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Great Moments In White Guilt - Page 2

post #51 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
Were you guys actively hoarding your racist jokes?
You want us to throw in a few mick jokes to make you feel better?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
I really enjoy watching Obama make his Final Four picks, but it makes me feel guilty as HELL.
It's alright, he LIKES basketball.
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post #52 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Ahn Ice View Post
There, didn't a load get lifted off your shoulders today? Who's next? Let the healing begin. Right here, right now.

This thread is clean.
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post #53 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:41pm
I live in a predominately black neighborhood and I make sure to never listen to rap music loud or with my window down. Just like in Office Space!
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post #54 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bancroft Agee View Post
That's nice. We (my wife and I) once got a "It's so great what you're doing" by a little old white lady at a Publix. I thought she was commenting on my handling of the melons but apparently being an interracial couple is cause for celebration and we're knocking down the Berlin Wall or some shit.
It could be worse. Years ago when I was a waiter as a student this tiny ancient old crone started telling me about her granddaughter who was going out with a "sambo", which she immediately followed with with "oh I suppose we can't call them that any more". Somehow the combo of her being a shrivelled, fossilised prune of a creature and the brilliantly archaic slur she managed to dig up made this more funny than depressing. To me anyway.
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post #55 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
But if you want another example of white guilt, whenever I tell this story, I tend to rename my co-worker "Sara", so people don't think I made her up so I could tell a racist anecdote. I FEEL GUILTY SAYING SHENIQUA'S NAME WAS SHENIQUA.
This isn't great moments in poor storytelling strategy, Patrick.
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post #56 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:44pm
In High School, I was in a KFC in one of the Southern states during a band trip. It was pretty busy and me and my 2 friends were the only white people in there. I look up at the menu and notice a sign that says "extra charge for all white orders" and immediately thought I was being discriminated against.

Thinking about that story makes me feel white-guilty.
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post #57 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:44pm
Im south american, and you all just made me feel guilty...Im off to buy some Tyler Perry movies to atone.
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post #58 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul C View Post
It could be worse. Years ago when I was a waiter as a student this tiny ancient old crone started telling me about her granddaughter who was going out with a "sambo", which she immediately followed with with "oh I suppose we can't call them that any more". Somehow the combo of her being a shrivelled, fossilised prune of a creature and the brilliantly archaic slur she managed to dig up made this more funny than depressing. To me anyway.
An elderly relative of mine used to refer to cashews as "nigger toes," always followed promptly by, "But I guess you can't call them that anymore." Whether he meant the cashews or black people, I was never quite certain, but that didn't stop him from proffering the term at every opportunity.
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post #59 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
There are three people in this picture.
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post #60 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:48pm
So you're the ones that put Sambo's out of business.
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post #61 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:49pm
When I was a kid my gramma lived downstairs from me, she used to invite me over to watch GOOD TIMES and JEFFERSONS reruns. She called it "nigger night". She's in hell now.
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post #62 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:50pm
OK, this is a true one: we were at the International Food and Wine Festival at EPCOT and they had a booth serving a variety of South African wines. I said to my friends, "Hey, why are all the white wines off to one side like that?" As I finished, I noticed there was an African-American couple standing right next to us. Awkward.
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post #63 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:52pm
Only if you assume that black people are confused by legitimate questions about wine varieties.
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post #64 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
OK, this is a true one: we were at the International Food and Wine Festival at EPCOT and they had a booth serving a variety of South African wines. I said to my friends, "Hey, why are all the white wines off to one side like that?" As I finished, I noticed there was an African-American couple standing right next to us. Awkward.
Its not your fault, i bet the sommelier at Epcot was a closet racist.
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post #65 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post
An elderly relative of mine used to refer to cashews as "nigger toes," always followed promptly by, "But I guess you can't call them that anymore." Whether he meant the cashews or black people, I was never quite certain, but that didn't stop him from proffering the term at every opportunity.
It's not cashews. It's Brazil nuts.
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post #66 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:54pm
Hmmm...this has gotten me thinking.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken" -- Kentucky, a state founded by, and full of, white people.
"Popeye's" -- A white SAILOR.
"Roy Rogers" -- A fuckin cowboy...need I say more.

