Finally got around to watching this. As far as Verhoeven films go, I think I would still rank RoboCop over this because I actually gave a shit about the main character in that, and the villains were more interesting in their personalities. But this is still a damned entertaining piece of action satire. Laundry list!:
-Johnny and Carmen are both terrible people; they frankly deserve each other. He got Dizzy killed, I'm sorry! If he had kept his mouth shut, she would've KEPT FUCKING RUNNING. And nice job yanking that claw to make her bleed out, dumbass. YOU ARE NOT A SURGEON WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING.
-As for Van Dien and Richards, I'll say this for Casper: his line readings and attempts to be macho are at least so bad they're hilarious, and the man's giving everything he's got (it just isn't much, hahaha). Denise... yeah, this is almost as bad as her TWINE casting. I do not for one second believe her as a badass pilot. Of course, that's probably part of the joke.
-These are the whitest damn Argentinians I've ever seen. Again, part of the joke, I know, but it's still bizarre.
-Of the young ones, Dina Meyer and (of course) Neil Patrick Harris are easily the standouts, although Jake Busey is fun because of how unintentionally creepy he is (and god DAMN he looks so much like Gary here. It's those fucking teeth). I will note that poor Dina is unfortunately saddled with those terrible last words: I GOT TO HAVE YOU JOHNNY BLURGH. Excuse me while I wretch. Everyone else is just kind of "there".
-The real stars here are Michael Ironside and Clancy Brown, who easily steal the film away from their pretty cadets. I was disappointed to see Ironside apparently leave the film early, so I practically cheered when he popped up again. Clancy... do I need to say anything? I already loved him as a voice actor, but after seeing him in this and Shawshank, I love him even more.
-Yeah, the effects still hold up thanks to a combination of various techniques. I actually kind of like the brain bug for how disgustingly fleshy it is, although I can't help but feel sorry for it at the end with those big, sad eyes. Well, and they're fucking torturing it, so that helps.
-Biggest laughs of the movie for me were following the censored death of the cow with visibly eviscerated Mormons (they ruin everything!), the dumbass soldiers cheerfully handing out guns and ammo to kids, and what look like some of the same kids stomping cockroaches with glee.
-Oh, and that the *black guy* whips the shit out of Rico. And the hilariously stupid military tactics. I'm not even IN the military and I can tell you that.