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Mom Gets Blitzed, Decides There Can Be Only One.

post #1 of 30
2/27/10 at 1:09pm
Thread Starter 
Drunk mom allegedly runs through school with sword

Police said the mother of an elementary school student drank a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor before brandishing a sword in her child's school. The woman, 32, apparently intended to confront the parents of another child who had been in a spitting match with her child the previous day.

According to court records, an employee at Riverview Elementary School in Memphis reported a drunk woman armed with a sword was running through the halls of the school and had threatened to cut her.

Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black cane that concealed the blade.

The woman charged with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school property.


Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...#ixzz0mJVAuR2P
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post #2 of 30
3/1/10 at 4:48pm
Ah that brings back the elementary school memories... many a ninja-mom assaulted mine, too.
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post #3 of 30
3/1/10 at 4:50pm
Where the hell do these people keep getting swords from?
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post #4 of 30
3/1/10 at 4:55pm
pawn shops.
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post #5 of 30
3/1/10 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
pawn shops.
America is terrifying.
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post #6 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:03pm
Because people are allowed to own swords? Really?
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post #7 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
Because people are allowed to own swords? Really?
What part of that sentence ISN'T terrifying?
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post #8 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:10pm
All of it? Should we need a certificate from Le Cordon Bleu to have butcher knives, too?
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post #9 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:11pm
Many of my friends own swords. They're cool. They're not really any more dangerous then big sharp knives are and you can't conceal them easily.

It's not like it's a common thing for people to walk down the street, hacking others to death with the swords on their backs. There are many reasons that America is crazy, but owning swords isn't one of them.
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post #10 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:15pm
Hell, go into any knife store at any mall and you can buy a sword. The Cutlery used to have an entire wall of samurai and movie replica swords that you could buy as long as you were over 18. They weren't sharp, but you could certainly remedy that oversight with a whetstone.
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post #11 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:20pm
To be fair, I don't think people are legally allowed to run around brandishing swords. Pocket knives typically have size requirements before they're in the 'concealed weapon' catagory.
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post #12 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:21pm
Swords aren't easily concealed, so they're never going to make it to the top of the list of preferable weapons one would bring to a Momma vs. Momma throwdown.
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post #13 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Troy Nixey View Post
Says therewillbezodiac the Cimmerian.
The best in life is to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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post #14 of 30
3/1/10 at 5:42pm
Speaking of moms and swords, anyone have any info on when My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? will be released on dvd?
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post #15 of 30
3/1/10 at 6:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uth Vaspetad View Post
Swords aren't easily concealed, so they're never going to make it to the top of the list of preferable weapons one would bring to a Momma vs. Momma throwdown.
The article says this sword was concealed in a black cane. You are not as safe as you think.
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post #16 of 30
3/1/10 at 6:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
The article says this sword was concealed in a black cane. You are not as safe as you think.
That's what I told the police when I assaulted that blind guy.
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post #17 of 30
3/1/10 at 6:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by therewillbezodiac View Post
It's not like it's a common thing for people to walk down the street, hacking others to death with the swords on their backs.
Speak for yourself, sir. Here in rural Georgia, a brother had best be carrying cold steel if he expects to survive the day...
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post #18 of 30
3/1/10 at 6:58pm
I can't be the only person who read that she had a sword inside a cane and immediately thought of her running around the school with a bowler hat on and her droogs waiting for her in the car.
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post #19 of 30
3/1/10 at 7:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
The article says this sword was concealed in a black cane. You are not as safe as you think.
My bad, Schwartz. You may now mark my face at your leisure with your signature "S" for not catching this detail before posting.
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post #20 of 30
3/2/10 at 11:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
Speaking of moms and swords, anyone have any info on when My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? will be released on dvd?
lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
That's what I told the police when I assaulted that blind guy.
+1 rep
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post #21 of 30
3/2/10 at 1:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
Because people are allowed to own swords? Really?
No, because people are allowed to own swords AND are willing to brandish them because their precious snowflake got into a scrap at school.
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post #22 of 30
3/2/10 at 1:40pm
Except Spike's answer was specifically a response to the fact that you can buy a sword from a pawn shop, but don't let proper context get in the way.
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post #23 of 30
3/2/10 at 1:43pm
I was just going to say the same thing. The only way you can buy them over here is if they have been blunted and the point cut off beforehand. Just being able to go into a shop and buy a cheap weapon without any kind of checks is pretty damn scary.
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post #24 of 30
3/2/10 at 1:55pm
There are plenty of things just as potentially dangerous as a sword that are a part of everyday life. Again, knives are much more of a danger because of their relative ease of concealment. Banning swords would be, no pun intended, pointless.
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post #25 of 30
3/2/10 at 1:59pm
That lady could learn a thing or two from Tripp Fisk.
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post #26 of 30
3/2/10 at 2:11pm
I have two decorative sets of armor in my house, and they both feature swords. I bought a samurai sword as a birthday gift for a friend who loves samurai films. Clearly, I am a monster.

I could beat a man to death with a baseball bat or a tire iron as well, but let's not let that get in the way of a good ol' crazy weapon-lovin' 'Murricans thread.
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post #27 of 30
3/2/10 at 2:38pm
As I stated in my post you can buy swords over here as well pretty much anywhere but they have to be blunted. No one is saying buying swords is wrong but it does make sense that if they are a decoration they are not sharp enough to kill someone.
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post #28 of 30
3/2/10 at 2:39pm
Thread Starter 
I love that the true culprit is being totally ignored here: "40 ounce bottle of malt liquor", a.k.a., Super Retardo Serum.
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post #29 of 30
3/2/10 at 2:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
I love that the true culprit is being totally ignored here: "40 ounce bottle of malt liquor", a.k.a., Super Retardo Serum.
That an an insane mother.
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post #30 of 30
3/3/10 at 11:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
I have two decorative sets of armor in my house, and they both feature swords. I bought a samurai sword as a birthday gift for a friend who loves samurai films. Clearly, I am a monster.

I could beat a man to death with a baseball bat or a tire iron as well, but let's not let that get in the way of a good ol' crazy weapon-lovin' 'Murricans thread.
Really! They make it sound like there's a McHanzo's on every corner.

See, they take away your guns, and then your swords, and man will still find a way to cause mayhem.

Swords don't hack people, people do.

"Freedooooommm!"
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