School board cancels prom cause one'a them gays wanted to go!

They want a private citizen to fund the prom, so they can enforce the "no homo" rule, and the school won't have to.

You ruined everything, Brendan!

I do hope the schoolboard realizes that instead of stepping up to teach kids "traditional values", by shitting all over their prom they're all but insuring that the entire graduating class will hate homophobes for life


PS When I was in HS, as far as I'm aware there was no sort of official policy on prom dates at all. You could show up unattached if you wanted. Why does this school care a if a student doesn't attend with a member of the opposite sex?

One of my Facebook friends commented on this, basically saying, "While I disagree with the actions of the School Board... it was a possible option they had, and the ACLU should have taken that into consideration. If you back ultra-right wingers in a corner, they get crazy." Which to me sounds dangerously close to saying "Well, those civil rights marchers should have known fire hoses and dogs were an option."

Gee, just think of the uproar if her Prom Date was Black!

Oh boy.

She absolutely knew the rules of attending the prom. They were laid out nice and clear for every kid in that school. She wanted to break the rules, and the school held firm. Is having a dress code a violation of this girl's right to expression? I really don't think so. I would be pissed if I went to that school and found out that my prom had been canceled because of this. It's not fair to punish the entire school because of one person. I do get why they don't want to break the dress code for her, because you're opening Pandora's box and saying that other kids can break the rules and then bitch about their rights being infringed upon in order to get away with it. The dress code is there for a reason. I don't think it will kill this girl to wear a dress for one night. If it's that much of a hassle to wear a dress, don't go. That statement may get me filleted in here, but rules apply to the minority as well as the majority. She was on CNN saying that she wants equal treatment, but if the school caves, is it equal treatment or special treatment?

As for the date issue, I don't know. I just applauded the school for enforcing the rules, yet if I tell them to let the girl bring her girlfriend, I'd be telling them to break the rules. I personally don't have a problem with her being gay, but I don't know if the school giving in to her demands is a good idea or not.

So the issue was really the Dress Code? If both girls had worn dresses the Prom would have gone on? Interesting.

But it's a bullshit, oppressive rule, though that NEEDS to be changed. Would your opinion on the matter change if this EXACT SAME SITUATION played out with a race component instead of a gender one?

Sounds like they saw this coming and tried to make up a bullshit rule to prohibit this specific incident.

Oh no, I know it's not solely about the dress code. My comment was just mostly about the dress code.

Like I said, I'm really not sure what to do about the date situation, which is why I didn't talk too much about it.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

At least she's not a cocksucker like Michael Myers though, ammirite?!?!?

Yeah but the dress code is simply feeding into the rule that students must take partners of the opposite sex.

Harley, do you personally believe the school has the right to enact a rule stating that students are not allowed to bring same sex partners to the prom?

Absolutely not, but I still don't know if you should break the dress code rule. If I were in charge, I'd offer a compromise: you can bring your girlfriend, but you need to adhere to the dress code. I'm not in charge, though. It's the school's call, right or wrong.

Having said that, how is telling a guy not to wear a dress or a girl not to wear a tux a direct attack on homosexual students? What if a straight girl wanted to wear a tux? I seriously don't understand that.

erm... Is my sarcasm-detector broken? Or did you drink absinthe?

You cannot honestly believe that that is what this is about.

Now that is funny!

Statements like that are why I could never have gone into my secondary career option of journalism... I would've written it up as:

There are still racially-segregated proms in the south.

Alright, looking at the dress code rule on it's own then, why is it okay to tell students what they can and can't wear to the prom exactly?

Sexual orientation aside, why can't a girl wear a tux to the event in your view? Why should it be okay for a school to enact such a rule?

How is telling a kid he can't have an afro a direct attack on black kids? How is telling a kid he can't wear his turban a direct attack on sikhs? How is telling a girl she can't wear a burkha a direct attack on devout Muslims?

The answer is, quite simply, who is most likely going to be affected by the implementation of the rules? In most case, it's the obvious answer. While I know a few white kids with jew-fros it's a rule that would mostly affect black kids. Turbans can be a sweet fashion statement but if they aren't allowed it's most likely sikh kids who will be affected. Burkhas can be worn by anyone but it'll most likely be a Muslim kid who is affected.

Do you get it now?

I'm not happy that the girl was booted for her sexual orientation. I was speaking about the DRESS CODE when I said that I applauded them for holding fast to the rules that the entire school was well aware of. NOT TALKING ABOUT HER SEXUAL ORIENTATION.

You said: You cannot honestly believe that that is what this is about.


Did I once say that the dress code is solely what this is about? No. Seriously, I know it's a sensitive issue, but don't put words in my mouth. I said in my post that I wasn't sure what the school could do about the date situation without possibly opening the door for other people to attempt to get away with something by crying about their rights. I never said it was the dress code and nothing more. I even said in a follow-up post that I DID NOT THINK THAT IT WAS SOLELY ABOUT THE DRESS CODE, BUT SINCE I WAS NOT 100% SURE WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE DATE SITUATION, I SPOKE ABOUT THE DRESS CODE SITUATION AS A SEPARATE ISSUE, NOT AS THE LINCHPIN FOR THIS GIRL BEING BOOTED. How is this unclear?

