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Paying for sex - Page 2

post #51 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by OCallaghan View Post
EDIT: Forget it. I know better.
It was clearly a question directed solely at Cleo. Unless they're any other sex workers from the UK who would like to chime in with an answer, I wouldn't expect anyone else to reply to my post...
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post #52 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
There are people today getting into porn because they think they can get a real movie career out of it, and that's coming true. Right now the crossover is into other trashy things, but Tera Patrick has a fucking book that's selling copies. Sasha Grey was in a Soderbergh movie.

While Chloe Sevigny has already sucked a dick on camera we still need another mainstream star to do real fucking on screen to cross the divide. European filmmakers are going there - Gaspar Noe's ENTER THE VOID is damn explicit, and he can possibly get real talent in the future willing to do really crazy things. Lars Von Trier got Charlotte Gainsbourg to masturbate on camera. That's the beginning of the big change.
But all of that took decades, which underlines my original point to Dave. If a law were to go into effect tomorrow making prostitution legal in every state, it wouldn't cause attitudes to change overnight. Our relationship with sex is entirely too fucked up for that.
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post #53 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:15am
One of the bigger issues with the sex industry in Britain is that the girls themselves are really easy prey a lot of the time. This isn't a misogynistic 'girls can't protect themselves from big bad men' sort of thing, but there are still an alarming number of prostitutes who are abducted, murdered or brutally beaten in Britain.

Especially in some of the rougher cities you've got to take your life in your hands if you're hanging out, alone, in the middle of the morning. There's also the fact that prostitutes can be easy victims because no one notices their disappearance because people try to imagine they're not their anyways. There was a terrible thing in my home city back in the 90s where the Islamic community in an Area called Manningham sort of drove the prostitutes out of that area and towards the inner city where they were less visible and four or five girls were killed almost immediately following that relocation because they were off the radar.

Also: Well done Kate, you've managed to legitimately annoy me with that post. Your trolling work is exemplary.
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post #54 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:20am
I can't really agree with you Devin. While porn is certainly becoming more "common" what with the internet and all, I don't feel we're that much closer to it crossing over anymore than we were when Deep Throat came out in the 70's or Traci Lords did a few legit movies in the early 90's or Jenna Jameson's cross over in the late 90's. It's kind of always been where it's at these days and Chloe Sevigny isn't the best of examples of this, her career completely stalled after that B-job (btw: I loved that movie).

I just feel like while porn certainly isn't spoken about in hushed tones like it used to be, it's status doesn't seem to have changed much to me in the last 15 years or so that I've been fully aware of it. Maybe I was too aware of it and my view of it is skewed... if ya know what I mean. Hayooo!
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post #55 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
Also: Well done Kate, you've managed to legitimately annoy me with that post. Your trolling work is exemplary.
I will be brief, because I do NOT want to derail the thread

1) My post was a question to Cleo
2) Unless you have something to say about the content of my post, why respond at all?
3) I am not trolling. I had a quick on topic question, and now rather than talk about the topic at hand, people are talking about my post (but not about anything I said in it, bizarrely)

Why? Why does this still happen?


PS My goal was also not to offend you if you're a UK person. It was a legitimate question about the UK, in response to a conversation I had earlier this week. So, again, I certainly didn't mean to annoy you
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post #56 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:38am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
I had a quick on topic question...
Haha
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post #57 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy Q View Post
Isn't that what anyone that does manual labor does, already? Everyone that works is renting out their body, mind or both. Its your own morality that dictates how you are willing to sell yourself. You wouldn't sell your body in a sexual way and that's completely fair but what someone else does with their body shouldn't matter to you.

I think folks like yourself (and I'm not attacking you) are under the impression that when something in direct contrast to your own personal morals gets legitimized it somehow undermines those morals.
Ehhh....not really. If prostitution was legalized I don't think I would be up in arms over it. And I don't know if my opinion is based on personal morals so much as I think there are probably better career paths out there than prostitute. Like I can't imagine there are too many women out there who have ever said "Oh, if only I followed my dreams when I was younger and became a prostitute!". But I might be wrong.

