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Pattison hates vaginas

post #1 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:19pm
Thread Starter 
he's also allergic to them...

Robert Pattinson appears in the 10th Anniversary Issue of Details and apparently he wasn't a big fan of the photo shoot they put him through. What follows next is exactly what you want your most high-profile romantic male lead of the moment to never say out loud:

"I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vaginas. But I can't say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot , so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours...Thank God I was hungover."
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post #2 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:37pm
He's probably joking, and goddamn I love him for it.

EDIT: This comes from the old british joke about the guy who goes to the doctor and says he's allergic to vaginas because whenever he's near one, "I swell up"
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post #3 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:46pm
Thread Starter 
I think its the "Thank god i was hungover" that really sells this.
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post #4 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:48pm
It's gotta be reverse psychology. You know, so that women will be all like "I'll show him!" and rub their vaginas in his face.
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post #5 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
It's gotta be reverse psychology. You know, so that women will be all like "I'll show him!" and rub their vaginas in his face.
No. I'm pretty sure it's a joke.

Man goes to his doctor

"Doctor, I think I'm allergic to Vaginas"

Doctors asks him why he thinks that

"Because whenever I'm near one, I swell up"
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post #6 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:52pm
I met the guy around the time Goblet of Fire came out. not only was he very drunk (or) High he hit on every girl that came near him.
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post #7 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:55pm
I've seen an interview or two with him and he's always been hilarious. Man's got an insanely dry sense of humour.
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post #8 of 47
2/16/10 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Savage View Post
I met the guy around the time Goblet of Fire came out. not only was he very drunk (or) High he hit on every girl that came near him.
I hope you're not implying that's odd.
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post #9 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:02pm
Hell no, more that I think he was joking.
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post #10 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:08pm
In other news, suicides among teen girls have spiked in the last 72 hours.
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post #11 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:15pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post
In other news, suicides among teen girls have spiked in the last 72 hours.
Dont worry girls, the vagina might be a no go, but there's hope!:





Thanks, Renn Brown, for the gift that keeps on giving
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post #12 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:18pm
What a weird thing to say. He's not exactly building his female fan base with comments like that. I have not seen TWILIGHT, and I don't want to judge him based entirely on his involvement in those films... but yeah. What he said was pretty awful.
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post #13 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
What a weird thing to say. He's not exactly building his female fan base with comments like that. I have not seen TWILIGHT, and I don't want to judge him based entirely on his involvement in those films... but year. What he said was pretty awful.
Pattison is clearly uncomfortable with his fame and his obsessed and rabid fanbase...he's poking fun at it in order to keep his sanity. I say good for him.
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post #14 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
No. I'm pretty sure it's a joke.

Man goes to his doctor

"Doctor, I think I'm allergic to Vaginas"

Doctors asks him why he thinks that

"Because whenever I'm near one, I swell up"
Spike, tell more jokes no sarcasm
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post #15 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:25pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post
Pattison is clearly uncomfortable with his fame and his obsessed and rabid fanbase...he's poking fun at it in order to keep his sanity. I say good for him.
Yup (repost from an old thread):

At least Pattison isnt abusing his power, you know:

In case anyone had doubts that Robert Pattinson could make his fans do anything, here's an anecdote he shared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that demonstrates how easily he could violate a throng of a women at the drop of a hat. Via The Awful Truth:

"I was doing a preinterview for this [show], and I immediately regretted saying that," the awkwardly adorable R.Pattz says. "I sound like I'm actually just abusing my position.
"It was after a period of signing 500 signatures, and one of [the fans] just came up. You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything, and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?' And [the fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like, 'Um, just take your clothes off.' And she stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible."
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post #16 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post
Pattison is clearly uncomfortable with his fame and his obsessed and rabid fanbase...he's poking fun at it in order to keep his sanity. I say good for him.
Eh, I guess so. I just don't like hearing stuff like that. Not my kind of humor
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post #17 of 47
2/16/10 at 6:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Eh, I guess so. I just don't like hearing stuff like that. Not my kind of humor
I think that's the point, sweetheart.
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post #18 of 47
2/16/10 at 7:56pm
Oh, I get it - he's making a lame joke to clumsily vocalize his deep-seated anxiety about female anatomy so the other bros think he's cool!

...someone should tell him that the other bros are never, ever going to think he's cool.
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post #19 of 47
2/16/10 at 8:32pm
What does the remasculinization of the American male have anything to do with Robert Pattini---

HE HATES VAGINAAAAAS!!!
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post #20 of 47
2/16/10 at 8:35pm
Ladies, forget this dickhead. I love vaginas.
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post #21 of 47
2/16/10 at 8:50pm
I'm pretty sure Pattison loves the vagina, and maybe the joke was in poor taste, but I so do not hate this dude anymore.
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post #22 of 47
2/16/10 at 11:08pm
Good for you, I hate him even more.
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post #23 of 47
2/17/10 at 12:55am
John Mayer has just breathed a sigh of relief.
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post #24 of 47
2/17/10 at 1:17am
Let me get this straight: There are people who actually think Pattinson really dislikes vaginas? They don't grasp that he's possibly being sarcastic or ironic or self-deprecating? Or even just cracking a ill-advised joke?

Has the internet warped comprehension skills that much?

