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Time to ban ... THE DICTIONARY?!?

post #1 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:16pm
Thread Starter 
"Dictionaries have been removed from classrooms in southern California schools after a parent complained about a child reading the definition for "oral sex".

Why don't we just ban the alphabet while we're at it, since you can use it to spell "oral sex"?

Too many skulls, not enough baseball bats.
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post #2 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:31pm
Forget it, Richard, it's the Inland Empire.
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post #3 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:36pm
At what point do school boards or politicians just look at a parent and say "What are you, stupid?" Eventually we're going to hear about something so outlandish it was laughed way? There has to be a tipping point, right? Right? Please?
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post #4 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:37pm
You never fail to amaze me. Such a divided culture.
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post #5 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:41pm
Looking up dirty words in the dictionary and giggling about it with friends was an important part of elementary school for me growing up. If, for no other reason, it conned me into using a dictionary on a regular basis.
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post #6 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:43pm
They do make dictionaries for children, you know, if this is a serious concern on the part of these parents.
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post #7 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:45pm
That's just to dumb for words.
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post #8 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post
At what point do school boards or politicians just look at a parent and say "What are you, stupid?" Eventually we're going to hear about something so outlandish it was laughed way?
It's just a shame they didn't do that this time.
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post #9 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:47pm
Looking at it from the inside, I wouldn't even call it a single culture. The settlers from just Europe constituted multiple waves, multiple languages, multiple faiths, each with its own specific American Dream.

Southern California's particularly Balkanized. Haight-Ashbury and Free Love, Nixon and Reagan. Take the wrong exit off the highway and you're on a different planet.
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post #10 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:50pm
Thread Starter 
I really wish somebody -- and somebody reputable, not some lunatic fringe group -- would try to get the Bible taken out of libraries due to the violence and sex in it. And then never stop hammering away at the hypocrisy when they get shot down.

Seriously, there needs to be a liberal version of the Tea Partiers who scorch the earth just as much, only in favor of reason and logic. Call them Mad Hatters or something, and just keep piling on and countering every idiotic, panicky piece of rhetoric the loonies put out. Sitting back and hoping they implode from their own stupidity isn't working.
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post #11 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Savage View Post
That's just to dumb for words.
Yes. Yes it is.
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post #12 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:53pm
Can calculators be far behind? Because if you type in 55378008, and turn it upside down.......
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post #13 of 76
1/26/10 at 12:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Yes. Yes it is.
Teehee.

And this is goddamned ridiculous. But that much is obvious. And it's nothing new. These parents are more detrimental to their kids' health than any fucking book.
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post #14 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
Can calculators be far behind? Because if you type in 55378008, and turn it upside down.......
I don't get it.

Unless....

*turns calculator upside down"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
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post #15 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post
At what point do school boards or politicians just look at a parent and say "What are you, stupid?" Eventually we're going to hear about something so outlandish it was laughed way? There has to be a tipping point, right? Right? Please?
Yeah, sometimes "Shut the fuck up, imbecile" seems like the only thing I can possibly come up with to respond to some of this stuff. But the tipping point you speak of will never come. Let's not start ranting though.
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post #16 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
Can calculators be far behind? Because if you type in 55378008, and turn it upside down.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
I don't get it.

Unless....

*turns calculator upside down"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
But there's a whole long joke that goes along with that calculator trick, which I learned when I was in high school. Which means, yes, they SHOULD take calculators out of the schools, too, because clearly they ruined me.
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post #17 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:16pm
Thread Starter 
Math leads to science, and science leads to evolution.
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post #18 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:23pm
Evolution leads to excommunication.

I love it when California does something more retarded than my state.
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post #19 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
But there's a whole long joke that goes along with that calculator trick, which I learned when I was in high school. Which means, yes, they SHOULD take calculators out of the schools, too, because clearly they ruined me.
I almost literally pissed myself with laughter when this little bit arrived on Extras.
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post #20 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
But there's a whole long joke that goes along with that calculator trick, which I learned when I was in high school. Which means, yes, they SHOULD take calculators out of the schools, too, because clearly they ruined me.
Quote:
A woman's boobs weighed 69 pounds,
which she thought was 2, 2, 2 much.
So she went down 51st street
to see DR. X
he gave her 8 pills.....which left her....
Ah, Internet, I love you! .... No, I didn't mean it, SoCal!
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post #21 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:30pm
Nice, I couldn't remember the set up for the joke, just the punchline. Looking up dirty words in the dictionary is a time honored right of passage.

This moral majority nanny society stuff is just rediculous.
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post #22 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Math leads to science, and science leads to evolution.
Which leads to standing up which leads to walking which leads to dancing which leads to sex!

Fuckin' slippery slope.
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post #23 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:33pm
I'm surprised The Onion stays in business these days. Can you even satirise things like this?
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post #24 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:48pm
These people all need to be beaten severely about the face and neck with an Oxford/English Dictionary that has the definition of oral sex in it.
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post #25 of 76
1/26/10 at 1:50pm
Thread Starter 
It's the closest some of them would get to oral sex.
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post #26 of 76
1/26/10 at 2:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunwukong View Post
A woman's boobs weighed 69 pounds,
which she thought was 2, 2, 2 much.
So she went down 51st street
to see DR. X
he gave her 8 pills.....which left her....
See, now, I'm a nerd because I didn't know there were two versions (I'm horrible at math, I admit. Which, believe me, remembering the joke was my greatest achievement in math class).

The version I learned was close to yours:

There was a woman with a 69 inch bust.
She's 2, 2, 2 big.
She goes to the doctor, who gives her 51 pills
and tells her to take them 8x (times eight) a day.
Where does that leave her?

