw movie. Fuck this movie.

And I'll just apologize now because that was basically a rant.
Not to get off topic but I'd have to agree with this.

It's basically what Saw would be like if a retarded French dude having read Sartre for the first time filmed his personal reboot. The theme of martyrdom is explored in the dumbest way possible, that I can't imagine their misunderstanding of the definition was anything but intentional.

I actually would include it in this list, because it's objectively dumb and stupid, despite a fanbase that considers it high art. It does, however, star the ungodly hot Mylene Jampanoi, so I can't be too harsh on it:






It's difficult to compile a list since I strictly stay away from stuff I KNOW will be utter dreck, but regardless:
Gingerdead Man
Leprechaun in the Hood
30 Days of Night
The Final Destination
Final Destination 3
Captivity
post #87 of 133
Final Destination 3 ain't great but it doesn't deserve to be on that list.
post #88 of 133
Thread Starter 
So far, no defense for any of these --

Updated theatrical:

THE FOG REMAKE
FEAR DOT COM
HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION
ONE MISSED CALL
THE RING 2
PROM NIGHT REMAKE
SAW V
DIARY OF THE DEAD
GODSEND
THE UNBORN
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS
STAY ALIVE
THE HITCHER REMAKE
ALONE IN THE DARK
THE COLLECTOR
AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
GOTHIKA
EXORCIST:THE BEGINNING
THE FINAL DESTINATION

Updated DTV:

CREEPSHOW 3
DEAD LINE
MESSENGERS 2:THE SCARECROW
LAKE PLACID 2
MIDNIGHT MASS
AVIA VAMPIRE HUNTER
BRAM STOKER'S WAY OF THE VAMPIRE
STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN AT SUNDOWN
VAMPIRE ASSASSIN
DEAD CLOWNS
FEAR OF CLOWNS
MR. JINGLES
ROTTWEILLER
THE BREED
CAVED IN
BEYOND THE WALL OF SLEEP
LAKE DEAD
UNEARTHED
NIGHTMARE MAN
BARRICADE
JUNIOR (AKA ENGINE TROUBLE)
AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER 1-3
HARPIES
CROCODILE
WRONG TURN 3: LEFT FOR DEAD
WICKED LAKE
DAY OF THE DEAD
post #89 of 133
The characters are beyond dumb. The dialogue is beyond utterly stupid. And the kills, while inspired, aren't enough to erase its flaws. Plus the Final Destination series, had, up until that point, a nice genre pedigree (more or less), which I think plays a factor. Granted, I've stayed away completely from shit like Prom Night, One Missed Call, When a Stranger Calls, Sorority Row, etc.
post #90 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Banandar View Post
^




Not to get off topic but I'd have to agree with this.

It's basically what Saw would be like if a retarded French dude having read Sartre for the first time filmed his personal reboot. The theme of martyrdom is explored in the dumbest way possible, that I can't imagine their misunderstanding of the definition was anything but intentional.

I actually would include it in this list, because it's objectively dumb and stupid, despite a fanbase that considers it high art. It does, however, star the ungodly hot Mylene Jampanoi, so I can't be too harsh on it:






True, she is quite the good looking lady.

If we're going to include direct to video, I'd have to add a piece of shit called "Terror Tunes". I almost don't want to mention it because I'm embarrassed I sat through the whole thing.

Oh, and "Mr. Jingles" too, can't get much worse then that.
post #91 of 133
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Banandar View Post
The characters are beyond dumb. The dialogue is beyond utterly stupid. And the kills, while inspired,
From what I understand of THE FINAL DESTINATION, it doesn't even cover the "inspired kills" quotient. That alone elevates part 3. If something is going to represent the franchise, it should be part 4.
post #92 of 133
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by capinkevey View Post

Oh, and "Mr. Jingles" too, can't get much worse then that.
True, but the MR. JINGLES menu screen is a staggering work of genius.
post #93 of 133
I KNOW HOW MANY RUNS YOU SCORED LAST SUMMER was pretty bad, well bad, well really bad, well terrible, well so bad it was good, well so bad it was ok.
post #94 of 133
I think Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 is defensible. Don't get me wrong, however. It's not a good movie by any definition. Then again, neither was the first film. That being said, it's defensible because it actually strove to be a different creature. Different both from the original AND other genre films. In fact, considering the source material, the second film is more or less batshit insane, starting from the concept that it takes place in the real world where The Blair Witch Project is a tremendous success and entrepreneurs are running Blair Witch tours into Burkettsville, MD.
post #95 of 133
The Blair Witch Project IS a great genre film. It plays the audience brilliantly. At the time there was nothing quite like it. The sequel on the other hand is a slick boring retreat to the conventional. It's garbage and--outside of the clever opening minutes--a total creative failure.
post #96 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis View Post
The Blair Witch Project IS a great genre film. It plays the audience brilliantly.
If the goal was to disappoint, then I agree wholeheartedly.
Quote:
At the time there was nothing quite like it.
post #97 of 133
I don't think anybody saw The Last Broadcast. Its reputation came later. Even still, BWP did its thing so much better.

A phenomenon not by accident, it was freaking people out.
post #98 of 133
Whoa. I'll defend Martyrs. It's not a great movie, but the acting is fine, the effects are great, and wheter or not you hate the 2nd part of the movie, it's pretty horrifying. It is torture porn, but at least it went on a path I did find gutsy. Flawed, but daring.

You can't really bitch about this and like Hostel. And Saw? Gimme a fucking break.

Look at À l'intérieur. It's a flawed movie, but it's many strengths overcomes it's weakenesses (the awful script), and it really went somewhere few dared to go before. Not my favorite at all, but I'm happy people likes it. I'll take a failed attempt like Martyrs over "safer" cash-in horror movies like SAW XXII or The Fog 2: Fog me Harder.
post #99 of 133
Thread Starter 
I can't in good conscience put GINGERDEAD MAN on the list because it has a murderous gingerbread man voiced by Gary Busey.

Also, I'll throw LEPRECHAUN BACK TO THA HOOD under the bus because it shat on all the goodwill generated by LEPRECHAUN IN DA HOOD.
post #100 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Whoa. I'll defend Martyrs. It's not a great movie, but the acting is fine, the effects are great, and wheter or not you hate the 2nd part of the movie, it's pretty horrifying. It is torture porn, but at least it went on a path I did find gutsy. Flawed, but daring.

You can't really bitch about this and like Hostel. And Saw? Gimme a fucking break.

Look at À l'intérieur. It's a flawed movie, but it's many strengths overcomes it's weakenesses (the awful script), and it really went somewhere few dared to go before. Not my favorite at all, but I'm happy people likes it. I'll take a failed attempt like Martyrs over "safer" cash-in horror movies like SAW XXII or The Fog 2: Fog me Harder.
Absolute gospel right here.
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