BRUCE!

BRUCE ROCKS! EVIL DEAD ROCKS!!

Do I win?

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It has nothing to do with paramilitary training.

Tremble in fear and hear the word of power: "Clatto Verata Nicto". Now give me the book foolish mortals or I will raise the Deadites and take it from you. I have said the words, and Now claim the Book. The sacred unholy Necronomicon.

I am a big Bruce fan because of how down-to-earth he is. I met him yesterday (to get my book signed) in his old stomping grounds, Royal Oak, MI. I was greeted by Bruce with a "Hey, Genius!" and a handshake. I think he said that because we were both wearing hawaiian shirts. Bruce then declared it to be "wacky shirt day". So as he was signing my book, I told him I was looking foreward to seeing Bubba Ho Tep, which got him talking about it. He basically said that he is unsure about how it will turn out. It will either be really great or a real stinker. He said it was a unique movie, because usually when he finishes one he knows if it will be good or bad. With this one, he couldn't tell. I asked him if it was horror/dark humor style, and he said "It ain't Disney!" I told him that we'd see it no matter how it turned out. Bruce is a real friendly guy, a real mid-westerner, and even though there was hundreds of people in line, he took the time to talk with each person who was there. And I appreciated that.

I don't want to enter the contest, but I wanted to share why I love Bruce Campbell so much.

In real-life, Bruce Campbell is a nice guy, someone who knows exactly who he is and knows what he enjoys doing. He prefers to stay out of the Hollywood system and be a family man, more than anything.

When he's on, he's on. Last year at the Saturn Awards, I didn't get to watch him host the whole time, but what I did see of him was great. He did that "Bruce-thing" that directors apparently hate so much and had the entire crowd - from Dean Devlin to Richard Donner (not that great an expanse) laughing in the aisles. He's great working a crowd.

On screen, it's usually the part, but he's a fearless comic, like Peter Sellers. In "Jack of all Trades," on "Hercules/Xena," or in the "Evil Dead" movies, he played a smarmy hero-type who always throws out wiseguy lines, but he's no Han Solo. You have to love that character - the brigand spy, the shyster, the King of Thieves, you name it, he's great at it.

"Army of Darkness" is one of my favorite movies because I can watch it any time of day. Campbell is hilarious in it and on the DVD commentary. He's great at physicality and he knows how to do the comic book thing on screen like no one else. He understands comic book exagerration, but with a MAD magazine appeal.

I think Bruce should be in every movie and every television show. I know he doesn't want to do this, but I think he'd be great at it. I have met him a few times, interviewed him a couple of times, and just genuinely like him and his characters. I think the old sad part is that his potential still has not been tapped. He could be the Actor of his generation, but he hasn't gotten the parts.

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Vladimir: I can't go on like this.
Estragon: That's what you think.

Jack, could you elaborate:

Campbell once told a story about a director walking up to him on a set and asking him to make sure he doesn't do that "thing" he does. What I think they mean is that self-referential, winking at the camera style he's known for. They don't want him to go over-the-top and comic booky.

Remember, this guy almost got "Once & Again" with Sela Ward, but was bumped at the last minute for another Campbell.

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Vladimir: I can't go on like this.
Estragon: That's what you think.

I don't think there's anyone on this fucking planet who could beat D.B.'s story. Have you told that tale to Campbell??

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Vladimir: I can't go on like this.
Estragon: That's what you think.

Wow. Coop, if that story's true, then I'm not even going to enter the contest.

i'm weepy. i gotta go to some flea markets, sounds like a good place to meet chicks.

but Cooper, the real question is: does your wife still think it's Bruce's real autograph?

Hullooooo????

Anyone out there? I mean, DB's story is damn fantastic, but doesn't ANYone else wanna give this EXCELLENT contest a shot?

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Wanna come see my thriving maggot farm?!?!?

OK OK- It would kill me not to enter it- even though I feel we ALREADY HAVE a winner. (Even if he has that cool laser disc set SIGNED-heh heh by Bruce.)

I think that I deserve the book on experience alone-OH yeah, cocky time!

Random reasons
1-I think I am the only one out there to have actually bought the Bruce figure that came from the Xena set.
2-I know that Bruce does ALL of the LEAD actors voice overs in the Dead Next Door. Great movie by the way.
3-Bought and played and finished the asslike Playstation games Pitfall 3-d and Broken Helix JUST because they have Bruce doing the voice of the characters
4-And speaking of video games- I feel that Bruce SHOULD SUE Duke Nukem for stealing his thunder with the one liners in the game.
5-I own the original Thorn/EMI video of Evil Dead. It came out on video and within weeks it was mine. As well as the 2 disc DVD set of Army of Darkness- I preordered mine unlike all of the fanboys out there- who had to seek them out on EBAY to get it.
6-I also saw all 3 Evil Dead film in the theatre. Saw ED2 and Army when they originally came out and ED at a festival as it never came around the Boston area when originally released
7-I own Crimewave, Maniac Cop, McHales Navy, AND taped most of the Jack of All Trades.

