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LATE TO THE PARTY: BATTLEFIELD EARTH

post #1 of 20
11/19/10 at 6:30pm
Thread Starter 
Renn's going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.

More...
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post #2 of 20
11/19/10 at 7:04pm
Quote:
If you're not familiar, a race of oversized humanoids called Pschlos (from a big dumb purple planet that explodes more easily than the Death Star called Psychlo) have taken over earth and are mining it for resources in a universe where gold is more precious and rare than, say, platinum. The assholes have pretty much obliterated the human, and use the remaining "man animals" as slave labor for a vague set of tasks (moving rocks?) that isn't actually the mining they're there to do. Apparently the Psyclos believe manimals are too dumb to learn the techniques necessary to chisel and move around rock. When Terl, the lead evil Psyclo, is forced to serve another indefinitely long tour of duty on the shithole that is earth (think Agent Smith if he was retarded, 9 feet tall, dreadlocked, but still thought the planet stank) he hatches a plan with his silly assistant Ker (played by Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker- and the eye ain't done no favors by yellow contacts) to train manimals to mine, and then collect a big batch of gold that would otherwise be unreachable because of radiation or some shit. One particular manimal is captured by the Psyclos, ends up getting put in a learning machine that teaches him math and other delights of advanced culture. He eventually stages a revolt that sees cavemen learn to pilot harrier jets and other advanced military equipment in the span of week, with all of the equipment still being in pristine, fueled condition after 1000 years (apparently none of it was used in the 9-minute war when the Psyclos first came either).
You made that up. Come on...you had to. Right? Please tell me you made that up. Seriously, I need you to have made that up. This isn't cool.
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post #3 of 20
11/19/10 at 7:19pm
I've successfully avoided seeing this movie for a decade. Every time I think about trying to watch it, somebody comes out with a review to scare me away.

Thank you, Renn.
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post #4 of 20
11/19/10 at 8:42pm
That Dutch Angles gif was a truly brilliant touch.
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post #5 of 20
11/19/10 at 9:42pm
I wanna second the love for the Dutch Angles gif. Never realized the shots were that dutched before.
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post #6 of 20
11/19/10 at 10:12pm
I saw this movie opening day. On a date.

She's married now, and it ain't to me.
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post #7 of 20
11/19/10 at 10:18pm
I like this movie. Ever since I saw it in the dollar movies back in 2000. It's so absurd and Travolta acts so over the top that I find myself laughing at it and enjoying it.

I got a few Battlefield Earth toys including a talking Terl doll for dirt cheap not long after I saw the movie since it had flopped so badly.

Love the article. All the .gifs are amazing.
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post #8 of 20
11/20/10 at 12:20am
Fun article Renn. The only time I've tried to watch it I got about an hour in. I remember just feeling really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really bad for Barry Pepper.
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post #9 of 20
11/20/10 at 5:47am
More gratitude for the examination of the dutch angles (as well as the JPG stretch in the trailer!). This movie is as hilarious as Batman & Robin if you can take it. TAKE IT!

I'll be looking forward to your Late to the Party pieces for the great films you listed.
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post #10 of 20
11/20/10 at 6:12am
Since apparently I enjoy jamming sewing implements into my scrotum, I have tried watching this movie multiple times. Multiple. I just can't do it. The most I could do was watch it in 20 minutes increments. But I find it impossible to watch all at once. I get really angry at myself about an hour in and stop.
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post #11 of 20
11/20/10 at 8:15am
Great article. The dutch angle gif was awesome. I've never been able to bring myself to sit down and watch this movie for over a decade now. One day I might just let the torture happen and watch it.
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post #12 of 20
11/20/10 at 8:38am
Love the fact that Barry Pepper's name is right up there between Travolta and Forrest's in the trailer credits like he's a huge, recognisable name. Bet that hasn't ever happened again.
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post #13 of 20
11/20/10 at 8:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bucho View Post
Fun article Renn. The only time I've tried to watch it I got about an hour in. I remember just feeling really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really bad for Barry Pepper.
I was just coming on to say just that (but with fewer "reallys")

There are few real career killers out there but Pepper really never came back from this did he? Sort of like Alicia Silverstone (Man, she's hot) in Batman and Robin.

Although, you would think he would have done a double take at his character's name alone. Why the hell is he called Jonnie Goodboy Tyler?
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post #14 of 20
11/20/10 at 10:06am
Rene, I know you like everything but you must draw the line somewhere.
And Barry Pepper has THREE BURIALS on his resume.
That outweighs the stench of EARTH.
Hilarious article, Renn.
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post #15 of 20
11/20/10 at 6:22pm
Watching that trailer really made me think that there's no way this movie was done seriously...it had to be a huge joke or something...right? Come on...it cant be that rediculous and expect to be taken seriously. Love the two shots of Travolta's maniac laughter.
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post #16 of 20
11/20/10 at 6:33pm
I watched Battlefield Earth when it first came out on video back in the day. I will never watch that piece of crap again. What made my viewing experience worse was the fact that I kinda liked the book when I read it years ago. There's a part of me that wants to see a movie based on the L. Ron Hubbard book Final Blackout, but I would be scared that the result would be as disastrous as Battlefield Earth.
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post #17 of 20
11/20/10 at 6:38pm
That dutch angle gif is greatness Renn, thanks for bringing it to the world.

Also, having stared transfixed at (one of the) gifs of the cows leg being shot out, I love the look of the cow in the back, comically watching the cheap prosthetic leg being yanked away by some fishing wire.
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post #18 of 20
11/20/10 at 6:47pm
The dvd commentary for this is a must listen, although I don't recall anyone explaining why Travolta decided to use his gay Dracula character from SNL as a basis for his performance as Terl.
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post #19 of 20
11/21/10 at 4:51pm
The only thing funnier than watching this movie is watching the 'Making Of' featurette on the DVD immediately after. It's full of clips of the cast and crew claiming how brilliant the script is. They even try to justify the ridiculous Dutch Angles by claiming that tilting the camera was the only way to fit humans in the same frame as the larger Psychlos. Amazing how every other director in history has been able to manage this without tilting the frame 45 degrees....
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post #20 of 20
11/21/10 at 5:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SgtZim View Post
The only thing funnier than watching this movie is watching the 'Making Of' featurette on the DVD immediately after. It's full of clips of the cast and crew claiming how brilliant the script is. They even try to justify the ridiculous Dutch Angles by claiming that tilting the camera was the only way to fit humans in the same frame as the larger Psychlos. Amazing how every other director in history has been able to manage this without tilting the frame 45 degrees....
Watching it with the Rifftrax accompaniment may be funnier, and less depressing. It's one of the better ones that I've heard (though Raiders of the Lost Ark is still my fave).
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