Survivor: Nicaragua

I kinda view last seasons All-Stars as the finale of the show. I can't imagine anything topping it. I hate to say it, but the first time in Survivor history, I don't think I'm going to watch.

I'll watch tonight just to see if Jimmy Johnson's team seeks shelter under his Extenze-cock.

Not a bad premiere, but far from a great one. However, non-All Star SURVIVOR is usally more about steadily building momentum than instantaneous combustion anyways.

A good crazy first boot, akin to Peter in Marquesas and that scary black lady from Palau. I think I'm going to enjoy Tyrone's sarcastic eye-rolling and Marty has the potential makings of a decent sleazy villain. Jimmy J conquered the edit, but probably because he isn't long for the game. And because he's famous. Oh, and the IC was weak sauce.

The young tribe makes me want to beat myself in the face with a rock.

Fabio.

I have a weird feeling that the producers think we'll find the young tribe endearingly goofy, "hot" and oh-so-crazy, when in fact they're actually unbearable cretins.

Pretty much all the men on the young team are loathsome. Par for the course.

My Survivor girlfriend this season is definitely that Madelaine Stowe-clone on the old tribe (Eve?).

By the way, Boston Rob wants us to vote cancer off the planet.

Right off the bat, J.J, should have told everyone that he was playing for charity. This way, they could not use the "This guy is rich and doesnt need a million dollars" attitude and vote him off early.

Going to find myself rooting for the old tribe. Kind of getting sick of the i'm young and i'll flirt to win attitude.

I'll root for Fabio, since he is already being harrassed by the jocks, who apparently dont own shorts. By the way boys, prancing around in your underwear is gayer then anything that Fabio has done...

She probably had her 40th birthday on the boat ride to the island.

Apparently she's 41. And pretty hot.

And it's Yve Rojas.

*golf clap*

I guarantee if that LOGAN'S RUN remake ever gets off the ground, it will be saddled with tons of Carousel-as-reality-show jokes.

This doesn't look great. I like Jimmy Johnson, I suppose. It might have been more honest if they separated everyone in to tribes of Annoying and Stupid. "Annoying tribe is making real headway on the puzzle!"

Dear Producers: DER!

In case you didn't know, Probst does a post-episode blog for the entire run of the season. This week's entry: http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/09/16/je...ere-episode-1/

I thought it was a middling opening episode, but Episode 29 is right: the "regular" seasons are about building momentum and seeing what stories unfold, rather than necessarily exploding right out of the gate.

Hit the skids ya homophobe!

Jimmy Johnson really can motivate. One minute that shoe-theft lady was crying then she talks to him for a bit and all the sudden she's full of pep.

Aaaaaaaand we're off. SURVIVOR NICARAGUA has officially gotten interesting. Such a relief after a fairly unpromising premiere.

Tom Welling was a good first boot for the young tribe. Misogynistic, homophobic white trash rarely makes for a strong unifying force in a tribe mate (See: The People of Foa Foa vs Ben Browning in SOMOA). Nice to see some personality emerging on that tribe, too.

Naonka may be abrasive as all hell, but her ass is utterly hypnotic. Hope she doesn't leave soon. Let her talk shit about the pleasant, one-legged, challenge champion woman for a while longer.

The old tribe is equally kooky. When Jane Lynch stole that mobster's shoes it was fascinating. It was like a typical Russell move if Russell were a raging, menopausal drama queen. So strange, yet so goddamn entertaining. Hope they keep her around and boot off the vanilla ER doctor or something. The look on that mobster dude's face when she put her hand on his knee was priceless.

Can't wait for next week. This shit just got real.

I feel bad for that hobo chump who's all jealous of Jimmy Johnson.

"Why doesn't anyone listen to me? My name is Jimmy too but nobody listens to me. He's not so great."

For the second week in a row, the bootee cut their own throat at Tribal. If Shannon had just shut the fuck up, they would have at least had a 5-5 tie. RoboKelly and Benry both turned on him right there.

Not enough Yve this week.

Yeah, where was the love for him deciphering that the clue was referencing a yard arm? You don't just get that information anywhere. It takes a salty old fisherman like Jimmy Whatever-his-last-initial-is.

Oh, and I'm genuinely terrified by Menopausal Swim Coach.

Oh and oh, did Fabio get his socks back from Angry Black Chick or was he ascared to?

I'm trying to think of the last time a big, strong alpha male went home first at Tribal. Kind of an interesting development. Usually even the biggest domineering assholes last until merge.

That one where they voted two people off within the first hour. It was a kooky old lady and an alpha male. He was pissed.

So, you'd think Survivor might, oh, I don't know, try not to cast crazy mean-spirited black people over and over again? They've got a real bad record there.

I also like the bitter hobo. I don't understand why the oldsters wouldn't avail themselves of Jimmy Johnson at this early stage. He's easily the smartest guy there.

Yeah, they keep casting the same young black female over and over. Seriously, I think Nayonka (sp?) has been on this show about seven or eight seasons already.

Or, in fairness, perhaps they keep giving these women the same edit.

It happened in Vanuatu when the all-male Lopevi tribe went to council. The younger guys tried to take out the older guys, but failed and some alpha named Brook was sent packing.

Holy shit. Nay is just a horrible, horrible person. I know the alliance number's favor her for the time being, but I really hope she gets booted soon.

The only thing I hope for more is that Survivor's producers will someday go back to casting black women that aren't all about being "Hood."

I really like Marty, and think he has a solid chance at making it to the end. But he's playing day 18 on day 8. Better to cut loose Dan, the dude who can barely walk, than Jimmy J who at least is a natural leader. I don't see Marty being able to unite the tribe. Especially not with Jimmy T (aka Uncle Leo Jr.) and Tyrone in it.