Now I am not saying that I deserve it any more than the next guy, but I would really really like it to add to my Bruce Collection.

As well as if you take out of DBs story all of the mushy lovey kind of stuff that usually RUINS ANY GOOD RESPECTABLE HORROR MOVIE OUT THERE by the way...All you have is a guy who really likes Bruce (as we all do...so that is not a reason alone to have the book) and a tale of decieving lying friend who sent him on a wild goose chase to buy back something from a poor trusting gullible woman. It is a story filled with lies and deciet and treachery.
Where as mine is filled with a fan who is filled with admiration and respect for another mans work. Yeah, that's the ticket.


Just in case:

------>Edge removal

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Okay, I'm attending the U of A and it's 1993-1994. Brisco is on the air, but not getting the following it so richly deserves. The majority of Brisco is being taped in Tucson at this point, and they are attempting to hype the show by any means possible. One of these ways is by making poor Bruce appear at a local Tucson mall.
Now, poor Bruce's loss is the gain of a handful of geek college students. A couple of friends and I watch Brisco, and like Brisco, but let's face it. Bruce is Evil Dead, Bruce is Ash, that's the way we know and worship him. So my two friends and I head to his appearance at the mall hopped up on geekdrenalin.
There is a decent turnout there, mostly looking like curious people who happened to be at the mall and are now stopped checking things out to see why people are lined up there. As a matter of fact, it appears that most people stopped there are just rubbernecking. It seems painfully obvious that the show isn't well-known with hardly anybody, and that the appearance doesn't seem to be changing this much. There are some Brisco fans, and they're getting things signed and chatting with The Chin, and there are a handful of other geeky college students like us.
We eventually get to meet Bruce. He's cool as all hell, chatting with us and somewhat surprised that we're not shoving things at him to sign (mostly because we're idiots and should have brought crap for him to sign). Since things aren't all that busy, Bruce just takes a few minutes to shoot the breeze with us. Unable to contain what complete adoring idiots we are, my friends and I start reciting line after line from the Evil Dead films (I'm sure he'd never heard that before). For whatever reason it seems to amuse him a bit, though. Then Bruce leaned over to us, gave us a wink and said the magic words, "To everybody else here, I'm Brisco today. But for you guys...I'm Ash."
He was still wearing his cowboy hat, and his full Brisco costume. He looked nothing like Ash should look, there was no chainsaw, there were no scars, it was all wrong. Somehow that just didn't matter. The glint in his eye, and his voice just saying the name "Ash" was enough. We were geeks, we knew we were geeks, Bruce knew we were geeks, but Bruce was recognizing the connection he has made with us and was somehow giving us some measure of respect because of it.
My friends and I started dorking out more than we had previously, all of us getting a bit too caught up in our moment. Bruce looked at me and said, "Calm down, ya knucklehead." Why am I a huge Bruce fan? Because being called a knucklehead by Bruce is a freaking highlight that I'm proud to tell people about.
For years since then I've been raving about Bruce and getting friends hooked on the Evil Dead films (I win about 5 new converts per year I figure). I sit at my computer adorned only with my Ash/Bruce Campbell/Treat Williams looking action figure and think how cool it was in the mall and how much I wish I had bothered to get something signed. I know Cooper's almost certainly getting the book, and I'll have to wait a while to eventually get something signed by The Chin. I also know that I'll look forward to the day I do get something signed by him. I don't do autographs, I don't like autographs. But an autograph from Bruce? That's something different altogether...

I’ve actually met Bruce Campbell once and, regretfully perhaps, I pulled the fan standard: I stood in front of him, shook his hand, said ‘I’m a big fan,’ and had him sign the cover of my beat-up VHS copy of Evil Dead II. But this is all getting a little ahead of things.

My love for Bruce and Sam and all things Evil Dead harkens back to the late 80s. By then, I was fixated on horror movies. I had grown up pretty much afraid of my own shadow. I had the old kid fears of waking up to find a ghost or an alien materializing in my room. I froze under my sheets when I heard any odd noises (read: the wind rustling the trees) outside of my bedroom window. But like any kid who is scared out of his mind by monsters and other bone-chilling entities, as I got older, I more and more wanted to check ‘em out. Thanks to HBO's countless showing of Poltergeist and the USA networks barely edited-for-television horror flicks (that, inexplicably, they showed on Sunday afternoons - god bless them), my demand got supplied – my bread got buttered with blood, so to speak. I still get stomach bubbles thinking about this particular flick in which the children of a small town get some bad chemicals in them and begin eating the the flesh off the rest of the town folk. I also must have caught the incredibly odd Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0077429) about 83 times. I guess being a scaredy-cat kid prepares the shit out of you to be a horror-loving adult.