The whole goddamn fried chicken industry smacks of cultural imperialism and outright racism. I may never be able to enjoy a 3-piece dinner again.
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post #67 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
How many non-white sailors do you know? God, Soul, shut up.
Exactly. Folks know them darkies can't swim.
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post #68 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:56pm
I'm always apologising for apartheid.
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post #69 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy Jankis View Post
It's not cashews. It's Brazil nuts.
I'm cool with that, as the being wrong means I'm not so familiar with racist slang, allaying my white guilt, however momentarily.
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post #70 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:57pm
This thread reminds me of my own semi-racist fast food story: This one time, I was at a Wendy's.
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post #71 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Hmmm...this has gotten me thinking.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken" -- Kentucky, a state founded by, and full of, white people.
"Popeye's" -- A white SAILOR.
"Roy Rogers" -- A fuckin cowboy...need I say more.

The whole goddamn fried chicken industry smacks of cultural imperialism and outright racism. I may never be able to enjoy a 3-piece dinner again.
You know I'm allergic to chicken, but you keep bringing it up. Where's your guilt over that, dickhead?
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post #72 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Hmmm...this has gotten me thinking.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken" -- Kentucky, a state founded by, and full of, white people.
"Popeye's" -- A white SAILOR.
"Roy Rogers" -- A fuckin cowboy...need I say more.

The whole goddamn fried chicken industry smacks of cultural imperialism and outright racism. I may never be able to enjoy a 3-piece dinner again.
You have hope:

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post #73 of 176
4/13/10 at 4:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Hmmm...this has gotten me thinking.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken" -- Kentucky, a state founded by, and full of, white people.
"Popeye's" -- A white SAILOR.
"Roy Rogers" -- A fuckin cowboy...need I say more.

The whole goddamn fried chicken industry smacks of cultural imperialism and outright racism. I may never be able to enjoy a 3-piece dinner again.
Great, you've just blown the cover on their plan to put aids in their nuggets!
Tracy Jordan was right!
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post #74 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jcassady View Post
You know I'm allergic to chicken, but you keep bringing it up. Where's your guilt over that, dickhead?
Fact: allergies are a plot by the Man to keep a brother down (also, Benadryl in business).
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post #75 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
You have hope:
*Dance* for your chicken!
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post #76 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:07pm
Years and years ago I met the grandfather of a friend of mine, he was a WW2 vet and among his issues with the Japanese flag shirt a friend of mine was wearing, he at some point felt the need to mention to me that black people really hate being patted on the head and that it should be avoided whenever possible. I've made certain to heed that advice and have never patted a black person on the head, even if they begged for a treat.

White guilt nothing! The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
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post #77 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:08pm
I also feel guilty every time I buy sunblock.
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post #78 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
Whenever I see an interracial couple in the store or on the street or wherever, I always think "hey, good for them!" I know nothing of their relationship or them as individuals but I still want to give them a high five and say "Yeah, right on, break those barriers!" Because I'm a white guy dating a white woman and I somehow fear that part of this is racism on my part.

I find white guilt to be fascinating and hysterical. White Chewers, what are some of your greatest moments of white guilt? Minority Chewers, what are some of the greater instances of white guilt you've encountered?
I think white people have alot to be guilty for. It doesn't mean that we should go around self flagellating over it and then go home to cry ourselves to sleep, but I do think it's important to remember our history, the good and the bad. Almost nothing in the world gets me as PO'd as when people downplay what happened to the Native Americans ETC.

PS re: interracial dating. I'm all for it but personally don't feel any sort of physical attraction to most races other than my own. I think it's just my biology.
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post #79 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Almost nothing in the world gets me as PO'd as when people downplay what happened to the Native Americans ETC.
Are you talking about the Indians?
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post #80 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
Years and years ago I met the grandfather of a friend of mine, he was a WW2 vet and among his issues with the Japanese flag shirt a friend of mine was wearing, he at some point felt the need to mention to me that black people really hate being patted on the head and that it should be avoided whenever possible. I've made certain to heed that advice and have never patted a black person on the head, even if they begged for a treat.
But, you do give us treats, right?

RIGHT?

....asshole.
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post #81 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Are you talking about the Indians?
I actually mostly call them Indians just because that's what they call themselves (the ones that I've met anyway). Yeah, it's a name that comes from a screw up on geography, but I think at this point it just is what it is.
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post #82 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
I actually mostly call them Indians just because that's what they call themselves (the ones that I've met anyway). Yeah, it's a name that comes from a screw up on geography, but I think at this point it just is what it is.
Right, but are you talking about the red Indians of North America, or the brown Indians from India?
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post #83 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
But, you do give us treats, right?

RIGHT?

....asshole.
Some people are always looking for handouts.
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post #84 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Right, but are you talking about the red Indians of North America, or the brown Indians from India?
Actually either or

I mean, anyone downplaying the Victorian Genocides in my presence will also get a talking to
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post #85 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post
Im south american, and you all just made me feel guilty...Im off to buy some Tyler Perry movies to atone.
South America isn't homogeneous too. Uruguay has more black people and I find it awkward saying "black" in Chile since it's considered offensive, while in Uruguay is even used as a kind term (among whites').