I tend to feel two ways about it. On one hand I sometimes think if someone is willing to pay for sex, and another is willing to be paid for it what's the problem? But then I'll hear a story of some girl who got into prostitution as a result of growing up and having her self worth based purely on her looks and who was introduced to sex at a young age and think she could do so much more with herself. That she has more to offer than just her body. I don't think working in an office and getting paid to have sex are comparable. Sex isn't work. At least it shouldn't be.
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post #58 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
...There's also the fact that prostitutes can be easy victims because no one notices their disappearance because people try to imagine they're not their anyways. There was a terrible thing in my home city back in the 90s where the Islamic community in an Area called Manningham sort of drove the prostitutes out of that area and towards the inner city where they were less visible and four or five girls were killed almost immediately following that relocation because they were off the radar.
Seeing the Robert Pickton Trial play out in my home province, really got me on the side of legalization. Pickton may have murdered up to 49 prostitutes. He was able to do so because there weren't any safeguards in place for the working girls on Vancouver's East side.

That's why I'd prefer to see legalized brothels, where security is in place to discourage violence.
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post #59 of 405
1/24/10 at 1:00am
I have a legitimate question for Cleo...and one that is actually related to the topic she posted. Cleo, if you are working for yourself, how do you usually meet your clients? Do you put an ad out in classifieds in the paper or online, or go through an agency?

Also, I'm not sure how long you have been working in the industry, but have you ever walked away from a client based on you not being attracted to them? I've never paid for sex, and I'm not sure I ever would (but I think the legalization of prostitution is fine as long as there are safety regulations). However, in the past I've wondered what is going through the minds of exotic dancers and call girls when they're paired up with a person they are physically repelled by.
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post #60 of 405
1/24/10 at 1:09am
Does anyone know whether having sex for money in a porn movie (or streaming vid) is legal in every U.S. state? It would be interesting to read an argument that attempts to justify criminalizing my direct payment to you in exchange for sex while allowing us to have sex as long as we are both being paid by a third party (who is filming the "transaction"). Is it important to preserve my amateur status (and trust me ladies, it's pretty amateur)?
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post #61 of 405
1/24/10 at 1:38am
Any human being that gets asked the question "how much for me and my buddies to go all family style on you?" really needs to pause, take a deep breath and do some self reflection as to why that question was asked of him or her.

And walk away. Just...walk away.
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post #62 of 405
1/24/10 at 2:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Walker View Post
Any human being that gets asked the question "how much for me and my buddies to go all family style on you?" really needs to pause, take a deep breath and do some self reflection as to why that question was asked of him or her.

And walk away. Just...walk away.
Well hold on, let's not be hasty with this decision. What kinda action are we talkin' here? Is this Steve Jobs and his friends or some dudes from the local Ralph's? Life isn't black and white, Walker. Sometimes there is plenty of green...
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post #63 of 405
1/24/10 at 3:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy Q View Post
Well hold on, let's not be hasty with this decision. What kinda action are we talkin' here? Is this Steve Jobs and his friends or some dudes from the local Ralph's? Life isn't black and white, Walker. Sometimes there is plenty of green...
I see where you're coming from, and I can understand how participating in a sex party thrown by some of the richest people in the world could be a bonaza. However, I don't think it's a situation that's as grey as you might think.

Any human being that comes across the gentleman in my avatar box, which will happen, and hears his demand -and it's a doozy of a demand- really needs to pause, take a deep breath and do some self reflection as to how he or she put themselves in this position.

And walk away. Just...walk away.
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post #64 of 405
1/24/10 at 4:45am
I've paid for sex several times when I was younger. They were always on business trips when I didn't have the time, patience or energy to go to the local bar.

I was always too excited to think of the moral and legal ramifications of what I was doing. I opened the phone book or surfed the net, it was available, so I called and got what I wanted very easily.

I don't see anything wrong with paying for sex or being a sex worker because there are other forms of currency being exchanged in normal relationships. I think we all pay for sex in one way or another.

