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My Baby Just Spoke... He's creepy.

post #1 of 21
10/16/10 at 10:54pm
Thread Starter 
Ok, so today my baby boy turned 6 months old. Happy times all around, especially considering he spent only 2 weeks out of the hospital his first 2 months out the womb. Anyway, he's a warrior now and we're happy. So we get to today and his mother and I have been trying to get him to say Mama or Papa for a few weeks now. I figured it should happen soon since the boy is pretty big (he wears 9mos - 12mos baby clothing comfortably).

Well, the little fat boy spoke finally. After crapping his diaper. My wife was holding him in her lap waiting for him to stop grunting/pushing. When he finished, she asked him "Are you good?"

He responded "I'm good."

I can get used to my baby laughing every time someone on TV is in any kind of pain. Or in the hospital when other children cried. Or when his older brother is being scolded. His acceleration in growth is starting to creep me out a bit. I'm really expecting a "Little Man Tate" situation soon and see him reading plate manufacturers.

Ok, just wanted to share our "joyous" day.
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post #2 of 21
10/16/10 at 10:57pm
Parenting sounds magical.
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post #3 of 21
10/16/10 at 11:03pm
I'm thinking he said, "I'm God." You're now to get on your knees and beg.
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post #4 of 21
10/16/10 at 11:04pm
He could have been saying "I'm Zod". In that case, kneeling is mandatory.
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post #5 of 21
10/16/10 at 11:16pm
Next thing you know, your kid will be calling in to the CHUD show for sex advice.
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post #6 of 21
10/17/10 at 1:28am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erik Wacker View Post
Next thing you know, your kid will be calling in to the CHUD show for sex advice.
More likely giving his 10 year old older brother sex advice. But if he ends up 26 and a billionaire like Mark Zuckerberg, then I can accept all his little "quirks".
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post #7 of 21
10/17/10 at 6:16pm
oh, the possibilities:
Quote:
My audit group's Group Manager and his wife have an infant I can describe only as fierce. Its expression is fierce; its demeanor is fierce; its gaze over bottle or pacifier or finger-fierce, intimidating, aggressive. I have never heard it cry. When it feeds or sleeps, its pale face reddens, which makes it look all the fiercer. On those workdays when our Group Manager, Mr. Yeagle, brought it in to the District office, hanging papoose-style in a nylon device on his back, the infant appeared to be riding him as a mahout does an elephant. It hung there, radiating authority. Its back lay directly against Mr. Yeagle's, its large head resting in the hollow of its father's neck and forcing our Group Manager's head out and down into a posture of classic oppression. They made a creature with two faces, one of which was calm and blandly adult and the other unformed and yet emphatically fierce. The infant never wiggled or fussed in the device. Its gaze around the corridor at the rest of us gathered waiting for the morning elevator was level and unblinking and (it seemed) almost accusing. The infant's face, as I experienced it, was mostly eyes and lower lip, its nose a mere pinch, its forehead milky and domed, its pale red hair wispy, no eyebrows or lashes or even eyelids I could see. I never saw it blink. Its features seemed suggestions only. It had roughly as much face as a whale does. I did not like it at all.
http://www.harpers.org/media/pdf/dfw...02-0081893.pdf
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post #8 of 21
10/17/10 at 6:31pm
You should avoid showing your baby TV before he is two, but other than that congrats. Glad to hear he's 'good'!

PS My first words were stick, squirrel and flag
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post #9 of 21
10/17/10 at 6:46pm
Best part of the above story:

Quote:
[it] had placed its tiny folded hands adultly together before him on the vivid blue plastic of its play station (I noted that one of the elastic wristlets of its yellow chamois jumper was soaked through with saliva and appeared, for several inches up the infant's forearm, darker than the other wristlet, which the infant appeared to ignore and I certainly did not mention or foresee doing anything about), exactly as Mr. Yeagle or any of the other Group Managers or District Commissioner's senior staff might place their clasped hands before them on the desk to signal that you and the issue that had
brought you into their office now occupied their full attention, and cleared its throat again-for it had indeed been it, he, the infant, who, like any other Group Manager, had cleared its throat in an expectant way in order to get my attention and at the same time in some subtle way to upbraid me for
requiring it to do something to get my attention, as if I had been daydreaming or digressing mentally from some issue at hand-and, gazing at me fiercely, said - yes, said, in a high and I-deficient but unmistakable
voice-

"Well?"
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post #10 of 21
10/17/10 at 9:18pm
Whatever you do, don't let him watch Village Of The Damned. He might start getting ideas.
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post #11 of 21
10/18/10 at 10:57am
Thread Starter 
Quick update:

My kid keeps saying "I'm good." every so often. And of course, no one in my family or friends believes me when I tell them that he's spoken. I'm sort of expecting him to be chilling alone with me one day and say under his breath "Kill her." I have a creepy son. Oh, and he's screeching like a banshee now for his own amusement.
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post #12 of 21
10/18/10 at 11:06am
If you think things won't get creepier, think again. Wait till you hear another word. Then try to make a connection...

And my son also laughed at physical humour (me or others in pain) since he was that age. It's magical. Make him watch The 3 Stooges when he's a bit older.
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post #13 of 21
10/18/10 at 12:46pm
I don't want kids now thanks y'all
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post #14 of 21
10/18/10 at 4:07pm
It's cool cuz you apparently can't get any...
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post #15 of 21
10/18/10 at 4:17pm
Does your baby have a nanny, and if so, has she hung herself?
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post #16 of 21
10/18/10 at 4:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by donde View Post
Quick update:

My kid keeps saying "I'm good." every so often. And of course, no one in my family or friends believes me when I tell them that he's spoken. I'm sort of expecting him to be chilling alone with me one day and say under his breath "Kill her." I have a creepy son. Oh, and he's screeching like a banshee now for his own amusement.
How do you know he hasn't muttered "Kill him." to your wife? Better start checking your food.
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post #17 of 21
10/18/10 at 7:17pm
Very nice. I needed this this afternoon. I might sell my son. One ginger 6 year old for sale cheap.
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post #18 of 21
10/18/10 at 7:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin S View Post
It's cool cuz you apparently can't get any...


But at least I'm trying now!
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post #19 of 21
10/18/10 at 8:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlad View Post
IS THAT ALL THERE IS?!

I want more! I do not feel satisfied!
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post #20 of 21
10/19/10 at 6:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey Moore View Post
Very nice. I needed this this afternoon. I might sell my son. One ginger 6 year old for sale cheap.
Any other flavors?
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post #21 of 21
10/19/10 at 10:49am
Sorry. Only the Ginger. He is back on the no sell list this morning. That could change about 3:30 pm my time when I find out how he did at school today.
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