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Jon Cryer Death Threat Investigated, Entire Planet Is Suspect

post #1 of 16
1/21/10 at 12:58pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.tmz.com/2010/01/21/jon-cr...-sheen-hitman/
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post #2 of 16
1/21/10 at 1:15pm
My guess would be still-bitter Pretty In Pink fans who thought Andie should have wound up with Duckie instead of Blaine.
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post #3 of 16
1/21/10 at 1:39pm
That's bull, Lisa, and you know it. Duckie was destined to end up with the ex-wife of a former professional wrestler from the get-go.
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post #4 of 16
1/21/10 at 1:50pm
This is obviously a better time for Hiding Out references.
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post #5 of 16
1/21/10 at 1:51pm
Recommendation: Shave beard. Change name. Hide out in high school. Fall in love with a senior. Have disguise figured out. Have hitman fall to death at assembly. Apply to the same college as high school crush.




Dammit, Felt!
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post #6 of 16
1/21/10 at 1:57pm
Maybe Sheen mistook Cryer for one of his girlfriends/wives.

Oh, and Teledork, you honor me. Arigato gozaimasu.
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post #7 of 16
1/21/10 at 2:07pm
I hope Mark Pillow is the hitman.
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post #8 of 16
1/21/10 at 3:21pm
"Destroy Jon Cryer. But first...have fun!"
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post #9 of 16
1/21/10 at 3:35pm
I'm a little worried that this stalker will mistake Moltisanti for Jon Cryer.
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post #10 of 16
1/21/10 at 3:57pm


"The deranged attacker, thinking his target was actually actor Andrew McCarthy, was seen beating Cryer senseless while screaming 'WHAT ABOUT PROM, BLAINE?' over and over again. For NBC Nightly News, I'm Brian Williams."

(See now, I'm having way more fun with the Pretty In Pink jokes.)
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post #11 of 16
1/21/10 at 5:55pm
Okay, dear heart. You keep working the PiP angle all you want. We'll be over here watching.

Mattioli: Salud!
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post #12 of 16
1/21/10 at 10:42pm
You're all way off base. It was an inside job orchestrated by Angus Jones.
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post #13 of 16
1/21/10 at 10:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
I hope Mark Pillow is the hitman.
Have you ever seen the deleted scenes from Superman IV? Where Luthor makes a sort of dipshit Bizarro Superman? Man, it's just terrible. I mean worse than the movie itself. It's stunning to see that Hackman was involved.
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post #14 of 16
1/26/10 at 1:16am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martianman View Post
I mean worse than the movie itself. It's stunning to see that Hackman was involved.
Nude photos. That's it. Has to be. Yup. Nude photos.
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post #15 of 16
1/26/10 at 7:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by soylentgreen View Post
Nude photos. That's it. Has to be. Yup. Nude photos.
Probably - it's not like Cryer's acting is any kind of a threat.
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post #16 of 16
1/26/10 at 9:22pm
Well there was The Famous Teddy Z.
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