I once knew a girl who was from Australia...she stayed at the hostel I worked at. She was very attractive and had an amazing body...I was attracted to her but for some reason or other we became fast friends and nothing more. She didn't have much money and I joked one night that she should strip for money. I didn't expect her to take the challenge. She started stripping and I remember feeling kind of bad about it. I guess it was because I knew her. It's too bad because she moved to NY and I did like her.

As I mentioned in the Ballad of Chasey Lain thread, my roommate is currently dating a well known ex porn star. She's been out of the guy-girl part of it for about five years now and strictly does lebian and directs from her own production company. There are alot of grey areas here obviously, but she regrets the stuff she used to do and chalked it up to being young and gullible. Personally I don't have much of an opinion about it. She did it, fine, hasn't much to do with me or my beliefs, which is, I don't care what people do as long as they aren't harming anyone.

As a side thought, I think sex in America in general is horribly stigmatized and needs a facelift.
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post #65 of 405
1/24/10 at 6:31am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
If prostitution/escorting (is even saying prostitution pejorative? I dont want to offend anyone) were completely legal and supported/respect by the law and government officials, would you make it a full time job?
Absolutely yes. I'm only holding on to the retail job so I don't have a massive gap on my CV if and when I quit this. If I keep getting the income after my boob job in February (if it goes wrong or if they don't suit me I could lose clients, which is why I'm waiting until then) then I might take something with less hours or maybe go into volunteering instead, but I'm not going to rush into deciding that.


Quote:
Actually, about this point I'm curious as to what's been Cleo's experience. Europeans are much more relaxed generally in their sexual attitudes, but the US and the Brits share a common ancestry here in our fuddy-duddy-ness. What do you think, Cleo?
I would say Britain is more relaxed than the US, but less so than the rest of Europe, definitely. We're somewhere between the two. Never mind the social stigma of sex work, the social stigma of being a slut is massive on it's own. I'm hated at my day job because of the way I was dancing with a friend at the work Christmas party. Seriously.

Quite a few of my clients seem ashamed to be here. I'm good at putting people at ease but they often turn up shaky and too embarrassed to ask for what they want. I hate seeing people in that situation and I hate that our prudish society does that to them.

Quote:
Princess Kate being Princess Kate
There is some snobbishness over accents, but you don't run into it much. Classism is going out of fashion. I don't change my accent for work, but my accent is deeply weird anyway (from living all over, got a bit of south london, a bit of yorkshire and I'm starting to pick up a few bits of geordie. I've been told I sound australian and american before as well, it's bizarre).

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Like I can't imagine there are too many women out there who have ever said "Oh, if only I followed my dreams when I was younger and became a prostitute!". But I might be wrong.
When I was with my ex and thought it was permanent, this was me. I always wanted to at least try doing this type of work, and was upset that I hadn't had the chance to see if I liked it or not. I still want to learn pole dancing and give that a go as well, but when I had the time I didn't have the money and now I have more than enough money but no time.

Quote:
Sex isn't work. At least it shouldn't be.
But this right here gives away what you actually think. It's not about protecting girls, it's not about our emotional state. It's about control. Sex isn't about earning money is just one of a series of things i've been told sex is or isn't about. It isn't about fun, it isn't about two women. It is about having children, it is about love, it is about marriage. Well you know what? Fuck that. Sex is about two or more people doing what they want to do and defining it their own way. Don't like sex for money? Don't have it and don't pay for it.

Quote:
Cleo, if you are working for yourself, how do you usually meet your clients? Do you put an ad out in classifieds in the paper or online, or go through an agency?
I use a website which essentially works like a dating site, just with business transactions :P I get emails and calls from my ad there which I respond to and arrange bookings myself. The site is for both escorts and models/actors in the adult industry, and also photographers, makeup artists, etc who are willing to do adult work.

I've been offered work with an agency, which was very flattering as they are expensive and have some beautiful girls that work for them. But I'm very wary of working for someone else as it gets less legal and it would be less easy to just walk away from. I would also have to do outcalls at short notice which breaks my personal security rules.

