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Nerd Stench

post #1 of 369
1/26/10 at 5:03am
Thread Starter 
Use this thread to ask the questions that people of a much higher social standing w(sh)ould punch you in your nerdy face for asking.

My contribution:

How the hell does childbirth in the Matrix work? Do two people meet, get on, fuck and then the robots panic as they physically have to switch sperm in the real world?
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post #2 of 369
1/26/10 at 5:31am
I will out nerd you. I would imagine that we are all test tube babies. They would extract the eggs and sperms, or better yet we may be bioengineered from the start. Designed, developed, and created in a factory, much like the batteries that we use.
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post #3 of 369
1/26/10 at 5:31am
I though this was going to be about, ya know, actual smelly nerds.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Hughes View Post
My contribution:

How the hell does childbirth in the Matrix work? Do two people meet, get on, fuck and then the robots panic as they physically have to switch sperm in the real world?
The machines are the parents. They grow the fetuses in the real word and then I guess when there's a pregnancy in the matrix the machines connect the sleeping minds of the real world baby into that of a newly born matrix child.
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post #4 of 369
1/26/10 at 5:35am
Way to shatter my illusions. So there's no flufferbot?
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post #5 of 369
1/26/10 at 5:37am
Why does a person in the Matrix, a place that only exists in our minds, have to be pregnant in real life just because they are pregnant in the matrix? The machines can make us see each other in any way it wants. If we are born in the matrix, we are never really awake and have never really seen what we look like.

Back to the baby thing, they did show all of those babies in the glass containers, so they are never really "carried" by a mother.
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post #6 of 369
1/26/10 at 5:54am
As much as I would like to see more properties use the fetus dispensing machines from Blade II, I prefer to think that artificial insemination takes place and that women who are pregnant in the Matrix carry the real children of the fathers they meet in the Matrix.

One of the important "how the world works" rules of the trilogy is the presence of biofeedback between the avatar and the physical self (as seen when physical harm inflicted in the virtual world carries over into meatspace), and real pregnancy seems like it would be thematically faithful to that.

This same rule allows the resemblance between the avatar and the physical body to be more than just a storytelling convenience. As hoodwinked by their neural implants as the human batteries' physical senses may be, they're still aware enough of their bodies to know what their faces look like.
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post #7 of 369
1/26/10 at 6:02am
So when they showed the machines and all of the acres of fetuses being grown, what are those about?
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post #8 of 369
1/26/10 at 6:42am
Ewwww, smells like nerd in here....
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post #9 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrichead View Post
So when they showed the machines and all of the acres of fetuses being grown, what are those about?
Agent Smith is a huge stem cell research advocate.
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post #10 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:28am
Why does our world have to exist in The Matrix at all?

Why couldn't the robots hook us up to some dream that just keeps us happy and tripping for the whole of our corporeal existence?

Then we wouldn't need computers and certain characters would never have discovered The Matrix existed at all. Seriously - if the robots just gave us our dreams and desires, no one would ever need to look for a way out.

I'd sign up tomorrow!

Why am I having this conversation?
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post #11 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
Why couldn't the robots hook us up to some dream that just keeps us happy and tripping for the whole of our corporeal existence?
The machines tried that in one of the earlier Matrix iterations. The humans rejected it.
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post #12 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
The machines tried that in one of the earlier Matrix iterations. The humans rejected it.
I know I shouldn't ask but...

...why?
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post #13 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
I know I shouldn't ask but...

