TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA REBOOT: HEROES IN A HALF-ASS

I suppose it's about expectation but i was seriously surprised by TMNT.

This is EXACTLY what will happen.

Christina Hendricks as April O'Neil (though Bay will no doubt cast younger).

"The younger, the tighter..." - Michael Bay

Wonder which Victoria Secret model he'll get this time?


BTW, Gordon-Levitt for Casey Jones.

You think they're going to add Venus de Milo?

They did it in Transformers!

You shut your filthy mouth!

Edit: I forgot they gave her turtle boobs. Just so the kids know she's a she. They could have just made her color hot-pink.

I have a hard time seeing this make a lot of money. It will earn but not nearly as much as Paramount and Platinum Dunes will (already has by scooping it up for 60 million) in making it and promoting it.

I have nothing against the property accept that outside of the original live action film it was pretty much awful.

This is something that can go so very wrong fast. Also Michael Bay hasn't shown he's got a magic touch with producing.

True that. I know there's nostalgic love of the cartoon, but I don't see this drawing a large audience. At least with Transformers you had a bunch of giant robots blowing shit up.

Unless the turtles get really ninja, it's hard to imagine this being all that impressive.

Yup. Bay as a producer never seems to come with anything worth my while. I guess if I can give a pass on anything, it would be that first Chainsaw remake, if for nothing more than those wonderfully divine shots of Miss Jessica Biel. But what little goodwill that movie generated was pretty much buried by that shitty prequel. Platinum Dunes just depresses me as a filmmaking entity. Nearly everyone of their movies has that "Hey, guys! We just spent millions on the property so we might as well make a movie ASAP" vibe to it. Enough with the remakes for remakes sake.

I'm sure they'll only have an early draft by October... 2012 sounds like plenty time.

Don't get me started on Platinum Dunes that production company is a train wreck of epic proportions.

I dare anyone to check this sheet of films http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/pla...unes/films.php and tell me how any of these films will endure the test of time or were that successful. I exclude and include Nispel's films because they had quality but still did nothing to put a bigger stamp on those properties than what was already done.

I am all for a new...Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. I love the original and TMNT (07). The Turtles in Japan, should have been awesome, but wasn't.

This bothers me to no end. I think that the TMNT crew (Splinter, Shredder, April, Baxter Stockman*) could well be poised to take the cinema world by storm. I think it's one of the best American franchises ever created, and you'd have to be daft not to see the potential for a blockbuster. However....

I don't think Bay is the guy to do it. With all due respect to his fans, what the TMNT series really needs is an auteur like Christopher Nolan to achieve the full potential of the concept. You need someone dedicated to achieving the turtle effects practically, with people in suits. The suit effects from the original films stand up remarkably well today, and I'm excited by the possibilities of what more can be achieved with the proper application of a subtle blending of CGI and suit.



The Turtle films (especially in the wake of the BP oil spill) have the potential to be the next DARK KNIGHT sized hit if they play their cards right... I just hope Bay doesn't ruin it. I doubt he understands anything about what makes the turtles special


*who was named after a building that I used to eat lunch in all the time. Peter Laird, the genius behind the series, comes from North Adams Massachusetts, a fact that always astounded me growing up

I hope the turtles are practical and I hope it's bloody. Yeah, I know the cartoon's for kids, but the original comics I grew up on were bloody, so there. :P

With that said, I'm sure the turtles will be CG and it will be rated PG.

Middle ground maybe? PG-13 with CG faces on practical suits (ala WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE)?

Also, I'd like to see more classic characters in this. Rat King, Baxter & Mousers, etc.

EDIT: Nolan, PK? C'mon...

While I don't know about tossing this to Platinum Dunes to churn out, I actually think Bay himself has the right sensibility for the property. The first Transformers hits pretty much the exact tone that would work for the turtles: goofy action/adventure.