Is it the wittiest thing he could have said? Of course not. Is it offensive? Of course not. It's not even that lame, really.
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post #25 of 47
2/17/10 at 1:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy five-tone View Post
Let me get this straight: There are people who actually think Pattinson really dislikes vaginas? They don't grasp that he's possibly being sarcastic or ironic or self-deprecating? Or even just cracking a ill-advised joke?
Well there's only two chewers in here who complained, and they aint swingin' dicks.
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post #26 of 47
2/17/10 at 2:04am
Sorry, Ambler, I should clarify. What I meant was, are there non-Chewers - people on other boards or in other chatrooms - who really think RPattz is genuine in his hoo-hoo hatred?

I'm assuming people around these parts get that he's making a joke (we're smart!), even if the gag isn't to their taste. But I'd be stunned but not surprised to find that some people had taken it at face value.
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post #27 of 47
2/17/10 at 2:07am
Check the talkbacks on some of the news sites...people aren't getting the gag. They really think he's renounced his hetero-ness and has come out.
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post #28 of 47
2/17/10 at 4:43am
He's obviously uncomfortable with his fan base. But stuff like that aren't going to help him. The Twihards are too earnest and delusional to get that it's a joke. Everyone else will never think he's cool, because he's in fucking Twilight. He could wrestle a grizzly bear while doing the FHM Hot 100 twice and he still wouldn't be cool.
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post #29 of 47
2/17/10 at 5:24am
Well Pattison obviously doesn't care what people think. He knows he got lucky with Twilight and is treating it like it could end at any moment...he's more interested in music anyway. It's a healthy attitude to have.
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post #30 of 47
2/17/10 at 5:29am
Who doesn't? I know I do.
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post #31 of 47
2/17/10 at 6:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
He could wrestle a grizzly bear while doing the FHM Hot 100 twice and he still wouldn't be cool.
yeeaaaa I dunno. Thats pretty fuckin cool
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post #32 of 47
2/17/10 at 8:33am
But he starred in Twilight. See? All the cool is gone.
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post #33 of 47
2/17/10 at 11:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
But he starred in Twilight. See? All the cool is gone.
Awww. *kicks can*

...YOU'RE THE WORST MAGICIAN EVER!
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post #34 of 47
2/17/10 at 11:11am
I always aim to displease, Jake.
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post #35 of 47
2/17/10 at 11:16am
Maybe if he wrestled a space-bear while doing a green chick like Kirk.
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post #36 of 47
2/17/10 at 11:18am
I think if he called Princess Wiki retarded for not liking his joke he'd be cool.
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post #37 of 47
2/17/10 at 1:50pm
Thread Starter 




Yep, those are body size/shape pillows.

You know, im starting to doubt the joke nature of Pattisons statement now.
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post #38 of 47
2/17/10 at 2:20pm
That....that's terrifying.

ETA: The body pillows, not the vagina. I'm all for vagina. If vagina were one of those foam "#1 fan!" things you get at ballparks, I'd put my hand in it.

....Wait.
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post #39 of 47
2/17/10 at 4:10pm
His comments on Twilight are hilarious, and actually made me feel pretty sorry for him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pattinson
"When I read it I was convinced Stephenie was convinced she was Bella and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing."

"When you read the book, it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he’s a 108 year-old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there."

"I've spent a long time thinking, 'How can I take the whole [Edward is] beautiful thing as an interpretation?' And I realized that it's just Bella saying he's so beautiful and she's just in love with him and obsessed with him so he could be like a piece of cheese and she would think the same thing."
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post #40 of 47
2/17/10 at 4:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg Clark View Post
That....that's terrifying.

ETA: The body pillows, not the vagina. I'm all for vagina. If vagina were one of those foam "#1 fan!" things you get at ballparks, I'd put my hand in it.

....Wait.
This post is really funny if you read it like Geoff from Coupling.
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post #41 of 47
2/17/10 at 4:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Wait a minute........Look at that belly, is she pregnant with Pattison Pillow's sparkly baby?
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post #42 of 47
2/17/10 at 6:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by James View Post
His comments on Twilight are hilarious, and actually made me feel pretty sorry for him.
See, that's why I don't get the hate for him specifically. I totally get the hate for Twilight. I totally get the hate for the werewolf six pack douchebag kid. But Pattison is pretty down to earth and self-deprecating.
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post #43 of 47
2/17/10 at 11:14pm
My roommate got cast in an upcoming movie with one of the werewolves...Pattison has been around when we've hung out and I can tell you the guy is not interested in Hollywood.
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post #44 of 47
3/2/10 at 5:52pm
According to Huffpo, he was not kidding!
Quote:
""I do have an actual allergy," he said as his mom looked on from the audience. "It's terrible. It's a curse." "
There is apparently uncertainty about whether or not that was a joke, HUFFPO says it "seems" like one, but again, it's a very peculiar brand of humor, and at this point that's what he's becoming known for in my mind (since I have not seen TWILIGHT)
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post #45 of 47
3/2/10 at 5:54pm
"It's terrible. It's a curse"

Yeah, that's totally not a joke.
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post #46 of 47
3/2/10 at 10:35pm
Quote:
Robert laughed then said, "I learned two things from that interview. Never try to make a joke during a print interview and never do interviews, ever."
He just admitted it was joke right there.
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post #47 of 47
3/3/10 at 1:21am
He's on The Daily Show right now.
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