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Tiger Woods Sext Messages

post #1 of 76
3/19/10 at 3:49pm
Thread Starter 
Absolutely hysterical.

http://deadspin.com/5496451/joslyn-j...-sext-messages
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post #2 of 76
3/19/10 at 4:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Woods View Post
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
This list made my day.
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post #3 of 76
3/19/10 at 4:43pm
He sure knows how to be discreet.


Quote:
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
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post #4 of 76
3/19/10 at 4:57pm
Not that I don't buy that these are real, but this set of texts don't read like previous sext messages reported by other mistresses.
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post #5 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Tiger:Sent: 04:12 PM 08/31/2009:
Hey babe! You, me, and Tom Kite makes 3
Unbelievable.
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post #6 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:17pm
This is private. Fucking hate the way people lap this shit up.
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post #7 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:24pm
Seriously. I hate that we have access to this stuff. I think it sucks that the mistress released the messages and that we have a media more than happy to publish it for ratings. This is one of those times where the "back in my day..." speech is totally fucking correct.
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post #8 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:25pm
Yeah, but this is hysterical stupidity on his part.

It's not like Gawker, TMZ and the other 'net shops just opened up last week.
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post #9 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:34pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
This is private. Fucking hate the way people lap this shit up.
This reminds me of your screed against the discussion of the sexual identities of the Wachowski brother (forget which one). When one considers the thematic content of the Wachowski brother's' films, I really didn't understand why you were so strident in your disgust. A discussion of how that Wachowski brother's personal issues might play into the content of their films admittedly did amuse on a prurient level, but it also presented an interesting window into analyzing their film oeuvre. As I remember, you never responded to any comments on the topic.

Now, on to Eldrick. Tiger Woods is a world class hypocrite. You want to sext and affair it up? Fine. That's a private matter. At least, it is UNTIL you profit to the tune of hundreds of the millions of dollars a year by carefully crafting and promoting a hideously fake persona. Don't put your kids and wife out there as a major component of your publicity/hype machine to sell yourself as a family man, while meanwhile you are telling a porn star you're going to cum in her ass cause you own it.

Tiger Woods is a billion dollar entertainment brand. Sure, the deconstruction of that brand is entertaining on a juvenile level, but it is also relevant because he is a public figure who essentially has been lying to the public. You're going to make your private life part of your public business, you reap the consequences if you're lying to everyone. You can't have it both ways. If you're going to deem one part of your private life "public" in your business enterprises, you can't withhold the parts that confirm you are a dirtbag hypocrite. I'd use the same analysis in evaluating whether or not a legislator's personal sexual preferences are public fodder. You make hypocrisy part of your voting record, you open yourself up to scrutiny.

Also: Tiger is a freak, yo.
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post #10 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
At least, it is UNTIL you profit to the tune of hundreds of the millions of dollars a year by carefully crafting and promoting a hideously fake persona.
I thought he profited because he's a hell of a golfer.
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post #11 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:39pm
Yeah, people supporting someone because they seem like a great person is one of the first lessons we learn that is bullshit.

That said, I don't care what he does in his private life. I enjoy him for his mastery of his sport and his video games.
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post #12 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:41pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
I thought he profited because he's a hell of a golfer.
That's really naive. When businesses choose pitchmen, they are essentially investing in the entire person, not just their ESPN highlight reel. If you think a business's analysis begins and ends on the field of play, you're dead wrong. It's really just the start of a comprehensive evaluation of how the person can be used to move merchandise. And family life/beliefs is a huge component of that evaluation.

The proof of what I've just said just played out before your eyes. He's been dropped left and right. Is it because of what happened on the golf course? Nope. It's because the person they thought they were renting turned out to be someone else. Someone they don't want associated with their product.
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post #13 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:43pm
I don't feel bad for Tiger. And if I heard some of that shit in a pr0no, I'd chuckle. I think that this is another example of how bottom-line driven our media is. Or how gossip-obsessed we are. Eh, maybe my outrage is 30 years too late.
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post #14 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
That's really naive. When businesses choose pitchmen, they buy the entire product. If you think their analysis begins and ends on the field of play, you're dead wrong. It's really just the start of a comprehensive evaluation of how the person can be used to move merchandise. And family life/beliefs is a huge component of that evaluation.
This is why Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have had big promo deals.

You have to be a real fucking moron to honestly care what a GOLFER does in his private life. I mean, to get a chuckle from it is one thing, but to be angry at the 'hideous fake persona' he created... who gives a shit? I hope those Nikes you bought haven't turned to ash since the revelation that Tiger likes to pound blondes in the ass.
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post #15 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
That's really naive. When businesses choose pitchmen, they are essentially investing in the entire person, not just their ESPN highlight reel. If you think a business's analysis begins and ends on the field of play, you're dead wrong. It's really just the start of a comprehensive evaluation of how the person can be used to move merchandise. And family life/beliefs is a huge component of that evaluation.