Granted, the turtles were my beloved franchise growing up, but I think, more than a lot of kiddie fare, they hold up pretty well. It's the sense of humor that makes them work. This has never been a property that took itself seriously at all (even the original "grittier" comics being the most ridiculous send up of Frank Miller fare the creators could think up).

True, it's not like we need another turtles flick. The first still holds up pretty damn well and I even thought the cgi movie had its moments (that awesome Leo/Raph rain fight), but if handled right, this could have potential.

I felt the first film was a pretty good mixture of the original comics and the cartoon series.
As Dark said, I'll love for this to be practical and bloody sadly it wont happen. I'll be made on the cheap, written and shot way too fast and full of cheap gags. Then the studio will wonder why it failed at the box office.

Well Nolan was just the first name that came to mind, but I think you need someone who can present the rather 'out there' concept with a straight face. Someone who can effortlessly switch between horror* (these are tragic, mutated turtles we're talking about, innocent creatures corrupted beyond all recognition by our toxic waste), the grime (the live in the sewer) and the action/heroism (even though they have been mutated due to our carelessness, they still fight to defend us!)


To me, that says Chris Nolan. I guess there are other filmmakers that could work, but I think someone who is primarily not just an "action" or "comic book" director is key to making the project succeed.

PS I am right there with you about going the WTWTA rout with the effects, you might notice that I called for a subtle blending of the cgi and practical suit elements to achieve a seamless effect

*think how Nolan depicted Wayan's first night out as Batman in BATMAN BEGINS, the turtles should be shown the same way at first

Personally? I think we need one now more than ever.



That isn't an image from a TMNT flick, it's the real world. Forget the ooze, now it's BP's "chemical dispersants" that are poisoning America's terrapins. I for one can't wait to see the turtles fight back


PS I liked elements of the CGI movie but overall it seemed weird that it focused on fantasy elements for the main threat

I'll grant you that the story in the cgi flick was piss-poor, but the turtles dealt with other-dimensional beings all the time. Like all the time, so it really wasn't that out of place.

And while I think you're taking the whole concept much too seriously, I had a nice laugh imagining a TMNT vs BP movie. I would totally go see that film. So thank you for that.

Darkmite8, You are right...The Rat King would be very cool! Shredder, is definitely my fave villain of the...TMNT. I did like the addition of his daughter Karai, in the cgi animated film. Father and Daughter menacing the Turtles would be even more fun.

I know, I used to watch the TV show, but all the same I much prefer when they deal with down to earth threats, like The Foot, or pollution, ETC
Well, I think the TMNT are among the best comic book characters ever created (I'd put them up there with Superman and Batman, no joke), so I hope you can understand why I'm offended by the prospect of a Michael Bay (quick, cheap and dumb) adaptation. It's not just that the movie could be bad, it's that it could do serious damage to the franchise (like BATMAN AND ROBIN in the case of BATMAN). I take the Turtles seriously, but I'd disagree with the idea that I take them too seriously when compared to how other fanbases react to the news of feature films based on their favorite characters

The 2003 animated series was much better than it should've been, and the CG movie was pretty good too (and did decent at the box office). It would work best geared towards smart kids, maybe 10 and up. They could really do a lot with the martial arts angle (something those live action movies never quite pulled off). Bay's Transformers work seems to be geared towards stupid 13 year olds. Best case scenario would be someone like Miike or Kitumura brought on, or maybe one of these Thai directors that keep churning out better than average fluff.

God I miss the 80s and very early 90s when it came to kids films. They didn't mind putting some themes in them.

Growing up as a Ninja Turtles fan (it was the first thing I learned to draw well), its impossible to appease both fans (the die hard violence and the kids). That said, the original film was the only one to be able to mix both the cartoon and original comics the best.

Sadly also, due to marketing, the Turtles only seem to have 1 A+ villain, the Shredder. So any film without him seems to bomb, although in the comics they killed him off pretty fast. Ideal would be a sequel to the original film in the vein of Superman Returns. The new TV show was able to imply the violence pretty well, so it could be kept in there. CG faces with practical suits would be nice. If they're thinking franchise, the first film really needs to set up Baxter and the Rat King pretty well.

