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Fan theories that are Insane/awesome/valid - Page 6

post #251 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Blank View Post
As was pointed out in another thread, metaphorically the Sankara Stones are George Lucas' balls.

So Indy losing two of them to crocodiles (divorce lawyers!) and giving up the third to a village elder (judge) along with children just means Lucas got taken in the settlement.

Spielberg, on the other hand, is pretty happy at the end since Indy's whip (the movie) pulls Willie (Spielberg's soon-to-be wife) into Indy's arms (Spielberg's).


And I thought I was reading too much into things!

(kidding, no offense Martin)
post #252 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post

Interesting, but not much more than that.
I have book ends made from geodes, and yet fortune and glory still elude me..
The Sankara Stones are not geodes, PK. We're expressly told they contain diamonds.
post #253 of 541
I once read a fascinating, if insanely laughable, very serious deep-dish review pointing out all the phallic/vaginal imagery in Temple of Doom. The conclusion was that Lucasberg were He-Men Wimmen Haterz, but as I said elsewhere, I think it's more that Lucas fears women. Or at least sex. I don't think he's that comfortable around humans in general.
post #254 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Blank View Post
As was pointed out in another thread, metaphorically the Sankara Stones are George Lucas' balls.

So Indy losing two of them to crocodiles (divorce lawyers!) and giving up the third to a village elder (judge) along with children just means Lucas got taken in the settlement.

Spielberg, on the other hand, is pretty happy at the end since Indy's whip (the movie) pulls Willie (Spielberg's soon-to-be wife) into Indy's arms (Spielberg's).

But party-pooper Lucas has the last laugh when the elephant (Lucas' dick) squirts (pisses) all over the happy couple.

File this under "tongue-in-cheek fan theories."
LOL So awesome!
post #255 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
The Sankara Stones are not geodes, PK. We're expressly told they contain diamonds.
Couldn't a geode have a diamonds in it? (I'm not an expert in geology, so I'll admit I could be wrong)
post #256 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Blank View Post
But party-pooper Lucas has the last laugh when the elephant (Lucas' dick) squirts (pisses) all over the happy couple.
I'm afraid to ask the significance of Short Round sitting on Lucas' dick.
post #257 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Couldn't a geode have a diamonds in it? (I'm not an expert in geology, so I'll admit I could be wrong)
If geodes contained diamonds, do you really think a million museum gift shops would have them sitting out where hordes of grubby little class-trippers could paw them?
post #258 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
If geodes contained diamonds, do you really think a million museum gift shops would have them sitting out where hordes of grubby little class-trippers could paw them?
Not all geodes are the same though. They can contain all sorts of different minerals, ETC. It depends on the chemicals present in the rock
post #259 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I'm afraid to ask the significance of Short Round sitting on Lucas' dick.
Well, see, the...

...yeah, I got nothin'.
post #260 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Hey GreatMinds, what the fuck? I've long been an Aliens fan long before the AvP movies, and I can remember debating Bishop II as far back as 1997. So even without "evidence" from later movies or video games, I still think it's fascinating to debate how the eggs got onboard the Sulaco, and whether or not the Lance Henrickson at the end is human or not.

Moving on to another strange theory, I remember when Dogma came out there was a lot of debate whether or not Matt Damon's Loki gets to go to heaven or not. He dies before Ben Affleck's Bartleby is forgiven by Alanis Morissette God. So is Loki in Hell for ten minutes, does God reach down in there and pull him up or what?
watch the end credits of Aliens. You can hear th eggs opening when the credits are done rolling. Doesn't answer any questions, but fun nonetheless.
post #261 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Not all geodes are the same though. They can contain all sorts of different minerals, ETC. It depends on the chemicals present in the rock
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiki, Wiki
Most geodes contain clear quartz crystals, while others have purple amethyst crystals. Still others can have agate, chalcedony, or jasper banding or crystals such as calcite, dolomite, celestite, etc.
Diamonds are produced by compressed coal. Geodes are the product of very different geological processes.
post #262 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I'm afraid to ask the significance of Short Round sitting on Lucas' dick.
So the prequels were just Lucas luring them into his van.
post #263 of 541
The last 15 minutes, or so, of Temple of Doom symbolize the rebirth of Indiana Jones. The temple's waters break, so to speak, Indy escapes through a vaginal opening (narrow crevasse) all dirty and shit, and finally cuts the umbilical cord (rope bridge).

I'm reading too much into it, aren't I?
post #264 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riggs View Post
I'm reading too much into it, aren't I?
Not as much as the folks over in the When They Are Wrong About Their Own Work thread...
post #265 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerhead View Post
Not as much as the folks over in the When They Are Wrong About Their Own Work thread...
I disagree. Riggs is exagerating but Bailey's interpretation is dead-on.
post #266 of 541
The scene in Point Break where Johnny Utah chases Bodhi, and ends with Utah fireing his "gun" in the air going AHHHHHH! is basically a gay sex scene.

But I think every one knew that already.
post #267 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
The scene in Point Break where Johnny Utah chases Bodhi, and ends with Utah fireing his "gun" in the air going AHHHHHH! is basically a gay sex scene.

