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ONLINE CRITICS (Chewers) PICK 100 WORST DIRECTORIAL DEBUTS

post #1 of 28
10/6/10 at 6:16am
Thread Starter 
Inspired by this: http://chud.com/articles/articles/25...IST/Page1.html I got to thinking about great filmmakers who started inauspiciously. Apparently Kubrick fought tooth and nail to make sure Fear and Desire never saw the light of day, and there's James Cameron's feature debut.

Any thoughts on other good(bad) ones?
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post #2 of 28
10/6/10 at 1:49pm
I don't think Peter Bogdanovich is very proud of VOYAGE TO THE PLANET OF PREHISTORIC WOMEN. He took a pseudonym.

TONIGHT FOR SURE - Coppola's nudie.

WIDE AWAKE - an embarrassment, but in retrospect may be preferable to the last four (!) Shyamalan turkeys.
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post #3 of 28
10/7/10 at 1:12am
Even with its defenders, Alien 3 deserves a place on this list.
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post #4 of 28
10/10/10 at 11:20pm
"Slacker"
I love "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" and have enjoyed other Richard Linklater movies I've seen, but this movie was torture to watch. Unbearably pretentious and boring.

"The Virgin Suicides"
I'm a big fan of "Lost in Translation", but I found this too over-the-top melodramatic. Katherine Turner's character was laughably evil too, making her daughter burn her records in a fire.

I forsee this becoming a "your taste sucks" thread.
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post #5 of 28
10/10/10 at 11:52pm
Kinda surprised that THX-1138 and Body Heat didn't make the list. I mean, they're both superior to Blair Witch, Chicago and Virgin Suicides. Weird.
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post #6 of 28
10/11/10 at 12:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malmordo View Post
WIDE AWAKE - an embarrassment, but in retrospect may be preferable to the last four (!) Shyamalan turkeys.
NOT his debut! He buried his first film, but I saw it theatrically.

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post #7 of 28
10/11/10 at 12:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naisu Baddi View Post
I forsee this becoming a "your taste sucks" thread.
These threads always do.

I submit House of 1,000 Corpses. Sure, Zombie's only made one good movie since then, but I'm counting it anyway.
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post #8 of 28
10/11/10 at 12:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naisu Baddi View Post
"Slacker"
I love "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset" and have enjoyed other Richard Linklater movies I've seen, but this movie was torture to watch. Unbearably pretentious and boring.

"The Virgin Suicides"
I'm a big fan of "Lost in Translation", but I found this too over-the-top melodramatic. Katherine Turner's character was laughably evil too, making her daughter burn her records in a fire.

I forsee this becoming a "your taste sucks" thread.
It happened in the two paragraphs preceding this prediction, Nostradamus.
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post #9 of 28
10/11/10 at 9:54am
I'll go with Harmony Korine and Gummo. It's a film that I can appreciate because it openly invites you to hate it, but ultimately I find Gummo to be a really shallow piece of exploitation. There's no righteous indignation in my criticism, I'm hardly passionate about the dignity of white trash, but I found the film to be...not aimless, but reaching for something Korine can't attain. It's not pretentious, it's masturbatory.


Oh, and a less controversial a choice I think: Alexandre Aja and Haute Tension. Piranha 3D is way worse (yeah, I said it) in that it never promises to be anything but a bunch of boring, pandering bullshit, but Haute Tension goes from fair to fuck you in less than 90 minutes and never looks back. Terrible.
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post #10 of 28
10/11/10 at 7:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
NOT his debut! He buried his first film, but I saw it theatrically.
He was the star? Had to be awful. Good lord.

Thanks for the correction. I read an interview around the time of THE SIXTH SENSE where either Shyamalan or the writer referred to WIDE AWAKE as a debut. So, yeah, there must have been some burying going on.
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post #11 of 28
10/11/10 at 7:48pm
It was fucking dreadful. But to be fair, he was 22 and it was funded by relatives
Still, I had to pay regular admission to see the thing.
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post #12 of 28
10/11/10 at 7:53pm
STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER - Director: William Shatner
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post #13 of 28
10/11/10 at 8:08pm
Consensus seems to be that Gondry's Human Nature is pretty limp, but I've yet to catch it. Anyone able to confirm or deny?
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post #14 of 28
10/11/10 at 8:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul C View Post
Consensus seems to be that Gondry's Human Nature is pretty limp, but I've yet to catch it. Anyone able to confirm or deny?
It's not great, but is not without merit and certainly doesn't belong on this list.
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post #15 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdrianDyka View Post
It's not great, but is not without merit and certainly doesn't belong on this list.
Seconded. I didn't love it, but it's certainly no embarrassment.
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post #16 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:14pm
So we mention "Slacker" and "Virgin Suicides" before we mention "The Room"? C'mon, people.
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post #17 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:14pm
I remember after seeing "Predator", "Die Hard" and "The Hunt For Red October", I searched out John McTiernan's first film, "Nomads". What Joel Silver saw in that to give McTiernan his break I'll never be able to figure out (though I'm glad he did).
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post #18 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangy View Post
So we mention "Slacker" and "Virgin Suicides" before we mention "The Room"? C'mon, people.
I think we should wait for Wiseau to make more movies before calling The Room his "debut film". I know technically it still is, but I don't know if we should even be calling him a filmmaker.
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post #19 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David View Post
I think we should wait for Wiseau to make more movies before calling The Room his "debut film". I know technically it still is, but I don't know if we should even be calling him a filmmaker.
So you're saying "The House That Drips Blood on Alex" won't be coming out tomorrow?