Mattioli are you stealing Tracy Morgan lines/routines? Shame on you.
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post #86 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Actually either or

I mean, anyone downplaying the Victorian Genocides in my presence will also get a talking to
Well, the feathers got the casinos and the dots got tech support. Seems like a fair trade to me.
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post #87 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feral Akodon View Post
Mattioli are you stealing Tracy Morgan lines/routines? Shame on you.
Oh, my God. Am I? Great! More guilt. Sigh, heavy is the head that can no longer eat the flesh tone crayon.
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post #88 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feral Akodon View Post
South America isn't homogeneous too. Uruguay has more black people and I find it awkward saying "black" in Chile since it's considered offensive, while in Uruguay is even used as a kind term (among whites').

Mattioli are you stealing Tracy Morgan lines/routines? Shame on you.
Feral, i know its offensive (although it is used sometimes like you describe in Uruguay), buts till, there's little alternative; I mean, we cant go around saying "Afroamericano" here, right?
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post #89 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:33pm
Patrick,

I've decided that you should start a blog entitled exactly this.

P.S. never change jake never.
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post #90 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Hmmm...this has gotten me thinking.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken" -- Kentucky, a state founded by, and full of, white people.
"Popeye's" -- A white SAILOR.
"Roy Rogers" -- A fuckin cowboy...need I say more.

The whole goddamn fried chicken industry smacks of cultural imperialism and outright racism. I may never be able to enjoy a 3-piece dinner again.
Bronx and Brooklynites get around that with their KFC knockoff chains, Kansas Fried Chicken and Kennedy Fried Chicken. I have yet to see one in Manhattan.
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post #91 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post
Well, the feathers got the casinos and the dots got tech support. Seems like a fair trade to me.
I know you are kidding, but for the record, no, it was not. The Indians at least have their own country but still, the Victorian Genocides killed more people than the Nazis did.
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post #92 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:39pm
Whenever I see a interracial couple I revel in our growing numbers. Usually with some sort of hand-wringing and cackling. On a bad day I might wonder if their kid will be as fucked up as I am.
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post #93 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:41pm
Oh man I'm totally taking Victorian Genocides (which I imagine as some chick supergroup with Tori Amos, Amanda Palmer, Emm Gryner, Karen O, and Amy Lee) on the road with Black Pope and Ben Foster Karate Explosion.
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post #94 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
Bronx and Brooklynites get around that with their KFC knockoff chains, Kansas Fried Chicken and Kennedy Fried Chicken. I have yet to see one in Manhattan.


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post #95 of 176
4/13/10 at 5:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
no hoarding is for Mexicans and white trash
Snap.
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post #96 of 176
4/13/10 at 6:02pm
A while back I was at work at the end of my break and talking to a very sexy black girl from another department, she told me her name was Kwandalesha or something or other and I told her, quite lamely and without a shred of truth, that I thought it was a very pretty name. Of course nothing happened, the situation and timing was such that I didn't have time to really push it and get her number, and since we were in different departments on different schedules I saw her maybe only one other time two months later, and even then only for a second so and from a distance.

For the first time in my life I told a bold-faced lie in an attempt to get laid, and for a black girl to boot. I am the progressive movement.
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post #97 of 176
4/13/10 at 6:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan Bean View Post
This thread reminds me of my own semi-racist fast food story: This one time, I was at a Wendy's.
No one cares about Gingers. Your guilt has been absolved.
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post #98 of 176
4/13/10 at 6:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Fact: allergies are a plot by the Man to keep a brother down (also, Benadryl in business).
An African friend of mine told me he thinks that allergies are made up. Kind of hard to argue with an African about that. I've definitely never heard of anyone in Africa complaining about their hay fever acting up.
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post #99 of 176
4/13/10 at 6:07pm
On the subject of the fanciful names that certain ethnicities bestow on their children: I am glad I have a biblical name. That's all I'm going to say. There is something unwholesome about a name that your parent just made up out of the blue. I'm not just talking about african americans doing it either. If you're white and name your child "Cailean" or something, you deserve a steep fine.
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post #100 of 176
4/13/10 at 6:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
On the subject of the fanciful names that certain ethnicities bestow on their children: I am glad I have a biblical name. That's all I'm going to say. There is something unwholesome about a name that your parent just made up out of the blue. I'm not just talking about african americans doing it either. If you're white and name your child "Cailean" or something, you deserve a steep fine.
Now I completely regret posting that story.
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