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Happy Belated Birthday Sad Keanu

post #1 of 48
9/24/10 at 10:17am
Thread Starter 
I was told that this is apparently Keanu celebrating his birthday. Alone. With a cupcake. It's either the saddest or most hilarious thing I've seen this week.









Oh sad Keanu......
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post #2 of 48
9/24/10 at 10:21am
He's not sad, just Canadian.
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post #3 of 48
9/24/10 at 10:27am
what do you reckon is he dying his hair or is he immortal as rumour suggests?
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post #4 of 48
9/24/10 at 10:30am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd Dobler View Post
what do you reckon is he dying his hair or is he immortal as rumour suggests?
That would explain the weariness.
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post #5 of 48
9/24/10 at 10:47am
He does kinda look like Vandal Savage in those pics.
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post #6 of 48
9/24/10 at 11:22am
Made me think of this.
The 12 Most Depressing Keanu Reeves Quotes
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post #7 of 48
9/24/10 at 12:10pm
I feel very close to this guy, all I do is read, play hockey and try and learn the piano
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post #8 of 48
9/24/10 at 12:21pm
To paraphrase The Smashing Pumpkins (via The Simpsons) I'm sure his millions of dollars and legions of fans will offer some comfort.
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post #9 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:04pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Love Machine View Post
To paraphrase The Smashing Pumpkins (via The Simpsons) I'm sure his millions of dollars and legions of fans will offer some comfort.
But it genuinely doesn't seem to, which is what makes him so endearing.
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post #10 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anyawatchin Angel View Post
The last doesn't count because it's funny.
IT EXISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the SOUL SHATTERING CUPCAKE AFTERMATH pic is the best one.
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post #11 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by wadew1 View Post
The last doesn't count because it's funny.
IT EXISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the SOUL SHATTERING CUPCAKE AFTERMATH pic is the best one.
That's what sells it. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw that, yet wanted to cry for him at the same time. I picture his mind being a swirl of melancholy as he stares at the cupcake, knowing he should celebrate his birthday, but wondering why life is so depressing. He gives in, eats the cupcake, then is crushed by the weight of futility. "Goddamnit, what do I do now?"
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post #12 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:35pm
How is this not a gigantic put-on? Its the exact same pose as the original sandwich-on-a-bench photos that spawned the meme.
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post #13 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:36pm
It's because he knows that cupcake DOESN'T EXIST!!
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post #14 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:41pm


That's the most bad ass cupcake consumption image I've ever seen! It looks like his character from STREET KINGS is eating a pastry

With that said.. I feel kind of sad that he's alone and lonely looking on his B-Day. He should have called me up, we could have chilled and ate cupcakes together.
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post #15 of 48
9/24/10 at 1:53pm
That photo series just turned a boring-ass day around for me. Thank you, Ron.
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post #16 of 48
9/24/10 at 2:03pm
The meme makes it not obvious, but Keanu's got a sense of humor. This was probably shot on purpose. Which makes me like the son of a bitch even more.
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post #17 of 48
9/24/10 at 2:38pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Bodhisattva View Post
That photo series just turned a boring-ass day around for me. Thank you, Ron.
I think I like it so much because it perfectly encapsulates the way I've been feeling this month. It's also why Keanu is maybe my favorite actor despite his flaws in talent.
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post #18 of 48
9/24/10 at 5:38pm
His daughter was stillborn, and a year later his girlfriend (mother of said baby) was killed in a traffic accident (she was apparently drunk and high at the time, but still). His sister, who he considers his best friend, has leukemia. His best friend, River Phoenix, died of an overdose when they were still practically kids. I dunno, all that might fuck a guy up a bit.

"Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, 'It's gone, and I'm better.' They're wrong. When the people you love are gone, you're alone." says Keanu Reeves.
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post #19 of 48
9/24/10 at 5:41pm
Thanks Ron for your mature and dizzyingly humane antidote to the usual swirl of TMZ/Smoking Gun level snidery that now passes for movie star news.

And yes, he does seem pretty damn blessed with an almost ageless quality. Somewhere there's a painting of him slowly turning into Lindsay Lohan. Compare this guy to say, David Letterman. I haven't seen his show in years but my wife left CBS on the other night after the news. I thought fuckin' Klaus Kinski was guest hosting!
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post #20 of 48
9/24/10 at 5:47pm
I'm really sorry to hear that about his sister. I had no clue the guy has had such a rough life recently. I'll have to pass it on to my coworker, who went to school with her (but never met Keanu). If anything though it humanizes him and I am more of a fan than ever. I just wish he wasn't so lonely looking
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post #21 of 48
9/24/10 at 6:18pm
The guy's got a wicked sense of humour and is a pretty decent sort. I suspect the poses are just a put on.
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post #22 of 48
9/24/10 at 7:00pm
Total put-on. He's gotten more attention from these sad Keanu pics than anything he's done in years.
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post #23 of 48
9/24/10 at 7:14pm
God I'm out of the loop. I had no idea what Sad Keanu is until now.

