THE SPIDER-MAN MUSICAL- WORST THING TO HIT NYC SINCE FLIGHT 175?

I like it.

I'd really love to see a 60 million dollar musical based off of GARGOYLES.

Are those even photos? Most of them look so Photoshopped that you can't tell what's real.

I know very little about this production, but it seems that going a more operatic route (which is what these costumes look like to me) would be preferable to trying to do a realistic looking Spider-Man story on-stage. That Carnage looks like a Korean bootleg action figure, though.

When Annie Leibowitz can't make something look good, you know there's a major problem.

I expect nothing short of a pathetic mess from this musical. But I also reserve the right to eat crow. Though I'm no Julie Taymor fanboy (I think her work is often over-praised) I do think she's a creative visionary, and this may work a lot better in motion. If I were to look at a lot of the costumes and puppetry from The Lion King in static, pre-production shots I'd be non-plussed, as well. But onstage it works incredibly well. But this looks worse than any Lion King stuff could have been.

This.

And the Lion King isn't a great comparison They used artistic shorthand for those costumes, and I got where they were going with that rigt off the bat. This shit would get laughed off by the guys behind Power Rangers.

The grandiose and exaggerated style is very much Taymor's MO, and would seem very at home in Opera. The music is generic rock musical from Bono and the Edge, at least from the stuff I've heard so far I'd describe it as generic.

Consider the chain of events that led from Secret Wars #8 to a picture of Carnage on Broadway. Mind boggling.

All I'm saying is that if I had seen a guy with a gazelle hat on featuring 3 carved gazelles in RUNNING STANCE or this:



Before seeing how well it worked on stage, I would probably be going, "Oh, come on! Really?"

Swiss Miss looks like a Swiss Mistake. I think they need to scrap these villains and reboot with Electro, Mysterio and Kraven the Hunter.

I thought I had read somewhere that they had cast someone in the role of Kraven, so who knows. I kind of want to see this out of pure curiosity, but these pictures look...off. I'm all for re-imagining the looks of these characters, but I don't understand Carnage looking like a bobble-head.

With this thing already being something like $50 million in debt, what are the odds it makes it through a week of performances?

It's been a ridiculously costly production. I can't remember where I was reading or I link it, but it was talking about how they've been working with people who've produced the phenomenally expensive shows for Cirque du Soleil in Vegas. That's all fine and well, but the shows in Vegas can afford to be that expensive because they run several shows a day, unlike NYC.

Yeah, hang on - how the hell do you do a Spider-Man musical and NOT put Kraven in it.

Also, if you need some musical Spider-Man NOW RIGHT NOW, here.

Hilarious.

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is an absolutely terrible title, it sounds like it should be on one of those Polish movie posters.

One could only hope that it's the name of a big musical number. That ends with him turning- on- a light switch.

"SPIDER-MAAAAAN, turn off the dark!"

*click*

POSE

*APPLAUSE AND CHEERS*

Alex, If that is indeed you trolling the trolls in the comments, have an extra drink tonight and pretend it's on me.

"That Spider-Man can really swing!"

You know what happens next.

Paying for my own drinks, sadly. Only one was real.

Alex, you sick genius, that headline is gold.

With all the people getting injured and the budget skyrocketing, is this now a "cursed" production, a la Macbeth. Please say "Yes."

Wow. There's a lot of angry people in that messageboard. *Slinks slowly away in fear*

I'm curious about this. It looks like a car crash. But it looks like the type of car crash that makes you slow down as you pass it out of curiosity. If I lived in NYC, I have to admit that I'd be intrigued enough to buy a ticket.

Well that's given me a right good chuckle on a Tuesday morning. Thanks for that Alex, I can't get the grin off my face.

Wow. Just wow.

Personally, I rather say, "Alex, you sick fuck, that headline is pathetic." That sort of cheap heat headline I'd expect on a less reputable site, but this one... pathetic. I totally agree with the comments on the page, especially the one from Kenny.

It's just unfortunate that the site feels so desperate for web hits that they would allow such a headline (and then a crappy article to boot) to appear just so that they get more traffic due to it being so "edgy" and "controversial", i.e. attention-getting. Sure, I could have posted a comment saying this on the page, but at least I am willing enough to post it here under my forum name.

Haha

Yes you're a very brave boy don't let anyone tell you any different...

It's funny, cause when I wake up in the morning (after making my latte and being all existential and shit) I always do ponder- how do I push the envelope today? Further than I have before? What will really get me those hits I've been looking for?

Surprising how it's taken everyone so long to catch on, but today I feel like I've succeeded. Thanks for being a part of this, everyone.

The envelope was the real winner at the end of the day.

