Question for Chewer parents

Paranoia.

Enjoy a little sleep at the hospital while you can, you'll need it.

Paranoia. Plus you may have absolutely no choice in the matter if either the baby or your wife need specific care. You can certainly have the baby with you, or be in the baby's presence as much as possible, but sometimes you've got to let them do their job. What horror stories are you being presented with?

Wait ... you're in Cleveland? God, don't let the baby out of your sight for a second!

There are reasons for the baby to leave the room. My son was taken away when he had a certain extra piece of skin removed. I could've accompanied him for that, but didnt' feel as if it was in my best interest to witness. My daughter had some complications during birth and was whisked away while I stayed with her mother.

Both children were returned to our safety and care (after hundreds of thousands of dollars in ransom).

Paranoia. Complete and utter paranoia.

I'm with El Cap on this one. If you get a chance to get one last uninterrupted night of sleep you take it. It's going to be some time before you see the likes of that again.

It's a parenting style choice. Attachment parenting brings with it thoughts on things that are done in a hospital setting that many people do not agree is in the best interests of the child. It's a return to pregnancy and the birth process being a natural phenomena versus a disease process that must be treated at every step of the game.

Google "birth plans" and you will see documents that allow you to stay in charge of your birth instead of going through the baby mill that most delivery wards have become.

It starts with your choices for your birth, not so much with the appearance of the baby. If you have some more specific questions I can answer them via PM if need be.

Insane paranoia. These are the people that buy into the no-vaccine insanity.

Lunacy. Doctors are professionals and know what they're doing. If your doctor isn't a quack, trust him/her to do his/her best for your child.

All of this stuff is bat shit.

Who told you this? My guess is someone who is a 9/11 truther or watches too many 'babies switched at birth!' Lifetime movies.

Most hospitals these days tag your newborn like a new car, LoJack and all. The tags don't come off until they check you out. Every time they take the baby or bring the baby back they check the tag. While it is possible someone with an inkling to go crazy can steal your child, or switch your child with another, the odds are probably the same as winning the lottery.

You will probably get one night in the hospital to get 6 or so hours of sleep between feedings when the nurse takes the baby. Take full advantage of it, trust me. And CONGRATS on the new baby.

If one is really that concerned about doctors and nurses because they "don't know where they've been", what is one doing in a hospital in the first place? Hire a midwife.

I've been working with parents for over twenty years now, and I swear they're getting more paranoid every year. I blame the media.

This is exactly right. Every maternity ward I've been to in the last ten years has better security protocols than Fort Knox. You, your wife, and the baby will all have ID bracelets with matching serial numbers, and they always check the tags.

Rest, relax, and enjoy the partially subsidized cafeteria.

Depends on the hospital. You should know who is taking your baby, why and where. If you are unsure of the person or the reason, they should be ok with you telling them so and they will bring your OB or pediatrician or nurse in to confirm that they are really hospital staff and really supposed to be doing whatever. Also you can usually stay with the baby for anything that is done.

Where I gave birth, baby and mom are given matching bands which are checked every time the nurse comes in the room, and the baby's band will set off an alarm if the baby gets near the elevator, stairs or otherwise leaves the floor. L&D staff have special ID badges and proactively identify themselves and where they are taking the baby, why, and when they will be back. Our baby left only for his circumcision and they did some testing while he was off with the OB.

I'll (at least somewhat) disagree with what most are saying here.

While I don't think it is NECESSARY to be that cautious, my wife (who is in the medical field) and I WERE that cautious.

Now, if something serious is going on, and the baby needs to be rushed off to another room for a good reason, that is another issue. I, however, let my wife rest up and went with the nurses whenever they took my daughter (I remember two reasons for them taking her... baths and weigh-ins), and neither time did the nurses seem to mind at all that I wanted to tag along (in fact, they seemed pretty happy and chatted a lot with me).

I'll act the same way for any other children we have as well (regardless of hospital), and I don't think it is paranoia. The odds of something happening are small, but the things that could happen are serious enough that the extremely minimal amount of time and effort it took from my day (and I can't stress this enough... we're talking about 20-30 minutes of time over 3-4 days which is insignificant) was worth it. Plus, I often used the time to get some pictures and video when the nurses said it was ok (like during her first bath).

So, you don't have to be that cautious, but I wouldn't let anyone talk you out of it if that is what you or your wife decide you want. This is a tiny, helpless little life-form that is now your responsibility, so I don't really understand why people would consider someone excessively paranoid just for wanting to keep an eye on their child at this stage.

All it takes is one person to do one (intentional or accidental) thing. With a child that small and helpless, I'll take that 5-10 minutes out of my busy "crashing in a hospital room" schedule to keep an eye on the new most important thing in my life.

Heck, if a nurse wanted to take my smartphone out of the room to weigh it, I'd make the nurse let me go with them!

It's all a simple cost/benefit analysis. :P

But what are the nurses going to do with the infant that you're going to know is the wrong thing to do? If the prospective parent has the medical training to know that, I can see wanting to observe everything. But what are you actually watching for?