I've just spent the last hour in tears researching it. I hope he takes it in good humor, I would love to think this is a set up. Maybe he's even doing his own "I'm Still Here"
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post #24 of 48
9/24/10 at 7:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTSMGL View Post
His daughter was stillborn, and a year later his girlfriend (mother of said baby) was killed in a traffic accident (she was apparently drunk and high at the time, but still). His sister, who he considers his best friend, has leukemia. His best friend, River Phoenix, died of an overdose when they were still practically kids. I dunno, all that might fuck a guy up a bit.

"Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, 'It's gone, and I'm better.' They're wrong. When the people you love are gone, you're alone." says Keanu Reeves.
Yeesh. I mean when you put it like that... poor bastard. Yeah, everyone has their own crosses to bear and I'm sure a lot of people have it a lot worse.

I genuinely hope he isn't depressed as a lot of this makes it sound. Seems like such a good guy.
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post #25 of 48
9/24/10 at 8:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd Dobler View Post
what do you reckon is he dying his hair or is he immortal as rumour suggests?
My dad's going into his 60's and not a single gray hair. The Hughes men have excellent hair.
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post #26 of 48
9/24/10 at 8:30pm
Why do I suddenly want another Constantine movie?
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post #27 of 48
9/24/10 at 9:06pm
I've always thought he was a boring robot, but this thread has made me LOVE Keanu Reeves, holy shit.

Those sad Keanu quotes alone had me in stitches, awesome. It may be an act or it may be legit but either way it's hilarious.
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post #28 of 48
9/24/10 at 9:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nardo View Post
Why do I suddenly want another Constantine movie?
Might have something to do with that film being great.
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post #29 of 48
9/24/10 at 11:40pm
This just makes me like Keanu all the more.
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post #30 of 48
9/25/10 at 5:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
Might have something to do with that film being great.
People look at my sideways when I say that. It IS great isn't it!
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post #31 of 48
9/25/10 at 9:01am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTSMGL View Post
His daughter was stillborn, and a year later his girlfriend (mother of said baby) was killed in a traffic accident (she was apparently drunk and high at the time, but still). His sister, who he considers his best friend, has leukemia. His best friend, River Phoenix, died of an overdose when they were still practically kids. I dunno, all that might fuck a guy up a bit.

"Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, 'It's gone, and I'm better.' They're wrong. When the people you love are gone, you're alone." says Keanu Reeves.
I'm really fuzzy on the details, but I think I remember reading an article about the time of the matrix sequels that said he spent a couple of years sleeping on his sister's couch every night to be by her side during the worst part of her leukemia.
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post #32 of 48
9/25/10 at 10:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
I've always thought he was a boring robot, but this thread has made me LOVE Keanu Reeves, holy shit.

Those sad Keanu quotes alone had me in stitches, awesome. It may be an act or it may be legit but either way it's hilarious.
FACT: it's impossible to read up on Reeve's offscreen persona and go away thinking badly on him. When the Sad Keanu thing kicked off someone somewhere linked to these quotes from other people about him and I was like 'woah':

http://www.whoaisnotme.net/quotes.htm
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post #33 of 48
9/25/10 at 11:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul C View Post
FACT: it's impossible to read up on Reeve's offscreen persona and go away thinking badly on him. When the Sad Keanu thing kicked off someone somewhere linked to these quotes from other people about him and I was like 'woah':

http://www.whoaisnotme.net/quotes.htm
1) I love the title of that site. Bloody brilliant
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post #34 of 48
9/25/10 at 12:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul C View Post
FACT: it's impossible to read up on Reeve's offscreen persona and go away thinking badly on him. When the Sad Keanu thing kicked off someone somewhere linked to these quotes from other people about him and I was like 'woah':

http://www.whoaisnotme.net/quotes.htm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurence Fishburne
"I learned my lesson the first time we played a game of chess. We were living in Sydney [filming ''The Matrix''], and I thought we'd have a little game and I'd see how bright the motherfucker was. Beat my ass in 15 minutes and left."
I think this is my favorite story ever.

