MOVIE OF THE DAY: EXPENDABLES, THE

Perhaps a little harsh, but I don't necessarily disagree with any of it. The chemistry between these guys was beyond awful.

Pretty great write-up though. Its been said before, but nobody writes a pan like Devin. I'm going to miss them most of all.

This is perhaps the most I've ever agreed with you about a movie, Devin. Your point about the lack of distinction between actors was especially well made. It wasn't bad enough to not finish, but it's probably about as close as a movie can get to that without actually crossing the line.

Giselle Itie = "least attractive female lead in years?" Man, I can't reconcile with that sentiment AT ALL.

Unless, of course, Devin was referring to Jet Li.

I did enjoy the laugh I got from reading this, but it seems odd to give any type of critical thought to a film that clearly had none put into it. It's meant only to feed the testosterone craving.

When anyone asks me what I though of The Expendables, I tell them to watch A-Team instead.

Pop Zeus, I recommend...The Expendables and The A-Team, as they are both great films! The only weakness in...The Expendables, is that, it ends!

Devin sums up my thoughts on the film pretty much to the letter. I don't think it's harsh at all - if anything he's too kind in saying it's not terrible, because no matter how I try and justify that damn movie, I just come right back around to "God, that was terrible. Such a wasted opportunity."

I can understand liking this movie, but anyone who begrudges someone for recognizing that it is a shitpile and tries to angrily argue its merits as even a brainless action film is a complete fucking moron.

I will likely watch it again but for the most part it just made me wish I was watching any other Statham or Li movie except War. It is at the very least better than War.

The film's too poor to deserve any such let-off, especially since it fails the only requirement you feel it needed to fulfill; rather than nourish my people and things go boom hunger, it merely underlined it. It was like eating a Tic Tac or having some chewing gum when dinner's a long way off.

Thank you, Devin. I felt a sadness that this movie didn't click for me as it did with so many others. There's just a blatant lack of trying all around, and it really ought to be a crime to not give Terry Crews anything to do.

To be fair, they gave Terry Crews that shotgun.

I liked the movie well enough, but it's by far the worst of the 3 Stallone comeback films, and I can't really argue with anything Devin said. Charisma Carpenter still looked pretty good though, and I got a few chuckles out of her pointless sub-plot.

Valid points all.

I was a bit enthusiastic for this when it was announced, but once they showed footage that quickly dissolved. This movie was so made for Redbox I'm amazed they didn't co-finance it.

Really? Because calling Randy Couture an "MMA ding dong" is like, the height of wit or something?

I haven't seen the Expendables because it looked like a waste of time, amusing cast aside, but I'm not getting where the excess venom is coming from. Especially, excess, boring venom.

You haven't seen the movie but you don't get where the dislike is coming from? That's so weird - you would think that not having seen the movie you'd be totally aware of everything about it, and completely qualified to comment on the opinions of others who did the stupid thing and SAW the movie before giving their thoughts.

You beat me to it, mate. I'm all for Devin's scathing attacks on bad films (and this is definitely a bad film), but the amount of times this went from attacking the movie into pure, almost childish whining just put me off.
"Least attractive female lead in years"? Even if I agreed, I'd still expect you of all people to rise above that kind of superficiality.
"an MMA ding dong"? Couldn't agree more that Randy shouldn't be making movies, but he's a very intelligent, well-spoken man who I have never seen utter a bad word to anyone (and the guy makes a living from COMPETITIVE FIGHTING - think about that for a second), as well as still being able to perform as a top-level professional athlete in his mid-40's. "ding dong" seems like a pretty gross generalisation.

Put simply, this write-up just is NOT the Devin I have appreciated all these years - this is some bottom-feeder shit. Don't go out like this, man.

I didn't say, dislike. I said "excess venom". But then maybe you thought calling Randy Couture an MMA ding dong was totally relevant to the film in question (in addition to being funny, which it wasn't...for the record).

I can assure you though. Unlike Quinton Jackson, not all MMA fighters think 'acting is gay'.