The few summers before we were old enough to drive found my friend and myself riding our small ten-speeds to any video store within a non-obnoxious riding distance. However, being a few years shy of seventeen, it was impossible for us to rent any R-rated flicks. So virtually every horror movie was out of our grasp. Well, until it was passed down the adolescent grapevine that there was a video store with an Achilles’ heal. And, thankfully, it was with in biking distance. This particular video store (Video Review, I believe the name was) handed out video cards which had a list of all the ratings printed on it: G PG PG-13 R NR. To obtain a card, a parent or guardian had to co-sign with you. Your parent or guardian also decided the rating level you were allowed, which was then circled using a black magic marker. If the ‘PG’ was circled, you were only allowed to rent ‘G’ and ‘PG’ rated movies. However, and this is where is gets pretty, the cards were first laminated and then the rating was circled…on the plastic. All it took was a dab of rubbing alcohol and a little elbow grease to erase the circle surrounding the restrictive rating (my card was of the infertile 'PG-13' variety.) I performed the surgery and drew a slightly shaky circle around ‘R’. I was not ambitious enough to go for the Holy Grail: ‘NR’, but my friend and I were on our way.

We wore that place out.

Toxic Avenger, Day of the Dead, Dangerous Toys, anything remotely horror-related that we could get our hooks on. Around this time, I was reading through one of Roger Ebert’s video guides, and noticed that he gave high marks (3 stars, in fact: http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_...4/227094.html) to a movie called Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn. I couldn’t believe it. A respected movie critic showing his love for a horror flick? A sequel to a horror flick, no less. Could it possibly be something special, I thought to myself. And, as all readers of the Creature Corner and hopefully all readers of CHUD in general know: special is quite an understatement.

For me and my buddy, Evil Dead II was an eye-opener. We couldn’t believe the humor, the lines - the dubbed in Workshed, Swallow This. We rented the movie so much that the manager of the video store bought us our own copy of it – the same copy I later had signed by the man himself. We played the movie at friends' houses, after our first Prom - I even got away with playing it at a church youth group movie night. In fact, the first time I heard Surround Sound, Evil Dead II was twirling away in the VCR. I was amazed that I never noticed all the little background sounds the Raimi packed into the flick.

Like any lover of the movies, I became obsessed with anything Bruce or Sam related. I used to walk through the video store, looking at box covers or turning them over to scan the cast list in hopes to see the name ‘Bruce Campbell (remember the days before the internet?) I found both Moontrap and Mindwarp this way. Even at college, I used to read through Weekly Variety and peruse the films in production hoping to see Bruce Campbell or Sam Raimi, or crap, even Dan Hicks listed.

The day that Army of Darkness hit theaters was a painful one for me. (Do you guys remember when the commercial spots for it started showing up on television? Surreal) Anyway, I had followed the making of it for a long time (I still have that great issue of Cinefantastique with the huge 'making of' stuff.) Anyway, I had no way of going to see it. I was stuck in a college town with no car, no friend’s with a car. I was desperate that week, panhandling for rides from people I barely knew. I finally made it and witnessed that piece of celluloid magic in a theater packed with six people. To this day it is still my favorite theater-going experience ('Lost Boys' coming in at a distance second, but that is another story.)

I met Bruce when he gave a talk in East Lansing, Michigan. My girlfriend lived in Detroit at the time, and I had a good friend who was in the Geology program at Michigan State. He informed me that Bruce was screening a movie he produced (Hatred of a Minute, I believe it was called) and he was going to speak after the showing. I made plans to visit my girlfriend and we made the screening.

Sitting through Hatred of a Minute was pretty much a torturous experince. I don't know how many of you die-hards have seen it, but it's a very low-budget slasher flick. After the movie ended, it turned into a Q & A with the film's director. The great thing about that movie is that the director was a huge fan of Bruce and Sam's and Bruce took the guy under his wing and produced his crappy movie. If that ain't fan dedication, I don't know what is.

Anyway, Bruce, being the great host he is, started jumping in on every question directed at the director and then started talking about his experience in Hollywood (some of which, I imagine, is covered in If Chins Could Kill. He was like a stand-up comedian. By the way, this was post-Brisco and pre-McHale's Navy. Anyway, I stood in line and got my video signed. Bruce signed it to me and my buddy. And it was a great way to top all the time we invested in that flick.

It's funny, writing this, to see about how much the love of Evil Dead II has informed my love for movies, plugged into my love for creativity. Crud, this is long. Thanks for reading it.


[This message has been edited by Kevin Matchstick (edited 06-15-2001).]

Nice goin', DB. Really nifty story.