(Flip over the calculator)
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post #27 of 76
1/26/10 at 2:33pm
Growing up southern: when I was told that calculator joke in my formative years, it was about Dolly Parton.
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post #28 of 76
1/26/10 at 3:27pm
We did the same thing with dictionaries when I was in 4th grade. I do not see the problem. Looks like these parents would support a school with only one book... the bible. You know, the book full of rape murder and child abuse: P

PS I currently own a banned dictionary/spell checker. It's on my iPod. Apple recalled it and banned it from the app store for having naughty words

PPS: I used to be able to spell things on a calculator besides 58008, but I don't remember what they were now..
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post #29 of 76
1/26/10 at 3:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
Can calculators be far behind? Because if you type in 55378008, and turn it upside down.......
Watch it buddy, this thread isn't labeled NSFW.
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post #30 of 76
1/26/10 at 4:14pm
Thread Starter 
If it's boobless, I'd say it's perfectly safe for work.
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post #31 of 76
1/26/10 at 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Moonrocket View Post
These people all need to be beaten severely about the face and neck with an Oxford/English Dictionary that has the definition of oral sex in it.
The OED is 22 volumes. I'll take A - Bath; you grab Idea - June.
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post #32 of 76
1/26/10 at 4:38pm
I'm pretty sure we could recruit 20 more Chewers to help with the face & neck bashing. I know I'd volunteer.
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post #33 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:02pm
But does the school still have encyclopedias? Serious question. How do they get upset about the dictionary but not run to the volumes of encyclopedias next to it.
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post #34 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Phibes View Post
Looking up dirty words in the dictionary and giggling about it with friends was an important part of elementary school for me growing up. If, for no other reason, it conned me into using a dictionary on a regular basis.
Think about it. It would be healthier to unlock those dirty words (and synonyms) after you look for certain number of decent words.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I really wish somebody -- and somebody reputable, not some lunatic fringe group -- would try to get the Bible taken out of libraries due to the violence and sex in it. And then never stop hammering away at the hypocrisy when they get shot down.
Saramago could be useful...

How useful is this banning considering there's the internet over there? If you type any stupid term on urbandictionary you can come up with the most bizarre descriptions without a warning.
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post #35 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
I'm pretty sure we could recruit 20 more Chewers to help with the face & neck bashing. I know I'd volunteer.
Put me down on the list, and please send me your newsletter. I even know of a woodshed nearby where we can take 'em, just like when they were kids.

I swear, every time I think we're going to rise above the idiocy, some special interest group has to fuck it up for all of us.
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post #36 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
I'm pretty sure we could recruit 20 more Chewers to help with the face & neck bashing. I know I'd volunteer.
Roadtrip? I'm in.
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post #37 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:13pm
:: loads up bookcart, pins hair in a bun ::

They'll never see me coming.
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post #38 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:32pm
I say ban the calculator keep THE DICTIONARY.

These young whippersnappers got it to easy, why in my day we not only had no calculators, but we had to walk up hill six miles in the snow both ways.

They had calculators, we just were not aloud to use them in school.
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post #39 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:35pm
Yeah but mind you, in your time they weren't teaching Irony either.
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post #40 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:40pm
I'm up for a vacation. How's about we all meet up in San Fran for some good food before we head out? That way we'll have great stores of energy and we can be sure to bring "the gay" with us.
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post #41 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:47pm
As long as I still retain the rights to use Idea through June that's a good section.
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post #42 of 76
1/26/10 at 5:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
I'm up for a vacation. How's about we all meet up in San Fran for some good food before we head out? That way we'll have great stores of energy and we can be sure to bring "the gay" with us.
At least you'll be fabulously well dressed as you spread the epidemic.
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post #43 of 76
1/26/10 at 6:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Yeah but mind you, in your time they weren't teaching Irony either.
hay, is it my fault that I find most things ironic?
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post #44 of 76
1/27/10 at 12:45am
Well this whole thing is just another case of completely idiotic people, having children, and then get angry at the world because they then have to raise them and be their main go to for information, but then being to stupid or lazy to fucking explain things to their children instead of just calmly talking to them about things.
If you told these people that you let their child play Grand Theft Auto, they'd have a fucking stroke, and I would be happy about that.

And about the idea of the Mad Hatters group, if someone actually starts it up, I'm in and I can probably find at least 50 more friends to start in Vancouver.
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post #45 of 76
1/27/10 at 1:35am
Yeah where's Werewolf Girl when you need her for a good old "some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids" rant.

Cause this womans a prime candidate for sterilisation.
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post #46 of 76
1/27/10 at 2:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
I'm pretty sure we could recruit 20 more Chewers to help with the face & neck bashing. I know I'd volunteer.
Hey buddy; I've got to take a vacation later this year and need a bit of inspiration where to go. More than happy to fly on over for a get together on this one!
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post #47 of 76
1/27/10 at 2:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post
Yeah where's Werewolf Girl when you need her for a good old "some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids" rant.

Cause this womans a prime candidate for sterilisation.
Well she's currently sitting next to me occupied with playing Oblivion, But I'll be sure to set her loose with it like a rabid dog.
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post #48 of 76
1/27/10 at 2:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigeroovy View Post
Well she's currently sitting next to me occupied with playing Oblivion, But I'll be sure to set her loose with it like a rabid dog.
Let slip the Werewolf Girls of War!!!!
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post #49 of 76
1/27/10 at 5:29am
I've 'bated to the dictionary.
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post #50 of 76
1/27/10 at 3:12pm
Dictionary back in school:

Quote:
"The dictionary will go back to the classroom but the parents will be given the option to determine if they want their kids to have access to that dictionary," district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus told the Los Angeles Times.

The Times reported that no one showed up to object at Tuesday's meeting.
Parental responsibility and common sense? How refreshing!
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