The proof of what I've just said just played out before your eyes. He's been dropped left and right. Is it because of what happened on the golf course? Nope. It's because the person they thought they were renting turned out to be someone else. Someone they don't want associated with their product.
And just wait until after the Masters pulls in record ratings and all those sponsors can safely bring him back on board because they've shown the proper amount of moral outrage and can go back to making money now.
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post #16 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:52pm
I'm not concerned with how the image he's crafted doesn't jive with his desire to fuck all of the women he'd never be able to fuck if he wasn't Tiger Woods, not concerned with that at all (if he wasn't married, I'd say take advantage of that like there was no tomorrow, drill and drill until you strike oil). However, if I do dumb shit, dumb shit tends to happen to me as a result, same with anybody, including Woods, but in his case on a much larger scale.
A consequence is a consequence is a consequence, if he didn't want to deal with a bunch of strangers passing judgment on him and turning his private life into a public joke, then I guess he should have been smarter.
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post #17 of 76
3/19/10 at 5:54pm
I just like the way her replies haven't been published because her phone automatically clears outgoing texts. How convenient.
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post #18 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:00pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Yeah, people supporting someone because they seem like a great person is one of the first lessons we learn that is bullshit.
True.

Quote:
That said, I don't care what he does in his private life. I enjoy him for his mastery of his sport and his video games.
Fair enough, but it is still news. And I don't want the news censored.
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post #19 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:01pm
*takes notes*

I've needed some new material for my greetings card messages!
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post #20 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
Fair enough, but it is still news. And I don't want the news censored.
That statement stretches the definition of news and censorship.
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post #21 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:02pm
What he did was news. The details of these texts is not.
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post #22 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:03pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
You have to be a real fucking moron to honestly care what a GOLFER does in his private life. I mean, to get a chuckle from it is one thing, but to be angry at the 'hideous fake persona' he created... who gives a shit? I hope those Nikes you bought haven't turned to ash since the revelation that Tiger likes to pound blondes in the ass.
Who's angry? Hmmm ... I suppose his sponsors are. Maybe people who think spousal abuse shouldn't be swept under the rug aren't too happy about the situation either, since all signs point to Woods's wife taking a golf club to his face and/or car.

Most people I know are laughing their asses off.
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post #23 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:03pm
Try Tiger's new Gatorade flavor "Ass to Mouth" Frost.
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post #24 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:06pm
I think Klaus Kinski said "you should judge men by their perversions, not their virtues; virtues can be faked, perversions are natural".
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post #25 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pop Zeus View Post
Seriously. I hate that we have access to this stuff. I think it sucks that the mistress released the messages and that we have a media more than happy to publish it for ratings. This is one of those times where the "back in my day..." speech is totally fucking correct.
"Back in my day, the filthy sex talk between myself and my many, many misstress was private between them, myself and J. Edgard Hoover and his pink dress!"
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post #26 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
What he did was news. The details of these texts is not.
His divorce was news. Everything else is gossip. Gossip may technically be protected under free speech, but there is no overwhelming public interest being served in the communication of gossip, it is strictly information being turned into commerce. And news outlets not reporting on gossip (which is how things used to be) is not even close to a correct definition of censorship.
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post #27 of 76
3/19/10 at 6:15pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
What he did was news. The details of these texts is not.
Quote:
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
What about his appalling grammar? Is that news?
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post #28 of 76
3/19/10 at 10:44pm
Wow, now I know how to build a long term relationship with a Porn Star!


Thanks Tiger!

I'll be doing some "sexting" of my own this weekend to the laadys!
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post #29 of 76
3/20/10 at 2:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
... Now, on to Eldrick. Tiger Woods is a world class hypocrite. You want to sext and affair it up? Fine. That's a private matter. At least, it is UNTIL you profit to the tune of hundreds of the millions of dollars a year by carefully crafting and promoting a hideously fake persona. Don't put your kids and wife out there as a major component of your publicity/hype machine to sell yourself as a family man, while meanwhile you are telling a porn star you're going to cum in her ass cause you own it.

Tiger Woods is a billion dollar entertainment brand. Sure, the deconstruction of that brand is entertaining on a juvenile level, but it is also relevant because he is a public figure who essentially has been lying to the public. You're going to make your private life part of your public business, you reap the consequences if you're lying to everyone. You can't have it both ways. If you're going to deem one part of your private life "public" in your business enterprises, you can't withhold the parts that confirm you are a dirtbag hypocrite. I'd use the same analysis in evaluating whether or not a legislator's personal sexual preferences are public fodder. You make hypocrisy part of your voting record, you open yourself up to scrutiny.