Quote:
Also, I'm not sure how long you have been working in the industry, but have you ever walked away from a client based on you not being attracted to them? I've never paid for sex, and I'm not sure I ever would (but I think the legalization of prostitution is fine as long as there are safety regulations). However, in the past I've wondered what is going through the minds of exotic dancers and call girls when they're paired up with a person they are physically repelled by.
I've not been doing this long (I was in a monogamous relationship until early December) but I have had some clients who weren't exactly my type Thing is, it really is business not pleasure. If I was out at a club and they approached me maybe I'd turn them down, but as it is I'm not bothered. It's like a different part of my sexuality does my job from the one that does my personal life. Plus, as I've said before, a lot of them are incredibly nervous and insecure. That overrides anything else, I hate seeing people feeling trapped by their sexual needs and always want to help deal with that before thinking about anything else.

Sorry for the epic length post and I hope I caught everyone's questions. I've got some time to kill this morning thanks to yet another fucking cancellation.
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post #66 of 405
1/24/10 at 6:35am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by t3cii View Post
If people should have the right to do want they want to their bodies I don't think we have the right to make money off of them.
Just spotted this. So you're against manual workers paying any income tax then?
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post #67 of 405
1/24/10 at 7:03am
I grew up with a a very strong feminist mother and sister, I've always been very respectful of women in general. Yet I'm ashamed to admit that this thread made me realize how hypocritical I can be. I've been on this forum for years and been on others as well, I've always hated when a new girl joins the discussion the discussion devolves to being about her and her "attributes/availability(this is a rare on Chud, but I think we all know what I'm talking about).

So I'm embarrassed to say when Cleo mentioned getting breast implants I immediately thought to myself; "I wonder if I PM her she'll send me before and after pics". I honestly don't think I would have ever considered sending LisaNY, Miss Zooey, or Cocoa a PM like that. But learning what I have Cleo, I apparently think differently. I like to think I'm broadminded but I'm not all the way there yet.
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post #68 of 405
1/24/10 at 8:52am
Quote:
Originally Posted by t3cii View Post
But I might be wrong.
Shoulda stopped right there.
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post #69 of 405
1/24/10 at 10:12am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by McIrish View Post
I grew up with a a very strong feminist mother and sister, I've always been very respectful of women in general. Yet I'm ashamed to admit that this thread made me realize how hypocritical I can be. I've been on this forum for years and been on others as well, I've always hated when a new girl joins the discussion the discussion devolves to being about her and her "attributes/availability(this is a rare on Chud, but I think we all know what I'm talking about).

So I'm embarrassed to say when Cleo mentioned getting breast implants I immediately thought to myself; "I wonder if I PM her she'll send me before and after pics". I honestly don't think I would have ever considered sending LisaNY, Miss Zooey, or Cocoa a PM like that. But learning what I have Cleo, I apparently think differently. I like to think I'm broadminded but I'm not all the way there yet.
I'm not sure that I'd see that as being un-feminist or hypocritical, myself. You're a straight (I'm assuming, either that or bi) guy and I'm female. I'm drawing attention to the sexual side of myself through my work and through discussing my work publically. You know I'm the kind of girl that would be receptive to a PM like that, whereas the others probably wouldn't.

I think you can be a feminist in sex work, you can be feminist and hire sex workers, and you can be a feminist and wonder what a girl's breasts look like. I am choosing to, during working hours, present myself as a sex object. I'm making that decision in an informed and independent way, with the knowledge that it doesn't disempower me at all and doesn't effect my personal life.
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post #70 of 405
1/24/10 at 10:39am
A good friend of mine (I was in his wedding, he was in mine) did this to pay his rent through college. It wasn't quite prostitution in the sense that he was soliciting clients or anything, so his experiences might not entirely line up with yours. He was involved in the local community theater and one night at cast party when drunk and older woman in the play offered him money for sex (100 dollars iirc). Basically they set up an arrangement where once a week they hooked up, and she gave him cash. Ironically she was a lawyer in the DA's office here in town. I saw a picture of her once, and she was somewhat overweight, and not particularly attractive, but she also wasn't hideous. I'd have probably done the same thing had the offer arisen.

