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PIRANHA 3D-Post Release Thread - Page 6

post #251 of 296
I was actually disappointed we didn't get more come-uppance for his character. Something extra graphic.
post #252 of 296
Yeah. I actually had to strain my brain to remember exactly what happened to him. That dog won't hunt, monsignor... that dog won't hunt...
post #253 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
Now for my next trick... I whine about why the douchey boyfriend that tried to save himself on a jetski had to die!
He was on a boat, not a jetski. You need to watch the movie again, clearly.

Adam Scott was on the jetski helping people.
post #254 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoolong View Post
You need to watch the movie again, clearly.
MAYBE I WILL, MISTER!

(but it's not that scene I'll be watching closely...)
post #255 of 296
On a second viewing, I saw absolutely nothing happen to him after he fell in the water. The unrated cut of this thing probably buttons a lot of stuff up, but, alas, won't be in 3D.
post #256 of 296
Did you get a better sense of why Ving Rhames died on a second viewing?
post #257 of 296
Nope, I suspect that will never make sense. But maybe Dina Meyer has, I dunno, a close-up without a scuba mask on in the longer cut.
post #258 of 296
Pooooor Dina Meyer. The only reason I even noticed her was because someone on the thread mentioned that he didn't remember seeing her.
post #259 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Z View Post
Only that it wasn't...

It was plodding shoe leather of the highest order:

The teen son's misadventures in trying to get laid.

The little kids straying to set up some lame "Will they or won't they get killed?" suspense which we know will go nowhere.

The obligatory discovery of the piranha lair, only so we can get a live specimen to get to the obligatory backstory of the threat.

Beating us over the head with the Jerry O'Connell character: Yes, we get it..he's jaded, vulgar, and sleazy.

The first hour of this film is so laborious. I'm glad the 5 minutes of tits onscreen held you over, but I was expecting more.
I couldn't help myself to post this before reading ahead but you sound exactly like the FILM CRITIC that gets eaten by Piranhas in Piranhas 3D2.
post #260 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
Pooooor Dina Meyer. The only reason I even noticed her was because someone on the thread mentioned that he didn't remember seeing her.
When I saw her name pop up during the opening credits, I got all excited. I thought she'd show some tits too; it's not like she's never done that before (I love you STARSHIP TROOPERS). But, then I got said when she barely rated any lines and gets dead without showing any skin.

See my sad face.
post #261 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTSMGL
Ripoll seems so against the idea that Piranha 3D might actually, *gasp*, have some subtext that it seems like he'd even be against the idea that under ALL the ideas Inception offers (on the face and beyond), it also serves up the whole filmmaking/makers angle and metaphor. And I say that as somebody who hasn't read a single word of what Ripoll thinks of Inception. Like I said, stump's observations actually made me exclaim a little "hunh!" of realization. It makes sense, and falls perfectly in line with what we see on the screen.
The commentary that Inception and Piranha offer on the nature of cinema and filmmaking are completely separate. Inception is an action piece based on characters informed by the filmmaking process. Piranha is a (sorry) meta, or self-aware piece criticizing the nature of teen/20-something garbage entertainment and all other related sex driven industries, if you will. And it's intensely entertaining with tits and gore, as it has to be in order to prove its point. I mean, there's lots of haters out there, but it's no surprise to me that Eli Roth shows up in this.

I stand by my earlier statements on Piranha.
post #262 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by stump View Post
I couldn't help myself to post this before reading ahead but you sound exactly like the FILM CRITIC that gets eaten by Piranhas in Piranhas 3D2.
Or M. Night Shyamaja's Piranha in the Water.
post #263 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Z View Post
No offense taken. Trust me, I would be more alarmed if we all agreed on every single film.

It's strange how certain films, even when you can see that they are loaded for your respective bear, just hit you the wrong way.

I mean, by all rights, I should be with you, Phil, and the majority in loving this, as it does have, on the surface, a lot of what I seek in these affairs.

Unfortunately, it just didn't work for me, for whatever multitude of reasons. I can totally see why it would work for others, and I am almost perplexed as to why it didn't click with me, but that's just the way it goes.

Hopefully, when I revisit it down the line, it'll connect with me. Until then, you can be assured that I'll still be there opening night for the (no it's not just a marketing bluff!) sequel.
Man, this, this, a thousand times this. I think half my annoyance with this movie is just projection because I can't figure out why it wasn't doing much for me. Part of the problem was a crap experience (small, quite crowd, except two old women having a running conversation at full volume), but I think the recipe analogy was perfect, as I loved most of the ingredients, just not the final product.

