ALICE IN WONDERLAND Post Release

Great review. I find that last sentence fascinating, and I wonder if Burton himself picked up on the irony.

Very nicely written, Devin.

Sadly, it turned out just as I expected. And the Hot Topic line is Devin's most fitting reaction to a movie since 'Fuck you, out of ten'.

Ouch. I think I'm gonna wait to watch this until I can do so for free when I'm drunk at my home. Seems like the only way to get something out of this.

And yeah, that hot topic line was pretty great. The downfall of Burton's career is pretty sad - he seems to have peaked pretty damn early.

I will be happy to go the entire rest of my life without seeing this wretched looking mess. This looks like a perfect example of why some film makers REALLY need someone to pull them back when they stare too long into the abyss.

This is why I really wish Burton would go back to a Pee Wee's Big Adventure type movie. He needs to stop being Mr. Hot Topic, and soon.

Great review Devin.

One thing, though. The Red Queen actually is a character from Through the Looking Glass, and I remember reading somewhere that the writer had decided to fuse the two characters, the other being The Queen of Hearts, into one.

What.

The inclusion of overblown LOTR-style fantasy tropes is just bizarre. There's nothing Burtonesque about big armies with swords and stuff. Was this Disney in search of a franchise or something?

Tim Burton has turned into Jay Leno and hasn't done a film that's actually fun to watch since Mars Attacks (Except for Paul Giamatti's role in POTA, the only saving grace for that film).

What does this even mean?

He kicked Conan O'Brien in the balls.

Seriously. Carroll's Alice (with it's lack of any real plot) should be perfect for Burton's "I have trouble with story" tendencies. The original is Alice on a weird trip meeting strange characters after strange characters.

Why add useless shit and try and make it make sense? It's supposed to be mad, not maddening.

Is this to say that this is yet another instance of Burton using Depp to exorcise his childhood/social demons?

It may not be a joke, but I laughed just the same. Jesus Christ, that's horrible.

I offered to take my brother out for dinner and movie for his birthday, and being an effects slobberer he chose this and won't be swayed. I'll try to just appreciate it on that level, which you said was pretty damn good at least... Ugh.

I don't feel so bad about ignoring my wife for three days during the upcoming NFL Draft, since she's dragging me to this.

I know the review implicitly states that this is not the worst shit ever, but it sounds like the worst shit ever. Johnny Depp's stupid Mad Hatter face alone makes me want to cockpunch Jesus.

Please step away from the Goth, Mr. Burton.

Has anyone seen the fake trailer for "Tim Burton's 'Weekend At Bernie's'"? It's frighteningly accurate. With Johnny Depp as Bernie!

Bring the kids!

I've written and deleted three different comments trying to adequately convey how stupid that is. There are literally no words.

I don't think his career has had a downfall. He's in no danger of unemployment, and he generally gets to make the movies he wants to make. He's just terribly uninspired.

It's just so dead-on that Burton would take children's literature's archetypal Free Spirit and have his defining random whimsy be entirely the result of emotional pain. It's practically self-parody.

Same here, bud.

I think you mean Tim Roth.

Jesus, American's Mc Gee "Alice" looks like a model of fidelity to Lewis Carroll compared to this.

It actually hurt me when he gave Willy Wonka daddy issues. The Gene Wilder one wasn't as faithful, but it had the right spirit of the book.

Exactly. I can forgive some departures from the plotline of a book, but missing the spirit is unforgiveable, no matter how woodenly faithful you are to the plotline.

I loved toward the ending when Wonka is in his office, hat off, jacket on his chair, and he looks ten or fifteen years older and so defeated and sad because all the kids disappointed him. And such a depressing and plain office. All the daddy issues and quirk that Burton's version had couldn't make Depp's Wonka as human and relatable as that scene.

Agreed. "Charlie" had it's moments, but it was badly damaged by Burton forgetting that in adapting a classic work, the rule of "If it ain't broke, Don't fix it" is a wise rule to follow.

What did you think of Elfman's score, Devin? Curious where you think it stands with his other Burton work.

I wonder if Depp now looks at a script from his good friend Tim Burton, who single handedly pulled him out of Tee Vee pretty boy roles, and sigh ruefully, before saying to himself (sadly, sadly), "he's my friend. He made my career possible. I'll do it"

Sword fighting Alice is like Dorothy Gale having a torrid affair with Ozma. Do not want.

I think Depp gives Burton more credit than we do. He's never been in a huge Burton misstep, like the Apes fiasco, nor for Big Fish (which I've never seen, but seems to be split 40/60 Like/Dislike). Sweeny Todd and Chocolate Factory weren't really steps forward, but were successful enough to not be considered failures. I guess he's hoping for another Ed Wood, and maybe if/when this fails, Depp will be more reluctant to answer Tim's calls.

"Sorry bud, doing some pirate thing."

I doubt Depp cares one way or the other. Even if this flops, the next Burton flick will be a chance get paid while hanging out with his best friend.

It's not like if this thing tanks, it will hurt Depp's career. The man is in damn near half the movies that go to theatres these days.

The album is up on lala.com if you want to give it a go.

Don't you mean "lala-LAla-lala-LAla-BUMBUM-lala-LAla-lala-LAla.com"?

Danny Elfman Presents Lala.com

Depp said recently in an interview that he never watches his own work after doing it. The way he keeps working with Burton despite the declining quality of their work together, I can believe it.

Comment redacted due to deemed irrelevance.

Unless you're going to see this movie the way I did i.e. for free in IMAX 3D while tripping, don't bother. As soon as the credits rolled and that horrible song began slaughtering my ears, I turned to my friend and said, "God, he can do so much better."

Perhaps my favorite moment of the evening, aside from the bad-ass Tron trailer, was the audience trying to figure out what to make the dance Depp does at the end. Was it a joke? Nobody knew. The theatre became a chamber of disturbed silence.

Oh my, this is Burtons weakest since Pee Wees Big Adventure. A bland, empty shell of a movie. It feels like Speed Racer without the action and excitement. Depp's Mad Hatter is a bore, there's so much wrong about him. Flashback, the sword, too normal, not crazy enough. I didn't give a fuck about anyone. Even the 3D was ass, Devins review nails it.

The biggest crime this does is being forgettable and predictable. I highly doubt anyone will look back and remember this. Upon leaving the theatre, everyone seemed depressed, disappointed, not caring. WOM will kill the second weekend.

Harry's review is mind boggling.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/44175

I got to and just stopped. No Thanks, I'm good.

If anyone's going to see this movie this weekend, the least they could do is see it in 2D and save themselves a few dollars. The 3D really does absolutely nothing for it.

I think ultimately the thing that bothered me the most was that Wasikowska's Alice had plenty of heroic fire and spunk, but the movie doesn't let her use any of it because she's a) an amnesiac and b) she thinks it's a dream, so she mostly just stands around passively, while all the other characters actually do things. What a clever way to stunt your main character's motivation and regress her chances of bonding with anyone around her!

That said, it really wasn't as painful an experience as I was fearing, except for that godawful dance bit. The rest of the movie is just dull and unfunny.

Harry and Burton have one thing in common: They just don't get the Lewis Carroll classic.
I would lose respect for Harry except that I lost all respect for Harry The Hutt a long time ago. He is now seeing classic literature through a Fanboy's goggles. The mind truly does boggle.

HOLY SHIT THAT DANCE SCENE.

Congratulations, PLANET OF THE APES remake fans! That's no longer Burton's worst film!