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Great Moments In White Guilt

post #1 of 176
4/13/10 at 3:57pm
Thread Starter 
Whenever I see an interracial couple in the store or on the street or wherever, I always think "hey, good for them!" I know nothing of their relationship or them as individuals but I still want to give them a high five and say "Yeah, right on, break those barriers!" Because I'm a white guy dating a white woman and I somehow fear that part of this is racism on my part.

I find white guilt to be fascinating and hysterical. White Chewers, what are some of your greatest moments of white guilt? Minority Chewers, what are some of the greater instances of white guilt you've encountered?
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post #2 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:04pm
Are you serious?
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post #3 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:05pm
Is it terribly white of me that when I see hip intellectuals on the internet using 'white' as a synonym for 'middle class and probably with a degree' I end up thinking it's kind of obnoxious and patronising to whites and non-whites alike?
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post #4 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:05pm
I always let black people go before me on the bus because I'm automatically thinking of Rosa Parks
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post #5 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:06pm
especially if they're cute girls so that I can ogle dat ass
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post #6 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:07pm
When I read something by Cornell West, I respect the intelligent and well-reasoned points that he usually makes.
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post #7 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:09pm
I feel guilty that I've never had sex with a black chick, but I'm still working on it.
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post #8 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The LD View Post
When I read something by Cornell West, I respect the intelligent and well-reasoned points that he usually makes.
ban
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post #9 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:11pm
Thread Starter 
I've already mentioned this one in a thread long past, but I always put more effort to be friendly to my black great uncle than any other distant relative I have, often clumsily referencing what little knowledge of jazz and blues musicians I have in the process. That part isn't racist because blues and jazz music is what he's really into, but it still FEELS racist, on some subconscious level.
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post #10 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
Whenever I see an interracial couple in the store or on the street or wherever, I always think "hey, good for them!" I know nothing of their relationship or them as individuals but I still want to give them a high five and say "Yeah, right on, break those barriers!" Because I'm a white guy dating a white woman and I somehow fear that part of this is racism on my part.
That's nice. We (my wife and I) once got a "It's so great what you're doing" by a little old white lady at a Publix. I thought she was commenting on my handling of the melons but apparently being an interracial couple is cause for celebration and we're knocking down the Berlin Wall or some shit.

No, we're not. We're just two people who fell in love with each other. I'm not going to lie and say racism doesn't exist for us or our relationship hasn't been affected by it to varying degrees (on both "sides") but we're not saving the world here.
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post #11 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:14pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bancroft Agee View Post
That's nice. We (my wife and I) once got a "It's so great what you're doing" by a little old white lady at a Publix. I thought she was commenting on my handling of the melons but apparently being an interracial couple is cause for celebration and we're knocking down the Berlin Wall or some shit.

No, we're not. We're just two people who fell in love with each other. I'm not going to lie and say racism doesn't exist for us or our relationship hasn't been affected by it to varying degrees (on both "sides") but we're not saving the world here.
I know, Agee, THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY.
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post #12 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bancroft Agee View Post
That's nice. We (my wife and I) once got a "It's so great what you're doing" by a little old white lady at a Publix. I thought she was commenting on my handling of the melons but apparently being an interracial couple is cause for celebration and we're knocking down the Berlin Wall or some shit.

No, we're not. We're just two people who fell in love with each other. I'm not going to lie and say racism doesn't exist for us or our relationship hasn't been affected by it to varying degrees (on both "sides") but we're not saving the world here.
While I think that saying something about it is a little bit much, I see nothing particularly "white guilt" about being pleased to see two people who haven't let a potentially negative reaction from society stop them from finding each other. It might not be saving the world, but it's still a positive thing to see.
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post #13 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:17pm
I always find myself nodding to black people when I walk past them.
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post #14 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
I always find myself nodding to black people when I walk past them.
You should tell them what you do when you walk past Asians.
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post #15 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:18pm
When I go into one of those make-your-own-sandwich shops, and I see all the beautiful, glistening diversity on display behind the counter, and I know that it's probably all delicious only I'm too afraid to explore what's different beyond what I'm told is the norm. And then of course they pile those toppings high on a tiny little 6 inch piece of white bread, and I can't stop them because I don't realize the wonder of other varieties. Would it even taste like bread? Maybe I can't stop them because I don't want to stop them.