I'm pretty sure he hasn't told his wife about the financial component of the relationship, though that may have changed in the last year or so. It wasn't at all a big deal to him, and didn't seem to cause any moral, emotional, or ethical issues with him at all beyond the fact that I took special pleasure in calling him a whore when he beat me shooting hoops.

Oh, and a few years back I was talking to a young lady at a party and it happened to come out that she was a stripper. Over the course of talking about it I happened to ask her if it was a difficult job, and her reply was this, pretty much verbatim:

"I worked as a waitress before stripping, and that was a hell of a lot more demeaning than shaking my cunt in some fat guy's face for singles."
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post #71 of 405
1/24/10 at 10:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveB View Post
Plus, it's entirely possible that the lion's share of the emotional problems a sex worker might face stem directly from the stigma you mention and not the physical work, itself. I suspect that legalization would go a long way toward removing the stigma. People have a weird relationship with the law when it comes to acceptable and unacceptable behavior. When an authority tells us that something that was previously unacceptable is now acceptable, cultural attitudes toward it can shift pretty quickly.

ETA: Or roughly what Banks just wrote.
Oh, this was entirely my point - why I called it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't think legalization would change things overnight, but it would be a step in the right direction.
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post #72 of 405
1/24/10 at 12:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Louris View Post
"I worked as a waitress before stripping, and that was a hell of a lot more demeaning than shaking my cunt in some fat guy's face for singles."
Waffle House. Graveyard Shift. I know what she means.
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post #73 of 405
1/24/10 at 1:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveB View Post
One thing I find weird about this conversation (and all conversations about prostitution) are the recurring "you're always paying for it" comments.

If you insist on monetizing sexual relationships that aren't intrinsically monetized (like prostitution), unless you're absolutely awful in bed, isn't it more of an equal exchange of services? With prostitution, the prostitute isn't necessarily getting off. She's receiving money for your pleasure.

To put a finer point on it, if you feel like you're paying for sex when you buy your significant other a nice dinner or a gift, maybe you ought to think about... well, doing a better job of fucking him/her, thus leaving the buying of said stuff non-obligatory.
For the record, my comment was a joke. Someone was bound to say it, I put it out there first.

Secondly, the analogy isn't a strictly monetary exchange. Usually when people make that comment, they are referring to the emotional commitment associated with being in a relationship (the whole, "tied down" sentiment), which isn't my personal belief.

I don't care what other people do with their bodies, hence my original post wasn't longer than a sentence.
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post #74 of 405
1/24/10 at 2:10pm
Prostitution, drugs, gambling... we spend an awful lot of time and money trying to keep people from doing things that only harm themselves. The result is a society-crippling amount of crime. I think from a purely pragmatic point of view the best thing we could do is legalize all three.

On the personal side, I don't see anything wrong with it - hell, I wish I could make money by taking off my clothes or having sex... Perhaps a career in comedy!

It does seem like it'd be very difficult to start or maintain a relationship while an active sex worker. While I'd have little problem dating someone who did that in the past, if it were their current career it'd be a certain dealbreaker.

Cleo, you seem to want to make this your full-time job... Does that mean you'll limit your personal dating pool to men who don't care that you're having sexual encounters with others? Or will the career always be a temporary thing to the whims of your dating success? That seems like an extremely difficult thing to balance.
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post #75 of 405
1/24/10 at 2:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleo View Post


There is some snobbishness over accents, but you don't run into it much. Classism is going out of fashion. I don't change my accent for work, but my accent is deeply weird anyway (from living all over, got a bit of south london, a bit of yorkshire and I'm starting to pick up a few bits of geordie. I've been told I sound australian and american before as well, it's bizarre).


.

Ahh ok, I see. I was just curious because in America many people do not have any accent at all (at least that can pinpointed to an exact area of the country*), so it's kind of a novel concept to me. Thanks for the info, Cleo.