Why is it okay to tell people what to wear in any situation, then? Is it wrong for a business to ask for dress code compliance for employees? The school is planning the event. They have the right to tell people not to wear clothes that the school deems inappropriate. Do I PERSONALLY think that they have the right to tell people not to bring a date of the same sex? NO. How this is getting spun into "Harley is an evil homophobe" is seriously beyond me.

ONE MORE TIME:

I'm fine with a dress code. I am looking at the dress code and the girl's sexuality as two issues, not one.

I PERSONALLY do not have a problem with the girl bringing a female date. Never once did I say that being gay is wrong, so those of you calling me a homophobe for not wanting to burn the school to the ground for this decision are way off base. I simply said that if they backpedaled for this one person, other people might try to take advantage in a negative way i.e. trying to get other rules bent to suit their wishes and then possibly suing to get their way, when their way may not be best. NEVER SAID THAT THIS GIRL WAS WRONG for wanting to bring her girlfriend. If I were in charge, the rules would be different. But I'm not in charge.

How does this make me homophobic, guys? Seriously?

I'm going to ask a serious question and pray that you don't bite my head off.

A turban and a burkha are clear signs of the culture of a group of people, right? I understand that 100%. What I don't understand is how a tux on a girl and a dress on a guy are clear symbols of gay culture. I'm not kidding. I'm not being sarcastic and this is NOT a homophobic remark. I feel like I have to qualify that since some people in this thread seem to think that I a homophobe. Would you put a turban and a burkha in the same category as a tux and dress? How does this work? Do we judge a symbol based upon its cultural/religious significance, or is there another system. I genuinely want to know. If I saw someone wearing a turban or burkha, I'd immediately know that it was a cultural thing. If I saw a girl in a tux or masculine clothes, I'd first think that she was a tomboy or uncomfortable in a dress. I wouldn't automatically think that she was gay because you can't tell just by clothing. There is not a uniform for being gay, and to say that there is a gay uniform could be seen as discriminatory, couldn't it?

It seems to me that if a straight girl had talked about showing up in a tux, the prom would have gone on as planned with no one saying a peep about it.

It's been a long time, but is there a basic dress code for proms in the first place?

I don't remember now, but I would imagine some kid not being let in if he/she goes in t-shirts, shorts and sandals (or a bikini).

With our dances and such, if you could wear it to school, you could wear it to the prom.

There's rules about the amount of skin girls can show with their dresses. There have been several stories on the news throughout the past few years involving girls being booted from the prom for wearing a dress that was too risque.

So Harley, serious question. What would you suggest the school do if the girl had been transgendered, or intersex? At that point, the dress code and her sexual identity are the exact same issue. For all we're aware, the ability to wear a suit rather than a dress is just as important to this girl as her sexual orientation. What place does the school have to deny her behavior suited to her orientation, provided it doesn't infringe on the rights of other students?

For that matter, why shouldn't students be allowed to dress as they please at an event like this? It's for the kids, not for the school. I can't think of any reason why a straight male shouldn't be allowed to wear a dress/skirt/pantsuit, or a straight female shouldn't be allowed to wear a suit/tux/kilt.

Okay, at the point of being transgendered, it gets trickier, but there's still no clearly defined answer. If I say "let the person wear what they want", then I am singling out one individual and giving them a luxury that the other students would not have, which brings up equality issues. If I let this one person do as they wish while I prevent the others from doing so, does this not open up litigation about equal rights? You better believe some kid would raise hell, go to the press, and now I've got a ton of protestors running around. The event takes a backseat to the controversy. Like I said in my original post, is it equal treatment or special treatment to provide such accomodations? I don't know. It's a confusing issue for me. Then again, if I say "no, you must wear something in accordance to your biology and not your orientation", then I'm denying the individual. There's no win-win scenario here. Either way, somebody's gonna be unhappy. I really don't know what I'd do in that scenario. I'm not trying to cop out. I just don't know.

As for letting them wear whatever the hell they want, I think you're opening the door for shit like this. They have a dress code to prevent people from asking millions of questions about what to wear. You know what you can and can't wear. You have clear definitions and no confusion.

Was this girl offered the opportunity to go to the prom with her girlfriend if they both wore dresses?

Because the dress code clearly had nothing to do with anything. Choosing only to discuss one of the numerous smokescreen issues the school brought up is... odd.

This is what they actually care about, not a dress code.

The girl spoke on CNN as if they were two separate issues that she wanted changed, not one. I picked the issue that I am most familiar with to discuss, having been to schools where I wore uniforms and had strict dress guildelines. I never once said that the date issue was one that they didn't care about or wasn't worthy of being cared about.

