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Great Moments In White Guilt - Page 4

post #151 of 176
4/14/10 at 11:04am
Can't it be both?
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post #152 of 176
4/14/10 at 11:25am
I was going to say, Strippervillian.
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post #153 of 176
4/14/10 at 11:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Yup. My hair is quite soft, but because of its thickness it gets caught on things all teh time. When I was a kid, there were all these tasteless jokes going around my school. You know, Helen Keller type stuff. But there were also a bunch about Black people and they always had to do with hair sticking to velcro. In any case, I was wearing a jacket that had vecro tabs on the hood and I leaned forward one day and almost ripped my hair out. I blurted out, "I hate when my hair gets caught in velcro" and then immediately felt embarrassed that I had confirmed to this stereotype that people had. But damn, that shit hurts. I stopped wearing anything with velcro after that.
So, if you're only half black, does that mean your velcro-adhesion powers are only at 50%?
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post #154 of 176
4/14/10 at 12:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uth Vaspetad View Post
I was given my first and only teddy by a kindly old black man.
He sounds magical. You should write a script based on this experience.
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post #155 of 176
4/14/10 at 12:49pm
Pedobagger Vance
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post #156 of 176
4/14/10 at 12:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
So, if you're only half black, does that mean your velcro-adhesion powers are only at 50%?
If only that were the case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Pedobagger Vance
Bahahahahaha!
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post #157 of 176
4/14/10 at 12:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Okay, yeah, that's messed up. However, I'm a white girl with curly hair and people say stuff about it/try to touch it/make really stupid jokes about my apparent Irishness with relative regularity (including a friend of mine who's going to pull back a bloody stump the next time she tugs on one of my curls and says "sproing!"). I've wanted to mention this on feminist blogs in discussions of black hair, but I've always hesitated, for fear of getting smacked back for trying to share at what might be the wrong moment.

I think curly-haired girls should transcend race and unite to tell people to stop, for the love of God, trying to touch their 'dos.
We should start a movement. You wouldn't go up to someone on the street, lovingly caress their face, and then marvel about how soft and smooth their skin is, so why is it okay to do it to someone's hair?

There's something creepily intimate about doing it too. I'll bet if you brought it up on the blogs Zooey, black women would agree wholeheartedly. We're always pissing and moaning about folks touching our hair.

I'm always a bit envious of my girlfriend's (white or black) bouncy curly hair though. It always looks so shiny and ... plump.
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post #158 of 176
4/14/10 at 1:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoaSugarbaker View Post
We should start a movement. You wouldn't go up to someone on the street, lovingly caress their face, and then marvel about how soft and smooth their skin is, so why is it okay to do it to someone's hair?

There's something creepily intimate about doing it too. I'll bet if you brought it up on the blogs Zooey, black women would agree wholeheartedly. We're always pissing and moaning about folks touching our hair.

I'm always a bit envious of my girlfriend's (white or black) bouncy curly hair though. It always looks so shiny and ... plump.
My wife has the complaint that when a woman's pregnant, other people (even strangers) lose all sense of personal spcase and feel it's ok to touch a preggo's belly uninvited.
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post #159 of 176
4/14/10 at 1:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoaSugarbaker View Post
We should start a movement. You wouldn't go up to someone on the street, lovingly caress their face, and then marvel about how soft and smooth their skin is, so why is it okay to do it to someone's hair?

There's something creepily intimate about doing it too. I'll bet if you brought it up on the blogs Zooey, black women would agree wholeheartedly. We're always pissing and moaning about folks touching our hair.

I'm always a bit envious of my girlfriend's (white or black) bouncy curly hair though. It always looks so shiny and ... plump.
Let's bring this around to movies. In Away We Go, there's this scene where LN compliments Verona's hair with a sort of weird, glazed smile on her face. And I'm sure she means it sincerely on some level, as I have most definitely been that white woman who wanted to say something about the excellent hair of the black woman standing in front of her, especially when it's crazy, gorgeous, curly hair. But I'm almost certain there's no way to be a white woman and pay a compliment like that to a black woman without sounding like LN. And I don't want to be a creep, so I keep my mouth shut.
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post #160 of 176
4/14/10 at 2:21pm
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-w...an-into,17246/
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post #161 of 176
4/14/10 at 2:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
My wife has the complaint that when a woman's pregnant, other people (even strangers) lose all sense of personal spcase and feel it's ok to touch a preggo's belly uninvited.
Without meaning to threadjack, I've had a lot of women tell me this happens all the time, with older women being the most common culprits. Apparently being someone's grandmother gives them license to lay hands on any and all pregnant women they encounter.