*Though before television, radio, and the highways, you'd often be able to pinpoint a person's home town geographically with tremendous precision just by studying their accents with a careful ear

PS: I'm a bit of a mimic when it comes to my accent. When speaking naturally, I have an accent that is completely non specific**. But if I spend time in the company of foreigners, or southerners, ETC, I find myself beginning to immitate their speech patterns and vocal inflections as I talk. I'm always worried that it will offend someone, but it's kind of a subconscious thing.

**When I hear myself anyway, when I've played back recording of my own voice, I have a very slight Massachusetts accent. However, friends of mine have stated on occasion that I have no accent at all. So it's tough to tell.
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post #76 of 405
1/24/10 at 2:51pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Farsight View Post
Cleo, you seem to want to make this your full-time job... Does that mean you'll limit your personal dating pool to men who don't care that you're having sexual encounters with others? Or will the career always be a temporary thing to the whims of your dating success? That seems like an extremely difficult thing to balance.
It's complicated, right now I don't want a relationship as I just got out of one so I haven't had to think too hard just yet. I can't see myself giving up a fun and well paid job for a relationship, and I would definitely aim to date people who would be ok with it. For the right person if it was a really big deal I might be willing to quit, but I'm honestly not sure.
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post #77 of 405
1/24/10 at 3:14pm
So I'm gonna be That Guy and say that each time I see this thread pop up in new answers I read it as "Praying for sex"
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post #78 of 405
1/24/10 at 3:49pm
In Canada there's an issue with newcomers seeing prostitutes here, and the government is reacting with propaganda they're about to spread everywhere, that this activity is immoral, and it's emotionally damaging to both parties; who are forced to undergo mental health counseling. What a farce! Sorry Cleo, I guess you're just fucking insane and cannot understand what's best for you, or even tell the difference between reality and imagination. Of course, many sex workers here are from the underclass, who do have some problems, but these problems are from other societal causes...many Canadians just don't want to ask these questions, especially the post-secondary educational establishment, which is becoming intellectually bankrupt on topics like this.
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post #79 of 405
1/24/10 at 3:54pm
Since no one has asked yet: what do I get for my money? Is it a la carte?

In all seriousness I don't see why sex can't be regulated like any other industry. We'd be better served as a society if your crazy/religious/whackjob loners would get laid more often, and anything that meets that end is OK with me.
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post #80 of 405
1/24/10 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Farsight View Post
Prostitution, drugs, gambling... we spend an awful lot of time and money trying to keep people from doing things that only harm themselves. The result is a society-crippling amount of crime. I think from a purely pragmatic point of view the best thing we could do is legalize all three.

On the personal side, I don't see anything wrong with it - hell, I wish I could make money by taking off my clothes or having sex... Perhaps a career in comedy!

.
Well, one of those three things you mention is not like the others. Drug abuse and Gambling can have devastating effects on an individual's family and friends, to say nothing of the random murder via DUI.

Paying for sex is simply a recreational activity, not that different from hooking up with someone at a bar. In fact I'm sure many a marriage has been saved because one or both parties can work out their needs/kinks/whatever by engaging with sex workers.
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post #81 of 405
1/24/10 at 6:53pm
Holy crap. A (mostly) decent discussion in the Sex Forum. Times are changing.
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post #82 of 405
1/24/10 at 6:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylon Baby View Post

In fact I'm sure many a marriage has been saved because one or both parties can work out their needs/kinks/whatever by engaging with sex workers.
Bingo! Everyone I have known who has ever been in the Sex Industry always say the biggest percentage of their clients are guys, mainly, who have become frustrated at the lack of sexual contact in relationships with people they really, really love and care for but, for whatever reason, the sex has died off. Seeing Professionals is a good way for them to get that sexual frustration out of their system with someone who isn't as much of a danger to the relationship as a new lover.
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post #83 of 405
1/25/10 at 12:42am
I also think it's a been proven that the places that have legalized prostitution have far fewer problems with it than places that don't.