You began your first post with "Oh boy", like people were overreacting. Then you went into seriously discussing the dress code as if it had even a fraction of relevance to this story that the girl being gay did. It's a non issue. As Farsight said, it's a smokescreen. Even if the girl thinks it's important, do you really believe she would have taken it to this level if the school made her feel welcome to bring her date of choice, but asked politely that she follow the dress code?

For the record, I said Oh Boy because I knew I was going to catch hell for agreeing about the dress code and not expressing flat-out outrage over it. Never once did I say that the girl overreacted. Once again, people are putting words into my mouth.

And believe me, I've seen people around here take it to that level simply because of a dress code. A girl here in Fayetteville wanted to wear pants to graduation when the rules stated that the girls had to wear dresses. She got up in arms about it, bitched to the local media, and was banned from graduation because of it. You may not think that the dress code means anything, but as a person with experience with a school's dress code, I personally think it is an issue. It may not be as big an issue as her date, but it is an issue, in my opinion. She said as much in the interview that I saw.

I'm willing to agree to disagree with you in terms of your thoughts on the dress code's importance.

You're still missing the point. The girl is a kid, maybe the dress code seems like a big deal to her. Who gives a shit? The school wants us to think that it's about the dress code as much as it is about her date. It's their way of cloaking their bigotry by hiding behind the "them's just the rules!" argument. Like it's out of their hands. Which is what your posts read like. You're actually praising the school for sticking to their guns like somebody who doesn't realize it's simply a pretext to obscure a larger issue. If the school was only worried about the dress code, they would have made that perfectly clear.

Even the school in FOOTLOOSE wouldn't have canceled the prom over a dress code.

For the record Harley, I actually don't think you're a homophobe. At all.

I do however think you're truly missing the forest for the trees on this one tho.

If the school weren't doing this because she's an icky gay they could have simply rewritten the dress code to read "students must wear either a tuxedo or a formal dress" rather than "men in tuxes, women in dresses". Ergo, the dress code is BS and directly linked to her sexuality.

What if a boy had wanted to wear a kilt?

Pfft. Fag.

Yeah, getting banned for not complying with the dress code (as debatable as that would be) is not what happened and not what the ruckus is all about. After all, they cancelled the whole event. Which leads two only two possible assumptions in my eyes. The school either does have an authority problem if they feel urged to cancel the event because of an anticipated breach of dress code or they simply use it as a smoke screen to hide their homophobia.

I really don´t see a lot of ground for debate here other than shaking my European head in disbelief. But by all means continue to provide me with material ripe for ridicule.

What's the worse result: two girls get to go to the prom together, or a couple of hundred kids don't get a senior prom?

Even worse: a couple of hundred kids beating two lesbians two pulp because their alternative lifestyle averted the senior prom.

I hope this kid has telekinetic powers.

There is no uniform for being Muslim or Sikh either. In fact, there's quite a cross section of what sikhs and Muslims wear but the most obvious sign of being either of those are the turban (for men) and the burkha (for women at least).

The same goes with gay culture. While cross-dressing isn't the majority, it is not uncommon. That is to say if it's not a cultural norm, it's at the very least culturally acceptable.

But what it comes down to is that in this school, in this state, it is highly unlikely that a straight girl or straight boy would wish to cross dress for their prom. So, the question becomes who is this new rule likely to affect? You know the answer to that one.

The rule was put in place a little over a month ago likely specifically because they caught wind of what this young lady was going to do. Why was the rule not in place since the beginning of the year? Or since the school opened? Most likely because they didn't have to worry about it until some one dare challenge the norm. Then they thought they could bully her in to conforming to their standards of dress and, likely, their sense of morality. When she didn't they hide it behind a facade of a dress code which didn't exist until a little over a month ago.

You can talk about dress codes you've had to put up with but this is apples and oranges. When you attend a school with a dress code you are made well aware of what the dress code is when you start. This school had no dress code until it seemed likely that someone was going to challenge the status quo then they put one in place specific enough to affect one person and their date. It's not a dress code, it's a morality code.

If it was all about the dress code, why not just hold the prom and deny her entry when she showed up in the tux?

This was clearly all about a girl bringing another girl to the prom.

Listen, I don't have a HUGE problem with dress codes, as long as they are about looking your best and showing you care. For example, if she'd wanted to show up in baggy jeans and a t-shirt with a giant phallus on it or something, then yeah, she shouldn't be able to go. But she *was* dressing up in formal wear, it's just that the school doesn't like that for her formal wear doesn't mean a dress. As long as you're looking you're best and showing you care (as wearing a tux would indicate), then you'd be well within the rules of any sane dress code I can imagine.

That should be the basic criteria, showing you care. She met that

This is worse than when I took a bi girl to my prom, and worried that she'd wear a suit in some deeply awkward teenage confusion. She was pretty and occasionally gay.

hehe

A local hotel owner here in NOLA offered to send buses for the kids and host the prom here in New Orleans so everyone could go.