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HELLRAISER, BUT - YOU KNOW - FOR KIDS.

post #1 of 31
10/19/10 at 9:50pm
Thread Starter 
Did Dimension expect any Hoop-la over a PG-13 HELLRAISER?

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post #2 of 31
10/19/10 at 9:55pm
What's funny about this is that Christian E. Christiansen is not directing the film, and this rumor running rampant across the internet is false.
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post #3 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:00pm
PG-13? Jesus wept.
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post #4 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:02pm
It's not PG-13. I don't know where Bloody-Disgusting got this story, which everyone has picked up on, but it's false.

A director is signed for Hellraiser. It is not Christian E. Christiansen. The story is not teen-friendly or PG-13.
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post #5 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:04pm
I wish the cenobites would take me.
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post #6 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:21pm
Regardless of rumors, a Hellraiser remake would need to be very deeply rooted in the themes presented the Clive Barker original, or else the movie would be worthless. Sexuality, obsessions, destruction of innocence and extreme perversion are very much needed along with depravity, malice, sadism and masochism. These elements with attention to transferring pain and pleasure to the audience through brutal visualizations would make for great cinema. I'm sure no one will do this justice and wind up making a mediocre movie, cheapening the material for those who aren't really familiar. It's bad enough that many young adults have seen Hellraiser sequels first. Sucks to think someone is comparing the original to crap like Deader and Hellworld. I do like Hellbound and Hell on Earth was fun when it played on late night Cinemax. No worries though, Hellraiser is still around and probably will be for good.
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post #7 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by andrewhawkins View Post
Sexuality, obsessions, destruction of innocence and extreme perversion are very much needed along with depravity, malice, sadism and masochism.
But for kids!
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post #8 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:30pm
You know, for kids!
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post #9 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by zak chase View Post
PG-13? Jesus wept.
Ahem. That's, "Jesse Wept."
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post #10 of 31
10/19/10 at 10:50pm
Somebody photoshop Norville from Hudsucker Proxy giving his presentation to the board with Hellraiser's cenobite dimension behind him.
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post #11 of 31
10/19/10 at 11:08pm
"What's your pleasure Mr. Weinstein?"

"Hellraiser. PG-13."

"Here, open this box, and your wish will come true."

*Opens box*

"A PG-13? You must be teasing us? Are you teasing us?"

"We have such sights to show you, Mr. Weinstein."
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post #12 of 31
10/19/10 at 11:14pm
I wasn't really holding out hope for a good Hellraiser remake to begin with, honestly. It's such a specific thing that film does that makes it work, it's hard to imagine that ever happening again without a really talented director attached. Not saying it couldn't happen, Aja did a good job with Piranha 3D under the very same studio, but it seemed like a long-shot even if it had an R rating.
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post #13 of 31
10/20/10 at 12:08am
What's the point of a remake you ask? It's a quick and dirty cash grab. That's it. No other reason. As with all of the other horror remakes, they were simply made for one reason and that's to make some quick cash.
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post #14 of 31
10/20/10 at 1:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Francis Wolcott View Post
Somebody photoshop Norville from Hudsucker Proxy giving his presentation to the board with Hellraiser's cenobite dimension behind him.


Do the "kids of today" even recognize Pinhead as iconic?
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post #15 of 31
10/20/10 at 1:50am
I don't think "kids of today" recognize anything as iconic.
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post #16 of 31
10/20/10 at 1:51am
Probably less from the actual movie.

If the killer/costume from Scream is more known? That'd make me sad.
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post #17 of 31
10/20/10 at 2:01am
Just seems like most people wouldn't care. Opening weeked they'd be deciding on the basis that it's a horror film, not a Hellraiser movie with Pinhead. Kind of hard to get up in arms about remaking this in anyway since they've pretty much ran the franchise into the ground on DTV. I could ask, why PG-13, but why'd they turn the DTV films into episodes of Night Gallery with Pinhead cameos?
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post #18 of 31
10/20/10 at 2:20am
Worst Case Scenarios PG13:

Puzzlebox = iPhone App

Pinhead is a Hillbilly

Teenagers are present, speak


Whatever the rating, Frank's Ressurection = Somehow not as impressive
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post #19 of 31
10/20/10 at 3:07am
If the rumors aren't true, I'd still have to say that it's a completely unneeded film. It's in color, it's in English, it still holds up brilliantly, watch the first one instead.