Oddly I think the source material itself is flawed when the fantasy elements start going out the window (extra dimensional stuff). Yeah we're dealing with mutant turtles, but they were great characters to use with teen elements of responsibility and isolation. Yes even better than X-men, because at least a Marvel Mutant could pass off for being human (well at least most of them), but these guys are isolated and alone, but they still choose to fight and all they have is each other, which further solidifies their brotherhood.

Deborah Ann Woll for April.

Michael you can thank me later.

(I really need to stop fancasting her every time the property calls for a red head.)

Not to pick on you, but what kids' films of that era do you miss, and what modern equivalents don't have themes? Looking back on my childhood there are very few kids movies that don't completely suck. The first TMNT still stands up, as does...um...hmmm....An American Tale?

Well the first TMNT (which had sequels crapped on), Honey I Shrunk the Kids, The Goonies, Star Wars: ESB and RotJ, Ghostbusters, and the Karate Kid.

I admit though Pixar has been bringing the goods I'm probably blinded by nostalgia.

I just don't think any studio these days would try to take the time to make a film and not worry about the toys. They appeal to the kids, and not make films an adult could enjoy.

But Bay is unlikley to direct this himself. The next Transformers will keep him busy for awhile. In terms of his track record as a producer trying to breathe new life into some of these properties that Platinum Dunes has picked up, it doesn't leave me with much optimistim. I'm not against recreating, remaking, rebooting, or whatever you want to call it. I do however have an issue with just scooping up some name franchise and handing it over to whatever music video director desperately needs to jump to features so you can make a quick buck. It doesn't leave me morally outraged, just dissapointed.

I know, right?



I kinda want them to go crazy. I wanna see a live-action Krang!

Speaking of, holy crap do i want one of these shirts...

Well, at least Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors are still safe.

KRANG wear? Now that's something you don't see every day. Way too yellow for my liking but still pretty cool.

You could always opt for somthing more subtle.

Lame-asses bitch about how models never look like real people, but I can't imagine ever wearing that Krang hoody after seeing that goob in the pic wearing it. The power of advertising.

Where in the name of all that is good can I buy one of these?

http://www.80stees.com/products/Krang-TMNT-Hoodie.asp
http://www.80stees.com/products/Krang-TMNT-T-shirt.asp
http://www.bustedtees.com/Krang
http://www.stylinonline.com/t-shirt-...les-krang.html
http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Pop...irt-232847.jsp

The Shredder hoodie is ridiculous.

Do tell how you're qualified to pronounce something as having "the best comic book characters ever created".

Also, you seriously think a TMNT movie is going to make people care about oil spills and the environment?

Sorry, that was a typo

Also, that hoodie is awesome! I'd never have the guts to wear it though

It's just an opinion, and what qualifies me to have it is the fact I'm alive

Also, I said that they were among the best, citing Batman and Superman as well.

Also, no, I think that people already care about the oil spill and that this could lead to massive box office potential for a TMNT film, given the fact it would play off very real fears that the audience no doubt has (just like how our post 9/11 anxieties helped The Joker and THE DARK KNIGHT capture the public's imagination)

In a world where every day we see tragic images of turtles adn other sea creatures covered in toxic muck, a film about turtles mutating and fighting back could do really well IMHO

Yeah let's make Shredder an evil CEO by day funding Baxter and a bladed ninja by night.

Actually the secret of the ooze for the 2nd movie was supposed to be revealed to be extra worldly when Prof Perry was going to be revealed as an uptrom.