But I think every one knew that already.
Isn't this an interpretation rather than a fan theory?
post #268 of 541
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
The scene in Point Break where Johnny Utah chases Bodhi, and ends with Utah fireing his "gun" in the air going AHHHHHH! is basically a gay sex scene.

But I think every one knew that already.
Wait, does this means that the homage scene to it in Hot Fuzz involving Butterman and his Father involve an inversion of roles in a sexually abusive father-son relationship?

(I kid people....seriously, no one would say the above without it being a joke)
post #269 of 541
I heard from somewhere that Hamlet 2 is a movie/play in the mind of the school newspaper critic. The kid imagines an awesome story where a future him would ask for advice from a young kid just like him. And his advice would bring the future him to victory. And since he's a kid, he would think it would be cool if Elisabeth Shue is the love interest (assuming the kid is imagining this in the 80's)

totally not making this up, I'm not smart enough to make this up (or explain it coherently)
post #270 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post


Amy Robbins (if that is indeed her real name) seduces a certain time-traveling Mr. Wells. She offs him, steals the time machine, and manages to wind up outside Hill Valley in 1885. Injuns destroy the machine, and Amy escapes their savagery just in time to witness the sudden appearance of a modified DeLorean. What are the odds?

Believing it the only way back to her own time, she devises the identity of an innocent school marm, Clara Clayton, and seduces the local smith/scientist, Doctor Emmet Brown. She suspects that something is deeply wrong with the crackpot when she notices that his only friend is a teen boy. After she tricks the Doc into fixing her telescope and saving her life, Amy/Clara's hopes are shattered when the teen boy escapes the 19th century (and Doc Brown's advances, she theorizes) with the DeLorean!

Biding her time until another time machine is completed... she spawns a few rugrats with the unwitting scientist. Her heart starts to soften after the 2nd "special" child is born. But Amy/Clara starts to notice odd behavior from the youngest. He will not stop touching himself, especially in her presence. "Is Emmet being inappropriate with Verne? Is he abusing him? He does like those teen boys... Maybe it's Jules? He's so much like his father." Dying to free herself from this brood of brain-damaged deviants, she murders Emmet and the oldest son (who is "so much like his father"... brilliant and disturbed), shovels them into the newly finished locomotive's Mr. Fusion, and disappears with her only boy.

Year later, after a near fatal trainwreck, a "Nancy Huff" and her grown son (who still has an obsession with touching himself), named "Brennan", find themselves in suburbia. To fuel his devious sex addiction, Brennan uses what little knowledge he has of his father's career and sells time travel devices to fellow retards over the internet.

They don't work.

You just made so many movies so much better.
post #271 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I'm afraid to ask the significance of Short Round sitting on Lucas' dick.
A future hint of raping of childhoods?
post #272 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Diamonds are produced by compressed coal. Geodes are the product of very different geological processes.
Thank you for the information on geodes, Mattioli.
post #273 of 541
Kevin Costner commits suicide at the end of WATERWORLD


Kevin Costner had been, up until the end of the film, the future of humanity. As an ichthyus sapien, his mutation (gills behind the ears) showed that humanity was slowly (perhaps too slowly) evolving to deal with the deluge they brought on themselves. The Atoll way of life is dying (this point is made explicitly clear at several points in the film). Humanity scrambled to save itself as the waters rose, but it's been hundreds of years and the supplies are now rusting to nothing. Food is scarce, and so is fresh water. Who knows how many more generations can survive on the open water? Probably not many. Like Helen says, they were not meant to live on water: "we have feet, and hands". Humanity could endure, but not survive indefinitely under the conditions of Waterworld. Perhaps Costner represented a kind of future, one that may have held promise had evolution continued. The Mariner himself was not sufficiently evolved to live without the Atoll/barter system. He could not survive in the open ocean. He needed fresh water. He couldn't even hunt the giant fish that roam Waterworld without left over dynamite. What happens when that is gone? Starvation. Kim Coates as the paper merchant, shows us that the situation in Waterworld is getting worse, and has been getting that way within Costner's lifetime. Coates had a fishing pole that he was proud of and refused to trade. When Coster kills him and throws the pole overboard, Helen protests: Coster just shakes his head "There's nothing you can catch with that". He doesn't say it, but it's clear what the end of that sentence was: "Any more". Perhaps there were fish to be caught at one time, but the remnants of humanity fished the oceans bare just like their ancestors had been doing before the poles melted


When The Mariner discovers dry land at the end, he knows that his branch of the evolutionary tree just became obsolete. Humanity now can -- and will-- survive without gills. The atoll life is still dying. That has not changed. Those left on the ocean will slowly die out, and the inhabitants of dry land have it in their interest to keep the terrestrial surface of the earth a secret. Costner is going back out to sea with supplies, that may last him a week, a month, a year... but ultimately he's setting course for a way of life that has no future, knowing that he himself has no future.

So, in that sense, it's not the mariner going home to the sea because he can't deal with life on dry land, it's the mariner doing what old Lakota elders used to do.. wander off into the winter to die of exposure, as to not be a burden on the living.