If the rumors are true, I'd have to request that each and everyone involved with this must be forcibly drowned in a pool of pig semen.
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post #20 of 31
10/20/10 at 3:19am
Heckraiser.
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post #21 of 31
10/20/10 at 3:56am
instead of chains its robes that give indian arm burns
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post #22 of 31
10/20/10 at 7:26am
What a new Hellraiser movie should be and have:
- named "The Hellbound Heart"
- dark, sinister
- topics of sexual phantasies, desires, pain, torture, suffering
- only few explanations, most of the stuff just "is"
- mostly adults in the lead roles
- a bunch of terrifying cenobites, not one with nails in his head, just threatening
- very quiet credit score, think Blair Witch Project

Se7en meets Giger meets the hell scenes from Event Horizon.

What a new Hellraiser movie will probably be:
- named "Hellraiser 3D"
- Pinhead cast with a well-known actor, him being a major villain role with oneliners
- action, the cenobites will attack, big showdown as in Silent Hill
- gratious, but useless nudity
- complete explanation of everything including Pinheads story
- chains will go into the camera (audience), maybe even chain pov
- modern cenobites: ipod cenobite, probably cgi enhanced
- a web component, Pinhead tweets from hell or something like that
- credits blast down with rock music blazing
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post #23 of 31
10/20/10 at 8:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
Heckraiser.
Dammit, you beat me to it, though I was thinking more along the lines of Awshucksraiser.
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post #24 of 31
10/20/10 at 9:49am
Even if this turns out to be false, the fact that the state of the film industry is such that a PG-13 Hellraiser even seems possible, is really fucking sad.

Seriously, look at that combination of words. PG-13 Hellraiser. They look funny even when simply put next to each other.
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post #25 of 31
10/20/10 at 11:54am
Color me a cock-eyed optimist (I know, I know), but, if written well, a PG-13 Hellraiser could be possible. It's possible to present Barker's original themes in a non-graphic way. It would be hard, it would take a long time to write, but it's not impossible. And really, they show an edited version of the original film on the Sci-Fi channel and AMC, so it is possible to get a fair amount of gore in even without an R rating.

Now, is it improbable...yes. Obviously this is just exploiting the iconic imagery of Pinhead, so yeah, it will be like Silent Hill. Only with some sex and Vince Vaughn cast as Pinhead.
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post #26 of 31
10/20/10 at 12:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Dnim View Post
Do the "kids of today" even recognize Pinhead as iconic?
Kids these days trade in ironic, not iconic.
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post #27 of 31
10/20/10 at 12:44pm
Can't they just remake or sequelize NIGHTBREED instead? I want more Cabal dammit!
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post #28 of 31
10/20/10 at 3:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
Can't they just remake or sequelize NIGHTBREED instead? I want more Cabal dammit!
Fuck all that. I want my WEAVEWORLD cable miniseries.
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post #29 of 31
10/20/10 at 3:41pm
You know, I'd say something about this, but I feel like recently a lot of my posts have revolved around how unexciting, shitty, or pointless [property] sounds. This sounds like all three.

Like The Crow, there's almost no value in remaking this film for a contemporary mainstream audience that largely has no idea who these iconic characters are. Seriously, who (outside of the sorts of people who post on boards like CHUD's) remembers Pinhead at all?
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post #30 of 31
10/20/10 at 11:53pm
So all this was basically bullshit.
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post #31 of 31
10/20/10 at 11:55pm
Mm-hmm.
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