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My problem with non-zombie "zombies"

post #1 of 10
2/22/10 at 6:27am
Thread Starter 
I was thinking about this during Zombieland, and it bugged me during 28 Days Later as well.

I don't so much have an issue with "zombies" being fast, or that they have an explanation for why they are the way they are; what DOES bother me is that I don't care WHAT kind of virus you have, it's fucking impossible for a human body to ooze/drool/vomit a shit-ton of blood around and not dehydrate in short order. Much less over a span of several weeks, possibly months.

Now, both films are HIGHLY enjoyable, but this always niggles at the base of my skull and takes me out of the movies. Any defenses?
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post #2 of 10
2/22/10 at 7:03am
No defense here, I've never liked any attempt to science up Zombies or any other supernatural creature. I like the idea that they are mystical in origin, you don't need an explanation you just need them to scare you.
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post #3 of 10
2/22/10 at 7:41am
The virus could be putting the zombie's adrenal system into overdrive, which explains the strength, speed, hostility, and ability to survive and act in bad conditions. They could also be recouping the loss of fluids through eating people and the virus could facilitate processing those materials through the digestive tract.

In real life, there are documented cases of a soldier being maimed by artillery to the point that he should be doing nothing but laying in the field of battle and screaming his lungs out; however, somehow, he finds his way back to his position and only then does the pain response and immobility kick in.
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post #4 of 10
2/22/10 at 12:32pm
For the movies you talk about, you're right, in the case of a still-living "zombie" or any scientific explanation like a virus.

I guess with a supernatural explanation like one in Brian Keene's The Rising, where it's demons possessing corpses, anything goes.
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post #5 of 10
2/22/10 at 7:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain View Post

In real life, there are documented cases of a soldier being maimed by artillery to the point that he should be doing nothing but laying in the field of battle and screaming his lungs out; however, somehow, he finds his way back to his position and only then does the pain response and immobility kick in.
Yeah, just like the Scandinavian berserkers. But those incidents take place over a period of hours, not days or weeks.
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post #6 of 10
2/22/10 at 7:15pm
this totally belongs in the 'nerd stench' thread.

plus, why would anybody want to hate on gooey zombies?
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post #7 of 10
2/23/10 at 6:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulain View Post
In real life, there are documented cases of a soldier being maimed by artillery to the point that he should be doing nothing but laying in the field of battle and screaming his lungs out; however, somehow, he finds his way back to his position and only then does the pain response and immobility kick in.
Ernest Hemingway (the famous author) had both his knees blown off, most of his foot destroyed, and over 200 pieces of shrapnel littered throughout his body from artillery fire. He got up and carried another man on his back to the nearest ambulance.

Seriously.
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post #8 of 10
2/23/10 at 10:27pm
And yet strangely, ol' Ernie isn't generally given much credit for being such a bad motherfucker.

History just isn't fair.
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post #9 of 10
2/24/10 at 1:57am
Oh Hemingway, for that and so much more (sans love of bullfighting), I love thee. I will never be half the man you were.
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post #10 of 10
2/24/10 at 8:29pm
/paranoid

I don't like the fast zombies because it decreases my probability of survival.

And Doc, I think you're already more than half the man he was, if he's had his knees blown off and you've got your original legs.

/rimshot
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