Well, my wife is in pediatrics, but me personally... outside of training nurses early in their education in some non-medical stuff (cognitive development and such), I'm not so worried about the strictly "medical" knowledge issues.

I'm more worried about accidents and direct negligence. I would want to be there (mostly) so I could either
a) stop it
or
b) know that it happened.

Plenty of times a nurse is alone with your child. If she does something overtly wrong (accidental or otherwise), do you think the nurse is likely to report it? It could cost them their job.

If my newborn daughter is going to be lifted onto a scale, I want to be the one to lift her and place her there (just for an example).

However, if my newborn is going to have heart surgery, I want a pediatric cardiologist to do it. :P

Do people have some profound reason for trusting in the basic physical capabilities, honesty, and moral integrity of nurses? They are just regular people, capable of both wonderful and horrible things (as well as accidents).


(There is also the possibility of baby theft... and I didn't really mention that in the main part of my post because the chances of that are slim, but knowing numerous doctors and nurses, they usually all tell me that they at least "feel like" they could walk out with a baby with no real hindrance, not very comforting!)


But AGAIN, cost/benefit analysis.

If
(the odds of something happening x how bad that thing happening is) - (cost to prevent it)
is greater than 0, then I say pay the cost.

In this case, the cost is SOOOOO small (5-10 minute of my time a day), that I am gladly willing to pay it for the chance at possibly preventing something (or noticing that it happened so that it can receive proper treatment).

Well I guess we're coming from opposite poles, as my question would be "Do people have some profound reason for not trusting them?". Like I said, if you have an inherent distrust of hospitals and their staff, there are alternatives. Just don't go that route. If you are going that route, it must mean that you have some inherent trust that they're professionals who are capable of doing their jobs better than the alternatives.

Personally, I think this is part of the modern fear-based paranoia that American culture has taken on, in large part due to the relentless shrieking of the 24-hour news channels that stand to gain from keeping people in a constant state of unease. By feeding us a constant diet of true horror stories, they amp up their significance, and make it look not only like this happens all the time, but that it could very easily happen to YOU!

In particular, there's a whole industry built around making parents feel that they're not doing enough for their children. It's highly profitable because parents are easily made insecure, and make good marks.

I know the pros and cons of home versus hospital birth.

My wife's mother had numerous problems (both getting pregnant and with both of her deliveries), and we had reason to worry about my wife. She did end up pushing into pre-eclampsia territory, so we were glad we were in a hospital. Home birth is great... unless there is a major problem, then you want to be as close to the experts as possible.

Also... nurses are NOT experts (no offense to nurses out there). And we wanted to be close to the top doctors in the state in case there was a problem.

Plus, our student insurance at the time gave us pretty much zero options.

Sometimes you have to go a route not because it is perfect, but because it is the lesser of two evils, especially in our current health care environment.

And I don't watch the news or even watch tv (at least tv as it airs normally... I'll get DVDs from Netflix and whatnot and watch a show that I'm interested in).

Anyway, I don't want to make this solely about me, but suffice it to say, not everyone lives in a culture of fear promulgated by the media.

If I told you I spent $100,000 hiring bodyguards to follow my newborn daughter around, you could call me paranoid. I spent... once again... 5 MINUTES or so a day for a few days to do this. This is the part that gets to me. Maybe it is because I do a lot of statistics or something, but the cost for the extra "security" or peace of mind (whatever you want to call it) is so small, that it seems almost absurd not to do it.

And to answer your question, "Do people have some profound reason for not trusting them?"

Yes: see pretty much the entire field of social psychology. Ok, maybe a slight overstatement, but the idea that random people certified in the health field are more deserving of my trust than any other random person is a little absurd. And if you think 99.99999% of people are highly ethical, once again, I can start pointing you at a plethora of social psychology journals to get you started.

Maybe it is because of the fields that my wife and I are in... but the real question is, "Do people have some profound reason for me TO trust them."

Anyway, the crux of my point was supposed to be: the 'extra cost' you are paying is so small, why not do it.

And morphed into: you shouldn't feel obligated to blindly trust everyone who is a "professional" because they are just people, and people fell others and themselves every day in both simple and profound ways... but I don't want that happening when it can permanently affect the life of someone I love.

(Both of which are true in my opinion.)

Especially because this amazing protection as a result of my apparently insane paranoia comes at almost no cost! Now I sound like a salesmen. So, anyone buying this?

Sorry, had to backtrack a bit.

But, WHAT??? Does this make any sense? If you don't trust the nurses and doctors, why is a midwife any better? Do we keep better account of our midwife's than we do our nurses?

Let's go to someone I trust just as much (or little), but with less medical knowledge! Yay!

I shortened it for you -- "Because it's my kid and I want to..."

I was whisked away to an entirely different hospital for surgery when I was born. This is paranoia.

A british guy from another board I frequent, had his son born in a US hospital. He was out for a while and when he got back the nurse was on her way to take his son away for circumcision, which no-one had asked the parents about. In fact after he stated his intention to not have his son circumcised, the nurses and the doctors tried their best to talk them into having the procedure done. So I guess it depends, do you want to have you child mutilated or not?