...
I couldn't have put it better. Good post, Overlord.
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post #30 of 76
3/20/10 at 5:20am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Foster View Post
I couldn't have put it better. Good post, Overlord.
Good to have you back Geoff!
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post #31 of 76
3/20/10 at 5:21am
The idea that someone would actually be bothered in any way because an athlete doesn't live up to a carefully crafted image used to sell shit that has nothing to do with morality baffles me. I believe I said this in an earlier thread, but Woods is not a fucking politician or a man of the cloth. He sells clothes, video games, and neon hued beverages.

Not telling the public you're screwing porn stars in not lying to them, it's lying to your wife. If the public wants to be offended by hypocrisy in Tiger's advertising vs. his real life, be offended he tried to sell you a fucking Buick while he's driving a Ferrari.
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post #32 of 76
3/20/10 at 5:25am
For a while my jealousy of Tiger Wood's success was tempered by the fact that he was so hideously bland. Upon learning that he actually had a veritable harem of chicks willing and able to do all sorts of nasty shit for him, on top of being so disgustingly rich, I cannot contain myself . Fuck him. I hope he goes down like the Hindenburg.

Now excuse me. My bland wife has fallen asleep so it's time for me to go to the bathroom, limply masturbate and cry about how much my life is so fucking unimportant. But it's not all bad. At least I get to see one of my "betters" humiliated.
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post #33 of 76
3/20/10 at 9:59am
Where was all the outrage when Kobe decided rape was part of his ski lodge package?
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post #34 of 76
3/20/10 at 10:28am
Is it me, or a lot of people here read the "Tiger" piece on Vanity Fair?
Also, a co-worker refered to Woods yesterday as "Basically, he was a sex obssesed Happy Gilmore", which made me chuckle.
Sure, the scandal is huge, but can anyone here admit that Woods talent for golf would have made him a "brand" if he had kept his sexual tyranosaurus as his public persona?
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post #35 of 76
3/20/10 at 10:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kingcujoI View Post
Where was all the outrage when Kobe decided rape was part of his ski lodge package?
Well, no one can be both a massive sex enthusiast and class act, right?
Well, except:

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post #36 of 76
3/20/10 at 10:39am
It still amazes me that people give a fuck about what Tiger Woods does in his personal life beyond the scandalous nature. Given that, oh, 98% of the NBA is probably doing the same exact thing. He's a golfer. He owes me nothing other than winning golf tournaments and being entertaining while doing so. Unless I'm a share-holder of Gillette or any other company using his services I fail to see how it's news.
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post #37 of 76
3/20/10 at 10:58am
It amazes me that there is a gossip forum on a movie site.
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post #38 of 76
3/20/10 at 11:02am
Where's all this outrage when it comes to John Daly? Who has been given chance after chance to clean up his act and has clearly shown he simply doesn't give a fuck?
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post #39 of 76
3/20/10 at 11:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Where's all this outrage when it comes to John Daly? Who has been given chance after chance to clean up his act and has clearly shown he simply doesn't give a fuck?


John Daly embraces who he truly is and doent give a fuck, just as you said (Hooters endorsment!); he outrage comes from the "Tiger lied to us, he isnt who he appeared to be" reaction.
If it was reveled that Daly swims naked on a pool of beer and then rolls on a field of burgers with his mouth open, no one would bat an eye.
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post #40 of 76
3/20/10 at 11:17am
Out of pop culture curiosity, I checked in on this thread a few times before I actually read the text messages, which I have now done. I don't get it. I fear that anyone who thinks these texts are "absolutely hilarious" hasn't really lived. I mean, they're not particularly funny even in contrast to Woods' previously untarnished image. I read them and see pretty average flirting and dirty talk, a lot of concern over travel logistics, meals and work, and then the big cliffhanger at the end which, given his public exposure, seems pretty understandable. But the underlying vibe I get from the texts, regardless of the serial infidelity involved, is simply affection (superficial though it may be) with a slight tinge of reasonable celebrity paranoia. That's hilarious?

Yeah, Tiger Woods fucked up. He cheated on his wife and embarrassed his family. But if those texts were between him and his wife, would this still be considered worth discussing? I'm sorry but the tone and content of all that "sexting" seems pretty common between amorous adults.
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post #41 of 76
3/20/10 at 11:30am
The hilarious part is Tiger making sure that his porn star mistress isn't hooking up with other guys and gals.
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post #42 of 76
3/20/10 at 11:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Augustine View Post
The hilarious part is Tiger making sure that his porn star mistress isn't hooking up with other guys and gals.
It reads me to as the opposite, as if Woods was simply testing the waters to broach the subject of having a three-way with his porn star mistress, which he eventually did.
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post #43 of 76
3/20/10 at 12:08pm
Here's the question. WHY get married? I don't get it. Unless you're not going to cheat, get married once you're retired or something. Then you can fuck around and no one cares. It's only a scandal cause you have wife and kids.
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post #44 of 76
3/20/10 at 12:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by User_32 View Post
Here's the question. WHY get married? I don't get it. Unless you're not going to cheat, get married once you're retired or something. Then you can fuck around and no one cares. It's only a scandal cause you have wife and kids.
Relevant quote from The Departed:

Quote:
Ellerby: Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work.