Seriously, I do understand your point. Wiseau is less of a filmmaker than this generation's Harold P. Warren. Still, when I think "shitty debuts," I think of The Room before the other films mentioned.
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post #20 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangy View Post
So you're saying "The House That Drips Blood on Alex" won't be coming out tomorrow?
If I still had faith in humanity, you'd have just crushed it.
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post #21 of 28
10/12/10 at 5:40pm
Yeah, this isn't the thread for movies you don't like. This is the thread for the worst debuts ever. Virgin Suicides, Slacker, and even (as much as I dislike it) ALIEN3 simply don't belong on this list.

Of course, the stuff that probably does, like Glen or Glenda or whatever the hell Jess Franco's first movie is, are probably not widely seen. Also, ironically, The Sword and the Sorceror is probably Albert Pyun's best movie.

Human Nature is probably the worst Charlie Kaufman-scripted movie, but it's still a Charlie Kaufman-scripted movie, and therefore pretty great.
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post #22 of 28
10/12/10 at 9:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prankster View Post
Human Nature is probably the worst Charlie Kaufman-scripted movie, but it's still a Charlie Kaufman-scripted movie, and therefore pretty great.
Not a terrible movie, though since we're on the subject of Kaufman and directorial debuts ... CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND. Clooney gets decent performances from the actors but his style is too self-conscious and derivative. You can see how much he improved with GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. I'll just pretend LEATHERHEADS doesn't exist.
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post #23 of 28
10/12/10 at 11:25pm
Peter Berg's Very Bad Things. Hateful characters, not at all funny, excruciating to sit through. (He quickly bounced back with The Rundown, Friday Night Lights and The Kingdom)
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post #24 of 28
10/13/10 at 12:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malmordo View Post
Not a terrible movie, though since we're on the subject of Kaufman and directorial debuts ... CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND. Clooney gets decent performances from the actors but his style is too self-conscious and derivative. You can see how much he improved with GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. I'll just pretend LEATHERHEADS doesn't exist.
Okay, again, that is nowhere near being a terrible movie. Basically, you're docking it points because Clooney got better as he went along, which is what's supposed to happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Hughes View Post
Peter Berg's Very Bad Things. Hateful characters, not at all funny, excruciating to sit through. (He quickly bounced back with The Rundown, Friday Night Lights and The Kingdom)
Now this is the truth. Damn, that's an awful film. I was shocked that Berg turned out to have any grasp of filmmaking at all after that.
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post #25 of 28
10/13/10 at 2:26am
Didn't Quentin Tarantino do his very best to try to destroy My Best Friend's Birthday.?
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post #26 of 28
10/13/10 at 10:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg David View Post
Okay, again, that is nowhere near being a terrible movie. Basically, you're docking it points because Clooney got better as he went along, which is what's supposed to happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malmordo
Not a terrible movie, though since we're on the subject of Kaufman and directorial debuts ... CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND.
Clooney may have gotten better as a director, but you're not getting any better as a reader.
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post #27 of 28
10/13/10 at 1:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
NOT his debut! He buried his first film, but I saw it theatrically.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
It was fucking dreadful. But to be fair, he was 22 and it was funded by relatives
Still, I had to pay regular admission to see the thing.
I'd love to see it. I think I've already proven that I won't give all his movies a good review.

What's the twist? He's not angry after all?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sleeplesslumber View Post
Didn't Quentin Tarantino do his very best to try to destroy My Best Friend's Birthday.?
Pretty sure that film was never actually completed or released.

I'm not sure what to put on this list... But I can tell you that Emilio Estevez's Wisdom is the kind of movie where you hope the person who made it is never allowed to take part in any sort of creative endeavor for the rest of his (hopefully short) life.
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post #28 of 28
10/13/10 at 6:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malmordo View Post
Clooney may have gotten better as a director, but you're not getting any better as a reader.
But if you admit that it's not terrible, why are you bringing it up in the context of worst directorial debuts?
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