My one concrete gripe though was the 3D, which was shit. Which would be fine, if it didn't tack an extra 5-6 bucks on the ticket price. Gonna wait to see whether they give the sequel the legit 3D treatment before I hit the midnight opening.
post #264 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoolong View Post
She was very sexualized and showed the titties. Ergo, she had to die according to horror movie guidelines.

I don't make the rules.

However, if there is a sequel, maybe she happens to have a twin sister.
And her twin sister has a romance with Elizabeth Shue's character.
post #265 of 296
post #266 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
Did you get a better sense of why Ving Rhames died on a second viewing?
I *Think* the idea as scripted was that he stands in the water and starts to take them down, the ones that get through slowly start to eat him from the legs up, cue Rhames comically getting shorter and shorter. However the film is so muddled during that sequence that it's not clear how it goes down, but that's my best guess.

And yeah, the Douchey boyfriend doesn't get his commupance. In fact nothing happens to those people who toss his boat over. They just all start to climb on and he swims away. Then the film cuts to something else.

Still, at least without an onscreen death we get Paul Scheer back for the sequel.
post #267 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Z View Post
Couldn't it be argued that a ton of Avatar was "post converted" to 3D, since lots and lots of it never originated in a camera of any kind? I guess that'd be true of Up or whatever animated movies as well, but still.
post #268 of 296
Cameron did use a virtual handheld camera for those all-CG shots, if that counts as a 'camera of any kind.' Hehehe.
post #269 of 296
Saw this last night and everybody in the theater loved it! And by everybody I mean me, because I was the only person there.

Various thoughts:
  • You know the movie knows what it's doing when the first thing someone says to Kelly Brook is "Nice boobs."

  • Talent/charisma does not run in the McQueen family genes. Wanted Jake to bite it, bad. Sure, the character is written lame, but the dude should have added something to it.

  • It's an interesting mixture of surprise, joy, and shame, recognizing the various porn stars amidst the proceedings.

  • Brook and Steele can hold their breath for a really, really long time. And god bless 'em for it.

  • Best moment in the film for me was the chick being carried to shore who gets pulled apart. She gives this amazing "What the fuck!?" look/gesture.

  • Loved Jake desperately trying to find/yelling for his lady friend on the tiny boat. In which she's directly in front of him.

  • Adam Scott is hilariously deadpan/flat when they're trying to rescue the kids. Shue: "How do we get past the rocks?" Scott: "I 'unno."

  • That little boy should have died. I really thought that was the only reason for his existence. The little sister was enough on her own for the "we have to go after my sibling" stuff. Boy should have just been fodder. Girl gets to live due to the awesome defining trait of "aspiring trombone rock star."

  • Seriously, sacrifice that kid so Kelly Brook could live!
post #270 of 296
Don't forget that great gag scene with the girl's hair (and face) gets torn off by motorboat propeller. Props to KNB on all the great gore FX.

Bring on the sequel! (and the breasts plz)
post #271 of 296
I watched Piranha 3D on a regular 2D screen this evening, and I loved every minute of it! The gore is definitely not for the squeamish, and it goes without saying that I enjoyed the tit shots. Like others have said, they might as well go ahead and give Jerry O' Connell the Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Too bad the underwater lesbian scene couldn't have been more graphic.
post #272 of 296
This movie kills like few I've seen with a big and mostly unaware audience. Seriously. Greek audiences are pretty tame when it comes to this but they were awesomely wild in Piranha and it added a lot to the experience. From the nervous laughter of surprised guys in front of their dates at the gratuitous T&A on display to shrieks at the gore and the jump scares to a girl behind me completely freaking out at the little sister's feet underwater scene, everything had me stroking my beard and whispering "Yes, yes" in a knowing tone.

Aja really delivered at what I presume the movie's intent was. And continues to be a director (Mirrors excluded) whose involvement with horror will always make me stand up and notice.
post #273 of 296
I loved every lady in the audience just getting angrier and angrier throughout the first half cuz they didn't expect all the tits and general softcore porn.
post #274 of 296
When is this coming out for DVD? I wish I was able to catch it when it was in theatre.
post #275 of 296
Did they really have to kill off Kelly Brooks? I would've much prefered they wasted Champaign puking Gossip Girl Girlfriend instead.
post #276 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix View Post
Did they really have to kill off Kelly Brooks? I would've much prefered they wasted Champaign puking Gossip Girl Girlfriend instead.
Damn right. Kelly Brook was too nice and pretty to die.
post #277 of 296
Also, Dina Meyer gets killed in a lot of films, does she? Just an observation.