Sullivan: Yeah, it's working... Overtime!

Ellerby: I'm glad to hear that.
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post #45 of 76
3/20/10 at 7:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
Now, on to Eldrick. Tiger Woods is a world class hypocrite. You want to sext and affair it up? Fine. That's a private matter. At least, it is UNTIL you profit to the tune of hundreds of the millions of dollars a year by carefully crafting and promoting a hideously fake persona. Don't put your kids and wife out there as a major component of your publicity/hype machine to sell yourself as a family man, while meanwhile you are telling a porn star you're going to cum in her ass cause you own it.

... (unhealthy facination with Tiger's sexual life continues ...)

If you're going to deem one part of your private life "public" in your business enterprises, you can't withhold the parts that confirm you are a dirtbag hypocrite. I'd use the same analysis in evaluating whether or not a legislator's personal sexual preferences are public fodder. You make hypocrisy part of your voting record, you open yourself up to scrutiny.
Maybe I should have been paying more attention to Tiger Woods, but was he out there screaming at men for cheating on their wives? Was he shouting sermons warning people that they will burn in hell if they betrayed their marital bows? Was he making fun of people who had cheated on their wives while claiming he was a perfect husband?

Did he do this in the middle of one of this EA video games? You know, you're planing as Tiger Woods in the game, and his CG model turns around, looks at you with contempt and asks you "I know you cheated on her", while nodding his head and giving you back control of his form for the rest of the game?

I mean if not, I don't really get why you think this is really any of our business. Even if he presented himself as a family man, did he do it in such a way that it was diminishing your value as a man in the first place?

I totally believe he acted as a horrible person, but at the end of the day he's just another flawed human being, like the rest of us. I wish him well, and hope he can recover, hopefully make amends with his family and work things out.

Are you perfect? Have you ever just slightly presented yourself in a way that you know you truly are not? You've never ever been just a tad hypocritical?

Why don't you look at yourself in the mirror, maybe you'll find a few logs of your own in your eye.
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post #46 of 76
3/20/10 at 8:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by A. Lively View Post
Relevant quote from The Departed:
All this proves is that I should wear a wedding band when I go out trolling for the minuscule number of females (that I don't have to pay/kill/wipe up after) willing to have sex with me.
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post #47 of 76
3/20/10 at 9:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Are you perfect? Have you ever just slightly presented yourself in a way that you know you truly are not? You've never ever been just a tad hypocritical?

Why don't you look at yourself in the mirror, maybe you'll find a few logs of your own in your eye.
No one has paid any of us millions of dollars to endorse their products based, in part, on our wholesome family image. And it's not like the guy had a 'moment of weakness.' He was funneling some of those millions to keep his (multiple) concubines quiet.
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post #48 of 76
3/20/10 at 9:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhukov View Post
No one has paid any of us millions of dollars to endorse their products based, in part, on our wholesome family image.
Who cares? I don't think he was presenting himself as super husband no? Does EA make lovesims of him that let you play as a husband for some virtual wife?

He was paid millions because he's a great golf player. I mean, I don't really follow this guy, but really was he making all the cheating husbands out there feel insecure or something?
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post #49 of 76
3/20/10 at 9:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhukov View Post
No one has paid any of us millions of dollars to endorse their products based, in part, on our wholesome family image.
Why do so many people everywhere keep repeating this? It makes no sense whatsoever. The very nature of advertising is lying. Every commercial you see is a lie in some way, shape, or form.

And who doesn't put a good face to the public? Even regular people do that. As a a matter of fact, when a celebrity doesn't give a shit how they look or act in public, they get criticized for that.

This story has really brought out the stupid in people.
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post #50 of 76
3/20/10 at 11:45pm
I don't understand where the backlash is coming from actually. Is this really the first time people have reveled in schadenfreude? Have you guys never seen Joe Public get off on watching a billionaire get knocked down a peg? Call it immoral, call it ugly, or unethical, but it is completely natural for the common man to enjoy watching a BILLIONAIRE take a lot of shit. Why? He's a BILLIONAIRE, and we're not. Bill Gates and Ted Turner might be really feeling for Tiger Woods right now. Overlord happens to think it's hilarious when his mistress releases embarrassing texts. And, while it's not the nicest thing in the world, I'm sure if word got back to Tiger about this thread, he'd get over it. He's not a helpless lamb. He's a BILLIONAIRE playboy athlete. I don't think he needs people on the internet saying "Hey guys, not cool!".
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