You know what? Since there are hipsters mocking me, I'll put my birth name out there. I, Blair Russell, give a hearty FUCK OFF to Alex Riviello on behalf of the 3000 plus and their friends/families who lost their lives or had to deal with a loved one losing their lives on 9/11/01 who got insulted by a hipster douchebag for cheap laughs in between listens to Sonic Youth. I don't give a shit now if Alex is apparently a mod/admin or whatever. FUCK OFF for using 9/11 as humor. Also, FUCK OFF to CHUD.com for posting an article for shock-jock purposes, when most of that shock jock shit has been passe for years. Being that desperate for attention is just pathetic and shows that things must be hurting since Devin left. What a wretched site this has become to have to resort to 9/11 "humor" to get more page views. And all this for such a stupid subject as a Spiderman musical! Just FUCK OFF, Osama bin CHUD.

You keep fighting that good fight. You're doing gods work.

Just wanted to keep this, for future generations.

It's fantastic. We haven't had a good old fashioned meltdown in ages.

Hipsters? Sonic Youth?

Hey, they take the rap for everything else, why not this?

Who wants to bet that Blair doesn't know anyone that died in 9/11? Sounds like the kind of douche that gets all uppity about upholding their memory and then comes to NYC and turns Ground Zero into the city's #1 tourist attraction.

Interestingly enough, the way NYC stunk in the days after 9/11? As we breathed in pieces of buildings and people? Smelled kinda like this vagina.

I've seen preview tickets going for $70. Like I said, I'd actually like to see this out of curiosity, but not at that price.

Jesus Christ, Weapon. It's been nigh on ten years since that happened. You know how much shit has gone done in America and the rest of the world since then. Stop holding 9/11 up like it's the greatest fucking tragedy the world has ever seen.

People were using the phrase Pearl Harboured a few months after that happened I think ten years after 9/11 it's okay to make jokes.

It was a funny little freak out though.

yesssssssss

Carnage looks kind of awesome in a terrible way.

Two headlines coming under attack in the last week! Gasp!
At least this one is funny*.


*no offense Renn, that article was great.

Really? That's actually way cheaper than I'd expect. Broadway tickets are absolutely ridiculous these days.

Know what's funny? While looking up info for this article I found that there are musicals coming next year for Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (kinda makes sense), Catch Me If You Can (huh?) and... Sister Act. And we bitch about remakes...

Hopefully they're including health insurance vouchers in that price. I'd hate to be the guy in Aisle 4 who's Swiss Missed as she tries to fly over the crowd.

I'd see the hell out of a Priscilla musical on Broadway.

What's wrong with Sonic Youth?

What, no one else is scared of Jazz Hands Spidey in the last photo?

That was my favourite pic!

Alex, I thought the headline was kinda tasteless too. Not in an "I'm offended" way, but in a "I'm pretty sure he could have come up with something funny instead of just incendiary" kinda way. It's the kind of desperate-to-be-edgy quip that makes CHUD look bloggy and low-rent. Of course, one lame headline doesn't negate all the good work you do here (and I don't think you're hit-hunting), so I'm not going to be a jackass ("Osama Bin CHUD" was pretty lame, too) or lose any sleep; just registering my two cents.

Okay... three cents: picking on Blair because you don't feel like Blair has enough of a stake in the tragedy to be offended (because he probably doesn't know anybody who died) is sort of silly. When you aim low with a joke that you know is gonna offend people, attacking them when they express the offense amounts to entrapment. And since not all of us are here to high-five each other when someone scores a good burn or types the word vagina, it's just kind of childish and depressing to read through and/or avoid reading.

Now for the flip-side, for people who are losing their mind in offense at the headline: every year about ten times as many people as the 9/11 victims' list are killed in car crashes, but you didn't take MrSaxon's "car crash" comment to task for dishonoring their memories. A bit of perspective...

Hopefully that sounded more like constructive criticism and less like me being prudish and preachy (because trust me - I'm neither). Like I said, I like CHUD and its contributors/community, so I'm just registering my opinion.

Only if they can get someone as awesome as Terrence Stamp to star.

Christ. Pepsi Throwback BURNS when it comes out of the nose.


This thing looks bananas and not good bananas. But maybe good bad bananas.

This musical will kill someone.

Seriously. You guys heard about the stunt guys trying out the spider-stunts, right? The first one broke both of his feet. The second one? Both of his hands.

They're gonna get "Vic Morrow'd" by Swiss Miss.

I don't plan on seeing this, but only because of what they'll be charging. I bet this is cool as hell to see, even if it's terrible. And based on how other Julie Taymor shows have turned out, I'd put down money that it isn't terrible at all. I mean, I don't think it will be decent as a Spiderman story, but I don't really give a fuck about Spiderman.

The only thing that would give me pause is Bono, but this is all about the stagecraft. And Parker is right; someone will absolutely get killed by this show.

I've never seen a Broadway show in my life, so I dunno about there, but let's not forget how terrible Across the Universe was.

In case you forgot: it's terrible.