I never suggested that it should be that on the nose. Did the Joker practice Islam? No, but TDK still used the character to cleverly grapple with real world themes and fears, to the point where Batman's handling of the Joker situation became a matter of serious debate in the 2008 election

And, I think the secret of the ooze was that they could have made a non toxic ooze but opted to save money by going with the lower cost ooze with mutagenic side effects. Unlucky rats and turtles were considered externalities

In someone else's hands I could easily see TMNT getting environmentally topical, but keep in mind PK, we're talking about Michael Bay, not James Cameron. Bay doesn't really strike me as someone with a liberal axe to grind.

You're right, I guess that's why I was kind of lamenting the missed opportunity that Bay's hiring represents. It shows that the studio underestimates the potential of the franchise. Oh well.

Not long after I suggested Hendricks I realized that Karen Gillan would do nicely (if she can do an American accent. Hell, even if she can't).

Show me where it says April can't be British or Scottish or whatever she is.

Clearly she and Woll should duel to decide who gets to play April. Tickets will be sold. Shredder can MC the event.

This is just crazy fan casting, but I was watching THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW last night (she was in Baghdad all week), and it occurred to me that she would make a killer April O'Neil. She's really funny, so she would have good interplay with the various turtles, but she's also credible as a reporter and a voice for the environment. It would be kind of similar to the casting of James Carville as a politician in THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD. I don't know if she can act or not, but if she can I think it would be sort of cool. With that said, I'm sure Michael Bay would never go for it.

EDIT: you know what? I bet she can act. To be able to read jokes and dialog off a prompter and make it seem spontaneous and fresh is quite a skill.

EDIT: While I still have my fan-casting hat on, I'm going to fill out the rest of the cast (BTW, I think that the suit preformers and voice actors can be seperate people, I'm listing my VO choices here)

Donatello: CAMPBELL SCOTT (though he could make a great Leo too, but I assume the studio would want to go with a bigger name for the lead turtle)
Leonardo: COLIN FARRELL
MICHELANGELO: TOBY MACGUIRE (In BROTHERS he showed me that he has greater range than I'd initially have thought, and I bet he could do a really hilarious Mike if someone gave him the chance)

My ideal choice for Raphael is CHRISTIAN BALE but I doubt he'd go for it, so my back up choice would be EDWARD NORTON (though to be perfectly honest, I think Farrell could make a compelling Ralph as well)

Splinter would be voiced by Michael Caine (he could be an English rodent that got off a ship in Shanghai back in the 1920s or something!)

And of course Ken Watanabe would be The Shredder

I've always preferred unknowns for the turtles voices. I'd hate to think of Ryan Reynolds when Mikey cracks a joke. If Pat Morita was still around, I'd love to see him as Splinter, but I think anyone with some flem can pull off the voice.

I guess Densel Washington should play Baxter?

I have a new mental image of Princess Kate.

Morita was my first choice for Splinter too, but then I realized that his death would prevent that

And I hear what you're saying about unknowns, but I think if it's going to be a tent pole picture it needs stars, and I also am not sure I'd want to trust unknowns to voice the turtles quite frankly. I can picture how Campbell Scott as Don sounds in my head, or Rachel Maddow as April, and it's perfect
I think that Garrett Dillahunt would make a great Baxter Stockman

I'm a fan, but not a super fan. I own a minimum amount of TMNT swag. The turtles don't show up in my day to day thoughts unless something like this article happens.

EDIT: Though I have a giant foot tall sized Mike figure/doll and I think I used to own a Leo one as well (picked them up at an antique store a few years back, actually).

With the rushed schedule and it being a platnum dunes production, expect a CW star at most. That said, Erica Durance as April.

If we're going with dead peeps I'll take Mako.

That video is amazing. The level of gleeful abandon she has almost makes me not pity her.

Well, Maddow might actually prefer an abbreviated shooting schedule. She still has her MSNBC duties and wouldn't be able to take 3 months off to film a movie. A few weeks here and there, or alot of day time shooting might be perfect for her. She no longer has her radio show so that frees up a good chunk of her day if you were to plan carefully. Just a thought