...why?
Did you watch the movies? It was right there explicitly stated in it.
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post #14 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:56am
I don't think the movie goes into much more detail than "they rejected it." If I had to make up an explanation, I'd say that conflict and failure are integral parts of the human experience, and that we'd go insane out of boredom without them.
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post #15 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:57am
It was part of why Smith hated us all so bad- we couldn't deal with a perfect world, we needed a flawed, smelly nerd existence.
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post #16 of 369
1/26/10 at 11:58am
Most nerds manage to pay attention during movies. You guys can't even muster up that level of film analysis. Good show!
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post #17 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex B View Post
Most nerds manage to pay attention during movies. You guys can't even muster up that level of film analysis. Good show!
Is this an insult or praise?
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post #18 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
The machines tried that in one of the earlier Matrix iterations. The humans rejected it.
Was that just in some throw away piece of dialogue? I've seen the original a few times, but the second two only once.
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post #19 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:01pm
Because it wasn't realistic enough. One of Smith's tirades while he had Morpheus was that they were set in 1999, the height of "somethingorother", because mankind needed conflict. Also, mankind is the only mammal or somesuch that acts like a virus, sucking the earth dry for our on benefit.

All that was paraphrased, and could be misquoted. I may be a nerd, but I'm not popping in the DVD to get the quotes just right.

And now I expect (and want!) the proper nerd response. For people to correct me with the exact phrasing and the exact motivation behind them. Don't let me down nerdlings.

Damn, I type to slow for the nerd thread...
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post #20 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:03pm
Agent Smith mentions it when he's interrogating Morpheus in the first one, and then the Architect rambles on about it during his nonsensical speech in Reloaded.
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post #21 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex B View Post
Most nerds manage to pay attention during movies. You guys can't even muster up that level of film analysis. Good show!
Who's "you guys", asshat?
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post #22 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mattioli View Post
who's "you guys", asshat?
neeeeeeeerd fiiiiiiiiight!!!!
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post #23 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:07pm
The guys in this thread that clearly weren't paying attention during the movie. Don't get so touchy.
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post #24 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean Blackwell View Post
neeeeeeeerd fiiiiiiiiight!!!!

Just don't hit my glasses.
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post #25 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:08pm
Please let this thread evolve into some sort of nerd emotional breakdown where we can't remember a throwaway line from the Matrix and someone berates us for NOT KNOWING THE WORDS!

<fingers crossed/>
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post #26 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
Was that just in some throw away piece of dialogue? I've seen the original a few times, but the second two only once.
It was during the Architect's speech so missing it is understandable.
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post #27 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:09pm
Next! But I can't think of any other movies..
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post #28 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:13pm
Okay another Matrix one then. We can think of others along the way. This is going to be a fun thread, I can see.

So, concerning when Neo zaps the um whatchamacallits in the "real" world and then passes out. Is it really the real world or just another layer of the Matrix. I've heard that bantered about.
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post #29 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:16pm
The whatchamacallits had a name! Weren't you paying attention??

You've no business here!
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post #30 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
It was during the Architect's speech so missing it is understandable.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I slept through that.
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post #31 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
The whatchamacallits had a name! Weren't you paying attention??

You've no business here!
Okay, okay, when Jeff and Bob got zapped...
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post #32 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:19pm
I took it that he did it against those squid things in the real world. My one question is that did Neo use anymore of these "real world" powers? I'st been far too long since I've seen the films.
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post #33 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:20pm
Are you nerds gonna sit around and talk about nothing but The Matrix in this thread, or do I have to give you all swirlies? I thought this was for general nerdiosity?
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post #34 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:20pm
Smith states how people rejected it. Maybe you remember the line "Entire crops were lost"?

Can we get a "no Star Wars talk" ruling in this thread? You know that shit is going to pop up, might as well preempt it.
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post #35 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex B View Post
Most nerds manage to pay attention during movies. You guys can't even muster up that level of film analysis. Good show!
Hey! I can quote Empire Strikes Back verbatim! Don't you test me junior!
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post #36 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex B View Post
Don't get so touchy.

Peace offering?
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post #37 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post

Peace offering?
Depends, do you need that mouse back for anything? 'Cos I... you know...
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post #38 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Can we get a "no Star Wars talk" ruling in this thread? You know that shit is going to pop up, might as well preempt it.
In that case I got nothing to bring but insults and LOLs...
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post #39 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:30pm
Im gonna nerdier it even more on the earlier topic:



Also, does the boy even have to exist in the real world? We see AI kids in the sequels, right?
Also on the Matrix subject, why they couldnt use vellphones for jacking out?
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post #40 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Smith states how people rejected it. Maybe you remember the line "Entire crops were lost"?

