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The Funniest Thing I Heard Today - Page 2

post #51 of 59
7/2/10 at 2:51am
After dinner out at a restaurant my 4 year old is getting in the car as I'm talking to a friend....

Friend: "Hey Matt..."
4 Year Old Clone: "Would you stop calling my Dad Matt!"

He was genuinely upset. It apparently hadn't occurred to him yet that I had any nomenclature beyond Dad.
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post #52 of 59
7/9/10 at 1:14pm
Thread Starter 
A very dear, if misguided, lady in my office, explaining a plot point in Twilight:
Quote:
And Edward fell for Bella because her blood was just so... sweet!!!"
It wasn't necessarily what she said, but how she said it. It was as if, in her mind, this was the most beautiful, miraculous romantic moment EVER. Needless to say, I almost fell off my chair in laughter.
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post #53 of 59
7/9/10 at 1:23pm
:olarbear facepalm:: Blood is salty and tastes like copper. Twilight is ruining vampires AND hemoglobin!!

PS I have come up with an alternate creature for tweens to be interested in, and it's pretty fool proof. For all the reasons they like TWILIGHT, they should be down with my concept. I don't want to derail, so just point me in the direction of the thread where I can share my idea
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post #54 of 59
7/9/10 at 2:01pm
Here you go Kate:
http://chud.com/forum/showthread.php?t=124319
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post #55 of 59
7/9/10 at 2:03pm
"It's Facebook, not a Ouija board."

Edit: Said by me. Usually the funniest thing I hear all day comes from me. It's lonely at the top.
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post #56 of 59
7/12/10 at 5:32pm
Email exchange between me and a friend:

Friend: Do you happen to have or know where I can get a free font that approximates (or matches) the font on the Psycho movie poster (sans cracks)?

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Me: (link to appropriate font)

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Friend: Great! Thanks!

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Me: Whatcha makin'?

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Friend: An invitation to my Mom’s 70th birthday party.
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post #57 of 59
7/12/10 at 5:46pm
"Amnesty (for illegal immigrants) is the biggest 'get out the vote' campaign for the Democrats in history." - Rush Limbaugh
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post #58 of 59
7/12/10 at 6:02pm
This may require some setup. So when I went to wal mart to pick up Avatar on blu ray I heard behind me "avata? Fuck dat movie be rasicst". Then when picking up a prescription there was some new 3D toothpaste, I heard the same guy "fuck dey got tootpaste in 3D! Soon everyting will be 3D"
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post #59 of 59
7/12/10 at 6:04pm
"Yeti fantasy romance will be the best selling genre of young adult lit a few years down the line, mark my words."
Said by Princess Kate in the "We Need New Monsters" thread.
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