PS I also do not think he had male genitals. This is just a pet theory of mine, but given his awkward interactions with Jeanne Tripplehorn I tend to suspect he was not capable of breeding with homosapiens. He's kind of like an aquatic mule that way.
post #274 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post

PS I also do not think he had male genitals. This is just a pet theory of mine, but given his awkward interactions with Jeanne Tripplehorn I tend to suspect he was not capable of breeding with homosapiens. He's kind of like an aquatic mule that way.

That wall-eyed, Geneviève Bujoldesque, matronly, homliessence has inspired many a male to hide his genitalia.
post #275 of 541
I'd have smashed Tripplehorn in her prime. No question.

Doesn't mean Costners got no nards.
post #276 of 541
He pisses standing up. So he's got something between his legs.
post #277 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Thomas View Post
I'd have smashed Tripplehorn in her prime. No question.

Doesn't mean Costners got no nards.
I think that he most likely reproduced like a fish, or was sterile. If he had human sex organs, they were probably vestigial. Anyway, that was just ancillary thought and not essential to my point about the end of waterworld

EDIT: Neoolong, good point. Didn't think of that, but it still doesn't disprove my overall hpothesis about the Mariner and human intimacy
post #278 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoolong View Post
He pisses standing up. So he's got something between his legs.

I have seen females urinate while standing, with mixed results.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
If he had human sex organs, they were probably vestigial.

My ex-girlfriend said the exact same thing bout me.
post #279 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Black_Dahlia View Post
I have seen females urinate while standing, with mixed results.

My ex-girlfriend said the exact same thing bout me.
I don't see how he could pee into a tiny little funnell accurately without at least vestigial male sex organs for aiming. I have to agree with Neoloong there. Anyway, that was just a tossed off notion that I had considered, it is not central to my point that at the end of WATERWORLD Costner is sailing off to his death
post #280 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
PS I also do not think he had male genitals. This is just a pet theory of mine, but given his awkward interactions with Jeanne Tripplehorn I tend to suspect he was not capable of breeding with homosapiens. He's kind of like an aquatic mule that way.
I tend to think of Kevin Costner himself in exactly the same way. I can't ever imagine that man having sex with anything. The thought is too... well, weird. It's like imagining your grandparents having sex.

/derail
post #281 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
I tend to think of Kevin Costner himself in exactly the same way. I can't ever imagine that man having sex with anything. The thought is too... well, weird. It's like imagining your grandparents having sex.

/derail
Have you seen The Postman?


"Which way to Waterworld?"
post #282 of 541
Andy from Toy Story is Pixars nod to the Force from Star Wars

- Random Star Wars forum.
post #283 of 541
really?...
post #284 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBaseNick View Post
really?...
something about how it's the motivation behind every characters beliefs, and actions throughout the movies. We know little about it, but it influences everything. Surrounds them, penetrates them, binds their whole universe together.
post #285 of 541
So each of the toys has a little bit of Andy floating around in their plastic?
post #286 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by NickP View Post
something about how it's the motivation behind every characters beliefs, and actions throughout the movies. We know little about it, but it influences everything. Surrounds them, penetrates them, binds their whole universe together.
I'm really starting to believe that Star Wars super-fans are mong the worst people in the world. Instead of thinking about Andy as a metaphor for god, they instead think it's a Star Wars reference. Fuck are they idiots.
post #287 of 541
Well in all fairness to Star Wars geeks The Force = God so their really only drawing the same conclusion as everyone else and just relating to the thing they understand. That doesn't make having an unhealthy obsession with something that even the creator doesn't seem to care much about any better but I can see where their thinking comes from.
post #288 of 541
Seven is a Batman movie, with Somerset and Mills as Batman and Robin and John Doe as the Joker.
post #289 of 541
Now that, I like.
post #290 of 541
I've also seen it read as Somerset is Gordon and Mills is Batman.
post #291 of 541
I'm going back to mine.

Babies Day Out is the prequel to the Sopranos.
post #292 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Seven is a Batman movie, with Somerset and Mills as Batman and Robin and John Doe as the Joker.
So does that make Gwyneth Vicki Vale? Or Batgirl?
post #293 of 541
Batgirl.

And Lee Ermey as Commissioner Gordon.

You've even got the guy at the beginning ("He's dead, his wife killed him, anything else got nothin' to do with us") as Bullock.
post #294 of 541
"Holy Hand-Delivery, Batman! What's in the box?"
post #295 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
So does that make Gwyneth Vicki Vale? Or Batgirl?
Rachel Dawes, obviously.
post #296 of 541
post #297 of 541
"Drastic change of expression". Wait, what?
post #298 of 541
Also, not so much a "fan theory". The Joker actually says "you created me, I created you" to Batman's face during the church finale.
post #299 of 541
The fan theory would be the part where he recognizes him AT THAT MOMENT and drops him into the vat.
post #300 of 541
There's still the whole scene later where he digs into Napier's past and has the flashback, piecing it all together. I prefer the theory that says that Napier didn't even kill them; Batman just imprints the face of whoever he happens to be chasing at the time into that flashback because he's nuts like that.
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