WATCH THIS NOW: (BULLSHIT) LIVE-ACTION POKÉMON MOVIE TRAILER

Everything other than the music (it was a little too quiet during most of it) was perfect.

What, exactly, is interesting about the Pokemon concept? It's even less of a mythology than Transformers; obnoxious and poorly strung together episodes with a 100% focus on selling you poor young suckers shit. What's next? Getting nostalgic for Beetleborgs?

Being on your own with no adult supervision, camping, and playing with awesome animals is the shit when you're 10 years old.

I hope they do one for Street Sharks next.

Come on Greg, really? I don't want to play pissing contest with children's franchises, or pull a Policar and over-analyze the philosophical implications of a kid's show to explain the appeal when just a little bit of imagination might do the trick.

I just figured the Pokemon window was like my brother's: short, and in retrospect, kind of embarrassing. I was 14 when Pokemon hit and I was already way beyond it; I put up with it from my younger brother, but that only lasted about a year. He came home from school one day and threw all his cards away, and never really mentioned it again.

I've got tons of cartoons from the late 80s-mid 90s that I was absolutely gaga about, but save for a few properties that had actually interesting concepts, I don't feel this twittering people get when these crappy fan trailers show up. I recognize that when I was 10, it was awesome, but trying to retrofit it with pseudo-adult sensibilities now it'd just be a new level of stupid.

But then, I was also the one harrumphing when everyone was creaming their shorts about the Nolan-ized Mortal Kombat trailer. I guess the 90s felt less "oh, cool" and more "wow, this decade was really just the worst" to me.

Beyond feeling kinda uncomfortable that the entire premise is centered around enslaving animals and then forcing them to fight one another, I haven't given this franchise a second thought in about ten years. It's a pure marketing show, and I guess as a card game/video game it was fun, but as far as an actual premise for a plot? Bollocks. Bollocks I say!

This is a satire.

The Internet is a cruel mistress. Now I understand how my older brothers feel trying to get Mario parody videos and comics. None of that meant anything to me. I know the name of two POKEMON characters - pikachu, just cause he leaked into popular consciousness, and jiggly-puff (sp?) from Super Smash Brothers. Renn is so sadly right. The mantle is yours little buddy. But just remember, as the wise Grandpa Simpson once said...

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what “it” was, and now what I’m with isn’t it. And what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me. And it'll happen to you."

I never played the card game. I watched the show a bit, and played the gameboy game. I wouldn't say it was some centerpiece of my childhood, but it was vastly more entertaining than it should have been.

It was always cock fighting for kids though. Even worse though, I don't think there are any animals that aren't pokemon, so they basically ate their pokemon friends if they were hungry.

Thing is, it wasn't about the cartoons initially. All about the Game Boy and the collectible card game. I thought the show was ridiculous, but I picked up the game. And it was fun. I still can't believe there isn't a PokeMMO. Seems so easy.

Having never watched a single second of POKEMON or played the game(s), I refuse to believe it was somehow any stupider than most kids' properties are. I used to watch a show about a kid who turned into a car when he had hot liquid poured on him, then back into a human when he got cold stuff on him. "Oh, no an ice cream shop!" Boom. Kid again. I loved it. Kids are stupid and respond to big ridiculous ideas. I must defend POKEMON based purely on reason here.

Bummer. I though this might be a shot at Jim Butcher's Alera series. No joy.

Bingo.

I realize that Pokemon's just as stupid as the stuff I watched, but then, I'm not really pining for those shows to come back, either. I'll never make a case that an updated Power Rangers could be cool. My inner child is dead like that.

On the flip side, I'm still an über geek out about certain comic book properties getting a big screen treatment. So maybe it's a selective hypocrisy. Who knows. Not really trying to judge anyone, I just don't understand is all.

You obviously do understand, you're just unwilling to open it up beyond things you like, it seems.

Is there the suggestion of "pining" for these franchises to be treated this way? Was trying to make a point about the inevitability of Hollywood mining them, not that I want them to. I mean sure, yeah, I'd like to see a properly toned live-action Pokemon movie some day (frankly, I'd like to make it), but (more) Power Rangers? S.W.A.T. Kats? Street Sharks? Animorphs? Doug? Ahhhhh, Real Monsters? Hey Arnold? Mighty Max? Beanie Babies? Not looking forward to that kind of shit.

I'm still waiting for the HELP! IT'S THE HAIR BEAR BUNCH movie. That's several generations behind.

I guess you're not a fan of Power Rangers: RPM the newest Power Rangers series.

Naw, some children's cartoons were shit. But, I'm sure some could be mined for some quality ideas.

The fact that it gave us the word "Squirtle" justifies POKEMON's existence. Because goddamn that's a funny word.

That said though - the trailer was okay, I suppose. I mean I got it, but it really didn't do anything for me one way or another. Probably because my exposure to the property pretty much starts and stops with my giggling at the word "squirtle."

All's I'm gonna say here is, despite knowing the game would be exactly the same its ever been, except with new location and gym names, my geriatric self will be blowing off grandchildren visits for weeks every time a holographic Pokemon Fuchsia/Chartreuse is released.

Oh yeah. I loved Inspector Gadget. The idea of the dog, Brain, and Penny being smarter than the Dr. and Gadget and the agency was fantastic.

-Real Monsters, school for scaring,
-Luche Luchadores, school for juvenile Mexican wrestling,
-Jem and the Holograms (for you late 80's peeps) Rock stars who used the power of holograms to fight crime,
-Phineas and Ferb, international spy child and platypus.
-Bobby's World, Howie Mandel sold to kids
-Bruno the Kid, Bruce Willis sold to kids
-Dino-Riders, Space Empires go back in time and use aluminum helmets to make dinosaurs into cavalry units.
-Taz-Mania, Teenage Taz, Bob Hope father, squee Sister. Never did they discuss Taz's speech impediment.
-Animanics, Marx Brothers for kids.