NaOnka is a total rag, but a guiltily entertaining one. Anyone who verbally slams an amputee multiple times per episode is too special to lose. Strange that she's a gym teacher... Can't see her keeping her job now that this is airing.

I don't see the Old Tribe recovering any ground next week.

Hilarious. That's all I'm gonna think about when I see him now.

Naonka cannot be off this show soon enough. She constantly seems to be auditioning for a 1995 UPN sitcom or something.

Yeah, she's loathsome, but at least she's a character. I'd rather have her stick around than have to listen to the antiseptic musings of Chase, Kelly Purple, Brenda or Alina. At least she creates some drama and insanity around camp. I mean, It would be pretty dire if we only had Fabio to provide amusement.

yeah, dumb move voting him off. Now i cant wait to watch the old tribe just fail challenge after challenge. It was probably going to happen anyway, but with what they just did, it will be quite entertaining.

As for the "hood" girl, this will be one of those situations where she is kept around for numbers and possibly till the end cause people cant stand her... but will be fulfilling when she is finally tossed out.

Nah, she's clearly the gutsy but gruff coach with a heart of gold that pushes her young inner city students towards a better life for themselves. Like Goldie Hawn in Wildcats. That being said, I do foresee the possibility of her attacking Probst with her torch in the event she's voted off.
Great point that succintly sums up my thoughts, although I can't say I'm a fan of Marty. He's playing far too aggressive of a game. He's just coloring in the target on his back everytime he opens his mouth. He's not going to last long, mark my words.

Oh, and in related news, Shannon did an interview where he states that his "Are you gay?" comment was edited out of context. He explains that he was actually trying to show that Sash (?) was a liar because the dude had told Shannon he was gay, but then pretended he was straight to the rest of the tribe. If true, that's interesting (if strategically boneheaded). And, that being said, the dude also stated that he plans to vote for Palin in 2012... so, yeah, he still sucks.

These might be some of the worst Survivor contestants in recent memory. When they're not being annoying they're being dull, and when they're not being dull they're being dumb. How is it that three weeks in a row we've had tribal councils involving people talking themselves out of staying in the game? Tribal Council is when you should play your cards close to your vest.

Naonka is definitely one of the most annoying contestants I've seen. The trend of having abrasive black women on this show has been brought up, but it's common on other reality shows as well. I wonder why this happens so often? Are the shows creators deliberately trying to promote stereotypes, or is it that being the sole black person in a game with predominately white contestants makes them act more defencive or paranoid? Either way, the tribe has to realize Naonka needs to go. What is with her irrational hatred of Kelly B? She seems to have decided to hate her on sight. She strikes me as being the kind of person who, as a kid, would see an amputee, and with no sense of tact ask them "what's wrong with your leg?" Then later mock them behind their back.

Maybe it's because we're coming off of an all star Survivor season, but this season is shaping up to be a bit of a bust. There have been no players who have stood out as being physically dominant, although this is to be expected when you have an older tribe. And nobody except Marty has shown any real savvy, and even then I think he's playing this game two or three steps ahead of himself.

Good Christ I hate this cast. The ones I don't hate, I don't know anything about. I might have to bail on this season. I would hate to watch the whole season just because I want to see Naonka voted off, only to spend the next two months watching her not get voted off. The only one I'm enjoying at all is the bitter hobo, but I certainly don't like him.

I think what I like watching is smart play, and it looks possible that there will be absolutely none this season. The only person with a modicum of brains is the Edie McClurg-alike that's sidekicking Marty. I guess I'll root for her.

Calling the winner now-Sash, and he'll be annoying as all hells.

Probst Survivor blog. Glad to see he's not afraid to speak honestly about the contestants shortcomings:http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/09/30/je...gua-episode-3/

So long Uncle Leo!!!

Such an irritating not-so-little man. Oh, and NaOnka has an II.

Not a particularly strong episode.

I have to say that my respect for Marty's game shot up 100% last night. He's quite clever in manipulating the politics of the game. That being posted, he's also a goddamn fool for manipulating the ouster of Survivor's first hobo contestant. Are you kidding me? This team needs to be physically strong at this point in the game and Danny is not going to get them there.

Unless they shake up the game (which next week's previews indicate), I'm predicting Palau-style for the older tribe.

On the younger tribe side, I hereby declare Alena a low-key hottie.

Who is part of that alliance, though? Marty, Danny, Jill. Is there anyone else? Because if not, last night would have presented a great opportunity to bring Tyrone into their alliance by oustering Danny. At some point, an alliance can become an albatross around one's neck. I feel like that's the case here.

You know that there's going to be a mud battle type of challenge in the next couple of episodes. If Danny is forced to compete in it, the older tribe is in massive trouble because he's going to either (a) get his ass handed to him, (b) get injured, or (c) some combination of the two.

Truth. She's kind of got an Amy Adams thing going on.

Moral of this season: all the chatterboxes go early. Keep yer trap shut. Having said that, I can almost guarantee that the eventual winner is going to be someone we've barely seen so far like Purple Kelly or Yve.

Big mistake Marty, you preppy little bitch.

Jimmy T's psychotic rendition of American Girl alone was enough for me to get misty over his departure.

The only one I enjoyed watching is gone! I guess Tyrone is my guy now, along with the old prospector lady(Jill?). She's got some old coot gumption.

Of all the horrible people who could get fucked over by the tribe swap next week, I guess Marty would be the most likely, and I can't argue with that. What I'm hoping is that it's not a swap at all, but the earliest merge ever. But they'll never do that.