Look, if the person is a grown up who clearly knows what they want to do, it's their body, and I don't see why the whole rest of the world should have an issue with it. As long as you're being careful all around, then what skin is it off of anyone else's nose?
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post #84 of 405
1/25/10 at 5:59am
The whole thing leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I've been working abroad for a while now, and mostly in the developing world. I've seen some horrible shit done to prostitutes (a quick aside, watch out for UN career people, total assholes). Seeing how they're constantly screwed over in every way, kinda deflates the whole empowerment thing a few women might be enjoying in some of the more well-off places in the world. Not trying to judge anyone here.
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post #85 of 405
1/25/10 at 6:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylon Baby
Well, one of those three things you mention is not like the others. Drug abuse and Gambling can have devastating effects on an individual's family and friends, to say nothing of the random murder via DUI.
Then we need to outlaw alcohol and stock trading, painkillers and the lottery.

When you try to argue a chain reaction, you can make anything people do to themselves into a danger to others. But in those cases, it's not the prostitution or drugs or gambling that's hurting others; it's the person. That's the risk you take by being part of a society.

At any rate, I'd just say society would be better off if we just tried to prevent people from directly harming one another, and spent the rest of our time and money on things other than enforcement of morality. To get back fully on-topic, that means people's disapproval of prostitution should be limited to crass insults and tongue-clucking instead of police action and a constant eye on everyone's bedrooms and private parts.
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post #86 of 405
1/25/10 at 7:29am
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post #87 of 405
1/25/10 at 7:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali View Post
The whole thing leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I've been working abroad for a while now, and mostly in the developing world. I've seen some horrible shit done to prostitutes (a quick aside, watch out for UN career people, total assholes). Seeing how they're constantly screwed over in every way, kinda deflates the whole empowerment thing a few women might be enjoying in some of the more well-off places in the world. Not trying to judge anyone here.
But again, that's a perfect reason to legalize it. Legalization would offer more protection for both the women and their customers alike.
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post #88 of 405
1/25/10 at 11:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali View Post
The whole thing leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I've been working abroad for a while now, and mostly in the developing world. I've seen some horrible shit done to prostitutes (a quick aside, watch out for UN career people, total assholes). Seeing how they're constantly screwed over in every way, kinda deflates the whole empowerment thing a few women might be enjoying in some of the more well-off places in the world. Not trying to judge anyone here.
I dunno, when you're talking about countries that, well, may barely even have a functional infrastructure, or a government that's perhaps only a step or two removed from being psychotic, I don't see how you're arguing against regulation. Plain old fucking is just really bad in some countries with high HIV rates. And of course, somebody who is particularly destitute, and doesn't have any access to resources, or a stake in a means of production, has little else to exploit but their own body.
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post #89 of 405
1/25/10 at 12:17pm
Yeah, you guys make good points. Maybe legalization and a more developed infrastructure would help to fight exploitation in the industry in the future. I'm NOT arguing against legalization. All I'm saying is my personal feeling on the topic. Serious exploitation does occur in the industry today, even in developed countries like the UK and the US. I'm not presuming anything about Cleo's lifestyle or anything but it does occur for people in the fringes. And so I'd feel uncomfortable about paying for prostitution. But that's just my bag.
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post #90 of 405
1/25/10 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylon Baby View Post
In fact I'm sure many a marriage has been saved because one or both parties can work out their needs/kinks/whatever by engaging with sex workers.
Okay, after reading through this topic, I've become intrigued enough to jump in.

I seem to recall an article a couple of years ago that talked about an actual sex therapy company for couples where the "therapists" would help their clients through sexual difficulties. Example - if a husband or wife was having problems with the intimate aspects pf their marriege, he or she would go to this place and one of the workers would help him or her through their issues by any sexual means necessary. And apparently the company's track record was pretty damn good. Many couples interviewed attested to how much it helped their relationships. I was really impressed after I read it.