That entire site's pretty great, though. Especially the stuff from Sam Raimi, Pacino, and Taylor Hackford, since it was those guys that have gotten the best out of him so far.
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post #35 of 48
9/26/10 at 4:26am
"Reeves doesn't sound stupid -- far from it. He just doesn't sound human, either. Rather, he sounds like he has a deep affection for humans and has made a purely anthropological effort to integrate himself into their charming little society."

- Scott Brown (journalist), "The Man Who Would Be Keanu" - Entertainment Weekly (US) - 7th Nov 2003

Man, he could have been an awesome Doctor Manhattan.
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post #36 of 48
9/26/10 at 4:41am
So, he's Dexter if he was nicer and not a sociopathic killer?
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post #37 of 48
9/26/10 at 6:42am
Because of this LOL thread I went ahead and did some Googling. I stumbled upon this article:

What a way to spend your birthday! Keanu Reeves marks his 46th with a solitary cupcake outside a warehouse

Quote:
Reeves, whose first name means 'cool breeze over the mountains' in Hawaiian, was born in Beruit, Lebanon.
That just made me LOL'd for some reason.

___

EDIT: Found a LOL YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcsemGUl0xM
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post #38 of 48
9/26/10 at 9:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Hughes View Post
"Reeves doesn't sound stupid -- far from it. He just doesn't sound human, either. Rather, he sounds like he has a deep affection for humans and has made a purely anthropological effort to integrate himself into their charming little society."

- Scott Brown (journalist), "The Man Who Would Be Keanu" - Entertainment Weekly (US) - 7th Nov 2003

Man, he could have been an awesome Doctor Manhattan.
I've been saying that from the get-go. Keanu would've aced that part.
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post #39 of 48
9/26/10 at 9:27am
He has just risen to the top of my list of Awesome.
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post #40 of 48
9/26/10 at 9:37am
It's been said, but Jesus, along with being part English, Hawaiian, Chinese, and Portuguese, Reeves has to be part Highlander. He looks amazing.
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post #41 of 48
9/26/10 at 12:27pm
Looks like a pretty good birthday to me
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post #42 of 48
9/27/10 at 11:14am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Savage View Post
He has just risen to the top of my list of Awesome.
Another cool Reeves anecdote, apparently he bought every stuntman on the Matrix sequels crew a Harley Davidson out of his own pocket.
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post #43 of 48
9/27/10 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron Vogel View Post
Another cool Reeves anecdote, apparently he bought every stuntman on the Matrix sequels crew a Harley Davidson out of his own pocket.
Every stunt person who worked on REVOLUTIONS and RELOADED? Or just every member of his stunt team? Because if it's the former and not the latter, that could wind up being a hugely expensive gift. What a classy dude!
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post #44 of 48
9/27/10 at 5:32pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Every stunt person who worked on REVOLUTIONS and RELOADED? Or just every member of his stunt team? Because if it's the former and not the latter, that could wind up being a hugely expensive gift. What a classy dude!
I'm not sure, but, really, one fucking harley is hugely expensive.
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post #45 of 48
9/28/10 at 1:08am
It was his entire stunt team. Something like 10-14 guys all got Harleys. He used his profit bonus for the sequels to buy them, because (and I'm recalling this all from the Newsweek article from seven years ago), "I'm not doing anything else with the money, and these guys all worked hard for long days to make me look good." Stuff like that is why he's one of my favorites.
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post #46 of 48
9/28/10 at 1:09am
I never fail to mention the story about him putting back some of his salary into the visual FX team for the Matrix sequels. How can anyone hate this man!?
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post #47 of 48
10/4/10 at 2:13pm
Keanu thinks the sad Keanu meme is funny

Quote:
Seriously, though, this is one of the reasons I think one of the big appeals of you as an actor is that people are always straining to figure out what's on your mind, what you're thinking, why you're sad … There's thousands of people doing this.

Wow. So, what, now they're putting me next to other objects?

Yes! For instance, right now I'm looking at you in some Banksy graffiti, you next to a panda.

That's so funny.

You with a cheerleader, but you don't notice her …

Oh, that's funny. So they like take paparazzi pictures and re-contextualize them? Funny.

Exactly.

Well, it sounds like harmless, good clean fun.

What do you make of how your fandom is changing?

I don't know, I haven't seen it. That one, well, I guess, though, when you think of how bad that stuff can go, that sounds like a pretty good clean fun one to have happening.

Given the options …

Yeah, I haven't seen them. But given the scope and scale of what can happen out there, that sounds like an all right one. It sounds conceptually funny. [Laughs.]
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post #48 of 48
10/4/10 at 2:24pm
What a guy!
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