It's worth noting that KungFuMonkeyMike is also from Ohio, must be the water.

Look, if it's to the point that you're asking strangers on the internet for advise, you should probably stay with your kid because you're already paranoid.

Thank you, Glenn Beck.

Seriously... wtf?

Didn't read most of the thread, but the only reason I didn't want the baby out of my sight while in the hospital is because I didn't want the nurses giving him a bottle for any reason. Luckily I had a nurse in L&D who was really supportive and made sure the nursing staff knew not to give him a bottle. Still, he stayed with me most of the time.

That's the only reason I could fathom not wanting your baby out of your sight. Of course, most women aren't in the hospital longer than about 18-24 hours these days, so it doesn't really matter in the long run.

Our son was taken from us after a couple of hours of visitation. The doctors told us they had to check something. After an hour and half we were very concerned.

Eventually the doctor returned to tell us our son had breathing problems and had to be transported to Duke Medical via ambulance. So my wife and I were scared shitless. Yes we saw our son connected to breathing machines and was not able to ride with our son in the ambulance to the Duke.

But once he got into the Neonatal intensive care unit, we were able to see him. Doctors ran tests, said he was perfectly fine. They think he had a slight breathing hiccup.

Regardless, my son had to stay at Duke for a week to run tests. The nurses were confused because my son was the biggest baby in the prenatal unit.. breathing fine, and never understood why he was admitted.

So basically after 2 days, my wife and I had to make visits to the hospital to see our son.. and pray he was in good hands when we were not there.

Well after 10 days, and $81,000 later our son finally came home. Make sure you have excellent insurance if you are having a baby.

Long story short. Doctors usually have a reason for taking your child away.

There's nothing wrong with the water, trust me. We have a 17 month old, and unless your daughter is born in the afternoon with little labor time and you're all awake and happy...fine, stick with her and enjoy. Ours slithered out late and we were both fucking exhausted. The nurse taking the baby to the nursery so we could rest was great.

They'll take your baby's talents to South Beach.

I get where kungfu is coming from but it's still paranoia. Seriously, the question "Do people have some profound reason for me TO trust them." is the question of someone who trusts no one to do a job as well as they could do it themselves. Or to not be an immoral douchebag.

If you want to go with your child everywhere after they are born, good on ya. I was there for Miss K's inoculations, her first bath and her post-natal physical. I wanted to witness them for myself and to tell my wife about them - she was asleep because of a very long and difficult birth. But to insinuate that you NEED to keep an eye on your child at all times is insane paranoia.

And, Tzu, you're missing the point of attachment parenting. It's not helicopter parenting, it's deal with issues as they come up (which medical professionals are trained to do as well if not better than I am), not hang over your child every second waiting for something bad to happen.

Weird that this even happens. Over here the baby wouldn't leave the mother's side anyway unless it was a medical emergency. My wife slept in a private room with all three of our kids on the nights of their births. And this was on the NHS, not a private insurer.

Not that I disagree with most here. It's most definitely paranoia.

No, I'm not. I said it is related not necessarily directly attributable. And I am not describing helicopter parenting. I was describing instances where a birth plan might be in place and rotating shift nurses will not be aware of the items on the list and therefore go off with the baby and do something that the parents perhaps specifically didn't want done.

For our first, they came in and asked if we wanted them to take the baby to the nursery so my wife could get some sleep. We agreed. 5 minutes later my paranoia won out and I spent the next hour at the nursery window watching my baby sleep. Eventually, I realized there was no reason to worry. With wife and baby sleeping peacefully, I went down to the cafeteria to relax and eat for the first time in about 12 hours. When I got back an hour later, they were bringing the baby back to our room. My wife said the only thing that allowed her to sleep was knowing I was with our baby the entire time. Oops.

Our second child had a heart condition in the womb. When he was born, the condition immediately corrected itself. But, we had a 3-day stay while they ran a bunch of tests to make sure nothing was wrong. We were well past the paranoia of leaving the baby alone, but my wife and I still wanted at least one of us to be there for all the tests.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who is not in the middle of f'in no where giving birth someplace where they are so philosophically different from their birthing facility. I chose a facility based on several reasons - including but not limited to the quality of neonatal medical care (if the baby had a severe problem, it would be rolled down a hall to the best NICU on the west coast, not transferred across town), but also because it was a place that respected the mother's birth plan. Want pain control? Cool. Want a natural birth? Cool. Want a water birth? Cool. Just check a little box on the admit form (which you send in advance and they will be ready).

Also very true. There is LITTLE reason for the healthy baby to leave the mom's side. It's called "rooming in." That said, most facilities have a literal nursery so you can put your little one under a nurses care and you can sleep if you prefer.

Again, the facility should honor your birth plan (as long as it's not batshit crazy).

Just ask why they want to take the baby out of the room and can they do it in the room. If not, ask if you can accompany the baby. If there is a problem, just tell them you'll have to discuss it with your OB or the baby's pediatrician first, and they should come back later. Be paranoid if you want, it's your baby, and it should (and will) be with one of it's parents virtually 24/7 for years.