Who gives a shit what MMA fighters think or do? Randy Couture is awful. MMA is ridiculous. Go cry about it.

Yeah, I loved The Expendables, but I agree on Couture. He's the only one I wouldn't really care if he gets replaced in the sequel, plus Jet Li not doing any promotion means they'll probably replace him with someone else. Donnie Yen should get a phone call.

I feel the worst for Vern of outlawvern, he was so hyped up for this. He deserved better.

For someone who gives a shit what actors (of all people) do as a full time job, I'd hope the irony isn't lost on you. And no...MMA is still awesome.

I thought the MMA joke was funny. Devin's "ding dong" label seemed to speak to the fact that his qualifications were purely athletic and not based in acting skill.

The "least attractive female lead" comment is vexing. I don't know whether he's parodying the sexism of the film business (given the fact that it's an over the top "80s" homage film we're talking about) or supporting it. I never hear Devin lambast a film for lacking a sufficiently attractive male star at least.

PS What is the deal with Jet Li? Why is he Stallones enemy? I am fascinated to learn more about this, but I don't *remember* any articles about their feud at least

Couture seems like a hell of a nice guy, but he should stay away from acting.
And Stallone probably should have known better than to cast him. He could have easily eliminated the character and given Crews more screentime.

Have to agree with Devin's piece. I never expected The Expendables to be anything more than enjoyable rubbish, but it falls so short of even that. Everytime Statham was on screen, I found myself in the unexpected position of wishing I was watching a third Transporter sequel, where at least a sense of everything-and-the-kitchen-sink B-movie silliness would have been in place. It's baffling how a movie with these ingredients ended up so dull.

Bobby, if the film leaves you hungry go watch something else to get your fill. But you idea that something needs to be thoroughly analyzed because of the poor job that it does isn't relative, in my mind, to this film.

Stallone just wanted to get a lot of "meat heads" (albeit rotting meat heads) together to blow up some stuff. Getting in to critically spawns pieces like the L.A. Times had about the faux patriotism or whatever. The movie is so simple it's laughable to put critical thought like that into it.

This should have been Rambo x Each Additional Cast Member.

Sam Strange is on the ball about the weird chick-baiting aspects.

You don't ever find yourself wondering why some simple films are awesome and others fall flat?

Double Quote McGhee over here.

Bucho put it much better than I could. The film itself doesn't depress me, but this defense of "eh...what did you expect? Stop thinking about. Don't worry about it." sure as hell does.

TaylorF: True Film Fan.

EDIT: I do truly wish that discouraging critical thought towards films was a punishable offense. It annoys me more than a million people with a million huge signatures posting a million face-palm pictures.

As per usual.

And yes, I DO demand a lot from my action films. I demand a lot from my horror films, my science fiction films, my comedies, because the moment I shrug and go "eh...good enough." is the moment I have no right to complain when Hollywood trudges out pure shit.

It used to be we could forgive an action film for a bad story and bad acting as long as the action was exciting and well shot. Nowadays, we forgive them for that. If the action itself is shot blandly with very little excitement and choreography that you can't follow at all, that what the hell is the redeeming factor of said action film?

Is it known what happened with Jet Li? I read Stallone's Q&A on AICN where he constantly heaped praised on all his actors except Li. I even kind of half remember a dismissive comment about him in one of Stallone's answers.

LOL. In one thread I mention the fact that some films don't get any talk what so ever and get made fun of for it. I then come here and say this film doesn't deserve critical thought and get reamed for it.

Fact of the matter is this film has teachable things about it. I don't disagree with that and I learned from it. But the narrative is simple. I don't feel the need to try and dissect a narrative that isn't trying to be more than what I feel it is at face value. I was probably wrong to say in general terms that "no critical thought" should be given to any film. But in regards specifically to The Expendables, I didn't feel that there was anything deeper than what is shown that had any emotional or political or any other type of connection as a metaphor or allegory. If someone has more insight, I would love to hear it to open my eyes to it.