The Motorboat kill was my favourite.
post #278 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Travers View Post
"...Think Jersey Shore with underwater cannibalism."
It's not cannibalism when fish eat humans. Pat Travers is an idiot, and I can't believe they are using such an erroneous quote to promote the DVD release.

http://www.dvdactive.com/news/releases/piranha.html

Rant over.
post #279 of 296
The fish survived down there by eating each other, so there's that...
post #280 of 296

I caught the movie on DVD and just didn't like it. Didn't hate it but it was basically a really amusing underwater lesbian romp and a failry-cool CGI spring break piranha attack packaged in a movie I just couldn't care about. It felt exactly like Friday the 13th remake all over again. Blood, boobs, winks at the camera, characters who are tremendous douches for long periods of time so the audience will cheer when they finally get theirs. They even both have the somewhat kind-hearted female who gets taken out in the last act.

 

A lot of reviews I read were very appreciative of the tone of the film and how well Aja and his cast nailed it but I didn't recognize that at all. It was an underwater Final Destination movie with a better cast and equally-unimpressive CG-looking mayhem. This didn't feel like "the return to the 70's and 80's horror films we love" pitch we got from the promotion. I was hoping for something along the lines of Dante's original in terms of tone. Even better examples might be Return Of The Living Dead or Chuck Russell's The Blob remake. Those films are very wild and over-the-top but they created a universe where I actually gave a shit about the characters while still being both fun and occasionally scary. This new Piranha never does that for me. There's some pretty interesting visual stuff going on but there's no emotional depth to the material at all. Yes, there's lots of gore and eye candy but it all plays like the cinematic equivalent of an "Applause" sign at a sitcom taping. I love a fun piece of crap just as much as the next movie-goer but there has to be something compelling to hook me in. I grew up on creature features so this should have been an easy pass in my book but sadly, all I see is missed opportunities. Even with minimal screen time, the right script really could have gotten a lot more out of Christopher Lloyd's character.


 

Quote:
 

 

post #281 of 296

Thank Christ, it was lonely being the only person (or one of the very few) on CHUD that strongly disliked this film.

post #282 of 296

I didn't strongly dislike it. I didn't strongly like it either. To me it was a big missed opportunity; happy that they made the attempt, but it didn't stick the landing. Not even close. Its delirious reception around these parts suggests there's a serious lack of quality films, even quality trash. So when something comes out that has its mouth wide open for exploitation fans' dicks, like this or Grindhouse, many react as though they're getting a first-class hummer when they're just getting it sporadically licked with a condom on.

 

You say that Piranha 3D has fatal script problems and people laugh at you, as if exploitation or horror = shitty script. No, sir. If nothing else this flick made me miss Roger Corman more than ever. He started the original Piranha with what by all accounts was a shitty Jaws rip-off script. He handed it off to John Sayles for a rewrite. He hired Joe Dante to direct it. He said "Here's the money, give me something I can sell to the drive-ins, otherwise do what you want." The result fucking clowns Piranha 3D so, so hard.

 

First came the word, gentlemen. Sayles may have been jerking off those Corman scripts to pay the rent while trying to break through as a novelist, but he understood story structure and character. Piranha 3D, as I've said elsewhere in this thread, was written by the same clown shoes who wrote the Sorority Row remake.

post #283 of 296

I couldn't disagree with a single one of your points.  But I can't deny how much fun I had with the movie.  It's not something I'd be itching to revisit though.  

post #284 of 296

There's some serious rose tinted glasses wearing in this thread, with regards to some old horror films. I still prefer the original Piranha to this but you're acting as if Corman deliberately assembled some sort of dream team for it. Let me give you a hint. He didn't. They were both absolute nobodies when Piranha got made. Therefore cheap. Therefore Corman hired them. Gremlins and Lone Star don't rectroactively provide Piranha with pedigree.

post #285 of 296

To me, it isn't that Corman actively sought to produce a movie of quality.  That's actually kind of beside the point.  But he was trying to latch onto something hugely successful that was actually very good (JAWS).  And since the big boys were focusing on story and character, these cheap movies tried to incorporate those as well.  Badly perhaps, but at least they made an attempt within their means.

 

Now, since shitty genre storytelling is accepted as the norm and these horror movies trying to homage the "spirit" in which the original was made, there is just a general dip in "quality" whether it's in a qualitative sense or in a purely subjective sense.  These movies don't really even have to half-ass an attempt at a narrative anymore.  With the fantastic gore fx work and boobs to distract audiences (they certainly distracted me!), why should they bother? 