I loved all these shows. I am just saying I liked Pokemon for the game, not the show.

Wow... that is way back there. Who knows, if Yogi Bear knocks it out of the park...

HOGAN'S HEROES in a zoo. Best show idea ever.

Generationally I got all screwed up by USA's "Cartoon Express" in the late 80's, which got me hooked on a bunch of 70's show. Mmmm... JABBERJAW.

Hey, on POKEMON, were the animals literally slaves? Or did they like the humans and people calling them "slaves" are just being snarky?

Let's not get into the morality of beating wild creatures until they are weak enough to trap, then fight them against others for badges and glory.

Well the characters sent out trained animals to beat the crap out of wild ones and trap them into little balls.

Bars do not a prison make.

If I remember correctly, the characters go out into the woods, happen upon a powerful Pokemon, and throw out those multi-colored balls to trap them. They then release them from their plastic prisons pretty much only to engage in battle against each other.

Yeeeeeeup.

EDIT: Although giving it some thought, it'd be interesting if someone took the concept and turned it around on people, making the Pokemon battle system like a modern day gladiator ring, and instead make the hero a Maximus/Spartacus type Pokemon who tries to engineer a takeover and break their balls of oppression.

Wow. That's some grim shit right there. Oh, Asians. You're incorrigible.

But but but, pokemon trainers really love their pokemon. And its the evil Teams that exploit them for ??? purposes.

I am Pikachu! I am Pikachu!

Loved some Jabberjaw. Captain Caveman, Speed Buggy, Laff-a-lympics. Paw-paws. It basically set the stage for my love of Harvey Birdman, Attorney-at-law.

What? I thought we were Facebook friends man. Why you gotta hate?

Though, Pokemon is Japanese.

I suppose it means something that the only pokemon that can speak English is on the evil side.

Like I said, Jim Butcher's Alera series. It's based on a bet the guy had with another writer. This is from wikipedia because I'm old and can't remember shit:

Another author bet him that he could not write a good story from a bad idea. Jim replied that he would let the other author pick not one, but two bad ideas, and he would write a good story about it. The two bad ideas the other author gave him were the lost 9th Roman Legion and Pokemon.

I liked the series because I like Butcher's style and the Dresden series. If you don't like him, don't bother, but it was an interesting take on Pokemon.

One thing that could be pointed out here is that Pokemon have better healthcare than just about every country on earth.

That's because they're naturally tough as shit. They can't actually die, only faint.

But they can be poisoned, for instance.

All I'm saying is, you don't spend half the games trying to pay back the pokemon center for restoring your Pidgeot's health.

You live in American man. You're Asian in the same way I'm Scandinavian. We cannot be held responsible for the eccentric behavior of our wacky forebears.

But this video is a joke obviously. It's not a "seious" serious update.

And I love monsters. I totally get why kids would want to collect these critters. The card games are basically newer versions of War or Uno (rock/paper/scissors), with additional distractions.

Really great quality. Very impressive.

It was weird getting into the Pokemon card game as a kid, because I had already been playing Magic: The Gathering for a year or two (my parents were into it for a while). The Pokemon game was essentially the "Go Fish" version of Magic (published by the same company in fact), so even at 10 or whatever, I was frustrated with the simplicity of it and always kicked my friend's asses.

Just for the record, because I'm still not sure everyone gets it after Patrick and Darkmite clarified, this fan trailer is a satire, and is meant to be humorous.

I used to get high and watch the original Pokeman cartoons after class in college, but I mainly enjoyed the weird Japanese-ness of it and the mangled American re-working obvious in many of the scenes. The later seasons were more thoroughly Americanized for the English language viewers and aren't as fun... for a stoned college kid, that is. As a responsible adult none of it has any value to me.

I still like to imagine the voice actor who does Pikachu as a super-hot Japanese girl in a school uniform, though.

And Team Rocket. WTF? They will forever remain a mystery for me to ponder.

You're also missing the fact that Inspector Gadget was Get Smart sold to kids.

Anyway. Anyone wondering what good can possibly come of turning a child's cartoon into a film need only watch that first Ninja Turtles movie some time. Having said that, the basis was already there for the tone and structure that movie took. No such animal exists for Pokemon. A giant of consumerism that big is only going to go so far as a quality concept for a film.

Then again, I'm pretty sure I had the same assertion about Speed Racer at some point too.

Here's where I really get raked over the coals: the first Ninja Turtles movie is bad. Badly shot, badly acted, badly paced. It's got some funny lines and I guess I give it credit for taking one of the better original storylines and introduce kids to it, but try as I might, it's just not a good piece of movie.

Jaredpleasedon'thurtme.

ETA: And I guess I missed the "it's meant as a joke" part. It had just enough effort put into it that it brought to mind the crappy super-serious fan trailers that pop up every so often, most recently one for Street Fighter that got multiple headlines over at Collider.

Does the show take place on Earth?

Yeah, in a very stylized, sprawled out take on Japan. One of the charms is how quiet and rural it feels.

It's all over the article. For shame.

"We joked about how popular it currently is to make dark ‘reboots’ of popular franchises, and started talking about shows we loved from our childhoods that would make interesting adaptations: pokémon glazes over some horrific animal rights issues."

Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but she's not super hot. Pretty cute, though.

Here's your consolation prize, though.

Voice actors are sooooo creepy.

I'm not interested in Pokemon, but I have to admit this fake trailer makes Pokemon look interesting. And I like how the Team Rocket members carry guns and not wimpy little Pokemons with them.