I mean, I want to eat fresh, but I know I'm not fresh, you know? It's just--I'm sorry, I need a moment.
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post #16 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
I've already mentioned this one in a thread long past, but I always put more effort to be friendly to my black great uncle than any other distant relative I have, often clumsily referencing what little knowledge of jazz and blues musicians I have in the process. That part isn't racist because blues and jazz music is what he's really into, but it still FEELS racist, on some subconscious level.
Now I know you're not serious. Well-played, Ripoll. Well-played.
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post #17 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:19pm
Take it from someone living in kind of a wonderful place where interracial couples are so rampant, I'm shocked everyone's not beige: The most heroic, appreciative act a white person could possibly perform when seeing a black/white couple together is to not give a fuck.
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post #18 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:19pm
Man whatEVER. I would LOVE to be white. You guys should shut your fucking white liberal guilt whining and realize how good you have it. Celebrate it. Really revel in it. Go do some awkward dancing and file a quarterly report and just own it! We, minorities, WANT you to!

Also, ladies. I'm totally down with the french vanilla swirl, ifyaknowwaddamean
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post #19 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
I've already mentioned this one in a thread long past, but I always put more effort to be friendly to my black great uncle than any other distant relative I have, often clumsily referencing what little knowledge of jazz and blues musicians I have in the process. That part isn't racist because blues and jazz music is what he's really into, but it still FEELS racist, on some subconscious level.
Wasn't there a situation where you mentioned something about white people stealing the blues? Or was that someone else?
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post #20 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:21pm
I always laugh at their antisemitic jokes even if I've heard one of them before.
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post #21 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
Take it from someone living in kind of a wonderful place where interracial couples are so rampant, I'm shocked everyone's not beige: The most heroic, appreciative act a white person could possibly perform when seeing a black/white couple together is to not give a fuck.
Lol rampant.
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post #22 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:21pm
Is this like considering-a-Seinfeld episode-seriously, right?

The most heroic, appreciative act a white person could possibly perform when seeing a black/white couple together is to not give a fuck. Yes!
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post #23 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:22pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Now I know you're not serious. Well-played, Ripoll. Well-played.
No, actually that's also a true story. And I think a lot of this is a midwestern, suburban kind of thing. If I grew up in the city, these thoughts would never ever enter my mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
Wasn't there a situation where you mentioned something about white people stealing the blues? Or was that someone else?
Well yeah, Elvis, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones, etc. all stole blues riffs (and in the case of the Stones, often entire songs) without ever referencing the artists they stole them from. They got rich and most early blues artists stayed very very poor because they were black and thus, they weren't marketable.

But that's history, I had nothing to do with that, I promise.
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post #24 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
Take it from someone living in kind of a wonderful place where interracial couples are so rampant, I'm shocked everyone's not beige: The most heroic, appreciative act a white person could possibly perform when seeing a black/white couple together is to not give a fuck.
Speaking of beige, my brother qualifies as a visible minority but not because we're an eighth black but because he looks Hispanic. Very weird.
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post #25 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice View Post
Man whatEVER. I would LOVE to be white. You guys should shut your fucking white liberal guilt whining and realize how good you have it. Celebrate it. Really revel in it. Go do some awkward dancing and file a quarterly report and just own it! We, minorities, WANT you to!
High Five!

Ooooh, we whites stole that move from the African-American community... now I feel guilty.
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post #26 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:25pm
I had a woman tell me they had never met a Black person until she went to college. I'm guessing she felt the need to tell me this in case she said some fucked up racist shit in my presence.
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post #27 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
High Five!

Ooooh, we whites stole that move from the African-American community... now I feel guilty.
Have you made reparations for stealing the high five?
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post #28 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:26pm
Speaking of sandwiches, when an African-American behind the counter asks me if I want white or wheat bread, I can't bring myself to say "white", because I feel like it reminds them that I'm white and can therefore afford yummy sandwiches.
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post #29 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:27pm
Between this and the Office Space thread I feel like we're the embodiment of what MLK fought and died for y'all
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post #30 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:27pm
I think this thread has what it takes to be one of the great retarded CHUD threads of all time. I hope that's not racist of me.
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post #31 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:28pm
Could you be more bigoted with that statement?
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post #32 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:29pm
Sometimes I use my American Express card to pay for lunch at Popeye's. That always makes me feel a little guilty, so I try to make up for it with a few extra nods.
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post #33 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:29pm
As an asian, I hereby officially release all of you from the guilt of feeling bad for the following:

-yellow jokes
-pulling the sides of your eyes back and upwards
-replacing L's with R's
-teeny peeny jokes

You are still not allowed to:
-refer to our mom's vagina as an "eggroll"
-like kung fu movies more than us
-feel okay about Hiroshima

There, didn't a load get lifted off your shoulders today? Who's next? Let the healing begin. Right here, right now.
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post #34 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Sometimes I use my American Express card to pay for lunch at Popeye's. That always makes me feel a little guilty, so I try to make up for it with a few extra nods.
Actually, I think you're screwing that up. You have to laugh stiltedly at everything the employees there say to you if you're using AMEX.
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post #35 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:30pm
God SoulAhnIce, I want to put you in a camp so bad.
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post #36 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:32pm
The employees at my Popeye's are all Hispanic and Indian (and one Russian girl). That's what's so funny about it. I wonder if the other customers feel black guilt about that?
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post #37 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Sometimes I use my American Express card to pay for lunch at Popeye's. That always makes me feel a little guilty, so I try to make up for it with a few extra nods.
I'm floored your Popeye's even accepts credit cards. The one in my old neighborhood was cash-only. Because minorities write bad checks.
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post #38 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Speaking of sandwiches, when an African-American behind the counter asks me if I want white or wheat bread, I can't bring myself to say "white", because I feel like it reminds them that I'm white and can therefore afford yummy sandwiches.

Oh God, that reminds me of my racist Burger King story.

When I was working at Burger King, this guy came up to the register where my co-worker Sheniqua was working and ordered a carton on milk. She asked him what kind of milk, because we had 2%, chocolate, skim, etc. He replied "White. THE ONLY KIND", loud enough so everyone in the place turned around and looked at him. Sheniqua, not missing a beat, yelled back "No, there's also BLACK MILK!" and stormed off.

I had to excuse myself so no one would see how hard I was laughing. I don't know what this guy thought he was getting at and I sure as hell don't know what Sheniqua was talking about.

But if you want another example of white guilt, whenever I tell this story, I tend to rename my co-worker "Sara", so people don't think I made her up so I could tell a racist anecdote. I FEEL GUILTY SAYING SHENIQUA'S NAME WAS SHENIQUA.
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post #39 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
The employees at my Popeye's are all Hispanic and Indian (and one Russian girl). That's what's so funny about it. I wonder if the other customers feel black guilt about that?
Oh snap, you know what I just realized? POPEYE, THE SAILOR, IS WHITE. consipracy?!
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post #40 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post
I'm floored your Popeye's even accepts credit cards. The one in my old neighborhood was cash-only. Because minorities write bad checks.
It's in a very high-rent part of town. Which is weird, I know, but there it is. Us rich white folk have got to have good chicken, you know?
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post #41 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice View Post
Oh snap, you know what I just realized? POPEYE, THE SAILOR, IS WHITE. consipracy?!
How many non-white sailors do you know? God, Soul, shut up.
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post #42 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice View Post
Oh snap, you know what I just realized? POPEYE, THE SAILOR, IS WHITE. consipracy?!
I think the closest any Popeye character even comes to minority status is Olive Oyl. Italian, perhaps?
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post #43 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:36pm
SINBAD ISN'T WHITE. AND HE'S A SAILOR. right? Isn't he?
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post #44 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:38pm
I didn't see a boat in Houseguest or Jingle All the Way.
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post #45 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
I always let black people go before me on the bus because I'm automatically thinking of Rosa Parks
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
especially if they're cute girls so that I can ogle dat ass
I have yet to partake of the partaking of oiling dat ass.
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post #46 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:39pm
Were you guys actively hoarding your racist jokes?
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post #47 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:39pm
no hoarding is for Mexicans and white trash
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post #48 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
Were you guys actively hoarding your racist jokes?
Why, yes. I kept them hidden underneath my swastika flag right next to my collection of Tijuana bibles.
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post #49 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:40pm
Hoarding?

....Spike, did you just call us Jews? That's not cool.
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post #50 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:41pm
I really enjoy watching Obama make his Final Four picks, but it makes me feel guilty as HELL.
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