Really? So no one should talk about these films? Interesting...

At least you were right about me being a "True Film Fan", whatever that means. I do love film and love to talk about it.

C'moooooooooon Taylor, who said anything about dissecting the narrative or finding emotional or political elements or metaphor or allegory? Are these even mentioned in the article or anybody's posts? Are these the only elements of the cinematic art you are aware of? Your argument (and your laughter) smells of straw and is shaped man-like.

The article regards the quality of the banter, the chemistry between the actors, the action, and the physical attributes of the leading lady. Some movies get these things right and they feel meatheadedly awesome. Others come up short and feel deflatingly impotent. We talk about that shit around here because we love the meatheadedly awesome and wish deflatingly impotent begone.

Completely different contexts, but have fun with that.

EDIT: Actually, in context it still makes no sense. I said that some films are obviously shit, and that's WHY people on the boards weren't talking about them. Not that they SHOULDN'T talk about them.

Explain please. I really feel like we would have really good conversations and discussion in real life, but the the message board system just allows for things to be taken out of context and/or misunderstood. I don't understand why you have to be so sarcastic and short. That is of course, if I'm taking the meaning of your posts correctly.

Yes it was a straw man. Thank you for at least responding to the issue I was having. But i don't really see that as critical thought as much as I see it as analysis. Perhaps I should use the term "critical analysis" to differentiate what I mean.

Devin criticizes the film for being boring and poorly written, with awful characters. Devin wasn't saying it was a good action film but he disagreed with it's political views. He's not saying that the use of color overwhelms it's thematic content. He's engaging the film on the exact level it asks to be engaged, and declaring it a failure across the board.

You reply " it seems odd to give any type of critical thought to a film that clearly had none put into it." As if, because it was a film with narrow aspirations, it's beyond scrutiny.

This is an anti-intellectual approach to films. It happens from time to time on these boards and it is always annoying. Recently I had a debate with stump about the significance of the themes of Piranha 3D. He believed that the film was actively making statements about the spring break party-goers, equivocating them to the piranhas as sexually immature consumers. I disagreed with his assertion that this is something the film was actively trying to state, but I never once say that he was "overthinking" it or that "that kind of movie doesn't deserve that kind of critical thought." I absolutely believe that that film, like ALL films, benefits from looking deeper into it, from multiple levels.

It's at this point I want to point out again that this wasn't even what Devin was doing. He was engaging the film as it asks to be engaged.

Thank you! I see exactly what you are saying and understand. I believe all films should be looked into deeper as well, and clearly I was not thinking correctly in what I said. Perhaps the film felt so flat for me and listening to an interview with Stallone talk about how he just wanted to make something with some action (I'm paraphrasing), made me miss the point of this specific article.

Now, if I may, in what context were you meaning about the movies that no film fan would watch or give a shit about?

The person I was responding to said that the CHUD message boards were not a mixed group of opinions because every one was talking about Scott Pilgrim and no one was talking about Eat, Pray, Love. I replied that, on a message board for film fans, with predominantly male users, there's barely anyone that's going to fall for the kind of chick-targeted lifestyle porn, and that's WHY no one was talking about it. Not that it SHOULDN'T be talked about, but that was WHY it wasn't.

I really did think you meant something along the lines of, "there is nothing to be gained and why would any movie watcher subject themselves to that crap". Thanks for clarifying. I did see those films by the way. And I think you are somehow supporting my point in that this isn't the "most broad" group.

Kudos for having the maturity to have a real discussion with Patrick instead of going the "you're an idiot" route.

So I finally got around to seeing this, and while it was a fun flick, and mostly harmless, I won't be watching it again, for the reasons discussed above. Such potential there...

 

The 'making of' doc, Inferno, on the other hand, is a must see (and it's available on Netflix streaming). This Doc is some serious Normal Vincent Peale shit. Stallone is a real inspiration, and after seeing some of the injuries he sustained while making this film, I understand why he seemed so tired when acting in it, but his passion for making movies is awe inspiring.