Can we get a "no Star Wars talk" ruling in this thread? You know that shit is going to pop up, might as well preempt it.
And Star Trek? There are already two humongous threds for both I think. And LisaNY I would love to here mor nerd stuff on other movies, I just couldn't think of one off the top of my head.
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post #41 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:32pm
...and I have got a Star Wars question...

...when Anakin found he couldn't marry Padme and be a Jedi - why did he not just stop being a Jedi? He'd still have all the cool powers and be able to bone Natalie Portman plus he wouldn't get sent to war.

"Kicked out of the Jedi Order you are."
"Yeah, no worries. Come on Padme, lets go stink-up the apartment."
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post #42 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:34pm
That's a good point. Cows, huh. That's actually a relief. this thread has rejuevenated that little space in the back of mind that worries that maybe the Matrix is real. But if is all just cows........
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post #43 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
...and I have got a Star Wars question...

...when Anakin found he couldn't marry Padme and be a Jedi - why did he not just stop being a Jedi? He'd still have all the cool powers and be able to bone Natalie Portman plus he wouldn't get sent to war.

"Kicked out of the Jedi Order you are."
"Yeah, no worries. Come on Padme, lets go stink-up the apartment."
Also, why did the all wise Jedi council appoint some teenage padawan to protect annd travel along with a hot princess to a paradise planet?
Its like giving the keys to the bar to your daughter's BF, and telling him the condoms are in your drawer as you and the missus go out for a movie.
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post #44 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:35pm
In the much ballyhooed opening credit sequence of Watchmen, there is a snapshot of a grinning Comedian posing for a picture while he holds a bag of money in one hand and the collar of a recently-caught gangster-type guy in the other. The Gangster is still holding a tommy gun and firing it into the air as the photographer takes the picture. Isn't a better idea to disarm the criminal first before posing for a picture? Someone could get SHOT, for Chrissakes.
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post #45 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
Can we get a "no Star Wars talk" ruling in this thread? You know that shit is going to pop up, might as well preempt it.
But you're cutting off a vital nerd organ by banning Star Wars talk. That's like choppin' off a limb, boy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teitr Styrr View Post
And Star Trek?
(*Hops up and down*) Secret crush on Leonard Nimoy! Secret crush on Leonard Nimoy! Girl-nerd alert!
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post #46 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Also, why did the all wise Jedi council appoint some teenage padawan to protect annd travel along with a hot princess to a paradise planet?
Its like giving the keys to the bar to your daughter's BF, and telling him the condoms are in your drawer as you and the missus go out for a movie.
Did you watch the movie? The only person that would be deluded enough to think that loser would have a chance with Padme is George Lucas. There was no way the Jedi Council could know they were trapped in his crazy fantasy world.
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post #47 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:40pm
How much space does a cow take up compared to a human and how much electricity is produced per cow/human space-taken-up ratio thingy.

I think someone will have looked into this and the amount of energy you get from a single human compared to a single cow would probably mean humans are a more efficient use of space. Or something.

Perhaps someone can suggest the optimum creature in relation to size/megawatt output.
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post #48 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex B View Post
Did you watch the movie? The only person that would be deluded enough to think that loser would have a chance with Padme is George Lucas. There was no way the Jedi Council could know they were trapped in his crazy fantasy world.
Good point.
Also, anyone knows if in any of the post ROTJ books, comics, did Lei and Luke ever talk about that "good luck" kiss moment back in the first death star?
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post #49 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
How much space does a cow take up compared to a human and how much electricity is produced per cow/human space-taken-up ratio thingy.

I think someone will have looked into this and the amount of energy you get from a single human compared to a single cow would probably mean humans are a more efficient use of space. Or something.

Perhaps someone can suggest the optimum creature in relation to size/megawatt output.
I propose a cow/ human hybrid.
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post #50 of 369
1/26/10 at 12:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
I propose a cow/ human hybrid.
Cool.
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