 

So much cynicism.  I think I can somewhat empathize with Martin's sentiments.  But as I said, I enjoyed this movie too much.

post #286 of 296

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Corman cared about the movie being done on time and on budget. And his caring actually ended there. And it's this freedom that gave the chance for a happy accident to happen once in a while.

post #287 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

There's some serious rose tinted glasses wearing in this thread, with regards to some old horror films. I still prefer the original Piranha to this but you're acting as if Corman deliberately assembled some sort of dream team for it. Let me give you a hint. He didn't. They were both absolute nobodies when Piranha got made. Therefore cheap. Therefore Corman hired them. Gremlins and Lone Star don't rectroactively provide Piranha with pedigree.


No, but Corman could certainly spot talent. Not every film he produced bore the nascent talent of a future Scorsese or Coppola; not even Piranha. But it's not too far off to say that he recognized that Dante was a passionate film geek/filmmaker (he wasn't a nobody; at that point he had co-directed Hollywood Boulevard and worked on a ton of Corman films/trailers) and that Sayles was a good writer (he wasn't a nobody; at that point he had published two novels). But my point isn't that Corman "assembled some sort of dream team." It's that he picked filmmakers who knew how to tell a fucking story — I don't recall anyone saying about Piranha "Gee, it seems like there should be a third act here," as even Piranha 3D's fans have said — and whoever produced Piranha 3D didn't.

post #288 of 296
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Corman cared about the movie being done on time and on budget. And his caring actually ended there. And it's this freedom that gave the chance for a happy accident to happen once in a while.



You're definitely part right, but I believe Corman genuinely cared about some of his productions and filmmakers. His cheapo rip-offs are almost always better than the rest, and he introduced a lot of good Italian horror to America. And all his now famous hirees really love the guy. And he also directed some beautiful movies himself.

post #289 of 296

Bringing this back to the remake, nobody's going to tell me Aja "doesn't care" about his movies. I'm all for blaming the producers on a missing third act, but Corman is merely the obvious comparison point here for vintage schlock, definitely not the only one.

post #290 of 296

While this was admittedly pretty dumb, and it just sort of.. ends, I have to say that I enjoyed the heck out of it. It was mean spirited, funny, and when time came Aja more than delivered on the gore. It also managed to surprise me in that Jerry O'Connell managed to be funnier than Christopher Loyd. Didn't see that one coming

 

While I am generally annoyed that it was being touted as a 3D film, given the fact it's actually a 2D movie, this was still one of the more enjoyable movies I've rented in the past few months. I'll call it a success, and state my eagerness for whatever Aja tackles next (fingers crossed: Mirrors 3)

 

PS I'd somehow managed to forget about the Dreyfus cameo, so that it actually took me by surprise when I saw it. It gave me some minor but genuine LOLs

   
post #291 of 296

"They took my penis!" is the line of the decade. Not "ate" or "bit off", but "took". Conjurs up conspiritorial abduction. You'd almost expect to see a ransom note.

 

This flick is perfect junk food. I hooted and hollered... all by myself in the living room.

 

Kelly Brook is a dream. I'm already fancasting her in unannounced remakes. Starcrash. Lifeforce. I was honestly sad when she was eaten. Not gleeful like the other deaths. My glee for her was directed at that underwater scene. Pure cinema that.

 

Bring on the sequel!!!

post #292 of 296

Wet... T-shirt...

 

wet... t-shirt...

 

I was also sad when Kelly Brook died.

post #293 of 296

I was also a sad panda when Kelly Brook died in Piranha 3D. frown.gif 

post #294 of 296

Not quite as strong on the second outing. The special fx are pretty bad on the small screen, although the makeup is still incredible.

 

Not much in the way of characters, but they actors are obviously having a good time. What bothered me about the movie was the lack of geography or ticking clock when it came to the piranhas. We see where they escape, but unlike the original when it was clear they were moving down river towards the ocean there's no indication of where they are heading here. Everywhere, apparently, which should create a sense of dread but instead leads to several false scares. There are no rules or goals established, and no impending doom until Jerry O'Connell's boat starts sinking. That's handled well, but otherwise we see a lot of random people dying that wouldn't be dying if they stepped out of the water. The original's threat of them reaching the ocean and spreading had much more tension.

 

Still, boobs and Lloyd, I can't totally fault that.

post #295 of 296
post #296 of 296

Tried giving this another spin the other night. It still just plain doesn't work. It's just far too obvious in every way for me. It's like "Here's some blood. And some boobs. And a bunch of funny lines we think are witty."

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