And while that's still invasive and creepy, it's more conceptually understandable than a man touching a stranger's stomach. WTF?
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post #162 of 176
4/14/10 at 3:04pm
Can you imagine what it must be like for pregnant women with curly hair? Ppl would be lining up to test their skill at sproinging hair and rubbing tummies at the same time.
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post #163 of 176
4/14/10 at 3:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin View Post
Nice.
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post #164 of 176
4/14/10 at 3:44pm
Also:

http://www.theonion.com/video/man-at...because,17220/
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post #165 of 176
4/14/10 at 4:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Also, I used to date a girl named Victorian Genocides.
Hey, I think I knew her brother--Phil Genocides?

Can't be that common of a last name....
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post #166 of 176
4/14/10 at 4:37pm
I liked their cousin Jeffrey Genocides's novel, Middlesex.
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post #167 of 176
4/14/10 at 4:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
My wife has the complaint that when a woman's pregnant, other people (even strangers) lose all sense of personal spcase and feel it's ok to touch a preggo's belly uninvited.
Mrs H actually smacked someone's hands away from her when the went to touch her pregnant belly. The look on that old lady's face was awesome.
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post #168 of 176
4/14/10 at 5:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoaSugarbaker View Post
I'm always a bit envious of my girlfriend's (white or black) bouncy curly hair though. It always looks so shiny and ... plump.
All that strong talk, and you're fighting it too.

Just give in. One quick touch never hurts.
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post #169 of 176
4/14/10 at 7:23pm
Yeah, just grab a handful one day. Be sure to giggle while you're doing it, for maximum effect.
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post #170 of 176
4/14/10 at 10:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
My wife has the complaint that when a woman's pregnant, other people (even strangers) lose all sense of personal spcase and feel it's ok to touch a preggo's belly uninvited.
Do they try to rub her belly or poke it? Because if they are trying to poke her in the belly, isn't that like an abortion or something?
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post #171 of 176
4/15/10 at 1:34am
Was just at the supermarket, walked up to a manager and asked him where the soy sauce was. He was an Asian guy, and he turned and looked me right in the eyes, gauging how serious I was. "Soy sauce?" I looked down at my feet in shame and reconfirmed.
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post #172 of 176
4/15/10 at 11:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin View Post
Was just at the supermarket, walked up to a manager and asked him where the tentacle rape porn was. He was an Asian guy, and he turned and looked me right in the eyes, gauging how serious I was. "Tentacle rape porn?" I looked down at my feet in shame and reconfirmed.
...
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post #173 of 176
4/15/10 at 3:51pm
I just wanted to add that my son has kick ass hair. This isn't at trait he inherited from his balding, Irish-Scotch ancestry apparently. Let it grow out? Kick ass curly 'fro that the ladies dig. Shave it and line it out? He looks like he should be on the cover of Kid GQ.

I thank my wife everyday for letting this pasty white boy from Kentucky breed with her just for the hair on our son's head.
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post #174 of 176
4/15/10 at 4:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoaSugarbaker View Post
He sounds magical. You should write a script based on this experience.
The extent of our interaction after the teddy moment was merely waving to each other on the apartment grounds. He was always too busy performing his job as a maintenance worker for us to ever really talk. But if I could manage to conjure another hour and forty-five minutes worth of substance, then I just might be in business.
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post #175 of 176
4/15/10 at 4:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uth Vaspetad View Post
The extent of our interaction after the teddy moment was merely waving to each other on the apartment grounds. He was always too busy performing his job as a maintenance worker for us to ever really talk. But if I could manage to conjure another hour and forty-five minutes worth of substance, then I just might be in business.

Maybe he's a kindly CEO magical negro who just happens to dispense teddy bears and pick up trash.
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post #176 of 176
4/15/10 at 6:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Maybe he's a kindly CEO magical negro who just happens to dispense teddy bears and pick up trash.
Hmm... that *would* explain his helicopter with "Veni, Vidi, Vici, bitch!" emblazoned on the side.
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