I do have a question for Cleo, and it's probably a silly one, but I'm curious: have you seen the "Diary of a Callgirl" series, and what is your opinion of it as a representation of the business?
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post #91 of 405
1/26/10 at 12:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Ahh ok, I see. I was just curious because in America many people do not have any accent at all (at least that can pinpointed to an exact area of the country*), so it's kind of a novel concept to me. Thanks for the info, Cleo.



*Though before television, radio, and the highways, you'd often be able to pinpoint a person's home town geographically with tremendous precision just by studying their accents with a careful ear

PS: I'm a bit of a mimic when it comes to my accent. When speaking naturally, I have an accent that is completely non specific**. But if I spend time in the company of foreigners, or southerners, ETC, I find myself beginning to immitate their speech patterns and vocal inflections as I talk. I'm always worried that it will offend someone, but it's kind of a subconscious thing.

**When I hear myself anyway, when I've played back recording of my own voice, I have a very slight Massachusetts accent. However, friends of mine have stated on occasion that I have no accent at all. So it's tough to tell.
How can you not have an accent? If a person sounds like they don't have an accent to you that means they have an American accent and you're just used to it.
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post #92 of 405
1/26/10 at 12:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
How can you not have an accent? If a person sounds like they don't have an accent to you that means they have an American accent and you're just used to it.
Yeah, I mean hell Kate, where you are from, I'm sure as hell you have an accent. So did the people of South Carolina when I lived there for a summer, then again I'm from Indiana, so to you Kate or anyone else, I might have an accent.
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post #93 of 405
1/26/10 at 10:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
How can you not have an accent? If a person sounds like they don't have an accent to you that means they have an American accent and you're just used to it.
See; you are trying to get sense out of her again. There in lies the path to madness. We have gone over this before!
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post #94 of 405
1/26/10 at 10:39am
Back on topic people!!! Paying for sex, nothing wrong as long as your being safe.
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post #95 of 405
1/26/10 at 10:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by OCallaghan View Post
See; you are trying to get sense out of her again. There in lies the path to madness. We have gone over this before!
Seriously, disengage folks!!!
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post #96 of 405
1/26/10 at 4:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
How can you not have an accent? If a person sounds like they don't have an accent to you that means they have an American accent and you're just used to it.
I mean that I sound American, but that it would be difficult next to impossible to figure out where in the country I'm from just by my accent alone

You might be able to tell I'm not southern or hispanic, but beyond that, you'd be hard pressed to know I'm from Massachusetts. I'm half way between NYC and Bean Town, and have not a trace of either accent (despite being born in NYC)

Hope that answers any questions, I do not wish to derail the thread
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post #97 of 405
1/26/10 at 5:45pm
Cleo,

by simply moving from the South to Newcastle you automatically catapult yourself into the top 1% of attractiveness, might as well cash in on it.

Invariably your colleagues hate you because you are southern and more attractive than them.

If you've thought about it and are going in with your eyes open (go talk to some hookers up there if you haven't already) then you should be fine (safer than ipswich!).

I'm more concerned that you're getting a boob job - do you really need one (two)?
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post #98 of 405
1/26/10 at 7:24pm
Never been with one, but just wonderin': if a porn star or prostitute gets smeared with cum, face fucked and butt hammered six times a day for weeks, months, is she still able to enjoy coming home and making the sweet love to someone?

I'm sure there are lots of prostitutes/hookers/escorts who are really into it and loving the high frequency of sex they get and have for a living, but I somehow have my doubts.
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post #99 of 405
1/26/10 at 8:09pm
I used to be a chef; I'd cook 200 meals a day and I'd still come home, cook dinner and eat.
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post #100 of 405
1/26/10 at 8:48pm
Hey I've just moved to Newcastle so...do you do A Levels?

Seriously though, good luck with it. I knew two girls at uni who worked as strippers at the same time and I think one of them worked as an escort as well but she didn't like to talk about it for obvious reasons. They seemed to manage it fine, I just don't get this Victorian hangover of people berating women they don't know because they choose to sell sex, it doesn't affect them in anyway.

I've never paid for sex myself but a lot of my male friends have when we were in Amsterdam (very tempting though, the women are incredible over there), now that's a place that has got the right idea.
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